Superstar was married and divorced many times. His current wife was half his age, topped the list of the sexiest women of the year and still felt insecure. Her beautiful and arrogant face was shadowed with anxiety while her big passionate dark eyes shifted watchfully from one woman's face to another in search of a possible rival. At some point Elisabeth got into her focus but wasn't considered a strong opponent. Elisabeth standing looked spectacular but now she was sitting and Superstar's Wife couldn't see much of her except for the bare shoulders and face. Shoulders were elegant but nothing outstanding while the face was just attractive, not more. In other words from the wife's point of view she wasn't a danger and you can imagine her surprise when she heard Superstar asking his neighbour:
"Do you know the people around that table?"
"Hardly," said one of Superstar's companions, a well-known British producer, "although I think I've seen one of them around. Who you're interested in?"
"Do you see that couple: the older man with the hairdo of young Tom Jones and a blond woman on his left? I'm interested in the woman." Superstar answered without any regards to his other half's feelings.
"No. I've never seen them before although I have to admit that his face looks familiar to me. Do you want to find out who they are?"
"Yes."
"Darling," the wife said with the dangerous tingle in her beautiful haughty voice, "what do you need these horrible people for?"
"Just curious, dear," he answered absentmindedly, patting her hand.
Elisabeth danced with Maxim who was very gracious to offer her a first dance and then with every single man from their table. When she stood up for the first time the Superstar's wife fixed her a thorough appraisal. She didn't like what she saw. On the contrary Superstar did and he had no intention to hide it. She liked that even less.
"I'm bored," she said, "all these events are so monotonous and similar. And all these people are so primitive and ghastly. Let's go home."
"Poor baby, are you tired?" Superstar asked with exaggerated care.
"Yes."
"Then go. Anton will see you back to the hotel. Take a long soothing bath and go straight to bed. You do look a bit weary."
"And what about you?" she asked flexing as a snake before attack.
"I'll stay for a while if you don't mind. I haven't yet met all the people I intended to."
"Then I'll stay too. Good wife doesn't abandon her husband." she smiled caustically.
If her reply disappointed her he didn't show.
"Fancy a dance?" he asked and not waiting for her answer raised from his seat with an air of a man who always gets what he wants in the end.
They danced in a close proximity to Elisabeth and her partner in spite of the Superstar's wife's attempts to keep him away from the girl as far as possible. Nevertheless being a resourceful person (without that you don't have any chances to make it big in Hollywood) Superstar found the way to meet Elisabeth and Maxim. One of his lieutenants introduced them while the other danced with his spouse. Maxim nearly fainted when Superstar addressed him and while he regained his consciousness Elisabeth got the honour of a dance with mega celebrity. During the three minutes that followed Superstar charmed her shamelessly so that even more sophisticated woman than Elisabeth would be flattered if not totally entranced. Watching them Superstar's wife got seriously alarmed and after they finished their dance followed her husband everywhere not giving him a moment of freedom.
Next morning all the workers of Maxim's salon and all the customers which were present at the time had a real shock when Superstar showed himself in. Maxim who saw him first rushed towards most unexpected but at the same time most welcomed visitor.
"Forgive my impertinence," said the eminent guest, "I can see that you're packed but my hair badly needs some trimming and so I hope against hopes that you will take me on such short notice."
Maxim didn't say a word just wagged his tail frantically. It was clear that he was ready not just trim Superstar's hair, but also cut his toenails, wash his underwear and floss his teeth.
"Take a seat and…" Maxim was going to say "and I will personally serve you" but being as quick-witted as the famous ancient Greek hero he said instead: "take a seat and I'll take care of everything."
"Elisabeth," he called out louder that was needed.
Superstar nodded approvingly.
"Elisabeth," Maxim yelped on the top of his voice encouraged by the sign of royal appreciation, "Elisabeth, are you busy right now? I need your help."
"I'm doing Ms Welwyngarten's lowlights." Said Elisabeth enjoying the situation.
"Leo will swap with you."
In some movies the only touch of hero's hair makes a heroine feel both stirred and shaken, but regrettably the Superstar's hair didn't have that amazing quality. As a matter of fact he didn't have much hair but Elisabeth was a true master of scissors. Also she was rather ambitious and to make a good haircut out of practically nothing was a nice challenge.
