Blair stood in her closet a few days later, trying to decide what to pack for her quick trip to Connecticut to see Dan as he was playing at Mohegan Sun, when she heard a noise in her bedroom. She turned sharply and her toe got stuck in a strap of a shoe in the closet and she fell to the floor. "Ow," she complained, as she saw feet walk towards her. Blair looked up, "What are you doing home, Chuck?"

Chuck looked horrible, to tell the truth, and he looked down at her and extended his arm out to help her up. "I needed to be with you," Chuck said, pulling her up to her feet. Blair rubbed at her knees instead of looking at him. "I couldn't stop thinking about you when I was over there. I felt like I was losing you, I don't want to lose you."

Blair looked up him, genuinely surprised at the level of emotion in Chuck's face. "What about your business trip?"

"It ended quicker than I thought it would have," he said, and she could tell he was lying. It ended right on time, he had just decided to forgo the extracurriculars he had previously planned. "And all I could think of was how I wanted to go home to my wife and profess how sorry I am for everything I've done."

"And what," she challenged him, "exactly have you done?"

"I haven't been a good husband," Chuck said, looking down. "I broke the vow to stay loyal to you and I feel like a complete and utter idiot about it."

Blair wasn't sure what she thought she was going to feel when Chuck finally admitted his affair to her. Relief? Pain? Instead she just felt anger, mostly by the way he flippantly added the part about feeling like an idiot. He didn't get to feel like an idiot, only she did. He had made the conscious choice and he should be owning it. "With who?" she said, narrowing her eyes and stepping away from him. "How many people?"

"Just one… with Tanya," Chuck said and then seemed to be thinking. "And, okay, if we're putting it all out there there have been a few here and there over the years but they meant nothing, Blair. No one compares to you."

Blair nodded, turning back to the clothes in her closet. "You should have stayed in London, Chuck. I have plans in Connecticut."

"What could you possibly be doing in Connecticut?"

"I'm going to go see Humphrey's band. Serena is coming with me."

"So you did fuck him the other day," Chuck said and Blair knew it wasn't a question but an accusation.

She whipped around and raised her finger to him, digging it into his chest, "You don't get to say that, Chuck Bass. You don't get to accuse me of things after you just admitted to sleeping around on me. But, for the record, I didn't sleep with him. I wanted to, but I didn't. I have too much respect for the sanctity of marriage to fuck people while still married to you."

"Then you're going there to fuck him?" he responded, his voice getting louder. "Revenge sex, Blair? I thought we were over these games and I thought you had better taste than Dan Humphrey. If you want to get revenge, at least choose someone in the same atmosphere of me."

Blair laughed, "You are incredible, Chuck. You come in here like a sad little boy professing you love me and how you messed up and you change so quickly." She snapped to show her point, "You wear so many masks. I don't even know who you are anymore. Do you know who you are?"

"I'm your husband," he responded.

"Were. I'm having my lawyers draft the papers now for divorce. Irreconcilable differences."

"Over Dan Humphrey?" Chuck said, laughing cruelly. "Pathetic. You think he can make you happy, Blair?"

"No, Chuck. This isn't about Dan, how many times do I have to say that for you to get it. This is about us. I'm not happy with you anymore, Chuck. You don't make me happy. I don't know if Dan can but it certainly can't be worse than this stalemate that we've been living in and calling our marriage." Blair turned from him as she found a shirt she wanted and started to fold it, dropping it into her suitcase. "Chuck," she said, her voice softening, "neither of us are happy. You can admit it. You go and seek other people to have sex with and I let it happen, hoping you would grow out of it. You never did. You always need something new and I'm never going to be enough for you."

Chuck reached out for her and Blair, surprising herself, let herself be pulled to him. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head and Blair let out a heavy sigh into his chest. "You're enough for me," he protested. "I promise you you're enough. It's me. I'm just fucked up in the head."

Blair wrapped her arms around his body. She still loved him and expected that she would always, in a way, love him. "I know, Chuck, but I can't be on the sideline of my own life anymore. I need to put my happiness first and it's been a long time coming."

"We can do therapy," he said, his voice straining at the thought. "We can work on this."

"I don't want to," she admitted. "It's too much, Chuck. It's too much pain that I'll never be able to get over. I can't trust you anymore, do you get that? You ruined the foundation and now the house can't stand."

"I love you, Blair," he said, and Blair was certain she felt a tear, not her own, fall on to her cheek.

"I know, Chuck. I know you do. It's just not good enough to love someone if you can't treat them with love and respect."

"So you and Dan?" Serena said, looking from the road briefly at Blair who was sitting in the passenger seat of Serena's car. The only reason Blair had agreed to go to the show with Serena was because of the car.

"It's not like that," Blair protested. "I mean there's something, but I can't really be with anyone right now. I need to be by myself."

"So why are you going to the show?"

"To tell him that," she replied, looking out the window. "And because I enjoy the music and need to get out of my apartment. I can't be around Chuck when he's crying, it makes me too sad."

"He's crying?" Serena asked.

Blair nodded, "I mean, I've cried too about it but I guess I've come to terms that our marriage was beyond repair a long time ago. I don't think Chuck saw it that way until I said I was drafting the divorce papers. I think he thought I would always be there."

"I didn't see you two getting divorced."

"Yeah, well, I didn't see myself getting divorced either but I can't be the wife that turns a blind eye to her husband's constant infidelity. I want to be happy. I'm sick of being miserable."

"Well, good for you," Serena said, reaching over and patting Blair's hand. "And good choice of rebound with Dan. You know he's crazy about you, right?"

"How do you know that?" Blair turned her head from the window to Serena.

Serena shrugged, turning the music slightly up, "Do you think I thought all these songs were about me, B? If they were, I'd be fucking Dan and not the drummer." Blair laughed and once she did, Serena started laughing with her. "Don't rush it, B. Give yourself time to heal before jumping into anything with Dan. He's a sensitive soul," she said, putting her hand over her chest and giggling.

"Thanks, I didn't realize you were an expert on relationships."

"Well, I'm the one who has yet to be divorced," Serena said, raising her sunglasses to look at Blair. "Teasing, I'm teasing."

Blair glared at her before conceding, "Fine, you got me there. Besides, Dan's on the road almost for the next three months with the tour… so maybe I'll be healed after that." Blairs phone vibrated and she started to text back rapidly whoever was texting her.

"Ooooh," Serena teased. "Who's that? Loverboy?"

"Chuck," Blair responded curtly.

"Oh, not as fun."

"Definitely not as fun."