"When people run in circles it's a very, very...mad world."

Indeed it is.

So there was a whole bunch of blabber and stuff between the remaining eight, wait, nine, my mistake. Wait wait wait. Da Zeke, whatsherface, Midnight, Matthew, Jairo, Michael, Peter, James, Leslie, Belinda, Aurora, Janet, and Leanne. That makes thirteen. Huh. Guess Adrian was the fourteenth contestant. Chris probably failed Algebra.

Jairo had come back to the rest of the group with a surprisingly derpy smile on his face, but then was quickly replaced by his usual scowl. The eight remaining campers were very organized.

...

...

"very organized" was being sarcastic. You've got to learn not to take people at face value. Anyhow, Michael, Peter, James, Jairo, Leanne, and Janet had gathered, leaving Aurora, Leslie, and Belinda left on their own. Belinda appeared to have calmed down but still kept eyeing the shotgun now in Peter's possession.

"So we have five people here that are probably the most likely to survive," Michael yawned. "Aurora is fodder and Belinda is scary."

"Very scary," Leanne said, rolling her eyes.

"She killed Matthew," James reminded her.

"Yeah. That kind of actually made me respect her."

"We're not going to get anywhere with this, are we?" Peter groaned, cleaning the shotgun almost religiously.

Jairo sighed. "We still need to find a way out of here. Where'd Midnight go?"

"Probably out in the wilderness naked and howling to the moon," Leanne yawned.

"If one of you dudes could strip and join him I'd be content," Leslie chirped, rubbing her hands together with an evil grin on her face. The remaining dudes, namely Michael, James, Peter, and Jairo just stared at her.

Peter smirked. "Yes. I will go join Midnight in his life as a Pikachu. Then we will reproduce and make Pikachu babies and we'll give them to you to babysit, because everyone knows that leaving babies in the care of a psychopath is a great way to help them have a happy, carefree, non-traumatic childhood. No doubt your mere presence would make him want to go to the nearest bathroom with their boyfriend and...hurl."

"Really? You'll do that?" Leslie squealed excitedly, and Peter just looked flustered at her. He raised the shotgun and fired, causing Jairo to let out a very girly scream. Leslie just looked at him, unimpressed.

"You see, that weapon has a lot less of a range than you think it does."

Peter fired again.

"Yeah. Doing it again in the exact same spot will definitely help."

"That was surprisingly snarky!" Leanne commented cheerfully. "Good job!"

Janet just sighed. "I sometimes wonder how the universe churns out such idiots."

"You and me both," Michael sighed in response. The two just sighed together in perfect synchronization...can have but one explanation. #justkidding #sorrynotsorry #forgiveme #itwonthappenagain #hahajk

"Can I join?" Aurora asked.

"No," the others responded irritably.

Belinda on the other hand didn't seem to care that the others had excluded her, although she had indeed perked up at Peter firing the shotgun.

"You know what I think we should do?" Leslie asked.

"I probably shouldn't ask, but your strangeness I actually find entertaining sometimes so go ahead," Jairo yawned.

"I think we should kill Adrian."

"NO SHIT!" Peter yelled at her. Leslie gulped and backed up even more.

"Don't turn into the next Belinda," James warned.

"I take offense at that!" Belinda called, but everyone ignored her for fear of what might happen if they responded.

"Um, guys?" Janet called mildly, while glancing over to the outcasts who had not been let in. Actually, Belinda had walked over there anyway so now the only one being excluded was Aurora.

"I mean, I may have gotten angry at you guys but I wouldn't have actually killed any of you," Belinda said.

"Um..." Leanne said, the silence speaking for itself as they remembered the fate of Matthew.

Belinda just looked around at all of them. "What did I do?"

"Guys..." Janet said again, this time a little louder. Still no one paid attention.

"Now we all just need to settle down," Michael said with a sigh. "We're not going to get anywhere like this."

"We haven't BEEN getting anywhere," Peter noted scathingly. "This WHOLE time we've been doing NOTHING but GETTING OUR ASSES KICKED. I say it's time we just took this here shotgun and actually used it for something OTHER THAN KILLING AND THREATENING TO KILL OUR OWN TEAMMATES!"

"GUYS!" Janet yelled, and everyone turned to look at her.

"Yes," Peter asked mildly, and slightly guiltily.

"Have ANY of you noticed that Aurora's dead?" she snapped, pointing to Aurora's broken body.

The remaining contestants immediately snapped around their heads to look at the body. "Huh," Leslie said with a shrug. "Okay, you were saying?"

"Dear God, I'm surrounded by sociopaths and idiots," Janet sighed as everyone else resumed their regular conversation, not even bothering to check on Aurora. Janet stood and walked over to Aurora, and looked up to see light reflecting from the bushes. Janet backed up as the others paid her absolutely no attention, instead cheering as Peter and Leslie got into a fight minus the shotgun. Leanne was holding the shotgun and nervously glancing at Belinda who was eyeing it with bad intent.

The figure emerged as a hulking mass. He wore circular shades and had a sardonic grin on his face. It was...Chef!

"Chef!" Janet called. "We haven't seen you since Adrian took control! What are you doing here? Are you going to help us fight?"

Chef drew his finger across his throat, motioning for her to keep quiet. He then motioned for her to come into the bushes. "Uh, I'm not sure if that's the best idea," Janet told him. "I don't exactly trust you."

Chef raised a finger towards James, who was cheering wildly as Peter beat down Leslie but then let out a scream as she clawed him. Suddenly, James's eyes bulged, and Janet's keen eyes could make out the needle in his throat. James collapsed, and this time Michael and the rest were actually concerned, crowding around him.

