"Humphrey," Blair said, breathlessly as she took in the sight. It had started lightly snowing since the last time she had saw him and he had flakes of white in his hair. "What are you doing here?"
Dan's eyes searched her face as he bounced slightly on his toes, "I just, I don't know. I thought it was a good idea when I stopped the bus and realized that this is probably a terrible, horrible, awful idea and yet I'm here."
Blair bit her lip as she leaned against the doorframe, crossing her arms for warmth, "Yeah, but that doesn't explain what you are doing here."
He laughed, "No, I guess it doesn't." Dan tried to crane his neck to see past her. "Is your husband home?" Blair shook her head in response and he continued, "Then can I come in? It's fucking freezing out here and I didn't grab gloves or anything warm besides my jacket before I came here instead of to Boston."
She nodded, still stunned from the sight of him and pushed herself against the wall so he could get by. "Yes, of course, sorry," she told him, closing the door. "Do you want something to drink? Eat? Do you want a blanket? Warm clothes?"
"I was just out there for a moment," he assured her, "I don't think I'm going to get frostbite but perhaps a drink? I need to get my nerves back."
Blair silently nodded before leading him to her living room and went back to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of red and another wine glass. "Here," she said, giving him the bottle and the glass before perching herself on the arm of a couch. "I hope that it's okay," she said, pointing to the wine. "I didn't want to go to the downstairs for any other option."
Dan held up the wine to the face and read the label, pretending he knew anything about wines and nodded. "Oh, no, this was a terrible year for Cabernet." Blair looked crestfallen and started to stand before Dan started to laugh. "I'm kidding, Blair. All wines taste the same to me besides if they are white or red."
"I have white upstairs, if you want that. I thought it was a bottle instead of a glass kind of night," Blair rambled on, starting to stand once again. Having Dan in her living room after what had happened only an hour before felt wrong and she was fidgeting and looking for any way out to collect her thoughts because she wasn't sure if what she felt was rage at the audacity of the move or pleasure that he was this desperate for her. Although, maybe, she thought, he was coming here to yell at her like she had in the street. Maybe this was a calling of revenge instead of love.
"Please sit, Blair," Dan said. "This is honestly fine. I'm not hard to please with alcohol."
Blair nodded, closing her mouth and perching once more on the arm of the couch. "Why are you here, Dan?" she asked, her voice soft, slightly louder than a whisper but definitely not at the level of normal conversation. "I thought I told you that I couldn't do… whatever that was."
"You did," he agreed, clasping his hands out in front of him and looking down. Dan wasn't sure he would be able to say what he wanted to if he was looking at her, like how he aimed his speech that night to the crowd and not to Blair. There was something about her that made him weak. He was, admittedly, good with words but all of them seemed to lose their meaning when he was in the presence of Blair. Was it love that did it or complete and utter stupidity? He wasn't sure. "And that's fine, but I just felt… I don't know, that we were unfinished."
Blair scrunched up her face, "If you mean that we didn't have sex, then I think you are going to leave completely disappointed.
"No," Dan started. "Not that, not the making out leading anywhere kind of unfinished. I just, I don't know how to describe it. I saw you last night and something that I didn't even know was dead inside of me roared to life. This," he looked down at his hands, "life has been crazy. I meet so many people, Blair, so many people, and I don't want to see most of them ever again."
"Are you comparing me to a one night stand, Humphrey?" she asked, eyebrows raised as she lifted her glass. "Am I supposed to be lucky for you not wanting me to be a one night stand?'
"Blair, that's not it," he argued, his voice slightly raising as he tried to vocalize what he felt. "It's going to sound so corny and fake but I feel this magnetic pull when I'm around you to you. Maybe you feel it with Chuck, I don't know, but it's as if I found something that I want to stick to. I meet so many people, and I don't mean it as I sleep with so many people because I genuinely mean that I just meet all these different people. It's part of the job. But there's not anyone that I've met in the last ten years that I felt like I was missing something when I didn't see them again. But I feel that I'm missing something without you. Like theres a hole in my soul somewhere that gets plugged when you're around." Dan took a deep breath and raised his eyes from his hands to her face. He scanned her face for any recognition of what he was saying and when he saw none, he stood. "Look, it's probably this one sided thing. I get it, you're married and you're willing to work on that to stay married… I just felt I couldn't leave New York without trying to amend how we ended it on the street."
Blair was silent, trying to soak in all of his words like a sponge.
"I'll see myself out," Dan said, setting his glass down on the table and raising his arms like he was a criminal and she was the cop. "Forgive me, Blair, for all of this. For the mess I just made. I don't know what I was thinking coming here."
As he walked out of the room, Blair snapped out of the trance she was just in. "Humphrey," she called, putting her glass down on the table and practically running out of the room. She saw him, mid reach towards her front door, and he turned to her. "Humphrey… Dan, I mean. I-" she stopped, looking at the ceiling, trying to reach for words. "I know that feeling you just described," she finally got to as he started to take strides to her. "I don't think I knew before tonight, but," she stopped as Dan paused inches away from her. She lowered her voice and looked to the side, "I think there are things missing from my life and tonight, tonight just proved it further, I guess." For someone who writes as a living, she was no good at voicing her thoughts. She wish she could pause the situation, go to her office, write a few drafts and come back when she memorized the finished product. "I felt like my soul got lighter tonight. I felt that hole you described shrinking."
Dan placed his hand on the side of her face and turned her head so they were looking at each other. "Blair, you were right before. I am in love with 20 year old you, 20 year old stubborn you who made me watch the same movies over and over again while on the phone with each other, but the woman that I'm looking at doesn't look or seem much different than that girl."
"You still don't know me, Dan," she said, a slight whine was laced in her words.
"So let me get to know you, Blair," he said, his fingers dancing on the fabric of her pajamas on her back. "I'm not saying leave Chuck for me right now, but let me try. Give me a fighting shot before rejecting whatever this could be."
Blair nodded, "What if it's not you that needs to do the fighting, Dan? I don't think I deserve whatever this could be."
Dan wrinkled his nose and she mimicked the motion. "Don't say that. You deserve the world, Waldorf. I don't think I can deliver it to your doorstep but I could definitely get you at least a little bit of Australia."
She laughed, pressing her body against his. "Are you sure you meant to knock on my door and not Serena's?"
"Damn, you are completely right. How did I miss that you weren't her? I need to go," he joked, starting to pull away. "This was just the rehearsal."
Blair rolled her eyes, tugging at his sleeve to pull him back to her. "She can wait."
"She can," he agreed, letting his fingers move from her cheek to her chin and raising her face to his so he could kiss her. The kiss was less manic than the one they shared outside the venue but it carried the same amount of passion and lust as before.
Blair pulled away, "I can't do this." She looked at him, his face scrunched up and confused. "I mean the this part of whatever we are doing. I can't be the physical cheater that Chuck is. I need at least that to carry over his head."
Dan nodded, "I don't really understand or get it, but okay. We don't have to do anything, Blair," he said, nuzzling his forehead into the crook of her shoulder. "But is this okay?"
She pressed her face against his head, "Yes," she murmured into his hair. "I think this is okay."
Blair heard the shade on her bedroom window snap open and she opened her eyes quickly, taking in the sight of her husband standing in the doorway of her, no their, bedroom.
"Blair, what is Dan Humphrey doing on our couch?"