Authors Note:
Oh my god I love you all so much. And due to the overwhealming pleas for Lizzies life I may concider keeping her alive…I also may not! But many of you know me far to well…well know that I'm strangely insane…any way thank you for your comments they are all greatly appreciated as always and even more so because of the long distance between postings. I do have an exam tomorrow but you guys are far more important!!
DISCLAIMER: ahh…if Jack were mine…..i wouldn't be stuck doing exams now would i?!
Chapter 23: Dawning.
Jack looked down at the limp body of Lizzie. Eyes desperately scanning every inch of her sweat clad body, looking for a sign, any sign that she still lived. The hand he held within his own was limp but warm, promising life. He held it tight, as if this simple action were the only thing anchoring her to this life and to him. He wouldn't let her go, so he wouldn't let her hand go. His eyes still scanned the surface of her body, the slow laborious rise and fall of her chest were too few and too far in between. But at least it was moving. A movement at her throat drew Jacks attention and he stared there as if willing what ever moved to move again. It took him a few moments before he realized what he was looking at. Her palse. Jack watched the vein in Lizzies next palse with her heartbeat. It was like watching it. It was fast, too fast, but it beat. And that was enough for Jack.
The nurses were busy trying to clean up the bed, to lay some new linen down for Lizzie so she did not have to lye in the pool of her own blood. The others were huddled in the corner furthest from him talking in low and worried voices. Jack watched them, but continued to idly stroke Lizzies check with the hand that was free. He frowned as he watched them. Their whole demeanor was not encouraging, many of the slumped as though in defeat, as if a great weight were upon their shoulders. Many of their eyes held nothing but great sorrow and pity for him.
Jack didn't want their pity.
He wanted them to do something about his love. He wanted her alive, well. He wanted to see Lizzie's smile, and hear her laugh. A lump rose in his throat at the thought that he would never see or hear her alive and well again. He tried to swallow it but the lump was there and there to stay. He choked back the tears that were bought along with it and looked back at Lizzie. Seeing her so pale and lifeless was worse than thinking about it, the lump grew and a cousin of it's grew in his stomach making him feel sick. Jack concentrated on the pulse at her neck. Wishing it to slow, become strong, to beat with the stubbornness of it's owner.
One of the nurses had seen him watching them. She came over to him now.
"Jack." She said. At first jack didn't hear her, but she put her gentle and encouraging hand on his shoulder and repeated "Jack".
Jack looked at her and straight into those sorrow filled eyes, as if he was falling into the emotion it's self. He looked away. Trying to shrug her off his shoulder.
"Jack we need to talk to you" He looked at her again but made note to avoid looking at her eyes or listening to the tone of his voice. Full of loss, defeat, yet calm acceptance. Jack wasn't going to be calm about any accepting. Anything she told him he was not going to take calmly. He looked at her, stubbornness controlling his features, and masking it in his usual arrogant humor.
The nurse gently pried Jack away from Lizzie. He only let going of her hand after much hesitation and much encouragement from them equally as stubborn but somehow more hardy woman.
"Jack. This is going to be hard. But we need you to make a decision" she said gently. She said it far to gently for Jacks liking. It was like trying to sooth a child after he lost a dog or a pet of somekind. Jack was no kid, who needed to be thus soothed and calmed.
"Make a decision about what?" He asked suspiciously. His old habits returning to him, he over gestured with his hands. It was a sign of his nervousness, almost like a rabit caught in the light didn't know what to do or where to go. Jack was like a frightened animal, and frightened animals could be very dangerous. The nurse knew this, but she also knew that what was going to be said was more necessary that trying to coax this scared and nervous animal into the light. She was going to be blunt, dealing with his fall afterwards would take less time, and be less of her problem them trying to coax him into this.
"Captain Sparrow" Jack looked at her, far too much of his white showing. It was the first time that the women had used his title. It didn't boad well. He tried to brace himself for anything this women was going to say but somehow knew already that no amount of preparation was going to make him ready for what she was going to say. "Elizabeth is dying, and the child dies with her. But both do not have to die. We can save one of them."
Jack's internal walls were starting to crumble. He just looked at her blankly.
"Captain Sparrow. You need to decide now who you want us to save. Elizabeth or the baby." She asked. All the gentle soothing of her voice gone. Replaced with a tone that told of nothing but the cold hard truth. Jack just looked at her stunned.
