Out of all of them, the only ones still standing were Sam, Belinda, Da Zeke, Michael, Leanne, and Lauren. Midnight lay on the floor, neck snapped, next to his sister, who was lying bloodied and gory on the floor. Rocket the raccoon was alive, but barely, same with the others. Janet coughed on the floor, bleeding. Peter and Jairo were collapsed and Leslie looked the worst, barely breathing at all.
"Come on!" Michael yelled, trying to drag James to the door. "We need to get them there NOW!"
"What do you think I'm trying to do?" Sam growled, trying to drag Janet through. "I'm NOT...PHYSICALLY...STRONG! OKAY?"
Leanne successfully dragged Midnight and Matthew through the door, sighing in relief as she did so. "Okay...he's safe."
"AAAAAAGH!" Da Zeke ran at the door, raccoon in hand, and flung the bleeding raccoon through the door.
Belinda tilted her head at Sam. "Couldn't you just snap your fingers and teleport them all in there?"
"I can't," he replied bitterly. "He's blocking me. I can't..."
Lauren dragged Leslie through the door just as the Yaoi fangirl breathed her last. Lauren sighed in relief as she observed the body disappear. "Okay...she's good."
Belinda successfully got Jairo through around the same time Michael threw James in. Belinda then helped Sam bring Janet through the door, and Da Zeke growled, breathing in and out deeply.
"He's gonna pay, eh," Da Zeke snarled. "He's gonna pay."
"Who do we have left?" Lauren asked.
"Just Aurora, I think," Leanne replied, before widening her eyes. "Oh crap, she got blown up! GET HER THROUGH! NOW!"
Michael rushed to Aurora and, having no time, picked her up and threw her towards the door. It...didn't help matters. Da Zeke grabbed her and dragged her the rest of the way, and as the final dying OC made it through, the alive and well contestants sighed with relief.
"They'll respawn in Morpheus Chef's chambers," Sam said. "Sadly, Chef is gone for good."
"Pft," Leanne shrugged. "Good riddance."
"We need to move quickly," Sam said. "The Door of Light leads into the real world. If LEL manages to find all the keys I've hidden throughout the authorverse, this entire place is gonna go to shit."
"Even more than it already is?" Belinda asked.
"Touche. The five keys are hidden in my five multichap fics. FDTD, Academy, NQ, WWMASD, and TINAFAITIWB."
"What?" Lauren asked flatly at the last one.
"This Isn't Nearly As Fun As I Thought It Would Be!" Sam exclaimed irritably. "Yeesh, are you deaf? I can lead you to the keys but we have to get there before LEL, okay?"
"We need to go through and get the others first," Michael pointed out. "We're going to need all the help we can get."
"OFF WE GO THEN!"
One by one, the OCs plus the handsome creator ran through the door.
They came out on Wawanakwa Island. The place appeared deserted. Tumbleweed blew across.
"Oh, hey guys."
The contestants turned to see four people sitting around a campfire. The brace-faced intern waved, while the fat intern recoiled. The third intern pulled out his blowgun, ready to fire at them.
The fourth person was Adrian.
"Wait...what are you doing here?" Leanne asked warily.
Adrian shrugged. "The rules of the fic say that nobody can die."
"Oh yeah," Sam yawned. "Adrian here is bound to my will, considering he's my OC. So thankfully, he can help us fight."
"Can I please kill them?" Adrian begged. "Pleeeeease?"
"No. You will only kill LEL."
"Oh, okay, good. I get to kill someone."
Da Zeke cleared his throat. "TAKE US TO THE TUBES, MOTHERHUMPER!"
"Aight, aight, sheesh," the demon replied, turning to the interns. "Take them there. I'm too lazy."
"You're always too lazy to do anything," the intern with the blowgun sighed.
Sam snapped his fingers and the ground split open, revealing a staircase. "Ta daaaaaaa..."
"I'll lead the way, sirs!" the fat intern offered. He walked down the staircase. Adrian lay on the ground, waving lazily to each OC as they passed by.
Lauren recognized the familiar surroundings. The contestants walked down the blue-lit hall, seeing each of their former friends in stasis tubes.
"Good, it worked," Michael nodded, satisfied. Da Zeke ran through, looking for his pet. Finally, he found the raccoon in a mini stasis tube at the end. Tearing up, Da Zeke released his pet. Rocket sputtered to life and looked up at his master.
He promptly hissed and latched itself around Da Zeke's head.
"D'awwwww," Da Zeke sniffed. "I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"
Belinda walked through, looking at each of the supposedly "dead" contestants. In order, along the walls, Peter, Leslie, Aurora, James, Midnight, Janet, Jairo, and finally Matthew hung around in tubes.
"Let's get them out of here," she said with a grin.
One by one, the contestants released their friends, coughing and sputtering onto the ground.
