AUTHORS NOTE:
Wow! That was the most reviews in the shortest time that I ever received! I was so amazed and blown away that I fell off my chair! It was great! So my deepest thanks to all of my reviewers! I hope that I don't let you down with this chapter! By the by, Jack has a mental conversation with himself, don't we all, I know I have mental conversations with Jack Sparrow, any way so his mental voice is in italics, and he is just normal. Just to clear that p: P
Disclaimer: Guess what! I really DO own these characters! Yay! Wait….wait…no…sorry that was just me confusing my dreams with realisity….sigh…oh well suppose I should just stick with my consumping obsession with POTC!
Chapter 17: A Mistake Realised
Jack sulked in his deep, soft chair. He glared at the door where Lizzie had made her weeping escape. The anger still burned brightly inside him, searing his heart with it's intensity. He couldn't remember a time when he was this angry, nor a time when he had so easily lost control of his emotions.
Running through the conversation again just seemed to fuel his anger. Ha. She had tried to make ecuses for her actions. It was a useless attempt. Nothing she could ever say or do would make him forgive her for killing his child. And for not telling him about it either.
How could she do such an action?
Deep inside his conscience he heard a small voice say that he didn't actually know that she had rid herself of the child, that he had jumped to a conclusion and that there was a slight possibility that he may have jumped in the wrong direction.
Jack kicked the small voice and locked up in an even further resese of his mind. Who needed reason when you had overwhelaming confirming belief.
The voice however wouldn't stand for such a treatment and lugeded at him with even more force.
Couldn't it be possible, it stated in a snobby voice that sounded much like Lizzie's , that your reaction was simply a defence against the fear of your own feelings when you had figured it out. It wasn't that long ago that you were rejoicing at the thought of being a father. It was entirely possible that your reaction was a consequence of these feelings.
Could Jack of scared himself?
Jack snorted and pushed the voice away again. But this time he hesititated before denying it's reasoning. Could it be that simple?
Nope. Lizzie had to of had rid herself of the child. Otherwise she would of defended herself.
The Voice snorted itself. Think about it. Run back through your confrontaton and pay particular attention to Lizzie this time instead of yourself, you selfish git. Once you've done that come back to me and tell me that you made the right conclusion It said venomaly.
Jack was startled by the venom in his own inner voice, if his conscience was this defencive, could it be possible that he had come to the wrong conclusion? Suddenly guilt came washing over Jack.
It couldn't be possible. He was never wrong, he always came to the right conclusion, and his judgement was un-equalled.
Oh aye? You? Have great judgment eh? Shall we explore that statement.
The condesending tone to this voice started to annoy Jack. Who was it to make judgment?
Oh right. Himself….well It didn't escape Jacks notice that he was having a conversation with himself. Oh well, so he had gone mad with anger, just another thing that he could blame on Lizzie.
"I have great judgement. Look at the crew, faithful loyal. All great men."
HAHAHAHA! Oh I'll give you that, this crew is loyal. But lets look at the last crew you had. Lets see…what did they do…I can't seem to remember. It said in a mocking voice. Oh yes…that crew mutintined against you. Great judgement there jack. Fanbloodytastic.
Jack was silent and considered his own words. So taking this voices advice he went back over the converstaion
The things that he had said were cruel, but it didn't matter, that was how he felt and she may as well know the truth of it.
She had tried to explain herself, maybe he should have let her do so before he got so angry. There was a small possibility that he had gotten it all so wrong!
Jack sank back into his chair head buried in his chair.
He had been wrong, how he didn't know, but that didn't matter. Jack should of let Lizzie try and explain herself.
But he wasn't ready yet to admit that he had been entirely wrong. There was still the fact of the matter that she had aborted the child. But maybe she didn't.
Well, he thought as he pulled himself out his chair, there was only one way to find out whether he had been correct to be angry over the death of his child. And then he could go from there to see if he had been right or not.
Luckily for Jack he had a great memory, and he could easily find his way to the place where Lizzie had last visited. He didn't care that it was the middle of the night, his conscience wouldn't rest therefore neither would the man in this place who would kill an innocent.
Set with new determination, if only to shut that pesky voice up he left his cabin and left the Pearl.
The streets were a mess with bodies strewn all over the road and in alleyways and everything else that was still enough for long enough. He was an expert now at dodging mislaid objects that came hurtling through the air towards his head and other body parts.
This sort of behaviour usually bought a smile to Jacks face, he enjoyed the rougeish attitiude and the excitement that came with it. He had very found memories of starting bar brawls just to see the chaos of it all, while innocently being able to watch it all unfold infront of him
But not tonight, now he had a very clear purpose, a clear destination that had grave consequences no matter the response of the one he was going to. Turn left, turn right and continue on. Jack was thankful for the first time in his life that he had the memory that he had. He had never really thought about the skills he had, let alone be thankful for them. He supposed he ought to have thought about it before now.
