A/N: Just a fair warning, in this chapter, sh*t is about to get real. I really do believe Kuvira had a rebellious period of her life, before becoming part of the guard.
And a few clarifications, just in case: Suyin holds an annual Zaofu Gala. And Kuvira has been dating Baatar for maybe a year by 168 AG, maybe a little less.
Enjoy! (:
168 AG
"Maybe this wasn't such a great idea," Kuvira stated, making a face at her reflection.
"Oh come on, this one has some potential," Suyin placed an elbow in her opposite hand and rested her fingers on her cheekbone.
Kuvira shot her a very confused expression. The dress she stood on the platform with was a loud, shiny green. The neckline had some sort of intricate braiding, with oddly placed flowers woven into the fabric. Billowing sleeves with the same type of flowers only added more distraction. An unnecessary slit in the dress traveled halfway up her thigh.
"Okay, then what was your idea of the perfect Gala dress?" Su folded her arms.
Stepping off of the platform, careful not to trip and tear the awful thing, Kuvira scanned the walls of the dress shop. Nothing caught her attention in the right way. She was never the young woman who adored to be all dolled up in an elegant dress. No, that would be her friend Leena. With small movements of her hand in the air, she was able to slide hangers down without actually having to touch to heinous things. It was exhausting, but if she did not find a dress, Suyin was going to find one for her.
As if it were some miracle, Kuvira spotted her ideal gown. She removed it from the rack and found Su rummaging through dresses with excessive amounts of tulle. Su straightened her back and examined the dress in Kuvira's hands.
"That's the dress?" She asked, looking it up and down with a raised brow. "That's the dress you want?"
Kuvira beamed a smile and nodded her head.
"All right, fine."
***
Exhaling heavily, Kuvira felt her chest tense up in nervousness. She had always heard about the Zaofu Gala. She remembered staring in awe with Opal at the gowns some of the women were dressed in when she was younger. But there was an age requirement for the Gala; finally she had met it. Everything had to be perfect to Suyin, and younger citizens of Zaofu would simply deter it all from its flawlessness. Everything, including the processional had to be perfect.
The women of Zaofu who were invited stood in a single file line. Suyin, in the front, examined herself in a mirror held by one of the ladies working on last-minutes fixes. Kuvira, who stood behind her, could not tell exactly what she was looking for; she kept making strange faces and craning her neck to awkward angles. It was almost as if she was so consumed with the way her jaw line looked. After a few minutes, Suyin saw Kuvira looking at her through the mirror.
She turned to her, tucking a few strands of Kuvira's hair behind her ears. "There, you're ready," she smiled brightly at her. "How are you feeling?"
Kuvira raised an eyebrow, exhaling shortly. "I feel like I can't breathe in this."
Su laughed, "Good, no surprises then." She winked at her and turned back to the front.
Leena slapped Kuvira on the back, knocking the wind out of her. "Can you believe we're here? Make sure to dance with the money heirs of this place," she whispered carefully so Suyin could not hear her.
"There's only one person I'll be dancing with tonight, Leena," Kuvira replied.
Leena rolled her eyes. "Who, me?"
The two laughed at each other, only soon to be shushed by the older women in the line.
"Go back to your spot," Kuvira whispered. She was not sure where Leena and her mother were supposed to stand, but she figured it probably was not this close to the front.
Music began playing behind the thick curtain. Suyin straightened herself, shaking her head so her hair swayed from her face. She had told Kuvira how the procession works, what to do, and when to do it. But she forgot everything. Had she not been paying attention? Or was she simply that nervous? She would soon have to remember, for the curtains were being pulled apart. Suyin began to stride forward, with her head held high. The brightness from the chandeliers above blinded Kuvira.
Kuvira slowly moved forward, following Suyin. She saw Bataar Sr. catch Su's eyes, and then offered his arm to her. Once together, they walked back down the elaborately wide staircase towards the gala. A grand applause filled the beautiful room. Suyin always some degree of regality to her, no matter what she did. Exhaling deeply, Kuvira walked forward, expecting her Bataar to be not too far in front of her. Instead of mimicking his father's actions, he simply froze mid-stride on the stairs. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped, gawking at her.
