"You know, Murdock, when Hannibal said we come in as janitors, I really don't think he meant for us to clean anything," Face said. He was sure in the time it had taken for them to stop and do this, that B.A. had already torn apart every apartment on the top floor of the building looking for his girlfriend.

"If we don't, we won't look convincing," Murdock replied as he finished scrubbing the hallway floor on the 8th floor of the complex.

"Hmm, not bad," Face observed as he saw how the tile shone and sparkled, "Do they happen to have latrine duty in the Air Force?"

Murdock loaded up the cleaning cart and he and Face made their way over to the elevator and got in and took it up to the 19th floor to see if B.A. had had any luck in finding Melissa yet.

Face crossed his arms against his chest and asked, "So what do you think, Murdock, still think this Melissa is just a figment of B.A.'s imagination?"

"Well we still haven't seen hide or hair of her yet," Murdock answered, "It's still a possibility."

"Okay, so explain this to me," Face said, "If B.A. is going crazy on us…"

"It's a bit long overdue, don't you think?" Murdock asked.

"Well that's beside the point," Face said, "What would he have to gain by dragging us all the way out here on a wild goose chase?"

"Well that's the beauty of being insane," Murdock told him, "Things cease making sense and that's when they seem the most logical."

"Ah," Face said sarcastically, "That explains everything. Boy you know this sure is a real upscale kind of place. I wonder what kind of people live here?"

"I don't know," Murdock looked up at the red floor number, "I've hardly seen anybody yet."

"I know, I haven't seen anybody yet either, but man this sure is some place. And…the penthouse is completely unoccupied," Face remembered, "Hmmm…"

Whatever he was thinking came to an abrupt halt as they reached the 19th floor and got out of the elevator. They found B.A. down the hall standing outside a door looking frustrated and anxious.

"What's wrong, B.A.?" Face asked.

"She won't answer the door," B.A. said, "I can't hear anything in there either." He pointed to the other apartment doors and added, "I've been banging on every door to see if anybody knows where she is, nobody's home."

Face caught Murdock looking at him and he rolled his eyes and said, "Alright, alright, everybody stand aside," and produced a lock pick from the cuff of his janitor coveralls.

In no time he had the bolt sprung and threw the door wide open, B.A. stepped in and they followed and saw the apartment was a nice, large, cozy looking place that said 'money', not necessarily an overabundance of it, but this was no slum. But there was also no sign of anybody occupying the place. Just to make sure, B.A. checked the kitchen, the bedroom and the bathroom, no sign of anybody.

"I don't get it," B.A. said, "Where is she?"

"Maybe she went shopping," Murdock suggested.

"She knew we were coming today," B.A. told the others, "Something's wrong." He took out his walkie talkie and called down to the van, "Hannibal, you see anybody come out of the building?" There was some kind of crackle of static but otherwise no response, B.A. tried again but couldn't raise anything.

"You know," Face said slowly in dread, "This has all the nice makings of a grade A booby trap to catch us."

"Naw, booby traps are for boobs, they'd have to be looking for four other guys," Murdock replied.

B.A. wasn't paying attention to their jibber jabber. "I'll go see what's keeping Hannibal, you guys stay here incase she comes back."

"Oh sure, leave us in the lion's den," Face murmured.

"More like the lion's mouth," Murdock replied as they shed their coveralls and stuffed them in the cleaning cart.

"Well, what do you make of it, Murdock?" Face asked.

"Well," Murdock folded his arms against his chest and glanced around the apartment, "No sign of a struggle, door wasn't tampered with…windows look nice and locked…maybe she had a dentist appointment."

"You know…" Face looked around, "On one hand, it's not polite to look through other people's things."

"That's true," Murdock agreed and nodded his head.

"But then again," Face added in a sly tone, "B.A.'s not here."

"Yeah?"

"There's certainly no woman here," Face told him.

"Yeah."

"So who's going to be the wiser if we do?" Face asked, "At least we could get an idea of who lives here."

"Right on, Faceman," Murdock said, "I like how you think…sometimes."

Murdock made a beeline for the bedroom while Face checked out the contents of the living room. On the coffee table he found paperwork and bills addressed to Melissa Morrison. Well, at least now they had a full name to identify this woman by, ever since B.A. met her all they'd heard was Melissa this and Melissa that, never a Melissa-last name. It sure wasn't often that B.A. had a girlfriend, least of all that they knew about, but Face couldn't recall him having one before that had such an effect on him as this woman apparently did. Murdock describing him as a puddle of pudding hadn't exactly been far off, it was a bit unnerving seeing their big bad Sergeant turn into a giggling boob whenever the thought of this woman came to him. She must've really been something. He sorted through the papers: upcoming dentist exam, insurance premiums, jury duty notice…check that, jury duty cancelation, bill for car service, and a lot of junk mail. He decided to save this woman the trouble whenever she got back and dropped those promptly into the wastebasket.