It seemed to take less time on this occasion to reach the destination. It was large house squashed between too even larger pubs. It seemed out of place, snuggled in between too buildings that were obviously inns, this one seemed civilised. It looked like it belonged in a row of houses in Port Royal or a town just like it, not in the pirates' town of Tortuga. It definitely gave it an otherwordly feel, in stepping into it, would leave this harsh, cruel world and step into a diemension completely of your own.
Suddenly Jack couldn't force himself to knock on the door. He wasn't entirely sure that he was ready to face what was in this minature world, so separated from its time and plaee.
Jack stood out in the street staring at the house. Could be faee the truth? Did he want the truth. For all he knew the truth could bring with it more hurt, maybe he was better off with the space for doubt, years from now did he want to know for ccrtain that she had killed his child, or did he want to be able to tell himself that she may not have?
It was a long time before Jack could muster the courage to face the horrors that lay in this innocent looking house. Steeling himself he braced himself for the truth and marched towards the door. Pounding on the door handle he didn't stop until a little old lady opened the door so suddenly and un-expectantly that Jack almost knocked on her head.
Well here we go, he thought to himself, he couldn't deny that there was a large part of him that hoped that the door wouldn't open.
The little old lady glared up at him.
"What do you want sir? It is late at night."
Jack tried a smile, he wanted to be polite, mostly because this little old lady and the tone in her voice frighenend him. This house really was a house of illusion. He should run away as quickly as possible, without delay and just hide in his cabin.
"Captain Jack Sparow, ma'am, is the doctor in?" he said with his deep, rough voice, made as pleasant as he possible could.
"She only see's women, Captain. You'll have to go to a doctor in town for any of your ailments" She said and started to close the door on him. Jack stuck his foot in the way and pried it open.
"It is about a lady, ma'am, one that she saw today"
"She aint seen no one today, she hasn't been open"
"I bought her here though, earlier on."
"Can't get much earlier than 12am Captain, everyone else in towns asleep or drunk." It was said with such a matter of fact tone, which mocked him lightly. Jack took a deep breath and let it slide.
"Ok, then about a lady that she saw early on yesturday."
"What business is it to you Captain" she eyed him wearily, she had a strong grip on the door and looked like she was ready to swing it with as much force as she had to crush Jacks foot in any given moment.
"The lady be Miss Elizabeth Swann, ma'am, I am her partner she wanted me to seek some information, but would not tell me what" he said and smiled as sweetly as he could.
The woman eyed him for a long moment. The only reason she was going to do this was because the lady had given them a large donation when it was not asked for.
"Right. You stay here, I'll go fetch my mistress" She said. Jack removed his foot from the door and allowed it to close in his face.
He let out a breath that he hadn't even realised that he was holding and started to pace around the veranda. He couldn't loose his temper again, though he doubted that it would come to that, he felt deflated and empty after such a surge of anger.
A few moments later a bright looking woman opened and shut the door. She was still in her nightgown. She looked briefly around and then spotted jack and came over too him
"Good…morning? Sir. What is the problem?"
"My Name is Captain Jack Sparrow, ma'am, I am the partner of Elizabeth Swann"
"Ah" She said and eyed him. Jack felt very much like he was being judged. "You're the one who doesn't want the child." She muttered to herself, but accidently just loud enough that Jack could hear her.
"Pardon?" He said.
"Nothing" She smiled. "What does miss Swann want. If she needs the name than I have to go and get it for you."
"What name" he enquired. Confused yet intreged.
"The name of the one who can rid the child for you sir" She said a small frown adorning her brow, mirrioring his own. "She didn't want it when she came to me, but I presumed that she sent you to get it for me."
Jack almost fell over, but he controlled himself and took a few deep breaths.
"She, she is still with child?" he asked in a low whisper, his gut was sinking fast, guilt was overtaking his body. Oh god he had made a big mistake! He had shunned Lizzie under false accusations. His voice had been right! He had jumped to the wrong conclusions, oh god what had he done? Lizzie was out in Tortuga on her own, and he had sent her their….pregnant…with his child! He had to find her! crawl to her on hands and knees over glass and beg her forgicness.
Ilovejack,ilovejack,ilovejack
A few days after Jack had turned his back, Lizzie had bought passage to England and was waiting on deck looking out at Totruga with an expressionless face. Her dreams had been haunting her, the memories of jack stabbing pain into her, ten times worse than the pain she had experienced when she had thought that he had died. For reasons beyond her understanding, him being alive and not with her was worse than death.
She laid a protective hand on her belly, beneath all the folds of the dress lay within her, her child, her precious reminder of Jack and the love they had created it with. Even with those days sailing past her, she would not look on them with regret. Who could regret such love/
Beneath her gaze the port bustled and moved with the heavy tide of sailors, who were hurrying on their way to do this or that. She neither knew nor cared, she was only fascinated by it because it looked like the dock was alive with the movement, the same way many ants can make the surface look like it is crawling. Once she had been one of these men, once she had been one of those who even know scurried around the deck, preparing the ship for sailing, ropees to be tied here or there, things to be fastened.
