'I don't know what to do, Gil.'

Matthew hesitated with his thumb over the send button on his phone before he sighed and pressed it, throwing the phone down onto the bed beside him. A few moments later the phone beeped as Gilbert replied and Matthew picked it up awkwardly, holding it up above his head so he could read the message.

'What's up, Birdie? X'

Matthew stared at the message for a long time, trying to work out how he could put what was wrong into words that he wouldn't instantly hate and delete. Eventually he just replied, 'Come and meet me?'

'Sure. Park in 10 mins? X' Gilbert's reply was pretty much instant, as if he had been expecting this response.

'Okay' was all Matthew said in reply before forcing himself to sit up, looking around his room and rubbing his eyes to clear them of tears before starting to get ready. He left a note by the kettle in the kitchen telling the others that he had gone to meet Gilbert, knowing that Arthur would find it as soon as he got back.

Matthew walked quickly with his head down, just wanting to see Gilbert even if he couldn't explain what was actually wrong. He felt that a lot recently, that something was wrong but he couldn't put into words just what it was.

"Birdie!" Gilbert was sitting on one of the swing in the deserted park, waiting for him. Matthew jumped and looked over before forcing a smile. Gilbert got up and moved over, enveloping him in a hug, "What's wrong, Matt?"

Matthew tried to speak but the words wouldn't come out, tears spilt down his cheeks and he pressed his face into Gilbert's shoulder, trembling with sobs.

"Is this about Al?" Gilbert asked softly, kissing the side of Matthew's head as the younger boy sniffed and nodded. "Come on, let's go sit down, ja?" He pulled away from him slightly but kept an arm around his shoulders, gently leading him over to a corner of the park that was almost completely hidden from view by the drooping branches of trees. Gilbert sat down and carefully pulled Matthew into his lap. "I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear but, it'll be okay, Matt." He started softly, "And I'm sure you've had everyone telling you that and you're bored stiff of it but I can tell you for an absolute fact that it will be okay. It's going to be a long struggle for all of you but things will get better and things will work out. I promise."

Matthew sniffed and looked up at him, wiping his eyes on his sleeve, "How?" He questioned, a little childishly, "How can you say it's going to be okay? How can you promise me that things will get better."

Gilbert smiled at him, "Because life does. Because I know how Alfred must be feeling right now." He swallowed, "I'm not ashamed to tell you that I used to be a lot like your brother. When I was your age, maybe a little younger, my Opa died. Oma pretty much gave up after that. Lud was okay, he was quiet but he had friends around him a lot like you do. But I was like Al. I surrounded myself with people and pretended to them that I wasn't feeling down." He paused in his story to give Matthew a tight hug. "Opa meant the world to me and when he died it was like my entire world crumbled away to ash. And as a way of trying to cope with it I pushed all my emotions down and I would cut myself as a way of relieving that pain. The physical pain in a weird way helped to stop the emotional pain because it was something I could latch on to. Something that was uncomplicated and I could see how and why it was hurting me. I could not see any way out of the deep dark pit I dug for myself."

"This isn't filling me with confidence..." Matthew muttered, pressing his face into Gilbert's shoulder again.

Gilbert laughed softly, "That – oh impatient Birdie – is because I'm not finished yet." He took a deep breath before continuing, "So yeah, like I was saying things were pretty rough. And then they got better. Twin boys a couple of years younger than me joined the school and I for some odd reason was put in charge of being their buddy, someone a few years older who could show them the ropes and such. Considering I spent so little time actually at school by that point I have absolutely no idea why. But one of those little blond twins decided that he wanted to be my friend. That he wanted to stick with me when I'd managed to push all my other friends away. And because of that, things started to get better. I was happier at school and happier at home... Lud found out what I'd been doing and convinced me to go to the doctor. I went to counselling. It was a long, hard journey but I got through it. I gradually stopped cutting. I mean my schooling was an absolute mess by that point and I had to start my GCSE exams again as I failed pretty much all of them except for German... but things did get better."

"R-Really...?" Matthew whispered, "You're not just saying that?"

"Ask Lud." Gilbert smiled down at him, softly running his fingers through Matthew's hair, "He knows what you're going through and have you ever known a time where he would do anything to back me up if I'm not telling the truth?"

Matthew managed a small giggle and looked up at him, "No. He'd rat you out in a heartbeat if you were lying."

"Exactly. So if you ask him you'll know that I'm telling the truth."

"In that case..." Matthew said softly, "I believe you." he kissed Gilbert's chin, "Is Al really going to be okay?"

Gilbert nodded, "If I can get through it then so can your brother. And I'm always here for you, Birdie. If ever you need to talk just ring or text me and I'll be there. Nothing is more important than my Birdie."

Matthew smiled, "Thanks, Gil."

"You're welcome, Matt," Gilbert murmured in his ear, "Ich Liebe Dich."

"Je t'aime," Matthew replied softly, faintly blushing, "Gil... will you talk to Al? If I go talk to Lud?"

"Sure thing." He murmured, laughing softly as Matthew shivered, "You cold, Birdie?"

"A little," Matthew replied, giggling, "Maybe we should head back?"

Gilbert nodded and got to his feet, helping Matthew up before peeling off his jacket and wrapping it around the younger boy's thin shoulders and smiling at him. He held up a hand to silence Matthew as he tried to argue and then loops his fingers in his own, pressing lightly against him as the pair walked in companionable silence back to the house.

Author's note: So this chapter has been in my head for a while and this is kind of the best place to put it. For chronology's sake, this happens just before the start of the next school years. I realise I now have a few threads I need to bring together but all should be fine by the end! Theoretically!