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Chapter Thirteen
Waking up in a far too bright room facing a House Elf is not what Harry had in mind if he had to pick the ideal way to regain consciousness. And Cheni's high-pitched little voiced didn't help his hangover one bit.
"Oh Master Harry, please wake-up. Mistress Snape is sending Cheni to wake you up and tell you that lunch will be served in 30 minutes."
"Thank-you Cheni, I'm awake. Please make sure there is coffee served with my lunch. I'm going to get ready."
A shower, some fresh clothes and a quick tidy of the room saw Harry ready to head down stairs with his IPod in hand, barely making it outside in time for lunch to be served.
"Good Afternoon Alex. Did you sleep well?"
Cassi was, as ever, far too cheerful for Harry to deal with before his coffee. Slipping into the universal language of those who have yet to enjoy their first cup of the day Harry grunted. Sitting down none too gracefully Harry practically dove on the coffee. 2 cups later he was ready to face the people looking at him with varying degrees of amusement and annoyance.
"Cassi, yes, very well thank-you. Good afternoon all. Draco, I brought down my IPod so I could show you muggle music after lunch. So, what did we all get up too last night and this morning? Daddy dearest you are looking particularly cheerful today!"
Smirking merrily Harry served himself some chicken salad and drank his coffee, quietly patting himself on the back for his efforts to annoy this afternoon.
"Thank-you, I'm sure, Alex. So the club was fun then was it? You seemed to get home earlier then usual last night." Calm and collected was such a funny look on the usually sarcastic and 'slimy git' Snape.
"Ahh, it was great fun, but I decided to head home after closing instead of taking the party back to someone's place. After all, I needed my beauty sleep before tonight. So, no one answered, I may start to feel unloved! What did everyone get up to today?" He may be a little slow on the up take but it was beginning to appear to him that he may be in a most peculiar mood.
Lunch continued in much the same vein, with Harry dominating the conversation and keeping everybody on his or her toes. Moments after he finished he surprised everybody by dragging Draco off to the banks of the lake. Explaining how to use the IPod only took a few minutes and he set it to shuffle so that Draco would get a mix of the music on the IPod, which contained a little bit of everything.
With Draco occupied Harry let his mind drift. He had recognized his behavior at lunch that afternoon. He always got like this, just before the fall. Harry knew he dealt with grief in a somewhat unique way; he hesitated to use the words 'fucked up' but figured most other people probably wouldn't. When something bad happened he shut it down, locked it away in some distant corner of his mind where he could happily pretend to forget about it. That worked for a while, until he subconsciously realized he was ready to deal with it. He tended to get a little weird right before that happened.
Dealing with it was a production in itself. He generally slipped into a pretty bad depression. For days he would lie in bed, unable to summon the interest or energy to do anything. He'd force himself to eat at least one small meal a day, but other then that, nothing. Then he would suddenly be full of energy, but all he would be able to feel was the billion ants crawling under his skin, much worse then the feeling that normally drove him out at night. It would stay with him for days, making him fight for each breath, making him feel like he wanted to claw himself out of his own skin. And then it would be over, the worst of his grief seen too, and he would begin to heal.
He knew it was coming, knew that in the next few days his mind would force him to deal with the death of his Godfather. He supposed it was for the best. He knew that he needed to deal with it before he went back to school. Somehow he doubted he could find a way to explain 'Harry Potter' suddenly slipping into depression followed by several days of binge drinking, drugging and fucking. But Snape and Co. had never dealt with this before either, and he had no idea how he was going to make this work, especially with Malfoy here now. There was nothing for it; he would need Snape's assistance in pulling this off.
It was already 3:30 and Harry still had to get ready for tonight. There was no time like the present to deal with the now requisite meeting with Snape. Telling Malfoy to keep the IPod overnight, he headed back up to the house, hoping Snape had some time now to discuss the problem they would be facing in the next few days.
It wasn't often that Harry sought him out so Severus was more then happy to drop what he was doing and join Harry in his study. He listened as Harry explained the situation, and what Severus would be facing from his son in a few days time. He was shocked to say the least. He knew his son was 'different', but how screwed up was the teen that this was how he dealt with his Dogfather's death, with any kind of grief? Still, he knew better then to point that out, or to comment in anyway. Better just to deal with how they were going to handle the situation.
After some brief debate it was decided that they would pretend it was perfectly normal. That 'Alex' did things like this all the time, occasionally slipping into depression, then slipping into a binge faze, before returning to 'normal'. If they didn't make a big deal out of it, it would make Draco the odd man out if he seemed to focus on it. For this to work, Cassi had to be informed in advance, they needed her to act accordingly.
With a definite game plan in place, Harry headed upstairs to get ready. They were meeting at the hotel to drop of their bags and then heading straight out to dinner so he had to be wearing whatever he planned to wear all night when he left the manor. Packing an overnight bag with clothes for tomorrow and a few DVDs, Harry dressed in tight black jeans and a fitted dark green pin-stripe short-sleeved dress shirt, he then headed downstairs to say goodbye to everybody.
