Mass Potion Raid
The whole gang sneaked up on the van of the Love God: Mabel, Dipper, Wendy, Thompson, Tambry, and Robbie. (Lee and Nate preferred to stay out of it and just enjoy each other's company.)
"Love God! Sound check for Love God," called a roadie.
The Love God rolled out of the back of the van. "Let's make some miracles happen. Groupies, bed-head me."
Tyler the biker and a woman Mabel didn't know tousled the rock star's hair. He staggered away with them, saying, "The Love God's about to get crazy."
"Now's our chance," said Mabel.
They ran for the open back of the van, where a string of potion bottles had been left behind. Mabel picked them up.
"Let's see... Puppy Love, Love of Country Music – eew. Here it is. Anti-love. To reverse effects of love potion, simply spray on your victim and watch their heart die on the inside."
"Our hearts will die on the inside?" said Dipper. "I don't like the sound of that."
"I'm sure it will be all right," said Mabel. "I'll go first."
"First we need to get away from the van," said Tambry.
But when they turned around, the Love God was standing behind them.
"Hey! You're the one who's been stealing my stuff," he said. "Ugh! I am not loving this."
"I'm sorry," said Mabel. "But I made a mistake and I have to fix it."
"Kid, like I told you, this stuff is way too dangerous. On my oath as a god, I cannot let you... Hey, where did they go?"
The group had scattered. Mabel had the anti-love potion and ran with Dipper and Wendy. Tambry grabbed up Love of Country Music as a decoy and ran with Thompson and Robbie.
They tossed the potions back and forth as the Love God tried to catch up with them. He decided to center his attention on Mabel's group first.
Mabel, Dipper, and Wendy ran onto the stage of the Handlebar Brothers, then escaped by crowd-surfing the audience.
"Thank you!" Mabel called out.
"Ugh, they're touching everything," said Dipper.
"That's what makes it fun," said Wendy.
The Love God followed by crowd surfing too, high-fiving and giving out autographed photos as he went.
"Here we go," said Mabel, attaching a spray-bottle top to the anti-love potion. "One good shot and I'll be fixed."
The Love God flew above them on tiny wings, and landed in front of them. "You leave me no choice. Visions of heartbreak past!"
He threw down three bottles and Mabel was surrounded by the boys she had crushed on that summer: Norman, Mermando, Gabe, the Sev'ral Timez clones, the boy she gave a rigged survey to, and even the image of Alexander Hamilton from the ten-dollar bill. Wendy was also surrounded by a large group of ex-boyfriends.
Wendy punched through some of them. "You think we would fall for that?"
Mabel was temporarily overwhelmed by the love potion magic in the images. "You all want me to marry you?"
Dipper called, "Mabel, it's all fake."
"Just give us the bottle, Mabel," said the false Mermando.
"No!" said Mabel, pushing out of the dream. "Sorry boys, even though the girl I love doesn't want me, the potion has made me realize I like girls more than guys."
But the momentary distraction had been enough. The Love God flew above her and snatched back the bottle.
He landed and said, "Sorry kids, but that's what happens when you mess with a god. Only a greater being from the heavens themselves could possibly stop..."
He stood frozen, as a giant flaming balloon head labeled "I EAT KIDS" descended directly towards him.
Tambry, Thompson, and Robbie converged on the spot where the balloon was going down. They spotted Mabel losing the potion. Robbie tackled the Love God, intent on retrieving the bottle so the gang could get free from unwanted loves. Desperation gave him sufficient strength to shove the Love God out of the way of the crashing balloon.
"You saved me," said the Love God. "You could have let me die, but you saved my life. I owe you one,"
"Let us use the anti-love potion," said Robbie.
"Why would you want to use that? Anyone who takes it will never to be able to love again for the rest of their lives," the Love God asked.
"No!" Mabel said. "Not that. But we got love potion on us by mistake. Robbie loves me but I reject him. I love Tambry but she rejects me. Dipper and Wendy love each other, but they feel like they have to set each other free. We're stuck in a mass love polygon. Isn't there anything else you can do?"
"I have a potion of Redirected Love than can match up people with someone else," said the Love God. "But there are too many of you to sort out before I have to go on stage. So what I'll do is add a few drops of One True Pair formula to it. When each of you gets close to the person they were meant to be with, the formula will kick in and attract you to that person, and them to you."
"How long will it take until we find them?" asked Mabel.
"It may be minutes, or hours, or days," said the Love God. "The surprising thing is, I can sense that some of you are already in the presence of your soul mates and don't know it. This formula will tell you."
He sprayed the potion on them all. "Matches made! Now, if you'll excuse me, the Love God is about to get crazy!"
After the Love God left, Wendy and Dipper looked into each other's eyes.
"Well, what do you know?" said Wendy.
"We were made for each other, after all," said Dipper.
Tambry looked at Thompson. "I always admired the way you sacrificed yourself to keep us together."
Thompson said, "I always admired you from a distance, but I never thought I had a chance."
"See, Thompson?" said Mabel. "You got a good deal after all, even though I didn't hug you. I'm jealous now, but I know my own soul mate will be with me soon."
"Bye, Mabel," said Robbie. "I'm off to look for mine. No hard feelings?"
"It was mostly my fault, though you went pretty far overboard by chasing me like that," said Mabel. "But no hard feelings. I wish you love."
Robbie wandered the concert grounds aimlessly for an hour, hoping to find his true match.
"You got that hoodie at Edgy on Purpose, didn't you? I recognize the Stitched Heart design."
He turned, and saw an androgenous person, one that Soos had been unable to tell for sure was a young woman or a young man.
"Hi, I'm Robbie. Want to hang out?"
"I'm Doreen," said the other. "I sure do."
Or was it Darren? In the noisy background of the concert Robbie wasn't sure. But it didn't matter to him. He knew he had found love.
A few days later, there was a knock at the back porch door of the Mystery Shack. Mabel answered it.
A blond young woman in a trench coat, wearing dark glasses and a scarf over her head, was standing on the porch.
"I need to talk to Dipper Pines," said the young woman. "I have a ghost problem and I've heard he has experience dealing with the supernatural."
"Pacifica?" asked Mabel.
"Ssh! I'm in disguise," Pacifica whispered. "It's not good for a Northwest to be seen asking for help at at a low-life dive like this. But I'm desperate. We have to get rid of this ghost before our party tonight, or our reputation will be ruined. Can your brother help?"
Mabel felt a stirring in heart, and she knew.
"I'm sure he can," said Mabel. "But there's one thing I'd like to say first."
"What's that?" asked Pacifica.
Mabel threw herself into a hug with the girl.
"Kiss me Pacifica, I'm yours!"
After a moment of shock, followed by realization, Pacifica did.