She had picked a deep green, strapless gown. A simple, silver belt embellished with clear stones wrapped around her thin waist. Suyin had picked it out, and she could not let it go. A lightweight, almost clear green fabric attached to her shoulders and draped all the way to the ground. When the light touched the fabric just right, one could see the glint of shimmer it had to offer. Half of her hair was pulled up, while the under layers draped past her shoulders.
Kuvira stood there, giving him a wide-eyed expression. She lifted her arms slightly in confusion. What are you doing? She thought to herself, you're not just going to stand there, are you?
Snapping out of his awe-struck phase, Bataar shook his head only to determine what he saw was true. Walking the last few steps, he at last offered his arm to her. Kuvira closed her eyes and exhaled as she intertwined her arm with his. She kept looking from the ground to catch her steps, to him, looking for some sort of reaction. Or at least some form of reassurance. As soon as they made the final step down the grand staircase, an overwhelming sense of relief came over them both.
"I didn't think you were going to make it down those steps," Kuvira said jokingly, her eyes soft.
"I just," Bataar lost all ideas for words, "You-"
"Yes?" Her eyebrows rose. They found a spot on the elaborate dance floor, and she made him pause for one second. She placed his hands slowly onto her hips, and then soon met his glance. She had an unreadable expression on her face. Lacing her fingers behind his neck, Kuvira repeated, "yes?"
"You," Bataar could hardly enunciate. "You're perfect. Beautiful. I mean, not like you never were previously, it's just that-"
Kuvira shut him up by placing her her lips onto his. Slowly, she felt his stress leave him. He was finally back on his own two feet. The world paused while they stood there, together. She pulled away, still tasting his breath. Without smiling at him, she felt her eyes were doing all the expressions. "Thank you," she whispered, locking her vision on him.
As the evening continued on, the ballroom of the Beifong Estate filled with the aristocrats of Zaofu. Kuvira of course felt out of place, but it was an enlightening feeling to realize she was ranked among them. Various shades of green colored the tall ceilings. The endless windows revealed a brilliantly starry sky outside. Live instrumental music filled the hall, and the dancing never seemed to end. Bataar never seemed to be one who was aware of his footing, so Kuvira took the lead. They both preferred it this way. She made anything, even a complex dance routine, seem so simple. She danced almost as if she learned it recently, and was applying the final touches to it.
"Would I be able to borrow the lady for a moment?" Leena appeared for the first time in the evening. A shimmering green dress draped on her small frame. A neckline plunging to nearly a few inches above her navel distracted from the artistic quality of the gown. Kuvira figured Leena had it specially altered for herself.
Kuvira gave Bataar a confused look, hoping he would refuse Leena from her wishes. Her friend already took her by the arm, leading her outside. Kuvira looked over her shoulder at him, sending him a look reassuring I'll be right back. She knew she could not promise such a thing, though.
Stepping outside allowed Kuvira's ears to finally relax from the music's volume. Only a few people stood in the dark, under the strings of lights. The air was still warm, and it felt refreshing.
"So, are you ready to go to an actual party?" Leena asked, sending a sly look towards her friend, lifting a brow.
"I can't go now!" Kuvira whispered, looking behind her.
"Oh come on," Leena rolled her eyes, and then tried to catch what was keeping her friend's mind preoccupied. "Kuvira, just get rid of him."
Her eyebrows pushed together as she glared at her friend. "What is that supposed to mean?"
Leena sighed. "Of course I had to be the one to tell you," she dragged on, only to catch the reaction. Kuvira was delivering the response she was looking for. "Kuvira, you're one of my greatest friends. But a lot of people have been saying, well-"
"Well, what?" Kuvira interrupted, growing tired of buying for time.
"He's changed you! We miss the old 'Vira. I miss the old 'Vira; the one who would not hesitate to break a few rules, just because we could." Leena shrugged.
Kuvira stood silent, looking away. She and Bataar were always different, but that was what she adored about what they had. She lacked fear, where he thrived on staying home at night. Their differences were what made Kuvira keep coming back. He never fought against her; she asked, and he delivered without question. She became addicted to that sort of power over him.
"Come on, Kuvira. He's made you boring," she looked to the side, regretting what she was about to admit. "People also think it's strange you have been in a relationship with him."
