The two groups of six set out from their cave cautiously, as they knew that there could be an ambush in store for them. They didn't know whether Adrian was intelligent or dumb, so they had no earthly idea what to expect from him. They had divided into the two groups, and everyone in the sane group was happy about this but Midnight.
"I need to be with my sister! She can't survive without me!" he whined.
"She had a forked tongue. I think she'll be just fine," Jairo sighed, placing an irritated hand to his temple.
"But I've always been there for her, protecting her from Pokemon! They run away at the sight of us!"
"Yes, yes, that's great," Jairo groaned, but then stopped in his tracks. "Wait, Pokemon?"
"Did I just hear that right?" Michael asked.
"Yes!" Midnight said. "I've always protected her from Pokemon! They're vile little beings, ya know?" (Disclaimer: I'm not making this up. Check the bio of Midnight in the character reviews. I honestly don't know what the reviewer was thinking.)
"Ahem, yes," Peter said snidely, "that's wonderful. Michael, are we sure it isn't too late to shunt this moron over into the fodder group?"
"Sadly, it's too late," Michael sighed. "They've already gone. James will give the signal when they're ready."
"What about me?" asked Lauren.
"You can just stand there and do nothing. It's all you've been doing this whole time," Leanne replied.
"Yeah. No offense, but you're kind of boring," James said.
"THE POKEMON ARE GONNA GET HER, I JUST KNOW IT!" Midnight cried in terror, only to be slapped by Jairo.
"Get a grip, or otherwise I'll take pleasure in pushing you off the cliff," Jairo said, a condescending tone in his voice.
The six saner (except for Midnight) individuals peered down at the camp, looking around for their six compatriots. What they didn't know, but probably could have guessed, was that the fodder group were having problems of their own.
Janet, Elsaurora, da Zeke, Matthew, Leslie, and Belinda were trekking through the woods in the general direction of the camp, and arguing all the way.
"Sooooo," Sunflower said. "The only two dudes here are Matthew and Zeke, so..." she tried to nudge the two together, only to have them both just glare at her. "Heh heh heh...heh...never mind."
"I miss my brother," Aurora whined. "He's always protected me from Pokemon."
"YOU PLAY POKEMON?" da Zeke asked, peering over her shoulder. "I PLAY POKEMON! WE SHOULD GET MARRIED, EH!"
Aurora hissed, pawing Zeke's face and causing him to cry out in pain. "AGH, SHE HAS CLAWS!"
Janet was ignoring her team, keeping towards the front. Belinda trailed behind her. "So, what's your life like back home?" the pink-haired girl asked Janet.
"It doesn't matter, we're here, and we should keep moving," Janet told her, teeth grit.
"Are my proportions really that weird?" she asked.
"You're a midget, Belinda. And yet you have big breasts and a curvy body. Of course that's weird. Then there's the pink hair and your insistence that you're shy and a nerd. Seriously?"
"I am a nerd, you big meanie!" Belinda sniffed. "I use glasses and everything! I PLAY CALL OF DUTY FOR GOD'S SAKE, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?"
"Yeah, I'm done talking to you," Janet sighed. "Go join everyone else, please."
Belinda started crying and walked back to everyone else. Matthew rushed up to her. "What's wrong?" he asked softly.
"JANET'S BEING A BIG MEAN MEANIE WHO'S MEAN!"
Matthew ignored the total redundancy of that statement, and tried comforting her. "It'll be okay. I don't think you're weird."
"Ew, hetero pairing!" Sunflower gagged.
"I MISS MY BROTHER!"
Zeke scratched his head. "Uh, I could act like your brother, eh? So you don't feel so depruned?"
"I think you mean depressed," Matthew corrected.
"No, I'm pretty sure it's depruned."
Janet sighed deeply from the front, and stopped in her tracks when she realized that the camp was right in front of them. Everyone else stopped and looked up. "Holy..."
The entire campgrounds had been wrecked, set ablaze, and all sorts of other carnage. Interns patrolled with jubilant grins on their faces.
"Ding dong, the Chris is dead. Which old Chris? THE WICKED CHRIS!"
"The interns?" Janet asked rhetorically.
"I bet that they're slaves to that Adrian guy now, doing his every bidding, whenever he wants it, whenever he needs it. Anything he wants would be his because he has their undying loyalty for killing Chris. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go try to find a bedroom just in case I'm right and Adrian is a sadomasochist. And gay. With any luck, at least." Sunflower proceeded to walk directly into the camp.
