":L YOU :L UR MOM :L YOUR FAMLEEE-"
Hng!
"FUCK YOU HNGGGG NOISE! I AM THE GREATEST BEING OF ALL :LING TIME! I AM :L. I AM LELCIFER."
YOU'RE. NOT. DOING. THIS. GET. OUT.
"NO :LING WAY I CAN DO WHAT I :LING WANT!" George has seemed to start getting weaker, his use of :L was decreasing.
The thirteen contestants looked around at each other and the carnage that had been caused by the enemy avatar.
"I thought we were done with this," Aurora panted.
George stepped back a bit, taking a breath. Neither him nor Sam seemed to be in condition to fight. As bad as it was, invading another person's authorverse meant that the native author had all the advantages, and George didn't have invulnerability like LEL had. Out of his authorverse, his avatar could be hurt, but not killed.
"What...are we supposed to do?" Peter asked, catching his breath. "We just finished...killing his agent! What do we do?"
"I don't know!" Sam yelled as George attempted to regain control. "Neither of us are in control right now!"
"You do know you can't :Ling get rid of me, right?"
"I don't want to fight again, it's so dull," Belinda groaned.
George advanced. The contestants backed up.
"You think i'm :Ling dull!?"
Lauren yelped as George sent fire out of his hand. She ran for her life around the lobby.
"Get to the Door of Light!" Michael yelled as he ran from George's assault.
"Sorry," George said. With a snap of his fingers he sealed it shut. "I don't trust you in reality."
"Well I don't trust you here," Sam snapped.
Jairo, Janet, and Peter crouched as George continued blowing things up.
"Well, here we are. The third fight in a ROW," Jairo groaned. "I'm getting bored here."
"It is tiring," Peter agreed.
"Once again, it's up to us," Janet said. "How do we get rid of an author?"
"We don't," Lauren spoke up, and the three jumped as they realized that she was there.
"Then what do we do?" Janet asked.
Lauren smirked. "We make sure he never wants to come back."
Leslie's dildo had been broken as George advanced on her.
"You're a :Ling annoying :Ltch, but a :Ling funny one. You may live."
Leslie's mouth opened as George snubbed her, instead aiming for Matthew and Belinda. Belinda was out of shotgun bullets, having already been in two fights that day.
George turned to face Michael, who was backing up.
"HEY!"
What appeared to be a pie hit him in the back of the head. George turned to see James, who now was cowering.
"Why don't you pick on someone your own size, huh?"
George slowly walked towards him.
"Okay."
James backed up as Leanne and Da Zeke attacked him from either side. George brushed them off.
"This whole fighting an invincible force thing is getting annoying," Aurora sighed.
":Lel, you asked for it. :Ling idiot..."
George smiled as he held up his hand, ready to obliterate James.
"GET HIM!"
All at once, Leslie, Janet, Peter, and Jairo tackled themselves onto the author. George kicked and struggled to fight them off, snarling.
Slowly, the slugfest moved towards a nearby door labeled "WWMASD."
"GET THE :L AWAY FROM ME!"
Leanne stood at the door to the fic, and calmly and politely opened it. George and all the people on top of him fell inside.
"Quickly!" Leanne shouted. "He's in! Move! Move! Move!"
The remaining contestants yelled and ran, all heading into the fic.
The plan was in motion.
Welcome back, you harebrained imbeciles, to another round of "What Would Max (and Scarlett) Do?" I know I said that this wouldn't be back until Valentine's Day, however, I have the ability to change my mind, and there is nothing you can do to stop me. Anyway, today we will be discussing a topic that people like to dance around a lot. Hell, I even find it a bit icky. Okay, really icky. But that's the point of today's topic, and if you don't like it you can go ahead and kiss my–
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Oh joy. They're back.
Who are you?
"I'm :Ling :Lelcifer. :L you"
lol u fel rit into our trp
*trsp
*trqp
I never thought I would be back here, but here we are.
