Heheh… hey everyone. I don't really have an excuse here, except that I've just felt like being lazy (I found my copy of Fire Emblem Awakening and have been playing like crazy) and that (I'm only telling you this because I consider you guys friends) I no longer have a girlfriend… I now have a fiancée, so… yeah. Had to plan all sorts of stuff—primarily how I'm asking. Might tell you guys sometime, might not. Also I've been watching The Hobbit, The Grand Budapest Hotel, and writing stories for The Hobbit and Legend of Zelda. Plus I've tried to work on some of my other stories. Like I said, nothing really to say here, except that this chapter is going to be 100% a DREAM. Ivre shall have passed out, and he shall be dreaming this—it is NOT REAL. It's going to be based purely off of an episode of Spongebob—Graveyard Shift (one of the absolute GREATEST episodes)—except instead of the Krusty Krab… it's going to be the Grand Panempest Hotel. Enjoy~
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the references I make, nor The Hunger Games.
Once, there was a wide pass several kilometres wide and more than twice that many deep. A constant snow blanketed the area, even in spring and summer; the plants that thrived in the perpetual cold were all of the northern sort—very tall and thick, with dense canopies of leaves or thin blades of needles. There was a hotel on one side of the pass, a great big one with high roofs and gables and towers; a small, shabby (crappy is more the word for it) motel stood exactly opposite it on the other side. Cable cars ran through the area constantly, for the slopes were quite excellent for skiing and snowboarding. The owner of the great hotel, Dane Eclater, was constantly at odds with his former friend and current rival, the owner of the other hotel; his name was Etho Pierce.
The Grand Panempest Hotel – 16:00
"Ian! Alexandre! Get your lazy arses up here!" thunders Dane Eclater, the esteemed owner of The Grand Panempest Hotel. He is a tanned man with long brown hair that is tied tidily in a ponytail; he wears a black suit with a red lapel, and a pair of glasses. His violet eyes are slanted into a slight scowl.
"Yes sir?" asks Alexandre "Gustave H." Ivre, the hotel's devoted concierge, beloved by many, despite his drunken nature. The tall man's hair is brown and tidy—for once; this is the first time in three months that his hair hasn't been disheveled from… various activities with guests; he wears a faded t-shirt and jeans, though he manages to look rather nice in them. Beside him stands the lobby boy, Ian "Zero" Partridge, who also serves as the best friend and sidekick to our dear concierge. His hair is of a silvery colour (think of Kabuto from Naruto) and his skin is very pale; a white collared shirt and black pants are his outfit, with red and black tennis shoes and a black pin that reads "The Grand Panempest Hotel" on his breast pocket.
"Look around, boys. What do you see?" says Eclater curtly, spreading his hands and gesturing around.
The concierge-lobby boy duo look around at the hotel. The sight is rather impressive: the lobby is a huge hall with many leather couches and chairs and fireplaces. A grand fireplace rests right below where the check-in desk is, an artificial fire blazing brightly inside its cage; several elevators are scattered throughout the room, and twin staircases sit resolute with each other, with several smaller staircases extending off of their landings, with all heading up to the various rooms. So many chandeliers and lamps are spread throughout the lobby, and bookcases and shelves galore with not only books but with statues and scrolls and various other amazing things line the walls. Normally this view would be amazing, especially from their spot at the check-in desk… were it not for the fact that the hotel is almost completely empty. "Nothing, sir," Ian says quietly.
"Exactly! We have almost no guests, considering Madame D. and her entourage left last week—don't you say anything, Alexandre." The owner warns; "But I can't figure out why that roach motel across the pass has so much business! I mean look at it, it's a freaking ROACH MOTEL! This is a five-star hotel!"
"Well, sir, they accept check-ins 24/7, and they also allow on-the-spot reservations," says the concierge.
"Hmm, I suppose you're right. Starting tomorrow, The Grand Panempest Hotel is open twenty-four hours a day!" says Eclater.