Matthew attempted to stop her but Janet slapped his hand away. "Let her go. She's doing what she thinks is right, and-"
"James hasn't given us the signal yet!" Matthew growled, and Janet's eyes widened in an "oh crap" kind of realization.
"WAIT, COME BACK!" Janet yelled, and the interns all turned to look at them, and at Sunflower standing right there. The female intern with braces grinned and aimed what appeared to be a regular water gun at Leslie.
WHOOOOOOOOSH.
Sunflower/Leslie screamed as she was washed away by the huge blast, but it wasn't a scream of terror. "OMG! IT'S THE WATER GUN FROM SEASON 1! I GOT SQUIRTED WITH IT! I GOT SQUIRTED WITH IT! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!"
The six saner people heard all of this. Peter sighed. "I could make a joke about this...nah, too easy."
"Should we help them?" James asked, seemingly concerned. The six remained silent for a moment. Contemplating morality, and whether they should help their brethren or not, because they all knew the ones down there would do the same for them.
Then they all burst out laughing, slapping their knees and the like.
"Place your bets, everyone!" Michael called. "I'll take all bets, okay?"
"Ten bucks on Sunflower dying first!" James said, still laughing.
"I bet on Zeke dying first, if he wants to live up to his namesake," Jairo said, an actual smile lighting up his features.
"I bet on Aurora!" Lauren called, but no one responded. "Um, hello? Anyone?"
Back down on the ground, it was chaos. The interns had opened fire using Chef's gun stash, and a girly scream echoed through the area.
It had come from Matthew.
Sunflower was wiping herself off, Zeke was running around in circles, Belinda was bawling, Aurora was yelling, Matthew was screaming, and Janet was facepalming.
The sound of a chainsaw ripped through the air and the chubby intern walked towards them with a maniacal grin on his face. "Time to die for your transgressions!"
"Is that a chainsaw?" Leslie growled, eye twitching. No one answered. "I DON'T HAVE GOOD MEMORIES OF CHAINSAWS!"
"Who does?" Belinda asked rhetorically.
"Chef, probably," Matthew said. "And don't worry. We'll get out of here alive. I'm sure the others are cheering for us right now."
Meanwhile...
"Ooh, ooh, twenty bucks on that short girl, the midget, Belinda, right?" Leanne said, an uncharacteristic grin on her face.
"Yeah, that sounds good to me. I'll bet on her too," Peter said.
"FORTY BUCKS ON BELINDA!" Michael called.
Back down near the camp, Janet was trying to control her team to no avail. "Aurora, help us lead them away from the camp!"
"NOT WITHOUT MIDNIGHT! I'M SCARED THAT I WON'T BE ABLE TO CONTAIN MY DARK SIDE!"
"Well you had a forked tongue earlier, eh," Zeke said. "I'm not sure there's a difference."
"DRAW. THEM AWAY. FROM THE CAMPGROUNDS!" Janet bellowed. Matthew jumped to his feet, cured of his girly screaming.
"I'M ON IT! NEVER FEAR! MATTHEW IS HERE!" Matthew ran up to the interns and ran back, barely dodging the gunfire and luring them away.
The intern with the chainsaw moved forward. Sunflower growled at the sight, cracking her knuckles. The chubby intern grinned, revving the chainsaw as Sunflower stared him down.
"FLY, YOU KNOBS, EH!" da Zeke yelled. "THIS FOE IS BEYOND YOU!" He proceeded to stand between Sunflower and the intern, arms outstretched.
"Oh God, he's pulling a Leonard," Janet groaned.
"YOU SHALL NOT PASS...unlessyoucouldsparemylifeandgivemeamillionbucks."
Janet ran up, grabbed Sunflower by the collar, and dragged her back, kicking and screaming and...sounding once again like an angry cat for whatever reason. Zeke on the other hand screamed like a girl as the intern advanced, and grabbed pepper spray out of his toque.
"EAT THIS!" he said, and pressed the button.
It had been aiming right at his face.
Da Zeke screamed in agony, running around like a chicken with his head cut off, only to bump into Aurora who shoved him into the ocean with a malicious grin on her face. She waited for about thirty seconds. He didn't resurface.
"What happened to Zeke?" Janet asked Aurora, having not seen what had happened.
"Interns got him," the elegant girl replied without missing a beat. "It's sad."
The remaining five ran for their lives, and the interns pursued gleefully, leaving the campgrounds wide open.
Michael grinned. "That's our cue. Midnight, no shenanigans or else we'll feed you to the demon."
Midnight proceeded to tackle Michael violently. "Midnight used Tackle! It's super effective!" he called his attack. Michael grunted and tried to get the weird rich kid off of him, and only succeeded when James, Peter, and Leanne pulled him off of the leader.
