We're back.

And counting this chapter, we have four chapters and an epilogue to go.

Beyond the Fourth Wall, as a completed one-shot, never changed. No one remained at Playa Des Losers from the time that Leslie might or might not have attempted to write a fic which Morpheus Chef might or might not have taken over in service of his master. The sky had shut out so that it was merely a gray screen. There was no wind, no sun, no nothing. It was empty. Barren.

And therefore the perfect place for a no-holds-barred beatdown.

In case you have forgotten, two chapters ago LEL "saved" the kids from ScrowmegMeha who is sticking around for God-knows-why. And as for why LEL was so content, well...no one would ever really know, now would they? Hell, no one really even knows why people do things in this. Or even what they're doing. Leslie did, after all, drag Josh from FDTD and accidentally kill him. You know how in the epilogue of FDTD Billy said that Scarlett had likely killed Josh? Nope. That was Leslie.

The troll agent slammed the other down into the ground, grinning maniacally. A foot in the poor shapeshifter's face. LEL picked his opponent up by the scruff of his neck before throwing him across the pavement. ScrowmegMeha skid across, skin scraping off. He winced and growled, standing up.

He slipped on the pavement and fell backward into the pool.

"lelelelelelelel..." the abomination laughed under his breath as he walked over to the edge of the pool.

The shapeshifter's hand grabbed onto his ankle and pulled him under.

For once, LEL screamed as the agent held his head underwater, bubbles escaping frantically from his mouth as he kicked and struggled to escape ScrowmegMeha's grip.

For once, he was being overpowered. He struggled for breath, lamenting the fact that they were not in the ocean instead of just a swimming pool.

Then, LEL went limp.

The shapeshifter let up, allowing himself to be brought back up to the surface, breathing heavily. He pulled himself out of the water, coughing up blood. He sighed. "Finally...he's gone. Yeesh."

He stood up and started to walk away, looking for the exit to the fic. At any rate, he could finally get the hell out of this authorverse now that the insurgent was dead. He breathed a sigh of relief.

The knife lodged itself in his back.

ScrowmegMeha looked down to see the blade point protruding through his chest, and the blood beginning to spread. He turned back around to see LEL with his throwing hand outstretched, a strained smile plastered on his face.

ScrowmegMeha collapsed.

LEL got out of the water and brushed himself off, calmly walking towards the coughing and bleeding agent. He leaned down in front of the shapeshifter, making sure that they had complete and total eye contact.

"Well go on," ScrowmegMeha spit. "Flip out. Kill me."

LEL for a moment looked to be tempted, seeming to muse about the possibility for a few seconds, before chuckling. He stood, and took a deep breath.

And very, very calmly.

Spoke.

"i'll have to pass on that."

"What?" ScrowmegMeha sputtered.

"you heard me," the psychotic agent said, bending down to taunt him again. "i'll have to pass on that. i have what i came for. but it's no longer here, is it? after all, it's much more convenient to store it in a multi-chapter fic as opposed to just an old, abandoned oneshot...so that's why he did it. that's why he created the new fic. i wonder...did they notice?"

"You're not supposed to speak," the agent whimpered. "You...never speak!"

LEL regained his psychotic grin. "do you prefer me this way?"

"No...no no no no..." the agent continued to plead.

"i suppose you don't," LEL sighed. "i suppose no one does. i suppose people just want to see me as the guy who pops in randomly to cause shit and save the oc's skins by method of deus ex machina. i suppose that is all you ever expected of me. all sam ever told you of me."

"He told me we couldn't let you win," ScrowmegMeha strained.

"i suppose. i definitely don't consider myself to be a paragon of virtues," he said. The words were surprisingly eloquent in his mouth, which disconcerted the dying agent to no end.

"Then what are you trying to...do..."

"my master is a bit of an asshole," LEL said with a shrug. "he just wants some fun. and now that the author is down a man, all that remains is finding the keys to the authorverse. i'll have you know that i'm finished helping the oc's. in fact, next time i meet them? i'll probably kill them! would that get you off my chest?"

"Not...mine..."

LEL sighed. "whatever. this was getting boring anyway."

And with that, the suddenly articulate agent smashed his foot into ScrowmegMeha's face.

"Okay," Peter seethed. "Now that we are almost all together now, can we please not fuck around with the fics more than necessary?"

"What, no hello?" Leanne snarked. "Yeah, we just all tumbled out of some weird Academy Awards fic and all you can do is to say that we shouldn't fuck around with anything we're not supposed to? How long did it take us to get back together after we got separated in trying to find the way out of here?"

