Munakata's Retail Merriment
The bitter December air fogged his glasses and nipped his exposed skin as he slammed the rusted door shut behind him. He tugged his black knit scarf closer to his face and expelled warm smoky air from his nose. Fresh air funneled into his lungs as he fumbled with his cell phone through his leather gloves.
Bars never held any recreational appeal to him, especially the more rugged ones like HOMERA. But as it turns out, they are fantastic sources of information. People are much more inclined to divulge information after having a few drinks to loosen them up, and his serious secretary Seri is no exception.
As the C.E.O. of SEPTER 4 department stores, he made it his business to know everything about everyone at all times. As tedious as it sounds, if he were to step away and leave his subordinates to manage without his direct supervision, money would stop flowing in. Despite the rumors, he wasn't actually magical. He was just really damn good at not losing money.
He didn't hire his employee's for their work ethics; he hired for efficiency. Unfortunately, that meant getting honest responses from even his most trusted employees like Seri was difficult. She was a proud person who never made mistakes. And when she did make mistakes, she always made sure they were invisible to her boss.
Treating her to some drinks for "all her hard work" was a bit draining financially and emotionally, but he assumed the information he could pry out of her would make the expenditure worth it. Besides, he knew her well enough to know she would never turn down anything with red bean paste, especially if a particular blonde bartender prepared it.
After she had divulged some troubling information about a specific store in the chain, he excused himself with a knowing look to the bartender.
Izumo was pretty successful in his own right, and for reasons nearly opposite to Munakata's. He built his bar on his connections with others, and listening to drunken customer's spill their hearts out and then assisting them in getting home safely (so they could come back, and drink more, of course) was par for the course. Besides, Munakata was just good enough at reading people to determine that he probably would have helped her anyway. It wasn't every day that someone as lovely as his secretary came in for a drink.
Assuming she would be well taken care of and able to work the next time he called her in, he turned his attention to the foggy glowing screen in his hands.
He sniffled a bit and wiped the residue off his glasses.
He hadn't known the extent of the problem until now, but given his close proximity, he figured a personal visit would be the best way to rectify the situation.
Munakata was a proud man, but not so proud that he wouldn't take a public bus if it were cheap and convenient. He was accustomed to the solitude of his modern and spacious office overlooking the colorful city, so being crunched between strangers on a noisy bus was a bit unnerving. He decided rather quickly that he enjoyed the view much better when he didn't have to be a part of it.
On his left was a man with flaming red hair and a sour expression. His muscular elbow dug into Munakata's side without a thought as he huffed out cigarrete smoke. The bus driver reprimanded him several times, with no response. On his right, a cheerful young man with dirty blonde hair and a hot cup of coffee was discussing his favorite Christmas traditions with an elderly woman across from them.
A speed bump caused him to lose his grip, spilling the scalding liquid all over Munakata's custom made trousers. He spent the next twenty minutes apologizing profusely. Munakata gave him a small smile and tried to assure him that everything was fine, and it didn't feel like he had just taken a dip in Satan's hot tub.
When the bus groaned to a halt at the downtown station he flew to his feet and was pressing against the glass before the driver even opened the door. In hindsight, he probably should have sent a sober Seri with a phone so he could watch from the safety of his office.
It was too late for regrets now. He sighed as his long winter coat got caught in the automatic revolving doors. He made a quick note to himself that one of the lights on the SECPTER 4 logo adorning the four-story department store was out. That didn't make for a good first impression, and it didn't represent his corporation the way he would have wanted.
It was a bit surreal, if he was honest. He tugged his coat out of the crevice between the doors and looked up. A large Christmas tree served as the centerpiece of the store. It took the place of the usual rotating globe with twinkling locations of all his stores. The grey sky was barley visible as snow accumulated on the top of the large ceiling window. Shelves of goods and hoards of customers on different levels faded into his periphery when a head of light pink hair appeared inches away from his face.
"Merry Christmas!" A high-pitched voice giggled. "Welcome to SCEPTER 4! We're so happy you chose to spend your holiday season with us! Please buy lots of things! ALL THE THINGS!"
After he got over the initial surprise (he was defiantly NOT scared), he adjusted his glasses and looked down at this…person talking to him. Mismatched green and blue eyes and a twitchy cat like grin met his startled expression.
He barley recognized the standard blue uniform that he helped design. It was more like someone had cut a uniform and half and wrapped the remains around her body in a haphazard way. Not only was she extremely seasonally inappropriate, Munakata was certain that she was violating at least 17 different wardrobe policies from the employee handbook. That is, assuming that this bizarre girl worked here.
