Hey, I am back and I know I'm late its called being busy as hell and then drowning in my own tears while seeing The Fault in Our Stars, and I bring with me the longest chapter yet, this chapter is somewhere between 3,000 and 5,000 words! Holy Crap that is a lot of words! Oh the ideas for this chapter where the basis of why I wanted to write this story and have been with me from the very beginning, and because there has been time between December 24th to today, more ideas have joined the original ones and those two combined equal this humongous chapter! I own nothing BTW the lovely Veronica Roth owns The Divergent Trilogy and I own my glass of apple juice! So without further delay or ranting, which I could do forever, here is Chapter 9 of What If Tris Didn't Join Dauntless!
Chapter 9 - Flashbacks and uncovering the truth!
Kat POV
I lay on my bed unsure of what to do. The dauntless leaders gave us today off as they evaluate our rankings for stage one. I'm nervous, but at the same time I'm not. I did well enough to not be dead last or second last for that matter, but I know I'm not in the top 4 spots either. Probably 5th, but as I'm thinking about training, my thoughts drift off to Four and our kiss.
"I love you" He had told me and I believe him, I haven't believed I would love anyone after he left me.
Okay, I feel like I can maybe tell people, the truth, or most of it. I'm not the innocent Abnegation girl everyone thinks I am. I've always known I never truly belonged in Abnegation, I've stolen, drank, been reckless, and I've fallen in love. I've known I've always belonged in Dauntless and would be here today, but I needed everyone else to think I'm weak and don't belong. When in reality I could easily take first out of transfers and Dauntless Born. Most of you must think that I'm lying, but I'm not, I have done all of these things and more. I just don't know who I can trust. I'm scared that people will judge me for everything I've done. But even though I'm scared I need to tell someone, I'm just hoping that telling you won't be a mistake. It all happened a little less than 3 years ago when I met... I can't say his name without crying.
FLASHBACK
My name is Katrina Marie Printz I am 14 and I live in Abnegation. I live with my mother, father, and twin sisters April and June they are older than me and choose Abnegation. We all live a selfless life, well most of us, I don't. It's not that I don't want to, I've tried, believe me I have but I just can't be the girl everyone wants me to be. I've given up trying.
"I'm going for a walk." I say wondering if they notice I'm leaving. Whatever. With me I have a gray bag, with a sketch pad and some pencils I had found a few years back, that now I keep hidden.
I wonder where I'll end up this time, on the border of Amity by the lake, or by some of the abandoned buildings. Either or I'll end up alone drawing in the peace and quiet. That's why I think I'll get Amity when I take my aptitude test in two years. If I get anything other than Abnegation on my aptitude test it won't suprise me, I never really felt like this is home.
"What the Hell, watch where you're walking!" I hear someone say. I look up and see I ran into someone. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you hurt?" I ask being the normal Abnegation thing to do. I finally look up to see who I had ran into, and see a boy maybe a little older than me with gray clothes on. Now I'm confused because the Abnegation don't swear ever. Our eyes meet Icy Green eyes meeting dark blue. He looks familiar, then I realize this is him the boy that lives next door to me.
You're him." I say.
"Yeah, and you are…?" He asks not recognizing me we used to be close when we were younger but once his mom died I wasn't able to see him anymore.
"Katrina. Katrina Printz your neighbor, we used to hang out as kids or say hi occasionly because Abnegation children don't really play together."
"Oh my God, Katrina! Jesus you're what fourteen now!" He exclaims picking me up and spinning me around, making me dizzy. Damn, when did he get so strong? He puts me down only for a moment until I'm in his arms again. His arms go around me and I put mine around his neck. He pulls back and in that moment I want to kiss him so badly, but I fight my urges and eventually step back.
"Yeah," I say slightly blushing. "I'm fourteen so that makes you sixteen."
"No actually I'm fifteen but I turn sixteen in a few weeks. But, as much as I want to catch up would you like to come with me to a party latter?" He asks me. "A party an actual party?" I ask a little bit confused.
"Yeah after curfew we sneak out in one of the abandoned buildings not to far from here. It's just you, me and a few other kids from different factions, it's not that big like maybe fifteen of us well sixteen if you say yes. I swear it's fun, I know you'd have fun because you feel like you don't belong in Abnegation. We just hang out and some drink and smoke but you don't need to and we'll talk, and play games and just have fun." He says further convincing me to hang out with him.