"Not bad, my girl," Maxim said grudgingly when she had finished, "why, he even looks ten years younger," he whispered into her ear a moment later.
That wasn't an exaggeration and Superstar looked both pleased and amused. He planned to shower Elisabeth with compliments regardless of result. Now he could say sincerely:
"Elisabeth, you're a wizard. I owe you one," he looked again in the mirror and continued, "may I buy you a dinner tonight?"
Girls will die when I'll tell them, Elisabeth thought, especially Mary. She adores him. She has all his movies at home.
At that moment the swinging doors of the salon opened and everybody inside it saw a breathtaking mirage: Superstar's spouse in aura of her outstanding beauty, outrageously expensive clothes and a cloud of immortal Channel N5.
"Ready, darling?" the wife asked showing her magnificent teeth in a Hollywood smile. "You look great. Such work deserves a major tip."
She gave Elisabeth a special glance she had for her servants, drivers and many other people outside her social circle. In short, she eyed Elisabeth like some trash which one would prefer to ignore but couldn't because it lay in untidy heap right in one's way.
Some time later a big box of chocolates was delivered for Elisabeth to the salon. She didn't like sweets generally but these ones were excellent. At some point she was even sorry that she shared them with the others. There was a tiny card attached to the box in which Superstar named the restaurant and the time he was expecting her there.
They both enjoyed the evening a lot and not for entirely different reasons. The Superstar was a great companion: clever, sophisticated and witty while Elisabeth who laughed heartily to all his jokes entertained him with funny stories of her life and anecdotes of which she had an endless stock.
They had an excellent soup followed by so-called Olde farmer's snack and tutti-frutti.
"What are we doing next?" Superstar asked when they left the restaurant.
"I personally call the cab and go home." Elisabeth said in a way that didn't leave a place for any misinterpretation.
Superstar didn't mind. He was ready and willing to wait a bit. About a day or two.
"What are you doing tomorrow?" he asked.
"I'm working all day."
"Any plans for the evening?"
"Look," said Elisabeth, "I don't want to sound terribly prudish but haven't you forgotten something. Like your wife?"
"How can I?" Superstar smiled. "But it has nothing to do with my wife or on the contrary it has everything to do with her. I want to buy a house near London. And I was going to ask you to do me a great favour: to come and see with me a few places my agent picked for me."
"Wouldn't it be more logical to ask your wife, after all it's she who will have to live there."
"True, true, but you see, it's a kind of surprise for her and also I want an opinion of somebody truly English which my wife is obviously not."
"I'm free the day after tomorrow." Elisabeth said laconically.
"Excellent!"
He saw Elisabeth to cab and waved her good-bye in a most friendly manner. His wife who spied on them from the depth of her car sighed with relief yet when she stopped the car near him and he sat aside her looking moderately amused she said angrily:
"I'll kill the bitch!"
"Don't be ridiculous, darling." Superstar said lazily and closed his eyes.
That night he dreamt of Elisabeth. It was a very pleasant dream. And quite eventful too.
The day he went on the house-hunting trip with her he took all possible and impossible precautions for his wife not to follow them. They saw a few properties, then had a nice light lunch in some picturesque country pub which as the current owner claimed served its customers from the beginning of the 15th century, its first proprietor being a smuggler who was condemned to death but managed to escape from gaol and died at the age of one hundred still serving in the pub.
Then they saw a few more properties all of them rather majestic, but in spite of their grandeur Elisabeth didn't feel any envy towards the Superstar's wife who were to move in one of them in a foreseeable future. The last house on their list turned out to be the best of all. It was a building of an outstanding beauty, as they usually say in guidebooks, surrounded by grounds of equal loveliness.
"O, my God!" Elisabeth said perhaps in tenth time in ten minutes.
"I know." Superstar agreed.
They had a tour around the house and now were standing on the second floor landing in front of the enormous window. It overlooked a beautiful park of the estate and green fields and meadows stretching behind it. It was the sweetest sight for any true British heart, a model of peace and tranquillity which only good old Britain can produce. Elisabeth was a real patriot. She always got pleasure in countryside landscape and now she felt sentimental and soft. Superstar wasn't British so instead of drooling over the views he watched Elisabeth with the eyes of an eagle. He pulled her towards him and before she had time to react kissed her. Elisabeth felt his tongue parting her lips in one skilful move and thought: "How funny, during last month I've had two of the greatest kisses of my life". Nonetheless she told Superstar crossly never to do it again. Elisabeth maybe had slept with a hundred men but she never had sex with married ones.