"And who says that? What's so strange about it?" The more Leena spoke, the more Kuvira wanted to hear, but the more it also hurt.
"Kuvira, I'm saying this as your friend. He's basically your brother. You have been living with the Beifongs for how long now? I realize you two have been together for a while, but it's just…Weird." Leena was afraid of looking her in the eye. "I'm not the only one who thinks this. You could get any man in the city. Yet you settled."
Kuvira felt numb. There was a part of her who loved her relationship, but she always wanted more. He offered her more of an intellectual connection than anyone their age could possibly attempt. The truth Leena spoke of crushed her, and she nearly hated her for telling. But it had to be said, and only Leena would be able to tell her.
"Look, I'm sorry. I just wanted to have a night like old times," Leena broke the long silence. "But, I won't-"
"No," Kuvira interrupted her. "I'll go. But only under one condition."
Leena gave her a facial response that was a blend of excitement and uncertainty.
"Bataar comes with us."
***
A much different style of music blared out from the house compared to the style at the Beifong Estate. It did not seem to have any melody, but instead it was just a bunch of loud white noise. Kuvira spotted Leena maneuvering her way through the mass of young people. Wall-to-wall, the younger citizens of Zaofu filled the home of one of the aristocrats who was at Suyin's gala. Some of the party-goers seemed to have snuck away from the gala, too; many had elaborate gowns that would usually be far beyond their own budgets. Leena made her way to Kuvira's side, holding a small glass in each hand. She rose a brow as she gave her friend one of the glasses.
"What is this?" Kuvira asked her, trying to her herself over the music.
"You don't want to know," Leena replied, clinking her glass against her friend's.
At once, they tilted their heads back and consumed the clear substance in the shot glasses. A burning sensation took over Kuvira's body. It was not a pleasant experience, but a familiar and addicting one. Her head began to spin slightly, and her stomach wanted to get rid of whatever she had just drunk. She tightened her eyes shut, making a repulsing face. Once the burning and sickliness subsided, she opened her eyes only to see Leena smile at her.
"Oh, don't be such a lightweight," she took Kuvira's glass, and leaned towards her ear and whispered, "I'm glad 'Vira is back." Leena looked at Bataar and nudged him with her elbow, "Lighten up, would you? It's a party. And have fun with this one," she nudged towards Kuvira, winking as she walked towards the mass of people.
Kuvira, through a slightly hazy vision, looked up at Bataar. He looked like an ostrich horse lost in the middle of the road, with a Satomobile heading right towards him. "We should go," he told her.
"We just got here," Kuvira replied in her determined voice.
"I really don't think this is a good idea."
"You heard Leena! Lighten up," she took a drink from a glass sitting next to her on the table.
"Where did you get that?" He tried taking the glass from her, but it only irritated her more. She jerked away from him, causing some of the drink to get onto her dress. After he caught Kuvira's glare, he continued, "And why would you listen to Leena?"
"Why wouldn't I, Baatar? She's one of my good friends."
"And what am I to you?"
He had a point. The right-minded Kuvira conflicted with the hazy one trying to take over. She took another gulp of whatever it was she found, feeling a little number by the second. "You know you're more important to me than anyone in this place," she responded, setting the glass back on the table. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she kissed him. At first he resisted, but Kuvira knew he could never fight against it.
"If that were true, you would leave with me now," Baatar broke the kiss.
"I'm not leaving."
"I hate it when you're drunk, Kuvira." He gave her a frustrated look, "it's becoming a habit."
"I hate it when you're being like this!"
"Like what?" He was nearly at a loss of words.
"Like," the hazy version of Kuvira began to take more control. "Like typical Baatar! Can't you just live for the moment for once? Either that, or just let me live my life?"
A temperate Baatar gave her a somber expression through his glasses. "You want to stay here?" He said in a near whisper.
"For the last time, yes! I am staying here!" She became more furious than anything.
"Fine. Stay here. I'll see you at home." Baatar stepped away, becoming lost in the masses.
Kuvira ran her fingertips through the hairline framing her face. It was a typical kind of argument they would get into. No matter how much of a habit it felt like, she hated every second of it. She thrived off of the numb escapades Leena would drag her to. But she loved the feeling of support Baatar offered her; he would typically wait for her to have her fun, even if it lasted into all hours of the night. He could not carry her home to the Estate, but he was always able to bring her to her room and make sure the sun would not wake her up in the morning.