The Next Day, approx. 19:00
The day had gone without much interruption; Alexandre and Ian had spent the day racing baggage trolleys through the lobby (and knocking out the head chef, but that is a story for another day) and pressing every button in the elevators. At lunch they sat around stoking the flames of the grand fireplace with random pieces of furniture they gained through various means (by which it is of course meant that they stole the items from the motel across the pass) whilst singing a song known as "Blunt the Knives". At dinner they tore tree branches from pines outside and used the baggage trollies as steeds for a jousting contest (Zero nearly broke his arm, but he was fine nonetheless).
A few guests checked in early in the morning, but the day was near over and no one else came. Darkness began to fall upon them. The warm light from the inside flooded out of the front door, and washed over the steps. After the jousting contest, the owner had caught the concierge and lobby-boy and scolded them, so as a result the two are now just sitting at the desk, bored. Finally, breathing a deep sigh, Ivre asks Ian, "Have I ever told you the story of the lobby-boy who worked here before you?"
At the shake of the boy's head, Ivre continues. "Well you see, he was much like you—my sidekick in a way." Ian opens his mouth to retort, refusing to admit that he is Ivre's sidekick (even though there is no doubt whatsoever that he is), but Ivre cuts him off. "Anyway, Zero, one day we were being rather careless. We decided to do a trolley joust from opposite ends of the lobby; I was positioned near the doors, and he by the fireplace. We took off, each kicking up a cloud of dust… well, maybe not that," he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. "But I held out my branch and got him, but instead of stopping, he had been unable to slow down the cart. The momentum made him keep going… all the way through the glass doors, and down the steps."
"…And into the pass…?" Ian asks quietly. Alexandre nodded. "Very observant, Zero. Yes. He could not escape the trolley in time and flew off, falling to his death far below. It was on this very night, you know." A shiver ran down Ian's spine.
"No one ever found his body—no one wanted to go down into the canyon to search for it, really. Eventually three groups were sent to retrieve it; they all returned safely, but there was no sign of the corpse—though they did find the trolley, and they were all visibly shaken to the very core. One grasped my shirt and shook me, saying 'By the love of the gods, I pray you never have to see the unholy terrors of that pass!' …He ruined my favourite shirt," says Ivre rather distastefully. "This was two years ago; last year on the anniversary, right before you came along, his spirit returned. He gave me a warning—this year, he said, he would return to wreak vengeance upon all in this hotel. To let us know of his coming, he would give us three signs—first, the lights would flicker on and off. Second, the phone would ring, and there would be no one there; finally, the doors would blow open with a great clattering, like the breaking of glass, and his spirit would arrive on the trolley that caused his death." He takes a sip of tea. "That is, if you're inclined to believe such things."
Ian stares at Ivre in great shock for several moments before finally laughing. "Oh, I get it. You're trying to scare the new guy. Very funny, sir."
"Hm, yes. Funny." Ivre says, drinking from his cup of tea. "…Though I cannot lie, I am somewhat afraid myself…" he adds quietly.
3:00
A bitter wind howls outside of the hotel, while Ian and Ivre are resting quietly by the fire, sipping tea (or for Ivre, tea spiked with Jack Daniels). All thoughts of the lobby-boy's ghost has left their minds and now they are making idle conversation—usually joking at the expense of each other or their guests, but still conversing nonetheless—anything to drown out the frightening moans of the outside.
Suddenly, the lights begin to dim and brighten rapidly, finally beginning to alternate between being on and off. Ian looks around weirdly, and Ivre just sits there. "What's going on?" Ian asks worriedly as he notices the outside lights are completely out.
"Oh, you know how the wiring is," says Ivre, waving it all off. "Sometimes it works, others it's faulty. Can't be avoided, especially with wind like this."
"Y-yes. That's certainly it," Ian says. By him, the phone starts ringing off the hook—he picks it up. "Grand Panempest Hotel, Ian Partridge speaking." Pause; weird look. He hangs up the phone. "Nothing. No one was there." His eyes widen in realization, a smirk slowly following it. "I see what's going on here."
"Please, explain it to me," says Ivre.
"You're trying to scare me—you were flickering the lights, and then the phone. That was you!" Ian accuses.
"A fine theory, my dear Zero, though you seem to have left out one thing." At the confused look on the living lobby-boy, Ivre sighs and says, "I'm right HERE!"