At the evening she got a very unpleasant phone call. It was from the Superstar's wife.
"Leave my husband alone." she hissed pretty menacingly into receiver.
At first Elisabeth tried to talk to her kindly in an attempt to explain that nothing had happened between them or ever would but the wife didn't want to listen. In the end Elisabeth hanged on in despair. Later she had to switch off her telephone because of incessant malicious calls. Elisabeth was so upset that even her favourite salad with squid for supper didn't comfort her.
The next morning the wife stormed into their salon and made an ugly scene using the language which didn't match her refine appearance. The two following days were a real nightmare for Elisabeth and then it stopped as abruptly as started.
Superstar returned to America.
At the end of the week Elisabeth had another surprise but of a very different nature: she got two tickets for a film preview. No, not a film preview but THE film preview.
Or even the FILM preview.
This film was promised to become a historic event in cinematography and all the critics before seeing it had their review drafts ready and full of words "marvellous", "outstanding", "the greatest movie in the history of film making after Battleship Potemkin" and so on. Because it was so big or rather predicted to be so big it was going to have two previews in London: one for the special guests and a few very lucky members of public and the other for the very special guests and no members of public at all. Elisabeth got her invitations for the most prestigious one.
"You're going to brush with the royalties." Mary said when Elisabeth told her the news.
"I'd love to take you with me but this idiot sent the tickets to the salon address and Maxim sweetly agreed to accompany me yet again. And again without being asked."
"Never mind. But who's the idiot?"
"Bill, of course, who else could do that? Speaking of which I had to call and thank him."
But Bill only laughed at her.
"You haven't got a clue, have you?" he said. "I won't have an invitation to there even for myself. Not in a million years. And taking in an account that you got it… when? day before yesterday? Which means two days before the event, right? Which in its turn means that somebody who's managed to get you two tickets in virtually last second has to be huge! Not just huge but mega huge. You're doing well, my girl."
"How do you know that it's he and not she?" Elisabeth protested weakly.
"Have you become a lesbian lately?"
Superstar, thought Elisabeth and something warm stirred in her chest, and against her will her lips stretched into a rather stupid smile. Whatever sort of person he was, whatever was her personal opinion of him his gesture was appreciated. She thought of the way to thank him and for a short little moment regretted that Superstar was in America.
But he wasn't.
He was the first person she saw when the movie ended and the guests gathered in the reception area. He smiled to Elisabeth broadly and started to walk towards her when from the thicket of the crowd his wife emerged and cut across Elisabeth. She looked murderous. Elisabeth who was a constant reader of women's magazines prepared for being splashed with an acid or even shot but fortunately all the ammunition the lady had was a stream of abuses of the foulest nature. The other guests pretended to look shocked while in reality they were pleasurably excited. Elisabeth tried to get away but the Superstar's wife had no intention to let her go. She stopped only when Superstar whispered her something and let him take her away. While everybody was watching their spectacular exit Elisabeth made herself scarce.
Superstar tried to talk to her next day in the salon but she threw him away and told that her biggest wish was to forget about ever meeting him. She gave herself a solemn promise never to participate in any star-studded events again.
Meanwhile Kitty was preparing for the occasion of a very different kind: Hippopotamus' birthday party was coming. Hippopotamus' real name was Philip and he was her husband Lawrence's little brother.
Of course if you can call little somebody who weighs around 22 stones.
Like most of the overweight people Hippopotamus had a wonderful disposition and was a soul of any company. Kitty adored him. Even before the end of school Hippopotamus started his own computer-linked business and became so successful that in his late twenties he was an owner of a big company, yacht, three sport cars (too small for his bulk) and a lovely estate in Kent where every year he threw tremendous parties at his birthday. They were of the jolliest kind because his guests knew how to have a great time. This year somebody recommended Hippopotamus to organise a whodunit party and although Kitty thought the idea quite stupid she was tickled pink by the character she was going to play. She supposed to be a glamour model and erotic movies' actress which for Kitty who was a one-man woman and an extremely decent type was a real challenge. In the game she supposed to have an official lover and protector, two semi-official lovers and her goal was to persuade the producer, Hippopotamus himself, to try her for the main role in his new movie. Bearing in mind Mary's handicraft's skills she asked her friend to help her with the clothes for this costume party. Finally lavishly made-up, in a dress made by Mary and a pair of new knee-high fake crocodile boots on her legs she approached the mirror.
