"He's my new secretary," Blair said, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Isn't he just gorgeous?" Chuck looked as though he wanted to break something and before that desire turned physical, Blair started to speak again. "I'm just joking," she said, emphasizing the last word. "He was my unwilling interview subject last night for a piece that Vanity Fair commissioned. It got late and his bus had already left, so he stayed over. It's not a big deal."

Blair was surprised how easily the lies were rolling off her tongue. She had been a master of lies and truth spinning in high school and it looked like those skills were not lost.

"How was your night?" she asked, sitting up in her bed and hanging her feet over the side. "Productive? You look super tired. Maybe you should get some rest."

Chuck opened his mouth to speak and closed it again. He walked over to her, sitting on the bed, and rested his forehead on her shoulder. It took all she had to not recoil at the touch. Now that she knew what it looked like for someone to love you for ten years, the motions her and Chuck went through recently all seemed extra fake and put on. "You're going to kill me," he said, mumbling the words into her arm.

"I'm sure I won't go that fair," she said, putting her hand on the back of his head. "If I haven't murdered you yet, I don't think it's going to happen."

"I have to go to London for a week," he said, bringing his head off her shoulder and looking at her. "Something came up with the expansion into London and it needs my immediate attention."

"What do you mean? Immediate attention? How immediate?" Blair looked at him, searching his face for a sign that he was kidding.

Chuck sighed, nestling his head into the crook of her neck. He kissed her skin, bringing his lips from the collar bone to her jaw before pulling away. "As in today. I need to pack and then I need to leave."

"Are you lying, Chuck?" she asked, pulling away. "Who's going on this trip?"

"I'm not lying. We got the call urgently this morning that I needed to be there for the deal to go through."

"Then why do you need to be there a week?"

"Just in case, Blair," Chuck said. "If anything goes wrong, I don't want to have to pay for the change fee for a new ticket home."

She narrowed her eyes. "Who is going?"

"Just a few people. Only the essentials."

"Essentials? Who?"

"Martin, Crowley, and Tanya."

Blair stood, disgusted that she let him even touch her after an obvious night with the secretary and now she was positive that he was making a work trip into a mini break for him and his lover. "Why don't I come with you?"

Chuck looked down, "Blair. It's for work. It would be boring for you."

"Oh, I'm sure I can find things to do in London, Chuck. I could go shopping, maybe see some shows."

"I don't want to be distracted," he countered.

Blair rolled her eyes, "And tell me again, how is your secretary an essential?"

"Well, I need her to tell me when the meetings are," he said, tugging at the collar of his shirt. He was getting nervous. They never got this far into saying the truth of the matters and the pair of them were both on edge about it. They liked to dance around the subject, tip toe around what Chuck was really doing half of the time he had a late night in the office. Blair thought that he could have gotten around her finding out since he did have a lot of actual late nights in the office but keeping the affair behind closed doors just wasn't good enough for him. He and Tanya, the secretary, had been spotted out having dinner and strolls in the park, hand in hand. Blair was glad Gossip Girl wasn't around anymore to put her marriage on blast.

She nodded, slowly. "Yes, that sounds completely essential. It's not like there are phones or computers to tell you when to have your meeting." Blair was talking slowly, emphasizing every word as she did when she got into a rage. "Explain to me, Chuck, how neither Martin nor Crowley need their secretaries. Is Tanya doing all three of you? I mean, doing the work for all three of you." She cocked her head to the side and smiled at him, "You know, I bet I could manage your schedule."

Chuck stood, putting his hands out to her and she dodged them. "Blair, be reasonable."

"Reasonable?" she said, her voice getting louder. "Don't you think I've been reasonable enough, Chuck?"

"Blair, we have guests," he said, reaching out to her again and she swatted his hand away. "Maybe we can discuss this later."

Blair scoffed. "Later? What later, Chuck? You're leaving for London. Do you want me to stew on this for a week? And I don't give a fuck if Dan can hear us. He already knows, Chuck. Everyone in this fucking city knows."

