Disclaimer: Dis claimer ryte hurr dont own nutin but a house fulla gurls.

Just kidding lol forever alone. Oh, I don't Shake It Up, either.

I kind of lost count of what day it is. What year it is. Probably who I am, even. I might possibly be going mad, because last night, the unreal happened. I, Raquel Blue was hugged by Cecelia Jones. I was. Me.

I had to check that I hadn't really walked off a cliff and was dead the whole time because I just can't believe that she hugged me.

I almost broke my glasses when my face hit the ground.

"Ah, my favorite student and my most...unique student. Cecelia, grades are closing for this semester soon, and if you don't pull up at leaat four out those seven grades, you are undoubtedly going to fail this quarter."

We sit in Principle Walloch's leather-clad office, and I can feel the shock that radiates of off CeCe. She gives a bitter laughs and eyes the beautiful woman behind the desk. "Are you trolling me, Jennifer?"

Principle Walloch laughs and gives a smug look to the firey redhead. "On the contrary, I am not trolling you, Cecelia-"

I see the dent that CeCe's claw of a nail slices into the leather texture and she growls,"CeCe." Principle Walloch only raises her eyebrows in challenge as CeCe grunts and collapses back into the chair with a pout. The brunette's face softens as she smiles at me, and oh, there go my underwear. "As for you, Raquel, despite what you told me yesterday, I don't want to give up on CeCe just yet. I know and you know she's capable of so many extraordinary things, but she has yet to get past that ego of hers."

The redhead scoffs. "I'm right here!"

"Anyway, I can't let you walk out on CeCe. I see where you and her are, on terms of sociality." CeCe snorts and chuckles,"Yeah, I'm hot and she's not." The principle narrows her eyes at CeCe and continues,"And I don't want that to be the barrier between you two."

She stands up and stares at CeCe with a look of pity. "Cecelia, for as long as I can remember, you have been the light of the school. You've been able to do what you want, whenever you please, of course, with detention in tow. But that has to change right now, or I promise you, you won't be seeing any of these friends next year. You can't let popularity mess with your head, or it'll all come crashing down and drag you with it. All the attention, the boyfriends, the parties, where will it take you? How is that going to help the next day?"

CeCe keeps her eyes trained low, anywhere that isn't Principle Walloch's face while I twiddle with my fingers, uncomfortable in the dense conversation. "Now, I expect a full essay on my desk tomorrow on what you want your future to be and how you expect to get there, and I expect Raquel to tell me actually showed up to your tutoring, too."

I feel CeCe's eyes burn into the side of my face. I can't bare to meet those dark, warning orbs of brown with my weak gaze. And she grabs her golden purse and says nothing and walk out the office.

Principle Walloch sighs and settles back into her seat. "Good luck, Raquel."

I nod, and mutter,"Thank you," before grabbing my binder and awkwardly shuffle out the room and into the crowded hallway. As an instinct, my eyes immediately catch blaring red-hair of CeCe, as she talking with a large group of boys an girls. Two girls keep asking CeCe questions, and I see CeCe nod and smile; It's a fake smile.

I see the tight-lipped one she gives two the brunette girl as she nods again, and the group begin to drag CeCe away. And for a moment, I swear I see a glint of regret in her eye.

XxX

"CeCe's pissed. That talk the principle gave her musta' been serious, huh?" I nod as Dina and I make our way to my front door. I sigh,"She said that CeCe might as well just give up on her amazing life if she doesn't bring her grades up."

"Well, CeCe really isn't the brightest girl in school. That's you."

I blush and push my glasses atop my nose. Most people mock me for my smarts, never once have I gotten a compliment for them. "Uh, thanks."

"Wait, you live here?" Dina eyes my home as we enter it. "CeCe must live right above you then?..."

"Yeah. She lives right up there." She just said that, why'd I say it again? God, I'm such a derp!

Dina perches herself on the arm of my sofa and stares at the fire escape. "Dante Dragovich is throwin' a party tonight. While this is a great opportunity for me to go sell my new and improved condoms, since Jenny Wakersni is expecting in a few months, I'm stayin' with Deuce to study and recount this week's sellings. But I know that CeCe is most likely gonna show up to that party after she's done with you."

And before I know it, CeCe is popping through the window. "I'm here, Rocky. Let's get this over with..." Her sentence dies as the sees the freckled-face brunette sitting in my living room. "Dina? Why are you here? With her?"

"I'm havin' a conversation, CeCe." Oh no, no, don't argue, my hands get clammy.

"But- When did you start talking to her? Like... Why?"

