Chapter Four

The next morning, Arthur went to see Merlin as soon as he got dressed and had his breakfast.

Yesterday was a close-call. And it had shaken Merlin up quite a lot, enough that he was even more reluctant than usual to let Arthur leave. He had grasped his wrist and nearly begged him to stay the night with him, although he was smart enough to understand the reasons why Arthur couldn't. But emotion and fear had overridden all sense of logic in that moment, and Arthur understood. He really did. Not in the way that he knew all the horrors his friend was forced to live through, he could never really understand that, but in the way that he had seen a lot of his scars and all the anguish of his broken life in his eyes and the desperation and terror in his voice when he told him that he didn't want to go back to what had been before.

He could understand his terror of it almost coming to that.

And Arthur had smoothed a hand gently over his friend's hair, whispered to him about how much he wished he could, but couldn't, and promised him that he'd come back tomorrow morning as soon as possible.

"Promise?" Merlin whispered back, wavering and desperate and a deep need for reassurance and comfort in his voice.

Arthur smiled softly. "I promise."

And now he was here, on his way through the caves. Merlin must probably be asleep this early, and Arthur hoped it wasn't a restless and troubled night for him.

When he reached there, he saw Merlin curled up tightly on his side, facing the wall and away from him, his bony arms wrapped around his torso.

"Merlin?"

Merlin jerked up with a gasp at the sound of his voice, instantly scrambling away into the corner, just like the first morning after they met. It twisted something inside of him to see that, feeling as if, in that second, all the progress and hard work Arthur had built with him had been regressed back to the way it had been the first time.

But Merlin relaxed, his tensed muscles slackening with relief, as soon as his eyes landed on him.

"Arthur," he said softly, smiling.

Arthur smiled back at him. "Yes, it's me." He moved forward, walking towards Merlin with another napkin of meal in his hands. "I told you I'd come back, didn't I?" he reminded as he crouched to his knees before him, setting the napkin on the ground. "And I brought breakfast."

Merlin watched him silently for a moment as Arthur spread open the corners, revealing the food. "Thank you," then Merlin said sincerely, his voice quiet and his tender eyes crinkling slightly with gratitude. "For everything."

Arthur froze, then looked up and smiled once more. "You're welcome, friend."

Merlin grinned at him, unashamedly wide and goofy and flashing teeth and crinkling blue eyes radiating joy. It was the first time Arthur had ever seen him so happy, and he wondered if it was also the first time Merlin had felt this happy since Will.

It warmed him, that he could be someone's reason for such immense joy, and it hurt him.

Because Merlin should have had more reasons to smile like that.

...

"Enter," Arthur permissioned in response to the knock without looking up from his swamped desk. As it turned out, dividing his time between work and Merlin meant a little less time for work, which meant more work piling up. His head ached.

Morgana poked in around the door, before stepping in fully and closing the door behind her.

"Morgana!" Arthur said, surprised and curious about her sudden visit. Their meets and greets often happened while they ran into each other in the hallways, but if Morgana ever came all the way to his chambers, it was often for something important. "What a pleasant surprise. Now what the hell do you want?" he said, very sarcastically and rudely, he might add, but he relished in the flash of annoyance in her expression.

She immediately schooled her features after a while. "Such a gentleman, you are," Morgana quipped, smirking slightly.

"Yes, yes." Arthur waved dismissively. "Now get to the point."

"Are you working?" she stalled further, smiling sweetly.

"Yes, hence why I need you to hurry up so that I can get back to it," Arthur retorted, returning her sweet smile mockingly.

Morgana walked gracefully around him until she was standing over his shoulder, having a clear sight of all his paperwork. "That's a lot."

Arthur sighed, surrendering to her company. "A lot, indeed. It'll take me an entire night, at least."

Silence ensued as Arthur went back to his tasks and Morgana watched.

"Who is she?" then she blurted out suddenly.

Arthur froze.

"She who?" he asked confusedly, twisting his head to look up at her.

"Oh please, I hope you didn't think you were being stealthy by disappearing into thin air for hours on end," Morgana replied, rolling her eyes. "I did notice that I haven't been seeing you around as much I used to."

Arthur opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "Is it that obvious?" he questioned, stunned at how apparent his absence was, his brow furrowing with astonishment and bewilderment. He could have sworn he was being careful. But perhaps, it wasn't enough. For a prince who had too much to do in a day, and someone who was bound to be noticed by the entire room whenever he walked in, maybe it could never be enough.

"Yes," Morgana answered bluntly. "Now tell me, who is she?"

...

"What is it like to live here?" Merlin asked. The food had long since been finished, the empty napkin still laid on the dusty ground.

Arthur frowned thoughtfully, contemplating an answer for his question. "Well... peaceful, I suppose." He shrugged. "When it's not being attacked or cursed. Camelot seems to be a beacon for all kinds of enemies."

Merlin chuckled amusedly. "Really?"

"Really," Arthur repeated.

Silence.

"What about... Ealdor?" Arthur questioned quietly, his tone careful. "Do you remember anything about it?"