"Alright, what time?" I ask. He smirks and says, "I knew you would say yes Katrina. I'll wait for you by the tree inbetween our houses, okay?" "Okay." I say smiling. "I should go." I say, not really wanting to leave. "Well, since I live right next door and since I'm going home as well I will walk with you." I smile as he takes my hand in his and we walk home.
*TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY DAUNTLESS CAKE*
Walking with him was so nice we caught up with each other and just talked about random things. I haven't had that much fun ever.
Once I got home my parents asked me who I was walking with while I was helping prepare dinner. Oh just the boy who lives next door." My mother says "Oh, thats nice," while my father just stays quiet.
Latter that night I grab one of my gray dresses and make it sleeveless, then wait for him to throw a rock at my window signaling he's out there. I wonder what it will be like I mean I've never been to a party with other teens. I definitely am going to try some alcohol I mean if I'm sneaking out I better make it worthwhile. That's when I see a rock hit my window, I dash across my room and open the window. "Ready Katy?" He asks me. "Yeah," I say and climb out the window it's not that far down so I jump ready for the sting of pain when my foot hits the ground but it never comes. I look around and realize that he caught me. "Thanks."I say jumping out of his arms.
We walk for maybe a little less than a mile, when he suddenly stops and takes my hand in his. I don't look at him afraid he'll see that I'm as red as a tomato.
"We're here." He says pointing to an abandoned building with a few flickering lights that you can only see if you're close enough. He leads me inside and I see a group of teens sitting on a old matress and couches here and there. "Would you like something to drink?" He asks me.
"Sure," I say feeling a little bit akward. We walk over to a fridge across the room, when a guy turns around and sees us and says. "Hey, look who's here and he brought a girl!"
"God, Zeke, it's not that big of a deal we're friends and I knew she would have fun so I invited her." He says. Then he turns to me and says, "I'm sorry about them . What do you want to drink?"
"Ummm, I'll have a beer." I say. He turns around , "Are you serious, I didn't think you would drink."
"Hell yeah I will, I finally get to have fun tonight no way I'm wasting this opportunity." I say smirking. He hands me a beer, grabs one for himself and leads me over to meet everyone. "This is Katrina." He says. They say hey, and we sit down. "Well what ever shall we do?" Asks a dauntless girl with pink hair. "Let's play some candor or dauntless." I suggest. Everyone agrees, and the pink haired dauntless comes over and sits down by me. "Hey, Katrina right, I'm Cassie."
"Hey," I say and take a sip of my drink , it's cold and tastes like amber.
"I'll start," says Zeke. "Katrina, Candor or Dauntless?"
"Candor." I say wanting to play it safe for a round. "Okay, why do you feel like you don't belong in Abnegation?"
Okay easy this is simple. I think. "Because I'm not selfless, I've been sneaking out for years, I lie, I hide things, and because I'm too much of an overall badass to stay in this faction." I say smirking.
"Damn, consider joining Dauntless in how old are you?" Another Dauntless asks? "Oh, I'm fourteen." I say.
He says, "So two years we'd be in the same initiation group, I'm Uriah, Zeke's younger but more attractive brother."
I learn that the kids from Erudite are Ellen, Zoe, and Nora and the four from candor are Levi, Camille,Brea, and Warner. Then Dauntless is Cassie, Zeke and Uriah.
"Okay, Ellen, Candor or Dauntless?"
"Dauntless," She says and I just smile. "Okay kiss whoever you like in the group." I say and she goes pink. "Okay." She says nervously and gets up and walks over to Uriah, leans down and gives him a butterfly kiss and runs back to her spot. Then she asks him who he likes. He goes frozen and takes his shirt off. "Wait, I'm confused why'd he take his shirt off?"
"Well if you don't want to do a truth or dare you have to take off an article of clothing." "Got it" I say.
About an hour later my jacket is off and all of the guys are shirtless except Zeke who took his pants off cause he wouldn't do the cinnamon challenge. And all of the girls have tank tops on.
"Let's do Karaoke" Cassie suggests. We all agree and some how I'm going first. Cassie asks me what song I want to do and I whisper it in her ear. She grins knowing it's the absolute perfect song for me.