"Oh dear, I look exactly like…" Kitty started.
A cheap slut, Lydia would say if she was present but she wasn't and Mary would never use words like that.
"A call girl?" She volunteered laying table for tea.
The irresistible aroma of vanilla and hot honey coming from the kitchen stated that the cake they baked was ready. (To be truthful Mary's participation was mostly in supplying some ingredients and crushing walnuts)
"You mean like a prostitute?" Kitty asked looking inquisitively into the mirror.
The effect was stunning. Kitty belonged to that type of the women who having a nice figure, nice face and good hair somehow manage to stay completely unnoticeable. She wore her hair in a bun partly because somebody told her that she had a lovely shape of head but mostly because it was faster and easier that way. Now her hair free and curled at the ends hid the abovementioned lovely shape but they made her face look livelier and prettier.
"You have to use more make-up." Mary said watching her critically. "Not that much naturally, but some. It really becomes you. Look at your eyes! They're so big and blue. And your lips! Why don't you?"
"I don't know," said Kitty," it takes so much time to apply all this stuff and with the home to run and family and work I simply haven't got it."
"Rubbish." Mary said severely. "You're just lazy and don't appreciate what Nature gave you. I would kill for a pair of legs like yours! Why don't you wear mini-skirts all the time?"
"I don't know. I guess they are not me. And Lawrence likes me looking conventional."
"Did he tell you that?"
"Yes, many times. He told me also that he hates this world-wide obsession with enhancing, liposuction and other kinds of home improvements as he calls it."
"You don't need any of them," Mary said firmly, "just a little mascara, a smidgeon of lipstick and a touch of eye-shadow. Lawrence might not even notice."
"Oh, he will and I bet he won't approve it," Kitty chuckled, "he will have a fit today when he sees me.
Lawrence was indeed surprised and displeased.
"What was this idiot Philip thinking of when offering this role to you?" he said irritably. "I will have a few words with him."
"Don't be ridiculous, Ginger," said Kitty, "I think it's hilarious."
"Not at all. And, please, do not call me this stupid name. How many times I have to ask you about that?"
"You didn't mind it in past." Kitty said pouting.
Their short squabble didn't spoil her festive mood and the sight of Philip's brightly lit mansion made her heart beat faster. She was excited because she adored parties. They always gave her a feeling that something absolutely wonderful and amazing was going to happen. She had the same feeling now and sighed happily in pleasurable anticipation.
"You look fabulous." Hippopotamus said beaming at her when they entered his giant sitting room.
"No, she doesn't." Lawrence said coldly. "You have very strange fantasies, pal. My wife cannot possibly be associated with the image you gave her in your idiotic farce."
He continued to talk clearly enjoying the sound of his own voice. Both Kitty and Philip were used to it and stopped listen almost at once. Lawrence always talked a lot. Kitty suspected that that was the main reason for him becoming a lawyer.
Most of the guests were already there. Kitty didn't know all of them as each year their company grew. The party was already in a full swing and Kitty joined everybody as soon as she saw her stuff to be taken into their bedroom. Hippopotamus' butler – oh yes, he had a butler alright! – gave the newcomers printed instructions with the main plot, list of suspects (which as usual included all the guests) and some useful hints.
Kitty was thoroughly enjoying herself, fortunately hers and Lawrence's paths didn't cross so he couldn't spoil her glorious mood with his gloomy face and acid remarks. Kitty saw him once or twice from the distance and he looked fairly content. They had a very nice dinner which was part of the game as one of the guests had to be poisoned during it. Hippopotamus cooked the dinner himself, he loved to cook and kept saying that if his business would go bunk he would become a chef. This time they had a delicious fisherman's soup for starter and duckling as a main dish.