DA ZEKE IS READY FOR PAYBACK!
Who even is everyone? Is this just a text story or what?
Leanne, is that you?
wut is even going on here
"I'M THE MASTER OF CONFUSION! NOT YOU!"
No, I'm Jairo. Peter? Michael?
I'm here. God, this is going to be awful.
awful? you mean great! :D :D :D I can't wait for this to start! (this is belinda by the way)
WHAT IN THE NAME OF EVIL IS GOING ON HERE?
Hey dude, you're going to have to stop talking. You and I both have normal text and that's going to get really confusing, really fast. This is Michael.
um guys hello this is lauren
I suppose that I have to accept it. *sigh* I, Scarlett, the most rational and levelheaded person here am going to have to accept the fact that there is no logic in this universe, and laugh at the contemptuous insinuation that there ever was.
James here. Man, this is confusing.
Weird. I'm Midnight and this is the first time I've felt lucid in ages.
oh. hey midnight. aurora here.
"LEL, WHERE ARE YOU WHEN I NEED YOU!?"
Ahem. If we could role call one last time that would be great.
"No. I'm :Ling confused!? THEY'RE MINE!"
Peter.
leslijse *liesehelei *lieslie
Midnight.
aurora.
Michael.
Jairo.
belinda! :D :D :D
uh lauren
DA ZEKE!
James.
Janet.
Meh, Leanne.
MATTHEW
(AN: This is the only time I'm going to break in the MIDDLE of a story to talk to you. Ever. The above role call is in case you want to actually look through what follows and actually know who is typing. That's all.
Good, we're all here.
You all were informed of the plan.
Go.
Wait, what? What plan? What plan could you idiots have possibly come up with?
so i wuz liek wow teh yoai DA ZEKE IS HERE, HE'S IN DA HOUSE man oh man, this is going to be fun! :D Meh, we'll see how this works. WOO THIS IS MATTHEWTo be, or not to be? lauren herePeter Piper Picked a peck of...um, what even is that again?Is that really the question here?Uh, hi, James. I guess I just say random stuff. HE HAS A ROAR LIKE A LION BUT HE'S UH...QUIET LIKE A MOUSEpsychologically torturing the guy who tortured and killed us is really satisfying!iseveritngn I've been through a lot here, probably more than I have a poem that I would like to say.ananyone else. i thkn george and LEL r so cuet toogeter Man, this is weird. I'm kinda glad that I can contribute, but...man...This is the first and only time I am encouraging random behavior. JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED YA HEAR dont u Damn, why'd I have to get the normal text? Ya mean I get to be as random as I can? Really? No one's going to look at the normal text. What is this anyone? I mean, what?michael no one's looking at mine either thkn?This game is almost over, you've run out of four leaf clovers. let it go let it go. no i'm not going to sing that song.Thank God, Aurora. PLEASE don't sing that song.LOL this You treat me like some kind of joke.is eh I don't even know anymore.YA'LL DON'T HAVE MY SWAG, SO GIVE IT UPmost fun ive hd n a long i'm glad i could contributeLike I'm just a braindead punching bag.We're not letting you get away with this.no 1 SO TAKE MY MONEY, AND SHUT THE HELL UP well, i'm out of shotgun ammo.WOO LEANNE HERE THIS IS AWESOME ARE YA DEAD YET ARE YA ARE YA ARE YA is telingl me 2 shut up and THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER Well I'm done.i git 2 talk as mujkc as i Tick tock, George, you had enough yet?, no one's going to know who I am. YO YO YO, LIKE YU-GI-OH this is still pretty good though!This is Michael talking, by the way.i'm sorry midnight...i love you. Because frankly we are a little bit pissed. I'm done being the one always knocked in the head.but mai OTP is def. jairer. jarier I don't know whether to laugh or scream. Pft, nice poem Peter. You're really helping.Well, if this works, I think that we just sank to a whole new level of annoying. YA HEAR THAT? WE'RE