Whatever the Cost

Chapter Four: The Secret's Already Out

Some folk we never forget
Some kind we never forgive
Haven't seen the back of us yet
We'll fight as long as we live

-Song of the Lonely Mountain (Neil Finn)

Grocery shopping had gone smoother than Gray had predicted it would. In fact, it turned more into an educational lesson than anything. Natsu was there to tell him so many things about food. Which brands to get, which seasonings brought out the taste of a meal, which meats cooked better, which dairy products were healthier. Gray had no idea that Natsu was an expert when it came down to food. (Desserts, though, of course, were Gray's department; Natsu didn't seem to know very much about them unless they were hot.) If he hadn't known the pinkette, he would have guessed the teen was a chef rather than a mage.

The thought of Natsu being a good housewife popped into his mind and he sputtered with laughter at the mere idea of the pinkette wearing a frilly apron and floral-patterned oven mittens. Natsu gave him a look from the sideline, and wondered if he should start worrying about his friend's mental health. "You okay?"

"Y-Yeah," Gray replied, his laughs finally dying down. "I just thought of something funny. So is there anything else you want to get?"

"Nah, I think this is enough. Huh?" Looking to the side the pinkette realized they were passing by the meat section. He deviated from the raven's side, picking up a package of grade A beef. His mouth watered at the sight of it, his eyes solely focused on the item. Now it was Gray's turn to give a look and worry for his friend's mentality. Making his way to the side of the pinkette, he glanced over to see what it was that captivated the fire mage so much. "This is the best beef ever," Natsu explained before Gray could even ask. "I've tried it only once before when Guildarts bought it for me when the guild was holding a party." He gave a fond smile at the memory before giving a despondent sigh and light shrug. "Too bad it's so expensive. I'd buy it all the time if was cheaper. Anyway, I guess we better go to the checkout lanes now."

As Natsu left, Gray – curious to know just how much the beef was – leaned over and glanced at the price. His eyes widened in utter surprise. 'Holy shit! How can beef be so expensive?! I could buy new pans and dishes at that price!' He instantly turned away from the meat sections to catch up with Natsu. It was ridiculous how expensive some foods could. But what was even more ridiculous is that people actually bought said overpriced foods. Luckily, Gray was not one of those people. Finally, he caught up with the waiting pinkette. "Jeez you're slow," Natsu muttered.

"Tch," was the only response he got.

As they were walking down the street, him and Natsu made small talk. But still, the question about Gray's hometown pulled at Natsu's mind constantly. Finally, he decided to just jump in and go for it. "Hey, Gray? Can I ask you sort of a personal question?"

"I guess…"

"Will you tell me about…" The image of an icy glare appeared in his mind. Natsu faded off, remembering the last time he asked the question and the reaction he'd gotten from Gray. The raven had just woken up yesterday, asking something so personal (and stressing, he guessed) suddenly seemed like a not so bright idea. The pinkette shook his head. "Never mind." Looking up, Gray glanced at his friend beside him; his curiosity being peaked.

"Might as well just finish your question, flame brain. The most I can do is say I won't answer it."

"It's fine. I'll ask it another time."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Gray asked, stopping to get a good look at his friend. The skin under the pinkette's eyes seemed slightly more darker than they should have been, and he gave a frown at the sight. "You didn't sleep last night, did you."

"I got some sleep," he answered. "I just couldn't stay asleep. I guess I was too excited."

"Excited?" Gray had a pretty good idea just what had excited the pinkette so much. 'He probably wants to have a fight with me soon.' Of course, that was Natsu. Always looking for ways to get stronger. And that usually meant fights and thinking with his fists. It was about that time did Gray notice that something, or rather, someone missing. "…Where's Happy?"