Sam sunk to the floor in relief as the thirteen contestants were once again reunited.
"Bazooka!" Midnight coughed as he woke up. Aurora was wandering off, trying to figure out where she was.
Janet walked up to Michael, and a newly alive Jairo and Peter.
"What happened?" she groaned.
"I think that they took our dying selves to Deception," Peter contemplated. "We can't exactly die here."
"Yup!" Leslie cheered, popping up randomly. "Surprise, bitch! Bet you thought you'd seen the last of me!"
"Not really, cockroaches never seem to die," Peter responded. Leslie stepped on his foot.
Matthew cheered. "Justice prevails once again!"
Sam cleared his throat. "As wonderfully touching as this reunion is, there is the small fact that LEL is out there finding the keys to everything. We need to stop him before he can open the Door of Light."
"Uh, do you remember what happened the last time we went up against him?" James asked.
"No!" Midnight replied cheerfully.
"Idiot," Jairo sneered. "James is right. If we go up against him, we die. It's that simple."
"So how do we fight him. eh?" Da Zeke asked.
"How about we just don't?" Lauren suggested.
"NO!" was everyone else's response. Lauren shrunk a little bit.
"We can't attack him head on," Leanne growled. "We have no idea where he is, he has REALLY OP powers, so what are we supposed to do?"
"Indeed..." Peter mused, stroking his chin.
"What is it?" Matthew asked him.
A lightbulb seemed to go off in Peter's head. "I think I may have an idea..."
LEL walked out of No Quarter, key in hand. He started juggling the four keys that he had collected, clearly enjoying himself. He started singing a cheerful little ditty, nothing too sinister about it except that he was singing it very, very badly.
He waltzed around the Lobby. While the OCs had been God-knows-where, LEL had successfully gathered four of the five keys. All that remained was the new fic. The one with the really long name that no one could really use in casual conversation. He walked up to the door, eyes closed. He opened them to see Sam leaning against the door, trying to look like a BAMF and completely and utterly failing.
"oh. it's you."
Sam shrugged. "Duh."
"where are the ocs?"
"Dead."
"uh huh. yeah. i believvvvvvvvvve you, alright," LEL said. The fact that he held the "v" sound made him spit all over the ground. He wiped his tennis shoes on it.
Sam shrugged. Again. "Soz. Can't really help that. I'm kinda resigned to my fate right now."
"as you should."
"But...eh, I just don't know." Sam scratched the back of his head. "Exactly why you can't just quit."
"cuz i don't want to."
"Well duh."
LEL stepped forward. "i don't want to harm you."
Sam tilted his head. "Do you?"
LEL snarled and tried to lunge at him. His legs, however, wouldn't budge, instead sending him falling to the floor with a distinct crack. Around his legs, ice crept up.
Aurora fist-pumped. "WHO'S ELSA NOW, BITCH?"
And with that, for the second time in two consecutive chapters, the OCs attacked. Really deja vu if you ask me.
However, their strategy this time around was distinctly different.
Quickly, Midnight took an icicle, and promptly shoved it down LEL's weird basketball shorts, and up his...well...point is, LEL screamed like a little girl. LEL broke out of the ice and slammed Midnight across the room, once again bleeding out. Leanne dodged several of his god-mod attacks and quickly dragged Midnight over to the TDD entrance.
As LEL was about to end both of them, his attention was once again redirected by Jairo and Belinda. Belinda swung her shotgun straight into his groin. He literally stopped for a moment, face contorted in pain. Jairo sunk his knife into the agent's forehead, causing it to ooze black blood once again. Quickly, Aurora formed an ice wall between them. LEL screamed and unleashed an explosion, the ice shattering but heading straight for him.
Jairo looked down at his chest, impaled with a shard of ice. Quickly, Leanne dodged through the fight and started dragging him away as well.
LEL narrowed his eyes. The OCs were going to replenish using the mechanics of TDD so that they couldn't die. Well, couldn't two play at that game?
The agent ran for the TDD door, only to slip on the ice. He snarled and sent a blast at Aurora, only to have Midnight burst through the TDD door and intercept it. Leanne rolled her eyes and tossed Midnight right back through the door.
Matthew ran around the hallway with the tubes in it, quickly opening them when a contestant poured out. He brought them to their feet and ushered them on, shouting words of encouragement as they did so.
James yelled as he and Da Zeke tackled him to the ground. Sam expanded his powers so that LEL couldn't escape easily. Screeching, he slammed Da Zeke's head into the floor.
Rocket hissed and clawed at LEL's eye. He screamed as oily blood dripped from his eyeball-the first wound that he couldn't heal from. Da Zeke shoved his hand aside and punched him in the eye socket, while James tripped him.