Leslie scratched her chin in thought. "Like, four chapters?"

"What," Michael said.

"I'm not even going to ask," Janet sighed, stepping up to the plate per usual. "Okay, I'll bring you guys up to speed on what we've been up to. Michael, Belinda, Leanne and I all got stuck in some Academy Awards fic. Everyone started murdering each other and we got the hell out of there before Sam showed up. That's pretty much all."

The lobby was chaos. It felt like they'd been in there for months, which in all likelihood they had. Time seemed to pass by in short, vivid spurts at times. Sometimes things moved painfully slow. Sometimes they just blacked out, probably for a month. Likely between updates. It's a thing. I promise.

"We got left behind in that weird Hunger Games fic," Jairo spoke up. "I didn't like it very much, nor did Lauren and Matthew. That is all there is to say."

"Oh, and Chris died!" Lauren said, wanting to be helpful.

"That's not exactly news," Michael said calmly. "Hell, it's not news at all."

"Enough chit chat," Peter said. "How many of us are here? Oh god, I hate to do another annoying count-off but it seems as though we have no choice. Ugh. Blugh. Let's just get this over with."

"You know, if this were still in that SYOC fic, I'm fairly certain that this would be a cheap way to make sure that every character gets at least one line while making sure Sam didn't forget anyone. This is Jairo, by the way."

"You overthink things too much! This is Leslie! I got over Peter's meanness and have just accepted that his anger isn't directed at me, it's his denial of his sexu-"

"NEXT."

"This is Michael. Leslie, can you talk about anything other than Yaoi?"

"Don't ask her that. Matthew here and reporting for duty!"

"I feel like this is getting really, really old. Leanne here."

"DA ZEKE!"

"Hey, it's me! Belinda! I still can't believe you guys took the shotgun away from me!"

"It's me! Lauren! The most plot-relevant character!"

"Janet."

Peter counted. "Okay. That leaves Midnight, Aurora, and James."

"Can't we just leave them behind?" Belinda asked in a cutesy manner.

"As tempting as that would be," Michael said. "I think James is pretty cool. Does anyone know which door they went into?"

"This one!" :Leslie said cheerfully, pointing at a door labeled "No Quarter." "Now who should go in?"

"I feel as though if only a couple of us go in we'll be trapped in there," Janet said. "It'd be best if we all went."

"You kidding?" Peter asked. "Then they'd have us all in one place! Sam isn't just gonna let us escape, is he?"

Da Zeke scratched his head. "Well, we could always ask him, eh."

Peter glared at him. Da Zeke looked around defensively. "What? It's worth a shot!"

Michael sighed. "Okay, looks as though we'll have to do things the democratic way again. Yaaay. We'll have a vote!"

"Hooray for democracy," Leanne yawned, pumping her fist in the air quarter-heartedly.

"How about we work together as a team in whatever way possible?" Lauren asked.

"Or we could rush them! Take them by surprise!" Matthew grinned.

"Or we could just leave them behind to rot away and die and we'd never have to worry about them ever again!" Belinda chirped.

Everyone just stared at her and she looked around defensively. "What? My dad was head of the Italian mafia!"

"Yeah, whatever Neo," Peter said with a roll of his eyes.

"So are we ever actually going to agree on something?" Jairo asked. "Or are we just going to stand around here arguing with one another pointlessly until Sam decides to show his scrawny ass?"

"Probably the latter," Leanne replied. Da Zeke was currently scaling the walls, singing the Spider-Man theme song horribly off-pitch while doing so.

Janet groaned. "Okay, let's ACTUALLY VOTE! PLEASE! LET'S ACTUALLY GET SOMETHING DONE FOR ONCE, OKAY? ALL IN FAVOR OF ALL OF US GOING?"

Janet, Da Zeke, Matthew, and Lauren rose their hands.

"AND ALL IN FAVOR OF JUST SENDING A FEW OF US!"

Matthew, Peter, Jairo, and Leanne rose their hands.

Janet looked around and then looked at Belinda. "Why aren't you voting?"

"Because I don't like either option and I'd much prefer to leave them behind," Belinda repeated. "It's simple, really."

"So wait..." Janet mused. "There were ten of us. Eight of us voted. Belinda is abstaining. So where is..."

"Hi guys!" :Leslie chirped, opening the door and leading Aurora, Midnight, and James back through. "I'm back! How'd your arguments go?"

The other contestants just stared. Somehow, Leslie had managed to slip past them while they were arguing and actually get the three people who had been so hard to get.

"The gang's back together!" she cheered. "Now let's kick some ass!"

Midnight promptly fell over and faceplanted.