"He's staying with Lisanna for now while I…hang with you." He had to be careful about he worded his sentence, he didn't want Gray to snap again like he did earlier. Apparently he did it correctly, for Gray didn't give a scowl or a glare. The rest of the way back was quiet, but not uncomfortably so. Natsu took the chance to think about a few things before they reached the apartment, and stole glances at Gray every now and then. The mage's eyes would watch the crowd carefully as he kept his head down under the hood and made sure to keep his left hand in his pocket. Really, Natsu didn't really understand why Gray was so freaked out about his appearance. The people of Magnolia and Fiore would understand the sacrifice he made and accept his new look. The guild did, without any problems whatsoever, so the public would too. In fact, Gray's new demon side looked kinda…cool. It seemed to match him in a way. And that eye…

Gray felt on edge being in a crowded area, but his attention was also focused on the fact that Natsu kept glancing at him. It made him think back about when he was still asleep, stuck floating in the darkness that filled his world. He remembered the voice he'd hear, what the voice had said. A few sentences were fuzzy and unclear, but he remembered quite a few of them.

"Gray? Gray! Wake up! Hey man, come on!"
"He's going to be alright, right?"
"What do you mean there's no cure? There has to be! Let me go! No! I refuse to believe it!"
"Hey, ice-block. You plan on waking up any time soon? The guild's getting kinda boring without you. Not to mention I'm getting tired of sitting in this chair all day. It's friggin' uncomfortable. So if you don't want me to kick your ass, you better wake up."
"All the reporters are waiting for you to wake up so they can interview you. Lyon stopped by today, too. To check up on you. He really does care about you, even though he tries to hide it. Which he kinda fails at, you can see the worry in his eyes. He said the other guilds want to know when you wake up. Tch, aren't you the popular one..."
"Damn it, why won't you wake up?! Get up! Ya hear me? Get up!"
"Hey. The guild's really starting to worry about you. Wendy said you should have woken up a while ago. A few of the others are starting to think you might not wake up because of your…demon half. So, if you can hear me…please, wake up.
"You better be alright when you wake up. You better be alright."

Why had he only heard Natsu's voice? Was it because he harbored…special feelings for the dragon slayer? He clenched his jaw at the though. There was no way he could be in love, and least of all with Natsu. The pinkette was an idiot to the fullest and a constant pain in the ass. But, then again, he could also be kinda caring and thoughtful…and protective…and sexy–

'Okay, Gray, let's not go there and stop those thoughts before they can develop into something inappropriate,' he thought, pushing down the image of the bright smile Natsu had given earlier while cooking. That smile had been…so genuine and filled with happiness. Speaking of cooking… Gray gave a small groan when he realized he forgot to buy napkins, dish soap, and shampoo. "I have to run back to the store when he get to back to the apartment," he muttered under his breath. "I forgot to grab a few things."

"I can take the bag you have and you can go to the store now," Natsu offered, being pulled from his (almost inappropriate) thoughts. Gray looked at him warily. The pinkette was already carrying two paper bags of groceries, adding a third… "Come on, ice-block, just give me the bag and the key to your door. Getting through your window with groceries will be a little tricky without Happy to help me out."

"What is it with you and entering through windows?" He stuck the key in Natsu's pocket and carefully added the third bag to Natsu's arms. "You sure you got it?"

"I'm fine. Jeez, way to show your lack of faith in me."

"You're carrying groceries," Gray deadpanned. "How exactly is that showing lack of faith?"

"You'd be surprised." Uhh…okay then. "See ya in a few." Gray didn't bother to answer back as he turned and headed for the store once more.

Natsu was bored. He had already put the groceries away and made himself a quick snack, and was now lying on the couch staring at the ceiling. He took in a deep breath, the scent of winter and pine filling his mind. He loved how Gray smelled. '…Okay, that sounded a bit stalker-ish.' Natsu wasn't a big fan of winter, the heavy snowing could sometimes bring the lamest missions to the guild. But, he wasn't going to lie, he loved having snowball fights. It was like their pillow fights, except more awesome. And while it may have ended up with them wrapped in bandages, it was still the most fun he would have during the white season. He hated to admit it, but it was one battle where Gray would always win. (Everything had to be a competition to Natsu.) He blamed it on the fact that the mage was raised in the snowy country of Ishban and had plenty of practice with his old friends.

"Hey Gray, tell me about your hometown. What was–" Gray flinched before he turned towards Natsu and gave one of the iciest glares the pinkette had ever seen.