And it was at this moment that the ship lurched violently to the side. Throwing everyone standing staggering to one side as they fought to regain balance. The ship over corrected and dipped in the other direction.
Being a captain of a ship that you loved came as a second nature. Jack quickly switched on to captain mode and went for the door. Knowing that he was the only one who could save everyone on this ship, gave him a kind of courage, that could only come by ignoring the question the woman had posed to him. He marched over to Lizzie, completely unaware of the ships violent rocking, walking on this easier than he walked on land, and laid a gentle kiss and a light carress on her brow. The head midwife yelled out behind him.
"Which do you choose?" In desperation, trying to catch him before he left.
"Save both of them" was his only answer over his shoulder at the short plump woman, than he blocked her out and paid full attention to lizzie.
"I'll save you Lizzie. You just have to stay alive long enough for me too!" he smiled down at her, but it had an edge of sorrow to it.
Her eyes fluttered open and she gazed up at Jack with a clarity that had not been there before with a bright smile. She opened her mouth to say something to him, but instead her brow creased with a frown of effort and instead of saying something she let out a low agonizing scream. Jack backed away from her but she had grabbed his hand and was squeezing with amazing force. The mid-wives and nurses some of who were still trying to adjust to the violently rocking ship, rushed over to Lizzie when they heard her scream.
The mid-wives just gave Jack a confused look and then looked at Lizzie. There was no blood, no abnormal blood this time. This time the baby might actually come out.
Jack wanted to stay, but two things made him want to leave. One the abnormally strong grip Lizzie had on his hand, and two he had a ship, crew, love, child, and a group of doubtful women to save.
"Lizzie. I'll be with you here always, but love I have to save a ship"
She let go of his hand and he kissed her on the newly sweaty brow as she began to puff with the pain instead of scream. She gave him a smile as he left.
Ilovejackilovejack
The storm had grown worse before it had grown better, but Jack had managed to keep her afloat and keep all the crew on board as he steered the ship further into the bay and into the shelter that it offered. It was no more than half an hours effort, but it was a hard half hour, and his voice was harsh after yelling orders over a loud whistling wind. But his crew had heard him and they had obeyed as always, quickly and without fault. Confident that the ship was safe enough for now, and out of the worst of it, even though it still rocked from side to side, Jack relinquished command to Mr. Gibbs and went down to see how his love was doing.
Inside the cabin he was greated with a much nicer surprise than when he had last entered the cabin.
On the bed Lizzie lay, full of life and a little more colour, propped up against the wall, cradling his child. She did not notice him enter, for her eyes were for the little bundle cradled in her arms and for nothing else. The mid-wives around her looked exhausted and Jack flashed them a smile filled with gratitude and thanked them. Some smiled back, others just fought not to sleep.
As Jack neared the bed he heard that Lizzie was singing softly to the bundle. When a floor board creaking gave his presence away she looked up at him and rewarded him with a smile so full of love, and warmth and joy that she beamed with them all.
"Is it a son?" he asked tentively. They had always referred to the child that Lizzie carried as a boy but that was more wishful thinking than knowledge.
Smiling she looked down at the bundle in her arms and answered "It is Mr. Sparrow. What do you wish to call him" She jiggled the baby a little and a small hiccup issued for the bundle of cloth.
"May I hold him first?" Jack asked, he too was staring at the child, but as he couldn't see him he was looking more at the sheets and blankets that shielded him.
"Of course" She leaded forward, and lost her smile shortly for the pain, but regained it as jack gently and tentively took the bundle from her arms and held it like a natural. His smiled matched her own now as he gazed upon him.
"He looks like his father" He mumbled softly to himself. Lizzie laughed softly.
"yes he does"
"He's strong –" he started
"And stubborn just like his father too. Wasn't going to move on anyone elses watch but his own. Didn't want to come out simple because we wanted him too" Lizzie cut in. It was said with a smile, and no malice.
"We should call him John than." Jack said looking at his son, sleeping peacefully in his arms.
"John it is than" Lizzie said sleepily from the bed. She was exhausted and in a lot of pain. Jack let her drift off to bed and he sat down in his big arm chair and softly rocked the child.