Munakata barely even registered when a shopping basket was shoved into his arms and he was shoved forwards towards the commotion.
What. On. Earth.
He fumbled around on his phone to make another note. Store greeters were not even listed as employees on his payroll. That wasn't a position that was offered, and even if it was, that certainly wasn't…
"Does this have meat in it?!"
A shrill voice shattered Munakata's train of thought, as well as his eardrums. He turned towards the glowing red and green cash registers. A brown haired girl in a school uniform with yellow earmuffs was shaking a ramen packet at the cashier.
The cashier had an exasperated expression as he adjusted his glasses and brushed his dark hair out of his eyes.
"If I say 'no' will you shut your trap and buy it?"
"I'm vegetarian!" She wailed. "I've been getting these from your store for years now. I need to know! I can't eat it if it has meat!"
"Well you've apparently been eating them fine for years now."
"It goes against everything I stand for!" She stomped a white snow boot against the reflective tiles.
"I need to know if they have meat or not!"
"I need to know if you're gonna buy this or not, because you are holding up the line."
"Just tell me! My friend is like, a food expert, and she said it has meat stuff in it. If this has meat it I'm suing you! You should say on the label if it has meat!"
The cashier reached out and took the ramen packet from her, turned it around, and pointed to the table of contents.
"You mean like this?"
The girl snatched it from him and scanned the contents quickly before bursting into tears.
Pork stock? Dried baby sardines?
"YOU ASSHOLE! Stop making girls cry!"
A boy with a black hat (which is against dress code) and orange hair in a blue work uniform jumped over one of the registers to confront the cashier.
"I-uh, s-sorry about him." He stuttered as he jerked a thumb towards his rude coworker, looking anywhere but the unhappy customer.
"If you need anything-I mean, I can help you check out your things. If you…want?"
He managed an uncertain glance in her direction. Unable to look at her face; he focused on her school uniform.
"You've already done a fine job checking her out. Mi-sa-ki."
The cashier mocked in a bitter yet playful voice.
"I wasn't! You wanna start something?!"
The employee with the unbuttoned uniform huffed up his chest, as if he was trying to look intimidating. It wasn't really that effective, given that his cheeks were redder than his hair.
Earmuff girl let out a startlingly loud sob, and all nearby eyes were on them. Some customers in line behind her began to awkwardly shuffle to another register worked by an overweight and overstressed blonde man. He seemed to be the only worker nearby who was actually doing his job. Other's pulled out their phones and began filming the spectacle.
The tall boy with blue-black hair didn't pay it all any mind, instead focusing on his irate coworker.
"You didn't deny your name, this time. In fact, you're parading it around for everyone to see. Have you finally embraced it?"
He reached out and tugged at his coworker's lopsided nametag that was latched on to his chest.
"You motherfu-"
"Look here," The dark haired employee with glasses pulled his rowdy coworker over to their customer. She sniffled and rubbed her eyes with her colorful gloves, glancing up. He grinned widely and pointed to the shorter guy's name tag.
"Don't you think Misaki is a fitting name for him?"
Munakata's attention was pulled away by a tug on his (still wet and coffee soaked) pants. His phone was still out and filled with even more notes, and he had started moving forward to intervene before the situation escalated.
A tiny girl with long white hair and an elaborate ruffled crimson dress peered up at him.
"Is there…something I can do for you?" Munakata blinked a few times to refocus on the new face in this constant change of scenery.
"I need a cigarette lighter."
Her voice was like steel covered in soft silk.
"Pardon?" He blinked once more before glancing around. "Where are your parents?"
"Help me reach the cigarette lighters."
The girl tugged him forward with both small hands.
"Hold on a moment,"
Munakata massaged his forehead with the tips of his fingers. Their department store kept all cigarette and alcohol related things behind a counter near the cash registers, and she seemed to be pulling him in that direction. The girl looked up expectantly at him without blinking. No one else seemed to be paying them any mind. Understandable, as the two employees had now started a full on fistfight.
"Where are your parents?"
He asked again, making an effort to make is voice softer, and less tense.
"Shizume Cemetery."
"Cemetery?" He fought to keep his voice even.
"I need an adult to get a cigarette lighter."
"Yes, you do. Where are the adults that take care of you?"
"Sleeping."
"Pardon?"
"Get me a cigarette lighter."