"Don't ask about that," Gray growled. Natsu's mouth immediately snapped shut at the mage's sudden change of attitude. He didn't fail, however, to see the pain hidden in those blue-gray eyes that were still glaring at him.

Honestly, what was wrong about asking about someone's hometown? Natsu gave a huff. He'd known Gray for nearly ten years and yet he knew so little about the mage. He knew more about Lucy, someone he'd known for only a year, than he knew about his best friend and secret crush. Why was Gray always so closed off about his feelings? "That's it," he said, trying to kill the silence that surrounded him. "When he gets back from the store, I'm asking him a crap load of questions! And nothing's gonna stop me!"

Then he heard several screams from outside. Rolling off the couch, he ran to the window in Gray's bedroom and stuck his head out the window to see what was wrong. He saw several people running through the street, one lady holding her crying daughter in her arms. "It was a monster, mommy!" A monster? In the middle of Magnolia?! That couldn't be right. He heard several more remarks from people as he hurried on by.

"It was a demon!"
"A demon you say?"
"Yeah, it had to be. You saw those markings."
"That was no human."
"But it looked like a human, didn't it?"

Natsu gave a frown. Demons and monsters in the middle of a city. Yeah, it made perfect sense. If it was an actual demon or monster, there'd be a lot more panic going on and the sound of building being destroyed would probably echo through the city. He brought his head back into the apartment and closed the window, heading back towards the living room. As soon as he sat down on the couch though, the door slammed open and in came a panting Gray; startling Natsu back to his feet. The ice mage kicked the door and it closed with a loud slam. "What's–"

"Damn it!" Gray punched the wall nearest to him with enough force to create cracks.

"Gray? What's wro–"

"They saw," Gray grit out. Natsu still looked confused and he shook his head.

"I don't–"

"My hood came off and they saw what I look like!" Gray yelled, turning to face the pinkette. The dragon slayer took a step back when his eyes landed on Gray's demonized eye. The red that had been only rimming the edge of the iris had thrown slightly thicker. Natsu blinked, thinking back to what he just heard out the window. They couldn't have been talking about Gray…right?

"So, that screaming happened–"

"Because I'm a demon," Gray finished through clenched teeth.

Natsu gave a frown at the words. "You're not a demon, Gray. Just because half of you has been demonized doesn't mean that you–"

"Leave."

"What?"

"Leave. I want to be alone right now." The order came quietly and the tone left no room for arguments. Natsu hesitated for a moment, unsure whether leaving Gray alone at the moment was a good idea, before heading towards the door. He turned to ask the ice mage if he was sure he didn't want any company when Gray let out a small growl, "Go." The pinkette left, closing the door behind him. Gray gave a heavy sigh and headed for the couch, sitting down and running his hand through hair. He felt the headache from earlier turn into a migraine and he massaged his temples in an attempt to ease the pain.

Gray had been thinking of Natsu when a breeze had come by, blowing his hood back and revealing his face to the public. "I was distracted," he muttered, giving a sneer. "Just like when we were fight those Hatchlings." He had been distracted from the battle, trying to tell Juvia something that hadn't even been important. And that distraction had led to his death. And just now, he was distracted by thoughts surrounding Natsu when a fucking simple breeze blew his hood back. He grit his teeth once more. That was not how he planned to reveal himself to the public. He wanted to do it through Sorcerer Weekly, that way at least the people would read why he looked like that now. It was a much more calmer way to come out. He remembered the horrified and surprised expressions of those who saw his face, and the terrified scream of a little girl seeing a monster.

No, not a monster...

A demon.

"Where's Gray?" Natsu was suddenly startled from his thoughts and he took a step back, looking up to see who was talking to him and where he was. He was surprised to see he'd walked himself to the guild, and that it was Erza talking to him. He gave a blink. Wasn't she, Lucy, and Gajeel supposed to be going on a mission today? "I asked where Gray is. Is he alright?"

"Gray's fine," Natsu answered. "Well, not exactly fine. He's kinda pissed right now. And he's at home. Why?"