"She's my friend, CeCe. Maybe if ya started actually talkin' to her like she's a human instead of a puppy then you'd actually get to know her better. And... who's... Rocky?" My hair might as well be on fire because the rest of my body is blushing so hard as Dina turns to me and begins to grin. "Ohhh, alright. I'll see you two later. Bye CeCe, bye Rocky." I can hear Dina's laughter as she shuts the door, and now all I can feel is CeCe's eyes on me.

"God, why does everyone want to shit on my day? Nevermind, let's just do this essay-thing so I can get it over with."

"Okay, uh-"

"Hissss." Oh no, Tiffany. CeCe scoffs,"Oh hells nah, take your cat back to it's cage. I don't wan't it anywhere near me." Oh dear, Tiffany.

"Tiffany, go back to my room, I'll only be a here while." Tiffany turns on her paw, neatly whips her tail straight onto CeCe's arm, and saunters back into the hallway. "Er, let's get started."

As usual, CeCe has no motivation whatsoever. But I can't really do anything about it, due to the fact that she looks so beautiful and I can't really breathe or make my heart work properly when I'm around her. I clear my throat and push up my glasses. "So, let's do the essay first, then we'll start studying."

"Whatever," she drawls out. She pulls out a pink pencil and a piece of paper from her tote bag and eyes the paper. She prints her name and the date in the right hand corner-

"Could you, like, leave? I hate when people are watching me."

"Um, okay. Yeah. I'll go in the... kitchen." I find it very hard to believe that CeCe doesn't like when people watch her, because the fact that everyone watches her at school and basks in her her presence still firmly stands. I sit at the dinner table but continue my silent watch through the bar.

Every now and then, I'd see her quickly glance at me, and then she'd rapidly erase something and scribble it back down.

She's so stunning. I would give my everything to simply be in the presence of her and not faint, maybe even make her smile at me. I would die to have her love me; I'd dig my grave, engrave on the tombstone and everything, just to have her love me. And if we were together; I'd most likely start failing school, not only because she blinds my abilities to process as a normal human being, but because she likes skipping class. I've heard Ty tell many stories about him and CeCe heading to the beach, and the rest is unknown. How would I handle being alone with her? How could I resisting saying 'No' to her? And the opportunity to feel her baby-skin, to madly press against her while it's most unexpected? I can't. I couldn't. I never will.

"Rocky!" Go, run, go, she's calling me! I sprint out the kitchen and compose myself as I near her. "Yes?"

"Is this... Is this spelled right?" She points to a word on her paper. "Pedobear?" I mouth.

Wait, why is that even relevant to her future? And what's a... Pedo-bear? "Actually, your 'b' is backwards." She sighs,"Thanks." I nod and scatter back to the kitchen table.

Over a course of minutes, I see that she bites her bottom lip when she's often stumped. It's really fascinating, actually. And as I watch her more, for the first time, I see her; Not the snob, not the swearing-sailor, but her. The gentle, pacific redhead.

"Done!"

I walk over to as she shoves the paper into my hand. "I can't wait to go Dante's par-tay! Are you going?" She asks, pointing to me. And naturally, I stutter.

"I- Uh, I- It's a school night, so-"

"What am I saying, of course you didn't get invited, paha!" Heh, that didn't hurt at all.

I think CeCe sees my temporary sadness, because the next thing that comes out of her mouth is unexpected and very unusual. "I mean, Ty has an Xbox, right? Maybe I'll come and play some Black Ops with you. Maybe, I don't know."

Where'd my voice go? "I gotta go and get fabulous, so later." My jaw is most likely to dislocate if I keep my mouth open any longer, but I can't help it. Is CeCe Jones actually giving away her precious time to dedicate some to me?

But then again, words are just words, they don't have to mean anything.

It's exactly 11:52 PM, and I'm nearly asleep. Tiffany is curled up against my arm, and I'm about to close my eyes, when I hear the softest knock at my door.

Aw shit, I can't get up. I shouldn't have read Fifty Shades Of Grey all day, it's so friggin' overwhelmingly sexual. My feet slide across the floor and shit, I'm too tired to even think right now. As soon as I get to the the door, I wonder who the fuck is knocking at my door at this time of night, on a school night. Like, dude, are you having your first time and you don't have any condoms? Or did you get you balls stuck in a blender or something?

... Wow, that was... different.

I crack the door open and dear Lord, it's CeCe. I'm awake now.

"Heya, Rocky. Rocky-road, Rockafella, Rockin-In-Bed, I'm, uh... I wanna- I wanna come in you."

What? WHAT?

I gulp,"Pardon me?"

"I mean, I wanna come in you're house. You're so silly, thinking I wanna sex you down like Chris Brown." It's apparent that CeCe is very, very drunk, as her usual brown orbs have become doe-eyed and her hair is everywhere and there's various stains and bloshes on her outfit. As CeCe takes one step towards me, I see her body do a short tremor and then I'm catching her in my arms. The smell of a strong alcohol floods my nose, and CeCe is stammering disjointed words. Throughout CeCe's mumbles, I hear her say,"Can I take a bath?"