"Find anything, Murdock?" he asked.

"I sure did," Murdock announced from the bedroom, "But I'm not sure what it means."

"What do you mean what it means?" Face asked.

Murdock came out of the bedroom carrying something on a hanger, it was a brightly colored, long bodied, shimmering dress that looked like it could've fit the two of them together. He held it up next to him in comparison and showed the thigh high slits in the skirt came down towards his knees.

"Sheesh," Face said, "Looks like B.A. got himself a date with the 50 foot woman."

"I wonder where she is?" Murdock asked, "You wouldn't think a woman this size would be hard to find…that'd be like playing hide and seek with Chewbacca."

It was at that moment that they heard a faint sound coming from up above. Both men looked to the ceiling and heard the sound grow louder, a persistent pounding on the floor.

"What's that?" Murdock asked inquisitively.

Before realizing it, Face answered, "Sounds like a pair of spiked heels."

Murdock flashed a look at him that said 'I don't even want to know how you know that', they looked to the ceiling again and headed out to the hall and ran up the stairs to the penthouse. The deadbolt was in place but fortunately the door had been left ajar by a fraction of an inch so they just pushed the door open and went in. The penthouse actually turned out to be a two-story apartment, it took them a few seconds to find the master bedroom up the stairs where the pounding noise was growing persistently louder, and when they did reach the master bedroom, they both came to a dead stop in the doorway.

Tied to a large metal chair and gagged, was a well built black woman in her early 30s in a green dress that accentuated her well toned muscles, who was almost unconscious but her pitch black spiked heels continued to pound weakly against the hard floor in a last ditch effort to be discovered.

"Melissa?" Face asked as they approached her, "Melissa Morrison?" he grabbed the gag in her mouth and yanked it out in one swift pull.

The woman got out an exhausted moan of relief as her head dropped in fatigue. After a couple of heavy breaths, she opened her eyes and saw the two men standing in front of her and asked, "Who're you?"

"I'm Howlin' Mad Murdock, and this is the Faceman," Murdock introduced them.

The woman's eyes perked up slightly, "You're B.A.'s friends. Boy am I glad to see you."

"What happened to you?" Face asked as he set to work untying her hands behind her back.

She let out a grunted laugh and said, "That's a long story, where is B.A.?"

"Oh well he uh…he's downstairs securing the perimeters and everything like that," Murdock said, "He'll be up shortly."

"Securing the perimeters, huh?" Melissa chuckled weakly, "Little late for that."

"Well whoever it was," Face noted, "Sure didn't want you getting loose. Used three sets of ropes. No wonder you couldn't get out."

"Yeah tell me about it," she said, "I've only been trying for three hours."

Murdock got on the floor and set to work untying the ropes that bound her feet together, hoping to God she wasn't ticklish and accidentally kicked him in the face with one of those heels. Already he could tell the angry mudsucker had interesting taste in women. It actually surprised him that she hadn't been able to just break out of here, from the view he had, she looked built like the Incredible Hulk's girlfriend.

"So uh," Face cleared his throat, "Can you tell us who did this to you?"

"I can take a guess," she replied.

"Ah, then you didn't see them?" Murdock looked up.

"No," she answered, "That pesky rule about when you're cracked in the back of the head and subsequently knocked out."

"Point taken," Murdock returned his gaze to the matter at hand of getting her legs free from the ropes. He looked up and considered the awkward position they were both in, and continued to hope that he didn't get his face kicked in, should she mistakenly assume he was trying to look up her skirt.

When the last of the ropes were cut loose, Melissa stood up, and immediately both men felt like they were all of six inches tall. In her heels, she had to be 6'4 at least, out of them she wouldn't be much shorter, around as tall as the two of them, definitely intimidating. It seemed obvious what B.A. must've seen in her: her arms were like two giant pythons, her dress did little to conceal every bulging muscle in her physique; the dress had two slits down the sides revealing her thighs were practically bigger than Face's and Murdock's put together. The part Face couldn't figure out was for her being roughly their height, she was longer bodied than they were, and it seemed longer legged to boot, he didn't get it, but he wasn't going to question it and risk her twisting him into a pretzel.

"Whoo," Murdock quietly murmured in awe, "Hello Treetop."

Face just stood there for a minute with a blank look on his face and his mouth hanging open like an idiot, until Murdock elbowed him and brought him back to the here and now.

"Well uh…" he stammered momentarily, "It's…it…it's nice to finally meet you."

"Yeah well, I would've preferred it being under different circumstances," Melissa replied dismissively.

"Uh…right," Face said, "Well uh…why don't we go see what's keeping B.A.?"

