Omg you guys are the sweetest bunch of reviewers x.x I was nervous to even post this and I'm really glad you're all enjoying this story and actually sticking around to read it haha.

I am starting school this coming Thursday but I hope to get in quite a few updates before then so stay tuned. :D and please keep reviewing it keeps me motivated.

I may end up drawing this out-keep you updated on that as well. (Also that chess line? so glad you guys enjoyed Cassandra's witty reply...I almost left it out but it was just to tempting to keep it there.)

The war meeting was long and stressful. Especially considering Cullen had a hard time focussing despite how serious the situation was. Hawke and Amelia were currently in the midst of a debate over the grey wardens as they discussed how to approach the issue.

The meeting resulted in Amelia leaving with Hawke for Crestwood. They were going to meet up with some warden known as Stroud-and Hawke's elven companion Fenris refused to do more than scowl slightly as they left Skyhold.

Cullen rubbed a hand over his face, it had been a few days since Amelia had left and the news they received by bird were not sounding good. She was on her way back now to discuss their next move-with Hawke, Stroud and Fenris in tow. The grey wardens had fallen under Corypheus's control now as well.

It was difficult to fill his thoughts with the words on his reports when his mind was filled with a million different questions. Thankfully it only took a few more hours before Amelia returned.

His hopes to catch her alone were dashed however, her stride was purposeful and upon catching his gaze over by the recruits she motioned with her chin towards the main hall of Skyhold and he dismissed his men before jogging to catch up with her.

"Commander I've sent a servant ahead to inform the others of a war meeting to be held immediately." She was all business and Cullen's disappointment was shoved aside by the serious tone of her voice.

He nodded his head to her. " Of course." his head turned to regard the tired gazes of her returning companions-even The Iron Bull seemed to be nursing some wounds.

Hawke was but a step behind them, Fenris standing next to her and slightly supporting her weight, the two whispered softly and Cullen looked away to give them some measure of privacy-and also because Fenris's glare was hot enough to physically burn.

Cullen remembered the elf vaguely from Kirkwall-he was almost always with Hawke and the two had a relationship that as far as he had been aware...was complicated. That was putting it mildly-for awhile they seemed to be angry with each other but it seems now that they only relied on each other.

Though Hawke and Varric were still very close, Cullen couldn't help but wonder about Hawke's other companions...why weren't they helping her now.

Aveline at least had an excuse. The others however didn't seem to. The sarcastic mage had the loyalty of them all as he recalled. It was odd then that the tension between her and Fenris hadn't forced them to separate-and instead he was the only one of Hawke's friends...(or rather lover) who remained by her side.

He focussed back on the matter at hand as they stepped into the war room.

He had thought the last meeting had been gruelling and nearly impossible to get through. Compared to this one however-that one seemed like a breeze.

Amelia explained with a tired and grave voice that Adamant was their target as the Grey wardens planned to 'end all blights' through the use of blood magic. This of course would only lead to the strange future she had witnessed with Dorian. Of a demon army striding across Thedas.

Hawke bitterly said she had, had enough of mages believing blood magic would improve a situation.

They arranged the time to march and all retreated to their own rooms. Cullen however had more on his mind than just the march.

He wasn't sure he was ready for his role in it. Yes he could fight but these were mages...they didn't have many Templars on their side. Meaning they might need more help shutting down these mages-its not that he doubted his men or even Amelia herself. But he still worried. He slammed the door to his tower closed and turned around, staring at the box left open on his desk.

His lyrium. Untouched for months.

He had already argued with Cassandra over needing a replacement. Amelia knew he wasn't taking the lyrium..but didn't know he had asked Cassandra to replace him.

He bent over his desk, staring at the box with a hard unwavering gaze.

I should be taking it...

the words echoed over and over in his mind.

He should be taking it, the inquisition needed him at his best. He couldn't let Amelia down-...couldn't let anyone down again.

He scowled and growled in frustration before turning-throwing the box across the room-he hadn't heard her entered but his eyes widened in fear as Amelia ducked rapidly-the box flying over her and smashing against the door she had just opened.

'Maker's breath...I didn't hear you enter...I..." He walked around the corner of his desk and stumbled. "...Forgive me." He begged-ducking his head to avoid her gaze.

She would have none of it-he knew that even as he did it, her footsteps were quick as she approached, hands gentle on the side of his face lifting his chin and forcing his gaze to meet hers.

"Cullen..." Worry dripped from that one word. "Do you need to talk?" Her head turned-looking at the lyrium kit he had thrown across the room. "Are you going to be alright?"

Her gaze caught his again and he reluctantly tugged her hands away from his face. " Yes...I...I don't know."

"You asked me once." his voice faltered for a moment. "What happened at Fereldan's circle...it was taken over by abominations." He dropped his head shaking it as he turned away from her. "The templars...my friends...were slaughtered." He made his way slowly to the window looking out of it as he continued. " I was...tortured." he turned towards her a bit. Seeing the horrified expression on her face. "They tried to break my mind and I...heh..how can you be the same person after that? Still..I wanted to serve...They sent me to Kirkwall." His lips twisted in a sneer and he kept glancing from the wall back to her...his movements and gestures jerky. "I trusted my knight commander and for what hm?" he looked at her as if she held an answer. "Her fear of mages ended in madness." He looked down at his hands as they shook. "Kirkwall's circle fell" He raised his head to peer out of the window again. "Innocent people died in the streets. Can't you see why I want nothing to do with that life?" he demanded harshly, turning towards her suddenly.

"Of course I can I-"

"Don't!" The word echoed and he continued relentlessly. " You should be questioning what I've done." he walked towards her as he spoke pushing her back near the bookcase. "I thought this would be better, that I could regain some control over my life, but...these thoughts won't leave me." He paced away from her but paced back again as he spoke, not letting her move away from the bookcase. "How many lives depend on our success? I swore myself to this cause! I will -not- give less to the inquisition than I did the chantry. I should be taking it." he swung towards her staring at his hand until it snapped out...smashing into the bookcase just next to her head-her eyes widening at his actions. "...I should be taking it."

The silence was deafening. He needed her to speak..needed her to...

Her hand grasped his wrist gently. " This doesn't have to be about the inquisition...is this what you want?"

He stared at her, their faces inches apart as they have been many times before...but there was no urge to kiss her right this moment...he sighed-his fingers uncurling he let his arm fall and so did she. "But...these memories ...have always haunted me...If I become worse...if..if I can not endure it.."

She shook her head and reached up...cupping his cheek. "...You can." she whispered-the confidence she had in him shone in her eyes, echoed in her voice. He stared at her...still unsure of how she could believed in him...a broken templar.

He sighed though leaning forward and pressing his forehead to hers..."Alright..."

His voice broke and she sighed his name...wrapping her arms around him.

"...I'm sorry." he whispered. "This doubt..had been eating at me. It's easier to ignore when you...when we.."

She smiled at him. her fingers trailing across his lips, brushing her thumb over the scar. His lips parted at the contact. "I know."

"...Please...please just be careful at Adamant...I will do what I must but...just promise me you'll come back."

She was silent for a moment but then leaned up and kissed him softly for but a moment. "...Always."

He wrapped his arms around her tightly. Breathing in her scent.

As he watched her chase after the tevinter mage at Adamant...he heard nothing but her words in his head.

He fought on the front lines but her promise became a mantra in his mind.

"Come back..."

Always.