With a feral screech, LEL stabbed James in the leg, and Rocket and Da Zeke quickly retreated. With LEL once again on the ground, Aurora continued her barrage of ice powers. LEL finally managed to get to his feet.
Only to have a fist hurtling towards his face.
Janet and Michael stood over him, punching and kicking and biting and clawing. Sam continued to limit LEL's power, veins bulging as he tried to draw him back. LEL kicked Michael's legs out from under him before launching himself to his feet.
Only for Belinda to shoot him in the back. He turned to her, but once again forgot about Janet. Her fist made contact with his neck and once again he was on the floor.
LEL's eyes rolled back in his head.
Then the ground exploded around him. Belinda, Janet, and Michael were knocked back, bleeding. Leanne ran to Belinda and tried to pull her out, only to have LEL blast her too, sending her crashing to the ground.
"this is exactly what happened before," LEL growled, turning to the door with the final key. "and this is exactly what will happen again."
Quickly, he scanned the final multichapter fic for sign of a key, only to find...nothing. He growled.
"HEY! Looking for this?" Leslie grinned from on top of a statue. LEL turned to her, and she waved to him, dangling the key. "I'll admit it's pretty kinky but you could really do better! What do you say?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" LEL charged at her.
"Well, you could have just said no!"
Peter slammed his book into LEL's face as he ran by, once again decking the supposedly invincible agent. Quickly, LEL kicked Peter in the shins before stabbing him in the neck. As Leslie charged, he blasted her away, his grin returned to his face. Da Zeke, James, Aurora, Midnight, everyone attacked him, but to no avail. Sam screamed as he fell to the ground.
Slowly, he walked to Peter and hoisted him up. "did you come up with this plan?"
"That I did," the poet sputtered out.
"pft. idiot. you thought you could stop me?" Without looking, LEL extended his hand towards the final key and it flew into his grip. "you know how it happened last time." LEL dropped him and started walking towards the Door of Light. "my mission is complete."
"Actually..." Peter coughed, and LEL turned around to face him.
"actually what?"
Peter mustered a grin. "You made a fatal mistake. Don't feel bad, though! It's a very common mistake to make!"
LEL tilted his head. "what do you mean?"
Peter's grin deepened. "You forgot about Lauren."
LEL looked at him strangely. "what?"
The doors to "I'd Like To Thank The Academy" burst open. Contestant upon contestant upon contestant poured out, armed to the teeth with anything they could find.
"WHAT?" LEL screamed as Sam slipped the dying OCs back into TDD.
Then, a second set of doors leading to "No Quarter" opened, and this time armed men and women came out, adding to the conflict.
The third door opened, and this time iterations of characters from "This Isn't Nearly As Fun As I Thought It Would Be" spilled out, funneling into the room. The Lobby was almost full, with over a hundred people inside as they all tried to get a crack at LEL. LEL lay on the ground screaming as they overcame him.
Then, the doors to Total Drama Deception opened and Adrian and the three interns charged out, the psychopathic demon grinning wildly as he tried to get in a stab wherever he could.
Despite LEL's best attempts, even a near-immortal entity such as himself could be overrun by sheer force of numbers. He was kicked, sliced, diced, and no matter how many times he tried to fight back more just seemed to keep coming. Slowly, slowly his will to live ebbed away, and finally his body disintegrated, leaving nothing but a barely distinguishable, torn up basketball jersey.
Slowly, the riot died down. Sam took a deep breath, smiling as he retook control of the authorverse. "Thank you all," he said calmly. "You have helped out immensely, and we are incredibly grateful." The crowd nodded and smiled, looking proud of themselves. Sam's smile faded. "So why don't you get back to work?!"
The people pushed and shoved to get back to their respective fics. Adrian saluted the OCs as he walked back into TDD with the other interns. Matthew walked out with the healed contestants, a smile on his face.
Slowly, the crowds ebbed away until it was only the thirteen contestants and Sam left. Sam sighed. "I know that I should probably kill you...but...you know what?" He turned to what remained of LEL, and grabbed the five keys. "You have me in your debt. Or...maybe I'm just tired of dealing with you. You know what? Just go."
The thirteen looked at each other cautiously. "Are you sure?" Belinda asked.
"Yes! Just go!" Slowly, Michael took the keys and led the thirteen to the door.
"Has it been fun?" Janet asked.
"I...guess so," Sam said. "I suppose."
Janet smiled. "Good."
Leslie passed by, sniffling. Peter looked at her.
"What, tearing up about the goodbye?"
"No...I just shipped LEL and Sam. WHY DID THAT SHIP HAVE TO SIIIIIINK!"
"Get over it!" Jairo snarled.
Lauren walked through, next to Leanne. "You did awesome, Lauren!"
"Th-thanks!" the forgettable girl replied, looking beside herself with happiness. Her ability to be completely overlooked had come in handy after all.