"Fine with me," she said as she stormed out of the penthouse apartment ahead of them.

"Hannibal, you getting to be as crazy as that fool, Murdock."

"You always say that," Hannibal responded as they stepped in the front doors of the building.

"That's because you' always crazy," B.A. told him, "I can't believe you did that, man. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking…"

Hannibal set a bag down and stopped in front of a mirror on the wall to admire his black wig with oh so slight traces of white here and there, especially around the sideburns, and the bad complexion he'd given himself, complete with a little cheek padding and slight cleft in the chin to make himself all the more convincing, "That we've got a leg up with a little star power. The police think we've gotten the okay with the owner of the building, and the city officials, to film here, and they have to keep the block evacuated until further everybody knows to stay out of the building, and out of our way, unless they want to get sued by half the people in Hollywood."

"Those people were nuts," B.A. said, "You don't look like no movie star."

"That's where you're wrong, B.A.," Hannibal replied, flying high on his ego as both actor and makeup specialist, "Like this, I'm a dead ringer for Robert Vaughn."

"No you ain't," B.A. said.

"Well, everybody out there certainly thought I was," Hannibal answered as they headed up the stairs, "I even signed a few autographs."

"How did you ever pull that one off?" B.A. wanted to know.

Hannibal was trying not to laugh but it spilled out and he was about sick from amusement as he explained, "A few years back when I started doing the rubber monster stunt gigs in Hollywood, Face got work as a gofer to stick close by incase Lynch would drop in on us, you know, go-for this, go-for that…"

"I know what a gofer is," B.A. said, "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Well about 3 years ago," Hannibal explained as they came up to the second floor and headed for the elevator, satisfied that no traps had been set for their arrival thus far, "Face knew the right place to be at when they were making that movie 'Battle Beyond the Stars', got Mr. Vaughn to sign for a special delivery package…he kept the paper and we both tried our hand at recreating his signature, just incase it would ever come in handy. And today it did."

"I still say you as crazy as Murdock," B.A. told him.

"Thanks for noticing," Hannibal said.

"Neither of the radios are working," B.A. said to Hannibal.

Hannibal stopped in mid-step and said, "I thought you said you checked everything before we left."

"I did," B.A. replied.

Hannibal shrugged and continued moving towards the elevator, "A little snafu here and there keeps you on your toes. I'll head up and see what Face and Murdock have found, you wait about…" he checked his watch, "Five minutes, and come up after me."

"What for?" B.A. asked.

"More confusing that way," Hannibal said.

"You can say that again," B.A. told him.

Hannibal got in the elevator and went up, but got off on the 17th floor. If anybody was up there waiting for him, somebody he didn't want waiting for him, he wasn't going to make it easy to just jump out and attack him. Let them scratch their heads while he walked up the last two floors. He took his time, and listened with every step. He could hear muffled voices from up above but couldn't make out who they were or what was being said. He reached into his black jacket and pulled out a gun and got ready as he climbed up the stairs to the 19th floor. The voices had stopped halfway up the stairs, he looked around in every direction as he cautiously made one step up, then another, then another. His foot slipped second step from the top, he grabbed the railing with his free hand and pressed his weight against it. His heart sped up a few extra beats. In the back of his head he flashed on that detective Arboghast in the movie 'Psycho'. That was the real scare of the movie because nobody ever talked about it, so it wasn't expected. White knuckled, he finally let go of the railing and stepped up to the 19th floor, and from there he carefully stepped down the hall, watching and listening for any sign of anything, and there was nothing.

Hannibal came to the end of the hall and just as he started to round the corner, he felt somebody grab his wrist in an iron grip; his arm was jerked straight out to the side and before he could see who his attacker was, he saw a leg swing at him and felt a foot plant itself hard against his stomach and felt his guts and intestines all knock together, and he fell back, and flat on the floor.

"What happened?" Face's voice rang out as footsteps were heard running towards the scene.

"I think she just killed The Man from U.N.C.L.E.," Murdock commented.

Face dropped to his knees to get a better look and said in horror, "It's Hannibal!"

"Who's that?" Melissa asked.

"That's our leader!" Murdock said.

Melissa Morrison did a double take and told them, "I thought he was one of the men that knocked me out."

"Hannibal, you alright?" Face asked as he tried to get the older man's attention.

Hannibal's head was lulled to the side and he seemed to be unconscious, almost, he managed to roll his head to the front again and looked up at his men and asked weakly, "What…happened?"

"Hannibal," Face gestured to the woman standing behind them, "This is B.A.'s girlfriend."

"I see," he weakly responded, his eyes all but closed but he managed a twisted smile up at the large woman and said, "Ah…you…pretty…thing…" then his head jerked to the side again as he threw up and promptly passed out.