"I just heard what happened," Erza stated. "When we heard screams, we turned around and came to see what was going on. Several scared and concerned citizens came to ask Master to get rid of a hooded demon walking around Magnolia." She gave a soft sigh. "I'm guessing Gray wanted to be alone at the moment?" The pinkette gave a nod to the question. "I don't blame him. His secret coming out so soon and suddenly… He must be pretty stressed."

"I think he's just overreacting," Natsu muttered. Erza's eyes hardened a little.

"I have a feeling you don't fully understand just how pressuring this is on Gray. He might be the first half-human half-demon being in the continent and he doesn't know how it's going to affect him."

"Well if he hadn't demonized himself to begin with, this never would have happened! I would have been fine in that fight! He's always so damn protective of his friends, like he's afraid we're gonna die at the drop of a hat." Okay, so maybe he knew he probably would not have been fine if that curse Momento Mori had hit him head on, and yeah he was slightly over exaggerating of how protective Gray was of his friends, but that wasn't the point! Lucy, who had just walked up to Erza, gave a blink at Natsu's words.

"Well you can't blame him," Lucy said. "I would probably be protective of my friends too if I were him."

"What do you mean?"

"Huh? Wait, you do know about Gray's past, don't you?"

"He wasn't there when Gray explained it," Erza reminded Lucy. Natsu looked between the two female mages, waiting for one of them to answer his question.

"Oh yeah. Well, Gray lived in Ishban growing up, but one day Deliora appeared. The demon destroyed his entire city in under a day. He lost every person he'd ever known, and everything he loved had been stripped away so suddenly. That was when Ur discovered him in a pile of rubble. She took him in and taught him magic, but he wasn't exactly satisfied with what she was teaching. He didn't realize back then exactly how maker magic worked. Then he heard that Deliora was nearby, and decided to leave Ur and challenge the demon himself. He thought in order to get rid of all the darkness and anger inside himself, he'd have to kill Deliora himself. And… You know the rest," Lucy quietly finished.

"He…He lost everyone?" Natsu was nearly speechless. When Igneel left, Natsu felt his heart throb so painfully he thought it would literally break. When Lisanna died, he felt a part of him suddenly become empty. Losing a friend had been so hard, and having Igneel leave him when he was younger had hurt so much…

But to imagine losing both parents?

To imagine having your home and entire city destroyed before your very eyes?

To imagine losing every single friend and person you've ever known?

And then to lose your teacher to the same demon?

"A decade ago, this immortal demon ravaged Ishban. Countless people lost their lives…"
"If that ice melts and Deliora's revived, there's no way we'd be able to stop it."
"They have no idea how horrific Deliora and its wrath is!"
"But Ur would still be alive if it wasn't for Gray!"
"The fact Ur died because of me will never change, no matter how much times passes. I have to take responsibility for it at some point. I'm going to do it here. I've been prepared to die for the past ten years!"
"I can't worry about the future! I have to do this to keep it from killing us all right now!"
"NATSU!"

Natsu couldn't even begin to imagine how painful that must have been, or how traumatizing. It was no wonder Gray had been so shaken when he saw the demon from his past appear on Galuna island. And it was no wonder Gray was so ready to use Iced Shell to stop the demon; he'd rather die than see anymore people he cared about die. "I had no idea," Natsu whispered under his breath. He'd noticed Gray was overprotective of friends a lot of times, but he just thought that was how Gray was. For him to be like that because he was afraid of losing yet another friend…

"Hey Gray, tell me about your hometown. What was–"
"Don't ask about that."

"We should leave him alone for a while," Erza said. "Come, Natsu. I'll buy you something to eat."

"Y-Yeah," he said, coming out of his thoughts. "Something to eat sounds good."

That was a lie.

He was far from being hungry.

Sorry it's short. And there is a reason why Gray's face was shown so soon to the public. All shall be revealed. Muahaha! XD And I apologize for the chapter coming out so late! I had to get the FT dvd's from storage and rematch the Galuna Island mission to actually see if Natsu had heard anything about Gray's past. Hope this chapter was okay-ish! If anything seemed out of place, lemme know please! Thank you! And take mah poll if you're free a moment?

~»roo the ice elemental psycho«