"Knows what?" Chuck asked, challenging her to say the words. A part of her was wondering if he wanted her to say them to relieve himself of some guilt that he felt, so it would be out in the open. She wouldn't give him that satisfaction.

"That you are a mother fucking prick."

Chuck nodded, stepping back from her. "I don't know what has gotten into you, Blair. I need to get ready though and, unfortunately, can not continue this silly argument."

Chuck turned his back to her and Blair lunged for the closest pillow and hurled it as his head. "Don't turn your back on me, Chuck Bass. I'm Blair fucking Waldorf and I'm not going to be treated by you as some common whore. I'm your wife." Blair spun the ring around her finger before removing it.

Blair placed her ring on the bedside table before Chuck grabbed her wrist, "Put that back on, Blair." His voice was low, threatening. "Don't make me look like a fool in front of Dan Humphrey."

"What's one person when you made me look like a fool in front of the entire city," Blair spat back, twisting her wrist out of his grip. "I'm sure Tanya has some clothes for you, Chuck. I think you should go."

Chuck walked backwards. "This isn't us, Blair," he said, his voice low and pleading now.

"I'm not sure what us really is anymore, Chuck," she said, her voice lowering. "I think you should leave and when you come back from London, maybe we should discuss some things."

"Like what?"

"Like this. Our marriage. If we should be married."

Chuck looked stunned and hurt. "What are you saying? Do you want a divorce?"

Blair bit her lip, "I- I don't know, Chuck."

He stepped towards her, reaching for her arm but this time his grip was gentle. "Blair, I love you. You know that, right?"

"I know," she nodded, "but what if it isn't enough?"

Blair heard a small knock on her door and she jumped, covering her heart from the scare. She had forgotten Humphrey was even there. Chuck had left swiftly after their argument, grabbing only a couple of things from his closet, and she had spent the rest of the time silently crying in her bed. "Come in," she said, sniffling.

"Blair, I need- Are you okay?" he asked, his face scrunched up in confusion. Blair took it that he slept through the fight. Dan walked towards the bed, and Blair moved her legs so that he could sit.

Blair wiped away a stray tear as she looked at him, "I don't know what I'm doing." She started to sniffle loudly again and Dan wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest. "I don't know what this is, I don't know what my marriage is… it's just so much."

Dan ran his hand over her head and through her hair. "Hey," he said, soothingly, "hey, it's okay." Dan pressed his chin on her head and ran his other hand over her back. "It's okay, Blair."

Blair sniffled against his shirt, "I'm sorry, Dan. I just… Chuck came home and just left for a week long trip in London with his mistress and I don't even know why I care."

"Because you love him," Dan responded softly.

"I wish I didn't sometimes, Dan," she said, looking up at him and pulling away. She felt guilty, not, for laying out her problems with someone that she had, just the night before, been talking about potentially letting whatever was between them come to the surface. "I wish it was easier, that I could tell him to go fuck off and ask for a divorce."

Dan shook his head, "You don't have to explain it to me, Blair."

Blair fell back on her pillows, "I'm pathetic."

"No you're not," he said, standing. "You have a heart and sometimes this is what happens."

"Do you hate me?"

"I could never," he said, sadness seeping into his voice. He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead, "Be well, Blair. I need to go. I booked an Amtrak to Boston last night."

Blair nodded, "I wish you could stay."

Dan shook his head, "It's probably better that I'm leaving. Gives you time to clear your head."

Dan turned to walk out of the room before Blair called out his name again. "Be in touch, okay? I still think I want a little piece of Australia you promised me."

"I'll let you take the reigns, Blair," he told her. "I don't want to mess anything up."

Blair sat there feeling sorry for herself for a little while before forcing herself to snap out of it. Fuck Chuck Bass, she told herself. If he could parade the world with his mistress, then why should she care about propriety? She grabbed her phone and sent a text to Dan.

"How's the train? As comfortable as my couch?"

"Ah, Blair Waldorf. Full of surprises. I was thinking it would be another ten years until I spoke with you."

"Besides Boston, what are your shows this week? I could use a little vacation."