"Just pieces," Merlin responded, shrugging. He slowly picked up a part of the hem of his tunic and fiddled with it, looking down at it as he always did every time he spoke of his past. "It was just... so long ago. I barely remember it." He paused, and then he snorted mirthlessly. "I've had so many other memories and details to replace it, since the last time I was there."

Arthur nodded and shifted his gaze to his hands, and they fell back into another silence.

"When the Bounty Hunter leaves some day, once he's given up searching for you," Arthur said after a while, and he looked up at him with a small smile. "I'll take you to your home again."

...

That day came sooner than Arthur expected, just about a week later. He wasn't complaining though. If anything, he took the greatest pleasure watching his departure through his windows.

And when he went to see Merlin that evening, he could barely contain his exhilaration as he rushed through the tunnels. His footsteps padded lightly against the ground, making enough sound to alert Merlin of his arrival as he knew he was easily startled after that entire incident with Halig and his search party discovering this place.

When he reached his destination, the first thing he did was stride over to his friend and gather him in his arms, holding him and squeezing him tightly. It puzzled and pushed all the air out of Merlin, but nevertheless, through a breathless laugh, he asked, "What happened?"

Arthur released him, but his hands still remained on his shoulders. He grinned at him. "He's gone!" he exclaimed excitedly, and he could only imagine Merlin's ebullience at the news.

Merlin stilled. Arthur stared at him, smiling achingly hard until his cheeks felt stiff and stuck, nearly bouncing on his feet with his joy while he grasped his shoulders.

And Merlin's own face split into a grin, identical to Arthur's, and he released a rejoiced huff of breath. He seemed freer as he did so, something easy and light shining in his eyes and relaxing his entire posture, like a large burden had been lifted from his shoulders (and maybe it had). Merlin reached out his arms and initiated the embrace himself this time, wrapping it around his friend's neck tightly as he laughed against his shoulder.

"You can go home now," Arthur murmured.

He pretended not to notice the tears soaking his tunic, and just closed his eyes and tightened his arms around him.

...

They snuck out of the castle the following night, Arthur having spent the rest of the day gathering supplies for the trip, which consisted of nothing more than a few pairs of clothes, some food and a few medical items for emergencies as an extra precaution. They stole the horses from the stables, and if Arthur was seen by a couple of guards while he did so, they never questioned him.

The horses galloped through the gates, into tantivy, as their hooves beat against the ground.

...

The fire combusted in the wood, spreading and gathering until it was reaching up high. It set the moonlit area alight with a rich yellow glow, dancing off of their eyes and reflecting its orange in their blue orbs, and their shadows embedded in the light. It also signified the sadness in Merlin's features.

"What's wrong?" Arthur asked as he settled beside him, shoulder-to-shoulder, on the log.

Merlin smiled slightly, shook his head and glanced down at his hands. "It's just..." He paused, sighed wistfully, and shrugged. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'll come visit, once or twice a year," Arthur reassured, smiled at him even as the heaviness inside him grew.

"I wish I could be with you forever."

Silence ensued. Arthur stared at him, and wished the same.

But he knew that Merlin would be happier with his mother. His village that he had been torn so callously away from, and for such a long time. He should be there forever.

"Hey," he coaxed gently as he saw Merlin's bowed eyes well up with tears. He slid off the log, knelt before him and took his hands in his, causing Merlin to look at his face once more. "You're going home. To your mother. Your village. And you're going to be happy. You're going to live a great life as a... a farmer or whatever," Merlin laughed. Arthur smiled, which faded shortly into something a little sadder. "And it'll only be a matter of time before you forget about me."

The last words sent a pang in his chest. But he knew it was true. He wished it wasn't, but it was. What was he, a man who knew him for only a week, among the people Merlin's entire life was supposed to be with? People forget the ones they leave behind and grow to love the ones they're with instead, especially the ones they've only known for a short while.

"You're wrong, Arthur," Merlin whispered, convicted and soft. "I can never forget you." He flipped their hands so that he was the one holding Arthur's instead, and he leaned forward, staring him in the eye with a tender sincerity. "It has been a long, long time, since I've felt like I was capable of being loved. Since I've felt like I was worth something. And it's all because of you. You saved me, in more ways than one. And I cannot thank you enough for that. And I can certainly never forget you."

The crackle of fire was the only sound in the silence for a while, and Arthur could only stare for moments, speechless at those words. He still didn't know what to say even after that long, so he let the smile blooming on his lips respond for him, and he moved up and pressed a small kiss against his friend's forehead.

He drew back and rubbed his hair, grinning. "Get some sleep, Merlin. It's a long day ahead tomorrow."

Author's Note: Hi! Long time no see, y'all. How you doing? :D

So this story is almost coming to an end. Just one more chapter and an epilogue. I did mean to make this a short story! But I hope you enjoyed their little journey so far. Thank you for all your support, love, patience and loyalty! It means the world to me that you even gave this story a chance and stuck around until now. *hugs* You are awesome. Never forget that!

Have a lovely day!