"I never found out why you have a flaming hammer."

"You'll find out soon enough…"

"Again c'mon man, we're friends, tell me!"

"Naaah."

The walk back into camp was short and boring. With nothing to amuse me I day dreamed of meeting someone without an American accent. Then I heard it, the perfect accent, Italian. The smooth voice of an Italian drifted towards me. It was the sexiest thing I'd ever heard. I broke into a run following the sound of the voice. Sneaking up on the speaker I grabbed them from behind in a fierce embrace. He was slightly shorter than me and dressed in all black. He was cool to touch but it was refreshing after being around Leo, who radiates heat.

"Finally someone without an American accent."

The boy blushed and looked down at the ground. It was extremely cute.

"I-I'm Italian."

Oh my gods, he stuttered, adooooorable. Eeeeeeeeee, he is the cutest thing. Everyone is lookin gat us oddly, I guess it's because I'm still hugging him.

"Y'know if you don't hug back soon this is gonna get really awkward."

He shifted in my arms and looked up at me. His face was redder than the beetroot on my breakfast McOz. Cutting the piece of cuteness some slack I let go. He seemed slightly disappointed but I am occasionally delusional.

"Hi, I'm Ryan, Australian demi-god son of Tyche."

"Nico, Son of Hades, Ghost King."

"Does this make us cousins or am I allowed to like you?"

Nico, his name is Nico. He looks cute when he's red. Matches the scary goth look well.

"D-do Australians ride kangaroos?"

"Naaah, Emu's are faster, more efficient, but harder to catch."

"Really?"

"Nope, we use cars and buses like regular people, though riding an emu is fun."

His laughter was adorable too, I want him more than a big mac right now. He will be mine and I will pet him. I slung an arm around his shoulder and led him away from the other demi-gods.

"So Nico, I heard you took all the Happy Meals, care to explain?"

"I summon the dead?"

"I think I can accept that answer."

"Where are we going?"

"I have no idea."

"Have you ever tried vegemite?"

"No, what in Hades domain is vegemite."

"Vegemite is a rite of passage for all Australians, and all those who are with Australians. You game to try it?"

"Am I with you?"

"I hope so."

"Okay, I'll try it."

"Yay, now I just need some vegemite."

"I could shadow travel to Australia?

"Yes! Best boyfriend ever!"

"Am I your boyfriend?"

"You are now! C'mon, we've got some vegemite to find!"

"Okay, C-can I hold your hand? It's for the shadow travel."

"You don't need to ask, you're mine and I'm yours."

"O-okay."

Oh the gods he's red again. Butterflies are buzzing. It's like he's a kitten, so cute and fluffy. Always wanted a foreign boyfriend now I have my Nico. Squeeeeeee he's holding my hand! Poof Australia. Not really poof, it was kinda depressing with those bodiless voices but eh I'm in Australia, I'm not complaining.

"Sorry about the voices."

"Nico you're looking a little bit pale."

"Just a side effect, don't worry about it, the sun'll fix me up."

"Good thing this is Australia, we've got plenty of sun."

Still worried about the fading thing. Eh if it'll pass, it'll pass. It's good to be back home because I still call Australia home. Ooo pretty green flames. Aaah old dude in the flames! OLD DUDE IN THE FLAMES!

"What the fuck?!"

"You demi-gods are always so eloquent. Nico, son what is with your… friend."

Cue evil sneer.

"Father? What are you doing here?"

"Nico, I need you to do a quest for me here in Australia."

"I guess the vegemite can wait Nico."

"What is it you want of me father?"

"I want you and your little friend to track down an object of great importance. Some ignorant fool thought it wise to steal my staff."

"The giant fork?"

"Yes fool! Retrieve it and return it to my domain, son."

Hades then vanished with and unmanly poof leaving Nico and I stunned. Me more so than him.

"Can I get a Happy Meal before we start this quest, I'm starving."

"Y-yeah sure Ryan, sorry about my dad."

"It's okay, always knew he was a scary guy but not as frightening when he poofs away."

Nico laughed. It was a nice laugh.

"Food, I need food, where's the nearest Maccas?"

"I don't know, I've never been to Australia before."

"I think we're in Sydney so there should be one within a block."

After about a day of walking (about 100 metres) we found the golden arches.

"Woot, Happy Meal here I come."

After waiting in line my turn came, I ordered 5. My number was called and I headed towards a table, Nico trailed behind like an adorable lost puppy. I flomped onto a seat and opened my first meal.

"Are you really going to eat ALL of that?"

"Yes, are you going to help?"

I smiled at Nico and his blush deepened. He hesitantly took one of the meals and started eating. We shared the last meal together just as a fucking Minotaur burst through to doors. Seriously could this day get weirder? Shadow travel I can handle, angry gods I can handle but a fucking Minotaur after my food?! Shit just got serious and I have five ponies to sacrifice.