I get on the "stage" which is basically an old coffee table and wait for the music to start. I see him looking at me and smile, God I really have a major crush on this boy.
Then I hear the music start.
You say that I'm messin' with your head
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
All 'cause I was making out with your friend
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Love hurts whether it's right or wrong
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
I can't stop, 'cause I'm having too much fun
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
You're on your knees, beggin' please "stay with me"
But honestly, I just need to be a little crazy
I jump off the table and start dancing loving the feeling of this being free.
All my life I've been good but now
Ooohhh
I'm thinking "What the hell?"
All I want is to mess around, and I don't really care about
If you love me, if you hate me
You can't save me, baby, baby
All my life I've been good but now whoa "What the hell?"
What, What, What, What the hell?
So what if I go out on a million dates?
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
You never call or listen to me anyway
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'd rather rage than sit around and wait all day
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Don't get me wrong, I just need some time to play
(Yeah)
You're on your knees, beggin' please "stay with me" (Va fan!)
But honestly, I just need to be a little crazy (Crazy!)
All my life I've been good but now
Ooohhh
I'm thinking "What the hell?"
All I want is to mess around, and I don't really care about
If you love me, if you hate me
You can't save me, baby, baby
All my life I've been good but now whoa "What the hell?"
La la la la la la la la whoa whoa [x2]
(La la la la la la la la)
You say that I'm messing with your head
Boy, I like messing in your bed
(La la la la la la la la)
Yeah, I am messing with your head
When I'm messing with you in bed
All my life I've been good but now
Ooohhh
I'm thinking "What the hell?"
All I want is to mess around, and I don't really care about
All my life I've been good but now
Suddenly I have this surge of confidence and walk up to him and he looks at me strangely, but then I reach my arms around his neck and kiss him. At first he's frozen in shock then kisses back only for a moment and then I'm gone running back to the table. Cassie gives me a thumbs up and cheers me on, while he looks at me in utter shock. But I keep singing.
Ooohhh
I'm thinking "What the hell?"
All I want is to mess around, and I don't really care about
If you love me, if you hate me
You can't save me, baby, baby
All my life I've been good but now whoa "What the hell?"
La, la,
La la la la la,
La,
La la la la la, la
I finish and hear cheering and clapping. I smile and jump off the table and am suddenly lifted up into pairs of hands and then am put down. I look at the clock and see its 3:30.
Someone taps my shoulder and I turn around and see it's him. "Since when have you liked me?" He asks. "Since forever." I say and smile. He gives me a quick kiss and says everyone's leaving. I frown and then realize this is going to happen a lot. Cassie tells me bye and then we leave.
We walk our hands intertwined the whole time. Then suddenly he stops and kisses me. We kiss for a while his hands by the small of my back and mine around his neck. I pull back and see we're both gasping for air. Then my mouth is on his again and my back is against a wall. I'm on my tiptoes now because I'm quite a bit shorter than him, and then the next thing I know my legs are around his waist. I gasp, and he uses the opportunity to put his tongue in my mouth. We stay like that for a while until he puts me down and kisses me lightly again and I realize we are back home.
"Goodnight." I say.
"Goodnight." He says and we go our separate ways.
Things stayed like that for quite sometime, we would sneak out and have fun, we were officially yet not publicly dating, everything seemed perfect until the day of his Choosing Day. Believe me I knew it would happen but once he was gone it hurt like hell. He promised me he'd wait for me and gave me a locket. Things were hard for me after that, but everyone who still hadn't chosen hung out. In the end it ended up being me and Uriah and Cassie. We'd drink, talk and just mess around. But, we never talked about him ever.
I didn't know if he would recognize me when I chose Dauntless well, I guess he didn't. Everyone thought I would stay in Abnegation, well were they wrong. I know Uriah and Cassie recognize me so does Zeke but I just haven't found the time to say hi and hang out. But I will. And wherever you are I still love you, my first love.
I haven't said his name since he left but since you're probably curious and since I'm telling you this much I'll tell you the his name. Though I'll never see him again.
Tobias Eaton.
OMG YEAH! WHAT DO YOU THINK LIKE SERIOSLY COMMENT FEEDBACK AND FOLLOW AND FAVORITE! UPDATE WILL BE NEXT WEEK IF NOT YOU ALL MAY HATE ME!- EMMA