Munakata knelt down next to her so he could look her in the eye evenly.
"Who takes care of you? We'll find them together."
"He's sleeping. He doesn't know I'm out."
"You snuck out?"
"I walked out."
"Why? Where do you live?"
"I needed to get a cigarette lighter."
"Yes, I understand that. Why do you need a lighter?"
She broke eye contact for the first time, and reached into her pockets. She pulled out a small red lace bag, unclasped it, and held up some money.
"Will you get it?"
"What do you need it for? You're too young to smoke. And why are you asking me?"
"Because you work here."
"I…pardon?"
"You say 'pardon' a lot."
"My apologies."
Munakata stood straight up, puzzled and a bit uncomfortable. He glanced over to where the two employees were fighting. A man with a long black ponytail had separated them. The chubby blonde one was working crowd control, and another employee with green hair that covered his eyes had taken over the cash register.
"What makes you think I work here?"
Munakata turned back to the little girl. Curious and a bit dazed.
Keep it together. Handle one thing at a time. Everything will be fine.
"You do work here."
"What makes you think that? I'm not wearing a uniform."
Munakata gestured to his elegant clothing, still faintly dripping with coffee.
"Use this to get the lighter."
She placed the money into his leather glove.
"You don't listen very well." He muttered.
Munakata clutched her money in one hand; awkwardly curling his arm around the shopping basket the strange inappropriately dressed girl had shoved at him. He took one of her small hands in the other free hand.
"Ok, I'll get it for you, if you tell me what you need if for. "
Is this what I've been reduced to? Bargaining with a child? I doubt I'll have any peace until I do as she says, and I doubt I'll have any peace after that…. considering…
"Surprise."
"Pardo-…uh…come again?"
He glanced down as he guided them through the brilliantly chaotic and modern store.
"It's a surprise."
"The lighter?"
"Yes."
She picked out large silver lighter with a roaring lion engraved on it. Munakata purchased it for her without being recognized by the sluggish employee behind the counter. He was a bit disappointed he wasn't recognized as C.E.O., but it did spare him the tedious questions, along with the humiliation of being indirectly responsible for all the nonsense he had witnessed so far.
Behind the employee were hundreds of gleaming colorful bottles in a selection that could rival the bar he left earlier. Along the wall were pictures of various people. Most of them seemed to be middle-aged men, but one stood out as a young student with white hair.
He left the basket and money at the counter in exchange for a shopping bag. He guided the small child back towards the front of the store. She seemed more like an adult than most of the people he'd encountered that day, but at this point he was so involved with her he didn't feel comfortable just leaving her to walk out on her own.
As they approached the entrance, a punk looking man with red hair and a black fur coat confronted them. Munakata recognized him as the one who wouldn't stop smoking on the bus, and unconsciously reached up to rub the bruise on his rib that the man's elbow had left.
"Mikoto!"
The little girl skipped over to him, and he effortlessly scooped her up with one of his arms.
"Anna." He grunted. "Why the hell did you run off?"
"I wasn't running."
"Then what were you doing?"
His eyes narrowed suspiciously toward Munakata. If Munakata weren't paralyzed in place he might have offered the man a job as a security guard. Just by glaring in their direction this guy could probably scare off the majority of potential offenders.
"Surprise."
Anna said, as if that explained everything.
"Who are you and what were you doing with her?"
This time his question was directed toward Munakata, who adopted a calm smile and placed his hands up in what was meant to be a gesture of peace. The shopping bag with the lighter dangled from his wrist.
I shouldn't have gotten out of bed this morning.
"Munakata Reisi, I…. work here. I was just bringing her outside. Children shouldn't be left wandering around unattended. I take it you are her guardian?"
Apparently that wasn't the right thing to say, because the man literally huffed out smoke as he took a step forward.
"Bullshit. You were on the bus a few minutes ago, you don't have a uniform, and you're carrying a shopping bag. You don't work here. What the hell were you doing with her?"
Anna cupped his chin and gently turned it until he was looking at her.
"He does work here. He helped me with the surprise."
"What surprise? I've been searching for hours- "
Anna detangled herself from him and waltzed over to Munakata. She held out her hands expectantly. Munakata handed her the bag, and when she turned around, Mikoto was right behind her.
She pulled a red ribbon from her pocket and wrapped a bow around the small box with the lighter inside.
"This surprise."
She picked up his hand and wrapped his fingers around the box.
"Anna, what is this?"