While I would strongly recommend this, I don't want CeCe to accidently drown herself and I'm arrested because I'm the only one around. Although, I could check on her once or twice...

No. That's wrong. That's an invasion of her privacy.

But then I'd get a chance to see her... bare.

No, that's so wrong. I'm so gross and pervy and stalkery and I shouldn't even be thinking of seeing CeCe like that.

Fuck, I'm blushing so hard. CeCe's body is just so warm. As we make it to my room, as I've been practically dragging her, I settle CeCe at the foot of my bed. Tiffany has scampered away somewhere, most likely due to CeCe's presence, but I enjoy the silence. She's so calm at the moment, and it makes me wonder more why she's come to my house and not gone home. "Rocky?"

"Yes, CeCe?"

I swear I hear her giggle when she says,"I'm gonna barf."

"Oh dear, um, come to the bathroom." As much as I love CeCe, the bacteria in vomit is uncountable and I just can't handle the fact of it being on my bed... Okay I probably would handle the fact very well just because it's CeCe but still, no germs.

I grab her by the wrist and speed-walk her to my bathroom, where I lift the toilet seat up and let her kneel over the bowl. I don't even realize I'm holding my breath until I can feel my lungs tightening and I shakily exhale. "Are you feeling okay?" She's kneeling over the toilet with her red hair flooding down her face, which I should put up, but she slowly brings her head back up. She looks at me with the most innocent gaze, and shakes her head.

"No, I'm not. I need... I need a bath, I feel like I went swimming in scum. And you what scum is made of? Cu-"

"How about we get you cleaned up and th-then we c-can go to sleep, I guess." My stutters begin as my dirty thoughts reappear. CeCe's outfit already looks very uncomfortable, all tight, dark jeans and a shirt that hugs her body in all the right places; but she smells strongly of a combination of vodka, sweat, and perfume, and I can't let her stay like this, filthy and sticky. "You can go take a shower first, and I'll get you some extra clothes." She nods and I exit the room, looking for the pajamas that she had cut up days ago, during her first sleepover with me. That night has yet to be forgotten.

It's not really a task for me to find CeCe's shorts since they're right on top of my dresser, and then I get out a tank top that undoubtedly is too big for her, but hey, that only means a better view for me. Zing.

CeCe successfully bathes without drowning, although I do panic a few times when I mistake her singing for yelping. And now she's stepping out my bathroom in a towel, still very doe-eyed and giggly- Fuck. She's only in a towel.

Holy parallel angles, she's only in a towel. I'm dead, I'm so dead, I'm not breathing. If her drunken state lets her hand slip from holding the towel around her seething, damp body, she will be exposed and I will die. My bronchi should be shriveled up by now and I should a dead, rotting corpse. My hand flies over her glasses and I hold the clothes out in her direction. "Here's, your c-clothes." I don't even realize she's reaching for the clothes until I feel her fingers graze mine and I feel my knees tremor and my nerves short out, and she whispers,"Thanks."

I love you.

It takes a while for her get the clothes on correctly, having come out the bathroom with something backward or on the wrong body part several times. CeCe stumbles towards my bed and collapses on top the covers, and because I don't wanna disturb her, I awkwardly lay on top them top too. They lamp is turned off, and I lay with my hands on my stomach, and my body a respective distance away from CeCe.

Why do I hear sniffling? It isn't that cold and lonely in my room... Wait, it's CeCe. Is she... crying?

I turn my head and notice the soft jerks of her body with each sob. "Are you okay?" I see the shift of her head from side to side, and continues her sniffling. She croaks,"I- I want to be different."

I lean up on my elbow, and I'm tempted to reach out and rinse my fingers through her hair that's cascading on my pillow. I whisper back,"How so?"

"What Miss Walloch said; I didn't really care about it. And when I went to Dante's party, everything started... hitting me." My heart begins a slow pang at CeCe's words as I listen on."I was making out with so many boys, some I barely even knew or just didn't know at all, and I was dancing and these guys kept giving me this weird-flavored beer, and this everything just kept repeating itself. Then I made out with that guy from chemistry, Bob, I don't know. He had taken me up to one of the empty rooms, and we were just kissing and taking clothes off, but then I told him to stop." She's stopped sniffling by now, but I can still hear the melancholy slice through her voice. Her body flips to where she's on her back I can see the little glimmers dried up tears have made on her skin.