Da Zeke walked by with Rocket on his head, perfectly content.
Belinda cheered, running towards the door.
"WE'RE FINALLY GOING TO LEAVE!" Midnight shouted joyfully. "PRAISE THE LORD!"
Michael finally reached the door, and looked to the others. They all nodded.
Slowly, he placed the five keys inside.
The light dissipated, and now the contestants could see to the other side.
A figure was waiting for them, a grin on his face that could probably have put LEL's to shame.
"You're all fucking dick headed twat faced idiots, you know that? Got to say, not very swag yolo yolo from you guys. Especially you Sam, LEL!" George lel'ed.
George, master of LEL, had arrived.
With one big huff of air, he stared directly at the OC's in front of him. He smirked, well, whatever a :L was to begin with.
"LELELELELELELLELELELELELEEELLELELEL!" He screeched, as he picked up a handful of the OC's and through them at a wall.
"YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD KIL LEL WITHOUT HIM WANTING TO DIE?! LEEEEEEEEEEL!" He clicked his heels gleefully as he was ripping out his own hair before gluing it to his neck.
"IT WAS ALL PART OF OUR :LING PLAN TO :L WITH YOU GUYS!" He cackled.
Then, everything stopped and went black.
"TR-". He started to grow.
"O-". He was becoming bigger.
"LL-". The light started to turn red around him.
"OLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!" He screamed, showing himself to just be behind a projector as he ran around the room willy nilly before attacking everyone again.
"THAT'S FOR FOLLOWING OUR PLAN AND KILLING LEL!" He said, slapping one of them.
"THAT'S FOR BEING AN UGLY CUNT...and the dildo thing with LEL, jussayin!" He screeched, punching Leslie brutally.
"AND THIS IS FOR TRYING TO STOP ME AND SAVE THEM!" He said kicking Sam in the ribcage, before calming down.
"Okay, you guys can leave now." He said, showing them the way to the portal of getting out magic stuff.
Before they walked through, though, he destroyed it.
"Just :Ling kidding, m8's! Wouldn't want to ruin the :Ling fun now, my :Ling :L faces :Lnts!" He smiled widely, before the Batman song played in the background.
"I ONLY LIKE MARVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!" He whined, destroying all the sound ever.
…
":LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL" ….
":LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!" …
":LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL?!" …!
":L."
":l" …?
":P" !
"Lel." He gently spoke, with sound returning.
"Boy, that was scary! Kinda like that one time I kept a bunch of most likely underage OC's and a person like me but not :Ling insane in a room against their will quickly destroying their sanity." He said, before a HUGE :LLLLLLLLL face appeared, where it actually just continued off his face.
"Oh wait, that's :Ling now, isn't it? :L E :L!" He laughed, spanking his own duck in the earlobe.
He looked at Leslie.
He then stopped.
"LELELELELELELELEL! THIS IS WHY I'M THE :LING BOSS AND WHY I MADE :LING LEL! AS YOU CAN :LING SEE I'M NOT VERY MENTALLY :LING STABLE AND I'VE ALWAYS WANTED A :LING BASKETBALL PLAYER AS A CHILD!" He explained, but most of it was inaudible due to him leling almost all the time.
His eyes then flashed an evil looking red. "No more :Ling with you guys." The skin under his eyes became black and his voice sounded like LEL mixed with Lucifer.
Lelcifer.
"It's over."
Well...almost over. Not quite. Special shout-out to Wish I Was A Pirate for writing the troll stuff. Troll as he is, he's good at it. One more chapter left! We're nearing the end of this fic and as to what happens next...well, we'll just have to wait and see.
I have to say, i'm probably the best troll that has ever trolled since the master troller himself, George. OH WAIT THAT'S ME LEL. I can't like make a girl forget her memories of snow and that her sister is an ice wizard who nearly killed her, though.
Um...why are you talking? Oh. Wonderful. Guess whoever's in charge of the narrative can talk with out-of-universe me. Hey George.
Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooo Sammy my boy. How are you this wonderful, well, semi-okay evening?
Erm. Decent. Decent, I guess. Okay-ish, mediocre, blah de blah. I kind of miss talking to my in-universe self now. Weird. I can't imagine why, honestly.
You know what I do when I want to talk to in-universe me? I draw a picture of a fluffy kitten, rip it to shreds, reconnect those shreds to form a dead fluffy kitten and...
Wow, that drafted of topic REAAAAAAAAAAAL quick.
Yeah, I might be starting to regret this. Just a little.
Okay. Yup. I'm outta here. Good luck folks. And remember, an apple a day keeps the troll away. Not really.
One chapter left. 'Til then.
I've been The LELcasm Master! Goodnight Amer-Fanfiction! :LLLLLLLLLLLLLL