But this time, there would be no support. There was Leena, of course. But she was bound to run off with someone she recently met, and will never speak to after morning. Kuvira tried shaking off the thought of Bataar disappearing by consuming all of what was in the glass in a single breath. Fighting the urge of wanting to get rid of whatever was in it, Kuvira sat the empty glass back on the table. She hazily went to go find Leena, who unsurprisingly was surrounded by a roomful of Zaofu's young men. She sat on the lap of one of them, shoes off and a drink in hand.
"Boys, allow me to introduce to you, my good friend," Leena got to her feet, slightly stumbling. She wrapped an arm around Kuvira's neck and raised a glass, "she lives in the Beifong Estate!" She loudly whispered.
Kuvira felt all eyes on her, and it made her feel unstoppable. She adored the attention whenever it was given to her. Of course, no one believed she was living under the roof of Suyin Beifong.
"So, did you get rid of Baatar?" Leena whispered into her ear, but in reality it was said just as loud as a normal conversation.
"I didn't get rid of him, he," Kuvira paused, "left."
"You don't deserve that sort of treatment from any man," a new voice entered the conversation. It was almost as if he saw the argument between her and Bataar. He was nearly the opposite of what Kuvira was used to; a muscular build, an addiction to the unknown, and hauntingly deep voice.
Leena looked him up and down, smiling, then turned to Kuvira and gave her the I told you so look. "You're welcome," she said to Kuvira, winking at the stranger.
The more Kuvira spoke to him, and the more she drank, the more she began to lose a sense of reality. The more distant reality became, the quicker Kuvira began to lose herself without noticing it. She was in the stranger's lap, and nothing in the world seemed to matter. She breathed in his sweet taste and craved for more. The monster Kuvira was not used to was slowly making an appearance.
***
Kuvira woke very early the next morning. Her head spun as she tried to recognize the room she was in. It was some bedroom she did not remember. The man she vaguely remembered from the previous night was sound asleep beside her. Rushing out from underneath the covers, Kuvira realized her gown was no longer on her. A sick feeling struck at her core. She had to get home.
Scrambling for any pieces of clothes, Kuvira jumped into whatever she could find first. She stumbled out the door, feeling nauseas and frustrated in herself. Her head felt light, and her vision slowly turned white. She felt her cheeks feel hollow and cold. They were all very familiar side effects, and she deserved them all.
Despite her ill feeling, Kuvira knew how to get back to the Estate. Nervously, she grabbed the handle to a side door of the estate. Normally, she would have simply used her bending to open the door, but her head throbbed too much to even consider it.
She had picked the wrong door. The high-ceiling room was still slightly dark and completely silent. Delicately closing the door, Kuvira looked over her shoulder to find Suyin's back facing her. The click the door made when it shut made Kuvira's heart drop. Su stood like some sort of perfect statue. Maybe if she was lucky enough, Kuvira would be able to disappear behind a corridor without Su to notice.
"Not so fast, young lady," Suyin spoke, her voice echoing through the room yet her posture remaining unmoved.
Cursing under her breath, Kuvira stopped in her tracks. She was not ready for the verbal beating she was about to receive from her mother figure.
"Care to tell me where you are running back from?" She turned towards the younger woman and walked towards her.
Kuvira for once could not find any words to respond in. Su raised her eyebrows and folded her arms. "I…Su, I just-"
"Baatar Jr. told me everything. I understand you wanted to go to a house party after the gala. I cannot tell you that you can't. But I would ask that you stay together, in case something were to happen."
Kuvira felt a lump in her throat. She remained quiet, as if she just received a harsh trouncing.
"Is there something else you wanted to tell me?" Suyin looked at her, "anything at all?"
She slowly shook her head.
Su sighed, hoping for a different response. "I'm very disappointed in you, Kuvira."
She knew. Bataar had told her everything. Which only meant Bataar knew everything, too.
Kuvira hurried out of the room to find Baatar. The sun had just begun to rise, which means he would still be asleep. Despite the bedroom doors being identical, she identified easily which was his. When they were much younger, she and Baatar agreed they would knock on each other's doors with two knocks; this would help them know who was on the other side. She slowly, but deliberately knocked on the metal door two times. She was hoping for no response, giving her clearance to open it.