"Everything just hit me in the face when I realized what I was doing, and I felt so... disturbed. Like, half of the guys I made out with have girlfriends, and- and I didn't care. I felt dirty... and I just wanted to cry until I could cry anymore. I know I'm so popular, and I'm the queen of the school, and people think I'm a goddess, but after I think about all that, I realize, I'm so..." She pauses and I only just hear her rasp,"Lonely."

I don't know it's possible, but through the moonlight, I can see the shattered insides of her. She's so isolated from anybody to love, and it destroys me knowing that if I tried doing something about it, it wouldn't be right. My eyes go back to staring into darkness, and I'm just pondering at what to do next. My question is answered as I feel her pressing closer to me. And for the first time in my life, I don't have to the urge to hide in a corner and weep, or hyperventilate, or even faint.

I'm momentarily depressed because I know that this is partially the alcohol's affect, but I mind that CeCe is nudging closer into my side, and all sad thoughts are easily forgotten.

As soon as she's close enough, I round a hesitant arm over shoulder. Her body is so frigid yet burning when my arm reaches it, and I'm surprised at my intimate gesture, but I only know of the best when it comes to CeCe. We're pressed close together, and I feel a bit better knowing that she can feel a bit better too. When she's shifting, I think it's to get closer, and in way, she does, and in another, she murders me.

The strong, familiar smell of Everclear surrounds my nose, and then I feel soft lips of CeCe Jones' on mines.

... Oh... My... God...

My first instinct is to scream, but I hold that down, as I realize CeCe Jones is kissing me.

CeCe Jones. Is kissing me? CeCe Jones is kissing me. Raquel Blue. CeCe is kissing Rocky. Has reality decided that this sentence should be genuine? Never has one day went by where I haven't day-dreamed hours and hours on about this, picking flowers off the ground and plucking petals, murmuring,'She loves me, she loves me not', doodling awkwardly shaped hearts around the portmanteau of our name; but now my dream, now it's happening.

The many tales I've heard from school are now useless to me; CeCe kisses like a soft, delicate angel, not the opposite, wild side I've always seemed to hear of. I'm like a rock against her cotton-candy movements, still trying to relieve the shock that's paralyzed me from head to toe. Despite this being my first time ever, my first kiss ever, I push all my heart into it. And then I'm doing it right; I'm kissing her, with my lips glissading every inch of hers, trying to capture every moment I can before my body begins it's mental breakdown.

But when I feel her hand slide onto my neck, something in me cringes. It brings me to pull back and gaze into misty, dilated eyes. I sit up and watch her slowly register my absence, her tongue flicking out to wet her lips. "Where'd... you go?" You're beautiful and I want to marry you, but I just can't.

I can't do this to CeCe. Not when she won't remember anything the next morning, and she's obviously so drunken now that if I hadn't stopped I'd probably be naked right now. As much as I was loving this, my body was telling me this was so right in every way, but my mind was telling me it was wrong, and I was too far. Thank goodness CeCe won't remember a thing tomorrow morning, thanks to Everclear liquor, or I might as well commit suicide now.

"CeCe, I- You need sleep." She smiles at me and reaches up to let her fingers droop through my hair. She mumbles,"But I was having fun. And I was feeling better. You make me feel better." I open my mouth to respond, but as usual, nothing comes out, so instead I slip under the covers with my back turned to her and my respective distance welcomed back. Moments later, I hear little snores, and I take it she's asleep.

That was so amazing, but it felt wrong. Like, I was using her, I was taking advantage of her. I rather stay in the shadows and watch her hips sway in the hallways any day than kiss her while she's drunk. But something is telling me this is wrong her part too; that she used me for her own personal use, like a brand-new toy. And then all the crooked, messed-up pieces fall into place; I was used.

I should be mad, I should be offended, I should be kicking her out of my bed and telling her to get out my house, but I'm not, and I won't. Someday, I'll kiss her without the consent of alcohol and it'll be the best kiss ever.

I can only hope that this won't happen again, and that I won't become a blanket of security, when I want to become the love of her life.

And when I wake up the next morning, she's still right next to me, and I feel a little bit better, yet even worse.

This is the start of something very, very, very bad. Who's to blame in the situation? Tell me in a review, because I DON'T REALLY KNOW.

(For those of you who are wondering, a portmanteau is the merging of two names, into one name. I.E., Spashley, Brittana, Faberry, Cori, ReCe, ReCe, ReCe and also Zendella HA YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA SAY RECE AGAIN WELL I was but I stopped and quit yelling at yourself) I love writing Dina :D She's just so exciting to do, I don't know why. Maybe because I've never been exposed to people with different accents and fancy jackets that carry headphones and Twinkies around in them.

I should sleep. Yeah, I'm gonna do that.

Please review because my fingers are dead. And you reviews are like... Medicine. Symbalta.

Just... Please. Review.

(PM if you see any mistakes, betas hate my guts :D)