"What the..." Janet murmured. "What's going on here?"

Chef raised his finger to the bush opposite them, and Janet turned to see a figure crouched there. "Thank you, Ghost of Christmas Future. I guess."

Janet charged, causing the figure to panic. The punch delivered by her sent him crashing to the ground, and she dragged the black-haired intern out into the open as he groaned painfully.

"What the hell is going on here?" Leanne demanded.

"THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN ASKING FOR THE LAST FIVE CHAPTERS!" Peter yelled.

"Wait, what?" Michael asked, but the conversation moved on.

Janet held up the intern's weapon, which was a needley-firey thigamajig. One of those straw things that you spit into, like a...spitball needlestriker...no no, that's not it...deadly spitwad? No, it was firing needles. Needlewad? Wadneedle? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING CALLED? Spittoon? Spitter? WHATEVER!

IT'S THE THING MAX USED IN THAT ONE PAHKITEW ISLAND. YEAH, THE ONE THING. THAT SCARLETT HELPED HIM WITH. THAT'S IT. I THINK. WAIT, WAIT, SCARLETT HELPED HIM WITH PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING IN PAHKITEW ISLAND. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT RIGHT? AND NO THE SPACE BAR HAS NOT BROKE.

THE INTERN GROANED AS JANET HELD HIM BY HIS COLLAR. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? YOU KILLED JAMES!" MICHAEL SHOUTED AT HIM.

"AND AURORA," JANET SAID.

"YEAH, BUT SHE'S NOT AS IMPORTANT."

"ARE THEY REALLY JUST DEAD?" LEANNE ASKED? "SEEMS KIND OF RANDOM AND ANTICLIMACTIC. ALSO, WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I'M SHOUTING?"

"I HAVE NO EARTHLY IDEA," WAS PETER'S VERY LOUD REPLY. WHAT, IS ESPA ROBA WRITING THIS FIC OR SOMETHING?

Let's try this again.

The intern groaned as Janet held him by his collar. "What the hell are you doing? You killed James!" Michael shouted at him.

"And Aurora," Janet said.

"Yeah, but she's not as important."

"Are they really just dead?" Leanne asked. "Seems kind of random and anticlimactic. Also, why do I feel like I'm...shouting? Wait..."

Again.

The intern groaned as Janet held him by his collar. "What the hell are you doing? You killed James!" Michael shouted at him.

"And Aurora," Janet said.

"Yeah, but she's not as important."

"Are they really just dead?" Leanne asked. "Seems kind of random and anticlimactic. Also, why do I feel like I'm...you ever had, like, deja vu?"

AGAIN.

The intern groaned as Janet held him by his collar. "What the hell are you doing? You killed James!" Michael shouted at him.

"And Aurora," Janet said.

"Yeah, but she's not as important."

"Are they really just dead?" Leanne asked. "Seems kind of random and anticlimactic."

"I have no earthly idea," was Peter's normally voiced reply.

THANK FREAKING GOD.

"Rest in peace, James," Michael sniffled.

"Why'd you do it?" Janet hissed at the intern.

"He killed Chris! He promised us freedom! And actual ice cream sundaes! And we got to use Chris's jacuzzis! And we got to burn the camp to the ground! Adrian is the best boss ever! All he wanted was for us to kill you all!"

"Why would he want to kill us all?" Peter growled. "What does he have to gain?"

"As far as anyone else knows, Chris is still filming Total Drama! He wants to tidy up all the loose ends! Adrian goes back to the mainland, and we stay here where we can DO WHATEVER THE HELL WE WANT!"

"Anything you want?" Leslie said, her usual acidic excitement creeping into her voice. "Like, anything? Are you and at least one other of your fellow interns-"

"Shut up, I have a shotgun," Leanne interrupted rudely.

Michael sighed. "He's playing you. He'll kill you once he's done with you. He just wants destruction and chaos."

"He pissed on Chris's corpse."

"Not that I'm saying he isn't a cool guy for that," Michael said, raising his hands in the air defensively. "But if you can just help us, we'll let you stay here. We just need to kill Adrian."

The intern sighed. "Fine. But as long as you promise that you won't harm my friends in any way. Just Adrian. And that you'll LEAVE US ALONE and hopefully get this show cancelled for good. Say hi to the earlier contestants for me when you get out too. Tell them what happened."

"No one would believe us," Jairo told him.

"True. Then I'd just laugh."

"You're an asshole."

"I had to be taught," the intern shrugged. "Okay, I'll lead you to Adrian. And I promise this isn't a trap."

"Sure. You killed two of our people. This DEFINITELY isn't a trap ARE YOU GUYS ALL IDIOTS?" Leanne shouted.

"Excuse me?" Michael growled.

"This intern just killed Aurora and James and you're TRUSTING HIM? I thought better of you guys. Well, not really, but that still doesn't mean I can't be pissed."

"Are you gay? Or bi?" Leslie asked the intern, who just gave her a weirded-out look.

"Ignore her," Jairo sighed. "Same with everyone else."

The intern bowed respectfully and started walking. The others followed, much to Leanne's furious disappointment. The six...seven...eight...whatever, all just went off and made sure to keep a watchful eye on the intern just in case he had a nefarious plan for them, which was likely. They would just have to wait and see, and hopefully they wouldn't all die.

Chef continued to watch from the shadows.

He stood there in the exact same spot.

For all eternity.

Oooooooh.

Creepy.

Absolutely creepy.

Why isn't this chapter ending ye-