After dinner they danced a little and in the crowd a second guest was killed. Stubbed to death to be precise. Kitty opened her mouth with glee ready to scream on the top of her voice but was stopped by a certain unpleasant sensation deep inside her which could mean one thing only: her periods were going to start and four days earlier too. Normally it came with clockwork precision, no wonder that she was totally unprepared. She rushed upstairs in hope to find all necessary things in one of the bathrooms. Philip was a first-rate host and always kept a stock of virtually everything.
Perhaps if she would visit the en-suite of her and Lawrence's bedroom nothing that took place afterwards would happen but she was in a light panic and popped in to the first door on her way. She found all she needed and was ready to leave the place when she heard somebody entering the room. Her first impulse was to come out of the bathroom, to apologize for her intruding and to explain the situation but to her horror the couple in the room started kissing without much ado, kissing that soon developed into a noisy love-making. So poor Kitty sat on the edge of the bath tub being really miserable. On one hand the situation was quite comical on the other she thought in horror about an awkward minute when the couple would discover her in her haven. Meanwhile they finished their business and almost immediately started arguing. Kitty had no wish to listen to their fight but she had no choice either.
So she listened. If there was one thing that she learned from their dispute that was the fact that they weren't married as the woman demanded the man to come clean with his wife. The man insisted that he needed some time to sort the things out. Just like men usually do.
"Swine," Kitty thought, "I bet he's not going to do anything. I bet he is happy with the situation like it is, cheating on them both and congratulating himself what a stag he is. I hate such men, Lawrence would never be like that." The thought of Lawrence made her smile. Lawrence was a terrible bore sometimes but otherwise he was perfect. The best husband in the world! From Lawrence her thoughts took another course. She was curious who were her accidental neighbours and wondered whether she ever would know that.
Meanwhile the couple finally came to peace and went away without taking any interest in the next-door facilities. A personal hygiene wasn't clearly on their priority list. Feeling relieved Kitty left her hiding place too. All the way back to the lounge she chuckled, imagining expression on the couple's faces if they learned about her presence. Suddenly she realised that it wouldn't be difficult to identify the cheating husband. Apart from her and Lawrence there were only two married couple present and Kitty prided herself in being a good physiognomist. She was sure to easily find out which of them was guilty. It was much more complicated with the woman, virtually any female could turn out to be her. OK, not any, she, for example, would never be the one. She would never cheat on her sweet funny Ginger. She thought how they would laugh with Lawrence when later in the night she would tell him about her adventure. As soon as she thought that she realised that she wasn't sure about that: Lawrence was rather upright. And a bit too willing to pass a judgment on the others. And he would disapprove of her unintentional eavesdropping.
So after some careful consideration Kitty chose not to tell Lawrence anything. Instead of it she decided to do some sleuthing. First of all she studied all the people present at the party but they all looked absolutely ordinary. They acted rather naturally too talking, laughing, asking for drinks or even demanding dessert because Hippopotamus promised them a torte the recipe for which he had just found somewhere.
Finally Kitty gave up her Sherlock-holmesing and decided to take a short cut. Therefore she approached Philip and asked him boldly whose bedroom was the first in the left wing. Hippopotamus looked quizzically at her and demanded why she was so interested in that. Kitty had a plausible explanation ready and he pointed at a tall girl with long blond hair who was speaking to some guy.
"Don't you know her?" Hippopotamus asked. "She works with your husband. Her name is Joanne. Joanne Reed."
When he needed any legal help Philip always used his brother's firm. He knew all the Lawrence's colleagues and a few of them were amongst his guests. Kitty thought of how Lawrence would react if he learned about such moral decline amid his co-workers. She also didn't like Joanne at all, the girl looked too confident and haughty. Now Kitty's wish to know who Joanne was with became even stronger. Risking to be considered rude Kitty followed Joanne with her eyes everywhere. Meanwhile oblivious to Kitty's interest in her Joanne drifted from one guest to another until she moved to the end of the room and stopped there to talk to Lawrence. Kitty couldn't hear them but she saw their faces and they were impassive and even a trifle hostile. And then she saw something else. Joanne and Kitty's husband were standing side by side near the corner cabinet unaware of their backs reflecting in a mirror glass behind them. This mirror showed Kitty her husband's hand caressing Joanne's behind with enviable enthusiasm.
Now she understood why the male voice sounded familiar to her!