DONE WITH THIS, OKAY? THIS SHIZZLE AIN'T LIGHT, LIKE...UH...I DUNNO. woo, annoyingness for the win! :D :D :D ARE YA READY TO GO YET, ARE YA ARE YA? We've gone through demons, avatars, agents, and pests.or petairo but that do'esnt sund as catcky, u no? you know what, i'm just going to spam emoticons now. :D :D :D I mean, annoying someone into leaving? ANNOYING PEOPLE IS MY SPECIALTY! Seriously? La de lah de lah! I'm actually having fun here! You hear me, world? I'm done with you. And I would just like to have a place to rest.:D :D :Dneeway, i justyeah, go midnight! think thes is a :D :D :P :L Tick tock, you have the option to make this stop. gud oputeroitniy 2 get 2 no eech udderGO TEAM WE CAN DO THIS! WE CAN BEAT HIM! Sigh, are we done yet? some more So if you think you can cease our talk.nd get 2 no more interetsers! Woo, take that! :F :U :C :K AS KONG AS U END IT WIT YOIA! :Y :O :USo if this works...I'll be glad to have done something to help.You're going to need to leave us alone for once.AAAAAANND BREAK HOMIES! Pft Zeke. I thought Rocket couldn't type-
"You know what! You know :Ling what? I can't :Ling deal with this. You're all r00d :Ling trolls and I can't :Ling take it anymore! I won't come back again, you guys are :Ling gay ass bitches..."
Then I believe we're done here.
Sam, take us out.
George lay on the ground in the lobby, whimpering and cradling himself. The full force of all thirteen imbeciles combined had broke him, essentially. Sam walked over, and helped him get up to his feet.
"Just stay out of my authorverse, and it'll be cool," Sam said. "I mean, this has been one shitshow after another, but I think that if you just leave it'll be fine."
George nodded. ":Ling fine. I'll see you next Tuesday at the taco place."
Sam nodded. "Good. If you could leave us then."
George nodded, pseudo-jokingly flipped him off, and walked through the newly opened Door of Light, back into reality and away from his authorverse, never to disturb it again.
Sam turned to the thirteen contestants. "Well...it's been fun. I guess. I used to want you dead, but now...I only want you gone, I guess. So seriously. Just go."
The thirteen contestants looked on in shock. "Really?" Janet asked. "Wow...I guess I'd forgotten we were even trying to leave this place."
"Return to the authors from whence you came," Sam shrugged. "But you're always welcome back. Anyway, without further ado..." He stepped aside to reveal the Door of Light. "You all can say your goodbyes now if you want. Go through one at a time."
The thirteen contestants hung back, unsure what to do. Gulping, Lauren stepped forward with a sigh. "I'll go first. I know I'm not the most memorable contestant...but it WAS really nice to meet you guys."
"Likewise!" Michael replied cheerfully. Lauren received high fives from Peter and Leanne.. The OC walked through the door, vanishing into the light.
Slowly, Matthew walked forward. "I started out wanting to save the day...I guess I did. Thanks guys. It's been fun."
"Meh," Jairo shrugged.
Matthew waved goodbye, and the contestants waved back as he walked through.
Sniffling, Leslie started bawling. "I DON'T WANNA LEAVE YOU GUYS! THERE WAS SO...SO MUCH...*SOB* POTENTIAL!" She hugged Da Zeke, who looked incredibly uncomfortable. "You're my best friend, kay? And I can't wait to set you up with someone! WE'LL MEET AGAIN!"
"I hope not," Peter sneered.
"Bye guys!" Leslie cheered, suddenly happy as she walked towards the door. "And don't ever forget: it is ALWAYS time to Yaoi!"
Leslie walked through the door, vanishing. Peter breathed an audible sigh of relief.
Jairo walked up to the door, high-fiving James, Janet, Michael, and Peter on his way up. "I'm sure I'd say something sentimental, but I don't honestly care enough to." Without another word, he walked through the door.