Now though she was back to a reflection of the life she had had before. Dressed in a heavy dress, with a loosely tightened corset, so that it didn't damage the life within. Soon she would back in London and she would re-join the society that she had been so desperate to escape, only because her child depended on it's mothers ability to re-intergrate into society to provide a safe and loving home.
The captain yelled out something and Lizzie watched bare faced as the boarding planks were removed and the ship started to remove itself from the pier. Lizzie didn't notice it, but a small tear escaped out of the corner of her eye and made it's slow way down her cheek to fall onto her hand, which was resting on the railing.
Inside, she was screaming. Her heart felt like it was going to break, and bleed itself out. The pain was almost un-bareable, completely different to morning, this felt like her soul was stucik on Tortuga and she was slowly and painfully tearing herself away from it.
By the time that tortuga became a speck on the horizon, a mere suggestion of land, Lizzie could take no more of the pain, of the memories, and left her soul on tortuga and wondered down to her cabin, where she wept until she passed out.
Ilovejack,ilovejack,ilovejack
Jack had searched high and low all over Tortuga, and he could not find a trace of Lizzie anywhere. By the second day he was becoming desperate, and very worried. The whole crew was out searching for her, though he suspected that half of them had looked for her in a taveren and decided to make it a stakeout, just incase she returned there, and while they were at it drink as much rum as they possibly could. He didn't care, not now, the only thing he cared about was Lizzie.
Horrible images started to flash though his minds, scenes of terrible rape, and murder and torture. Of course these were fed by his fear, and in turn fed his fear more. It wasn't long before he was almost certain that Lizzie had befallen one of these un-thinkable fates.
The sky had darkened, deep clouds smothering the sun and it's brightness and light. To jack it was a sign, an omen. Lizzie was gone, and he had sent her to her fate. This was hell, this was the devil coming to collect his soul and make him suffer the way that Lizzie had suffered.
It took many deep breaths to calm himself down. He bent over, hands on the knees to keep himself up, it felt like he was about to faint. When he was certain that his mind was clear once again, he looked up. Infront of him was a road that he hadn't seen before, it was part of the dock still, but a part that he had never gone down, they always turned right when the got to the dock, never left. And now, here before him, was a whole area of Tortuga that he hadn't searched.
As he started to head down it memories came to him, memories of laughter and jokes, there was somethind down here which had surprised them all and most of all Lizzie, who had laughed about it for almost an hour the last time that they were here.
What was it?
Jack continued his way slowly down the road, on one side, it was all merchants shops, selling the produce that they had bought with them. Speckled inbetween them like weeds amongst a rose garden there were sailors' pubs, less rowdy than any of the ones that he was leaving behind him but sailors pubs none the less.
There was something about this road, there was a scent about it, like a faint memory, an inkling that couldn't be recognised. Lizzie had been here.
And then it hit him, the Merchants Inn. It was not very far from here, but far enough that it was removed from the brawls and bad influence of the main town of Tortuga. Lizzie had found it and had found it highly amusing that the respectable merchants would think that the sailors wouldn't find their way to Tortuga. Many a sailor had been lost here, mainly because they stayed behind or were left behind when their ship left port.
Of all the places to go, Lizzie would have gone there, it was safe, and away from Tortuga, far enough removed.
With the scent of victory, Jack quickened his step until he was at the Merchant Inn. He rushed to the nearest servant.
"Miss, can you tell me if a Miss Elizabeth Swann has stayed here very recently as in the last few days?" He asked, excited.
"Aye," She replied
He knew it! She was here, he'd go to her, beg her forgivness and they would have their child. He beamed
"She left this morning for England sir."
Jack's heart sank. England? This morning. No. No this was not good. She had gone. Left him.
No. He corrected himself. He had pushed her away, had forced her onto that ship. The maid, realising that she wasn't needed for anything else scurried away.
He left the Inn feeling deflated and at a loss. The sea outside glittered dangerously with the wind of the storm that was coming up behind him. He had lost Lizzie, by a hand that was his own. He deserved the misery that was setting upon him.
Seeing sails on the horizon Jack realised something.
She was on a ship
He owned a ship
And he was a pirate.
He'd find her, and take her and beg her to punish him as she would for if he did anything that stupid again he'd kill himself.
With the plan in mind, Jack ran back to the Pearl and told one of the crew to gather the rest, if they weren't on the ship in an hour then they were leaving without that man. They had a ship to catch.
TBC
P. S Wow! Mwhahahahahahahahaaaa! Just think of the sex scene when they meet up eh? That is if Jack manages to find Lizzie before anything happens to her! Stay tuned and you shall discover whether Jack is the best pirate in the ocean!