He was really beginning to love this freaking park. Arriving there meant that he was going from whatever game he had running at that moment to being himself, well in most instances. The park was, in some odd way, coming to symbolize the ability to shake himself free of his masks, well, kinda he thought as he morphed back into 'Harry'. The good ole pay phone on the corner served it's purpose once more and a taxi was there 25 minutes later. He walked into the hotel 10 minutes early, at 5:50.
The others arrived soon after and he couldn't help smirking as they begged for the goss he had promised them. Refusing to tell until they were all set and off at dinner they signed in quickly, same room setup applied, and headed off. Hermione was wearing a cute pale blue boat-neck top with low-cut boot-leg dark blue jeans. Charlie was dressed in black slacks and a sleeveless v-neck pullover. Ron was wearing jeans and a black muscle shirt, despite the somewhat lack of muscles.
They went to an Indian restaurant near the hotel, were they ordered one of the banquet meals so they could have a little of everything. Harry figured he really should put them out of their misery.
"So, the other morning, I'm heading downstairs when I hear Draco Malfoy's voice! I decide it's better to control the information he receives; I believe you all met 'Alex' that last morning after the concert right? Anyway, so, 'Alex' meets Malfoy, who, get this, it Snape's Godson! Certainly explains why he always gets away with murder ha!" The incredulous looks gave way to an amused sort of annoyance at the way the world works when the others heard this. Telling the rest of the story of what he had been up to, both with Malfoy and alone took another while and then everybody offered what they had been up too.
The booze flowed freely, well okay it cost money but it still flowed, and they took their time eating and just enjoying each others company. The show wasn't set to start until 9pm so they had plenty of time. Heading over just before 9, Harry was attempting to explain why 80s rock ruled, it didn't seem to be working but they were all having too much fun with the explanation to stop.
The pub was really filling up but they managed to find a table and ordered some beer. The band was good, playing Kiss, Bon Jovi, Poison, Skid Row and some others. There was a small dance floor but none of them really felt like dancing tonight. Better to just watch the show, enjoy the music and spending time with each other. The show was great and kept going until after midnight, with 3 small set breaks.
Afterwards a DJ started up and Harry decided that the 4 of them needed to dance a little before heading off. Together they danced to a few songs and then Harry dragged them out. Stopping past a 7/11, open 24 hrs, they bought piles of junk food and softdrinks. When they got back to the hotel they turned on the T.V., popped in a DVD and opened some of the junk food.
It was Lethal Weapon, a great 80s action movie. Harry curled up in Charlie's lap, leaning back against his chest. His feet rested in Hermione's lap as she sat beside them with Ron squeezed in on the end. They covered themselves with a blanket and settled in to watch the movie, laughing at the drama and action, enjoying the cozy way they were all jammed together, eating far too much sugar and loving every moment of it.
It was no surprise to anyone when at the end of Lethal Weapon 2 Harry called it a night, suggesting that maybe Charlie would like to come tuck him in. It was even less of a surprise when Charlie jumped at the opportunity. He followed Harry into the room and was a little startled when the door was kicked closed behind him and he was slammed a little roughly into the door before lips were on his in a demanding kiss, taking from him before he even had the option of offering.
After a moment Harry backed off a bit, just far enough to be able to look Charlie in the eyes. He seemed to be searching for something and Charlie hoped that whatever it was Harry would find it in him. It seemed he did cause soon Harry's lips were back on his with a kind of desperation Charlie remembered feeling from Harry a few times in the past, a desperation he had never been able to understand.
Harry didn't close his eyes as he kissed Charlie, didn't close his eyes as he pulled and pushed until Charlie was stripped and on the bed. Didn't close his eyes as he sought in Charlie whatever he had failed to find in the real world. It was desperate and fast, rough and heart-wrenchingly sad, and somehow Charlie just hoped that Harry found the cure to that haunted look in his eyes, hoped that maybe for one night he could be that cure.
It was over far too soon and while Charlie was still catching his breath Harry had already left their bed. Standing in front of the window, staring at the car park below, Harry smoked a cigarette. He hadn't found his cure; the numbness was beginning to settle in. By tomorrow night he would be so far inside the blackness of his mind that he would forget there was brightness out there, somewhere.
Charlie knew better then to disturb Harry when he got like this; sometimes you just couldn't touch him. He lay there, watching Harry in the dark, pretending to sleep, hoping for sleep, but when Harry finally crawled into bed 4 hours later he was still awake.
The next morning, no amount of coffee could convince Harry to actually join the conversation. Monosyllabic responses were the best they received and by silent agreement they packed up quickly, knowing that Harry would be headed home to crawl into bed for the next few days. It was for the best when he got like this. In a few days he would be himself again.
Signing out was easy and with a quick hug from Hermione Harry morphed back into Alex and portkeyed back to the manor. Heading upstairs without bothering to let anyone know he was back he wished he could hope this would be over soon, wished he could hope for anything.
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