Jairo sighed. "Dear God, I'm going to die surrounded by some of the biggest idiots in the universe."
"You're telling me," Lauren said, but Jairo paid her no attention, causing the cowgirl to slump even more.
"Let's just go!" Michael snarled, brushing Midnight off of him as they ran towards the empty campgrounds. The six searched desperately for any kind of communication off of the island.
Peter looked at the dock and was surprised to find that there were no boats left. He cursed vehemently at this, slipping into a Russian accent as he did so.
Michael and James slipped through the cabins, trying to find a phone. "So what happens if we run into the demon?" James asked nervously.
"Club him in the head," Michael replied bluntly.
Leanne glanced through the deserted Mess Hall. "Hello? Anyone? Feel free to answer...unless you're a demon, in that case, feel free to not answer."
She turned and screamed. Chef stood behind her, towering over her in the darkness. He placed a finger to his lips before running out of the Mess Hall, screaming for his life.
Leanne just stood there, incredibly confused.
Lauren was standing outside, not sure what to do. "Guys? Hello? Anyone? Anything I can do to help? Okay! Sounds...good...yaaaaay. Glad I could help."
What she didn't notice was Adrian creeping up behind her. He let out a battle cry as he thrust his dagger forward...and missed abysmally.
Lauren screamed but turned around to see that Adrian had completely failed to hit her. "Wow. That was kinda weak."
Adrian then chopped her in the neck with his hand, and stabbed her in the chest. He then dumped the body in the water for good measure.
He then attempted to piss on the corpse but was dismayed to find out that he didn't need to pee at the time. And that the corpse had vanished for some bizarre reason.
It was then that Leanne, James, and Michael walked out of the cabin, having not found anything, and then saw Adrian with his pants unzipped.
"RUN!" they screamed, and ran as fast as they could. It was probably because he was a demon but I prefer to think that it was because his pants were unzipped. Jairo joined them as they did so. Michael then looked over and saw Midnight squatting in the field holding his leg up like a dog, and he appeared to be...erm, doing his business.
Yeesh, did I really just resort to toilet humor? What is this, Total Drama canon? I'm terribly sorry, I thought I was classier than that. Please find it in your hearts to forgive me. I promise 99.999999999% that it won't happen again.
"MIDNIGHT GET YOUR NAKED BUTT OVER HERE!"
"DID SOMEONE SAY NAKED BUTT?" Sunflower called, literally sprinting over to the others.
"Where the hell did you come from?" James asked in disbelief.
"I know when I'm needed."
"PIKA PIKA!" Midnight cried from the field.
"I swear it's like he's trying to be funny at the most inopportune time," Peter sighed, shaking his head. "MIDNIGHT YOU'RE NOT FUNNY! GET OVER HERE!"
"I think he's snapped," James said.
"I think we've all snapped," was Michael's response. They continued running and Midnight got up and started running, pants magically back on.
"No communication, no way out, and we're all stuck here with a bunch of lunatics," Peter groaned. "This is just brilliant."
Far away from the camp, the ten remaining campers finally regrouped after they were sure no interns or demons were following them. Michael cleared his throat. "Okay, let's do a head count."
"MATTHEW IS HERE AND TO THE RESCUE!"
"There was no demon/human yaoi. I am much disappoint."
"I'm feeling better now. I don't know what came over me. Did I seriously think I was a Pikachu?"
"Midnight, what did I tell you about that? You are not a Pokemon. You're my brother, and I love you. Remember that, always, and you shall never have the urge to drop your pants again...unless you are in my presence."
"Aurora, that was way too long and incredibly creepy. Oh, I'm Peter, by the way."
"James. ...what, expecting me to say something?"
"Leanne. Getting bored again."
"Jairo. Yawn."
"Janet's here and still alive and kicking ass!"
"It's me! Belinda!" No one responded. "Midget with big boobs!"
Only after that was there nods and "Ohhh, ohhh, yeah."
Michael cleared his throat. "Okay, that's ten. Who are we missing."
"Da Zeke," Jairo sneered.
Aurora laughed. "Yeah, he got killed. It's a shame, really."
Michael scratched his chin. "Hmn...we had one more person...I don't really remember who it was, though."
"I know, right?" Belinda grinned.
"Shut up, weirdo."
Michael snapped his fingers. "I remember now! It was that LEL guy!"
"Ohhhh, yeah. That's the guy."
Lauren, a character equivalent to Kellam from the epictastic game Fire Emblem Awakening, had been forgotten.