"Shit." Ian says as fear begins to overcome him. He is visibly shivering now, holding onto Ivre as a child would a stuffed animal. Ivre is also a little afraid now—he had of course been completely lying to the boy about the ghost thing, but now, he is beginning to wonder.
The wind slams against the windows and walls outside, and branches clack and scrape against the glass panes. The great door begins to shudder slightly, before slamming open with a glassy shattering noise. Ian gasps audibly, whilst Ivre soils himself.
A dark figure is standing in the doorway, with something in a similar shape to a trolley supporting them; they seem to have only one leg.
Ian and Ivre are babbling incoherently as it wheels into the light. Darkness melts away to reveal the stooping form of… Sully from Monsters, Inc.? Oh, and riding on the trolley is his green cyclopean best friend, Mike Wazowski. The pair are smiling and waving at the concierge-lobby boy duo. "Hey guys!" says the great blue beast, having to stoop to keep his horns from hitting the ceiling. The pinkish polka dots on his fur were originally thought by the two to be eyes, because they shone oddly in the darkness.
Ian let out a sigh. "Hey you two. What are you doing up here?"
"We're here to return that trolley. Didn't Sully tell you anything when he called?" asks Mike, looking at Sully, who is smiling and rubbing the back of his neck.
"That was you? Why didn't you say anything?" asks Ian—Ivre has gone to clean himself up.
"I got hit on the head by a rock and I was trying not to yell out curse words," Sully admits. "So I hung up."
"Then… who was flickering the lights?" asks Ivre, returning with a fresh pair of pants.
The lights begin to flicker on and off once more—looking to the corner of the room, right by the wine cellar, the four of them see a tall man in a brown cloak; he is bald and faced away from them. That whole area almost appears to be a black-and-white movie. Turning his head, the man gives them a toothy grin and continues to flicker the lights on and off.
Finally the four friends begin laughing, then shake their heads and smile at the grinning man. "Nosferatu!" they chide happily. The man's smile only widens.
Well, there you go! My first full-on (hopefully only, but you never know) omake episode! Hope you all enjoyed, I hope to have an actual chapter for the next few days, but I can't promise anything. Anyway, because of my absences I'm allotting a few more days for the reserves, but when that runs out, I've already got two people ready to back up with tributes. Laterz~
~Chase
P.S. I got a truck y'all! And whenever I go somewhere with my friends, I make two of them sit in the back and I can always say, "Hey! Hey! I got two people in the back of my pickup! You wanna join them?" or when one of them gets out I can say, "Get back in my truck, dammit! Get back in my truck!" ...If you get the reference, I love you. If not, watch Garry's Mod Storm Chasers by UberHaxorNova or ImmortalHD. Lots of cussing, but it's hilarious.
Tribute list – So far
District 1 – Luxury Goods
Male: Obsidian Gold – Danny Takuto
Female: Elizabeth Grace Morgan "Belle" – Rosemarie Benson
District 2 – Masonry
Male: Nero Valentine – Nightlock Stained Lips
Female: Valariea Heroin – HarryPotterNut1
District 3 – Technology
Male: Oliver Mullins – JaceWillcutt
Female: Lattice Kerr – GreenApple312
District 4 – Seafood and the like
Male: Reserved – LokiThisIsMadness
Female: Marina Caspian - o Sweet Disposition o
District 5 – Electricity
Male: Reserved – David Noklevername
Female: Celia Crossan – AlisonBlock
District 6 – Transportation
Male: Vince Chanel - BubbaKeith
Female: Katoptris Ford – ThatMusician
District 7 – Lumber
Male: Justin Myer – Danny Takuto
Female: Capri Dusk – ThatMusician
District 8 – Textiles
Male: Kestrel Cross - rdfalcon560
Female: Lacey Spool – Kittens In The Closet
District 9 – Grain
Male: Holden Stross – hollowman96
Female: Luna Marissa Moonlight Starbright (Joke tribute/Bloodbath) – Hi
District 10 – Livestock
Male: Axel Adamik – The Koala of Doom
Female: Lauren Lancaster – Hi
District 11 – Agriculture
Male: Akakios Hibbert – The Koala of Doom
Female: Rebecca Thorne – Comettail76
District 12 – Coal
Male: Aspen Northill – LincsStef
Female: Jasmine Polk – Danny Takuto