"Go away, Kuvira," she heard his muffled voice.
She closed her eyes, sighing. She had half a mind to walk away, to let him get over it. But she had to do this one thing right. She fought against the nauseating feeling, and then took two fingers to bend the metal doorknobs. She took her foot and nudged the door slightly open.
"I told my mother I wanted platinum doors installed," Baatar groaned, realizing she had not listened.
"You and I both know Su wouldn't put in platinum doors," Kuvira replied, sitting on the edge of his bed. "There's no such thing as privacy in Zaofu."
"I don't need my mom to build doors. I can do that," he looked to the side away from her, furious.
Kuvira looked up at him, hoping to catch his eyes. "I know," she quietly assured. Behind his glasses, she noticed his eyes were red, and his cheeks were glistening. On the nightstand beside his bed, all there was were a light fixture and a framed photo. It was a picture of them together. She remembered when and where it had exactly been taken. They were facing each other, with their fingers laced together. He had his typical, shy smile on. She gave an open-mouthed smile, in the middle of saying something. Suyin had taken the picture without them realizing it.
"Baatar, will you just listen to me?" She quietly asked him, breaking the silence.
"No, you listen to me!" Baatar's eyes began to well up with tears again. They were both shocked at his outburst. "I told you I didn't want to leave last night. You know how I feel about Leena. She's changed you, Kuvira."
Kuvira's eyes widened. Her heart felt heavy.
"I saw the way you looked at him," he looked to the side. His voice became quieter. "It was a look I've never seen you have."
"Baatar, I-" she could not find words to speak, or even a way to say them.
"What? You're what?" He yelled at her.
Kuvira opened her mouth, trying to force herself to say it. But those were the two words she had always found most difficult.
"You can't even say it, because you don't even believe it," he buried his face in his hands. His shoulders moved in a response to his quiet sobs.
"Baatar, please-"
"No, I'm done," he lifted his head, glaring at her through tears. "We're done."
"I didn't mean for this-"
"Get out!" he yelled, his voice breaking. "Just leave me alone, and get out."
Nothing she could possibly say was going to change his mind. Not now. Kuvira looked at him one last time. Glancing back at the picture, she got to her feet and disappeared quietly. She closed the door behind her, and then leaned her back on it. Her shoulders felt heavy, and tears fell from her eyes. She could not handle this any longer. She ran back to Suyin's office.
The sun was much brighter than before. Kuvira straightened, staring at the closed door to the office. Sighing deeply, she knocked twice, and slowly opened it. Through the slight opening, she saw Suyin was busy reading some lengthy proposal. When she noticed, Su looked up. "Kuvira?" She called out, startled.
Kuvira ran into the office, tears streaming down her face. Her throat felt tight. Her cheeks hot. Su had just began to stand up, and Kuvira wrapped her arms around her. Without having to ask, Su embraced her, and brushed her long hair with her hand. In between sobs, Kuvira said, "Su, I have made a great mistake."
Su placed her hands on the teenager's shoulders. "Tell me what happened."
"Last night, I-" Kuvira gulped. "Baatar had left, and I…" She buried her face into Su's shoulder.
Suyin did not see the eighteen-year-old girl before her, but instead the eight-year-old she had first met. Both were lost for answers. Both just needed their mother. She delicately took Kuvira's face into her hands. "Baatar told me everything. Everything." She reassured.
"What do I do, Su? He'll never forgive me," she choked.
"It will be difficult, sure. Would you easily forgive something like this?"
Kuvira tightly closed her eyes. "I can't stay here anymore. I can't live here with you and your family."
"Our family," Suyin corrected her.
"I cannot stay here."
Suyin's eyes widened. "You're not…"
Kuvira furrowed her eyebrows, trying to find what Su was talking about. "What? No!"
The matriarch sighed in relief, closing her eyes. "Will you still stay in Zaofu?"
"Yes," Kuvira replied. "This is the only place I know."
Su let the girl go. She exhaled and straightened her back. "I cannot guarantee he will forgive you, but I have an idea as to what can straighten you out."