"Meh," Sam shrugged. "His loss."
"It's been fun, guys!" Belinda said cheerfully, shotgun in hand. "I gotta get back to my place. This place...is kinda weird."
"Understatement," Peter snorted.
"Anyway, I'll miss all of you!" she said, wiping a fake tear from her eye. She turned to Sam. "Even you."
"I think that's the biggest compliment any of you lot have given me," Sam smirked.
"I bet." Belinda turned back to the door. "See you guys later!"
"Bye, Belinda!" Leanne waved as the Mafia don's daughter walked through the door.
Aurora and Midnight walked up to the door, their characters free of the curse that had been brought on them by an asshole of an author. "I'm sorry I spent so much time being incomprehensible," Midnight sighed.
"And I'm sorry for being creepy," Aurora chirped. "Anyway, I know we're not exactly popular around here, so let's go, bro!"
"We'll see you again," Michael told them.
Midnight smirked. "Maybe."
The brother and sister walked through the door.
Janet smiled and gave everyone still remaining a handshake. "We did it, and you should be proud. I know I am. I hope to see you guys again."
"Hopefully," Michael commented. "You're pretty cool."
"I know," Janet grinned as she walked to the door. "See you guys later!"
Janet vanished.
James smiled as he walked towards the door. "I know I kinda got lost in the crowd here...but I had fun. Weird fun, but fun nonetheless."
"True that,' Peter smiled.
Da Zeke gave James a fistbump. "You're a cool dude, yo."
"I know," James laughed. He turned towards the door and walked through. "I know."
Da Zeke walked up to the door, Rocket the raccoon in hand. "Just making sure, I can keep him right?" he asked the author.
"Sure," Sam shrugged. "Why not?"
"YAY!" Da Zeke laughed. "See ya guys! Look out for me later, kay?"
"Yeah, yeah," Leanne smirked.
Da Zeke walked through and disappeared into the light.
Peter and Leanne remained. Peter cleared his throat. "I have already said my goodbyes to most people, but thank you for letting us go. We appreciate it."
"Psht. I'd still kill you all if it wasn't the hardest damned thing to do in the world," Sam said, although he smiled. "Regardless, you're welcome."
"Ciao, Leanne," Peter smiled as he walked back into his authorverse.
Leanne sighed as she observed that she was the last one left. "I...don't have...an author. I think mine was a guest."
Sam narrowed his eyes, concentrated in thought. "Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it, okay? Don't worry."
Leanne nodded and gulped, turning to the door. "Well...if everyone else can do it...so can I."
And with that, the final contestant walked through the door.
Sam hung around in the lobby, looking uncertain.
"Well, what did you do? Trick them? Send them to their doom?" Adrian walked up to the author, who looked contemplative.
"Nah," he said. "Didn't feel like it. They've been through a lot."
Adrian snapped his fingers. "Dangit. I wanted to terrorize them again."
Sam turned. "Well, as soon as I get a new agent, I won't have a need for an avatar anymore...but I don't think I'm going to be writing anything like this anytime soon. Like, ever."
"Meh," Adrian shrugged. "Fair enough."
The two walked towards the TDD exit.
"So does that mean this place is finally gonna be closed off?" Adrian asked. "Join the completed fic pile?"
"Not yet," Sam replied. "But soon, yes."
"Can they come back?"
Sam paused for a moment before answering. "They can come back any time they want. I may hate them, they may piss me off...but ya gotta admit," he smiled. "This was a lot of fun, even if none of it even made any sense."
"I feel like you're addressing the audience, not me," Adrian replied.
Sam turned so that Adrian couldn't see his smile.
"Why not both, Adrian? Why not both..."
And so this fic has (almost) come to an end. Dragging it out any longer would be a terrible idea. Special thanks to everyone who sent in an OC and Wish I Was A Pirate. This has really been a blast.
Keep an eye out for an epilogue though over the next few days. It's been a pleasure.