"You should have stayed asleep. It's still early, but…"
An ear-to-ear smile graced her face.
"Merry Christmas, Mikoto."
He stared at the package for a moment, like he was unsure what to make of it, before his lips twitched upward and he shook his head.
"Don't go wandering off on your own anymore."
He scooped her up again, so she was sitting on his shoulder. Munakata let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. The red headed man turned to him, and it seemed like he was about to say something.
"You will only make this worse for yourself by resisting!"
A sharp, commanding voice came from somewhere nearby.
Oh, Lord. What now?
"I keep telling you, I'm innocent!"
Yet another ridiculous situation seemed to be taking place. The man with the long black ponytail who separated the arguing employees earlier was holding up a pair of handcuffs. He was closing in on a panicky boy with white hair…the one from the picture on the wall?
"As it turns out-"
Munakata forced a pleasant smile, as he turned back to the lazy punk and the Lolita princess.
"I am the owner of this store, and there seems to be a bit of trouble. Please excuse me."
Mikoto raised an eyebrow, and his faint smile widened. Anna stifled a giggle into her lace gloves. Munakata turned on his heels and quickly paced over to where the two men were.
"Innocent? Multiple witnesses saw you. We even have photographic evidence. You have a lot of nerve showing your face around here again! Although, you've made my job much easier."
"I seriously have no idea what you're talking about! I've never stolen anything in my life!"
The white haired student protested, waving his arms around, as if that could prove his point.
"You can watch the video surveillance if you like, on your way to prison."
"Prison? Come on, wait a minute! This is just a misunderstanding. You've got the wrong guy!"
"I don't think so."
The man with the ponytail twirled the handcuffs around as he reached out to apprehend the suspect.
"Wait, wait! What's it gonna take to convince you? I think you're confusing me with someone else."
"You're the one who's confused. You came in last week and took a camera, some duck tape, and a red umbrella."
The handcuffs clicked around the boy's small wrists.
"I… what? There's no way…"
He didn't seem as confident in his denial this time. His expression glazed over in contemplation, and then horror. He was being led towards the front of the store, when he suddenly shouted.
"That wasn't me! That was- well, it was sort of me. If you would just let me explain-!"
A loud crash came from somewhere near the back of the store.
Munakata maintained a serene smile as he massaged his forehead with the tips of his fingers.
"Watch him, for a moment, please." was the only part of their conversation he heard.
The security guard more or less tossed the suspect at the cheerful underdressed greeter near the front. She squealed and hugged him so tightly there was no chance of him getting away, handcuffed or not.
"Nya! That was so scary! Don't worry, I'll protect you!"
She squished him to her chest as he struggled to breathe.
The security guard drew his weapon, ponytail swinging behind him as he ran towards the source of the commotion. The two arguing employees from earlier were at it again, apparently, and had somehow managed to topple over an entire shelf of merchandise.
Customers were either filming or frantically running for the exit.
Munakata clasped his hands behind his back and waded his way through the colorful holiday chaos. He passed by the scene without a word.
The taller cashier had lost his glasses at some point during the argument, and was trying to hold the shorter boy in a chokehold. The kid with the hat was swinging a lamp around, struggling to hit the guy behind him. The security guard's attempts to intervene were met with "PISS OFF!" from both of them.
Munakata made his way to the intercom at the information desk. He cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses before pressing the speaker button.
"Good afternoon."
His voice sounded merrily through the sound speakers hidden throughout the store.
"This is Munakata Reisi speaking, I am the head of the SCEPTER 4 Corporation. It has come to my attention that there are some problems with this particular store. On behalf of SCEPTER 4, I would like to personally apologize to all our loyal customers. The behavior you have witnessed today will not be repeated in the future. We appreciate your business, and hope nothing you have experienced here today was so traumatic that it interferes with your holiday festivities. In the future, top quality products and service will be at the forefront of our vision."
I need a vacation. Seri will have to work overtime though, which she absolutely deserves for not informing me of this sooner.
He took his finger off the button, for a moment.
"By the way," His voice rung out through the speakers again. "If you are currently wearing a SCEPTER 4 uniform, or part of a SCEPTER 4 uniform, please remove it at your earliest convenience, and don't bother showing up tomorrow."
London? No, no, somewhere tropical, with as few people as possible.
"And if you started removing it at this very moment, congratulations. You are now both fired and getting arrested for indecent exposure."
And a large amount of alcohol.
"On behalf of SCEPTER 4, I wish you all the happiest of holidays!"