Title: Leave Me Where I Am
Author: Acoustic Heart
Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders and I do not claim to. No profit is being made from this story.

Warnings: This story does contain rape. There may be a possible slash relationship in the future.

(Told in Ponyboys point of view)

Chapter 1

It was a Friday night when it happened.

I was walking back from the party I had gone to with Dally and Johnny, only this time, I was all alone.

It was a stupid idea, you know, Darry always tells me I never use my head, I never really do I guess. It was around twelve in the morning, not the best time to be walking around alone, but like I said before, I don't use my head.

I realize it wasn't a smart idea now, believe me I do but, God I was just so angry. I had just gotten into a fight with my best friend. Well, not really a fight, I tried to ask him if we could leave but, he, well he just yelled at me.

I, well, I've never really liked to be yelled at, I'm, well I'm a bit of a cry baby I guess and when Johnny, my best friend was so harsh to me, I felt tears well up in my eyes. I didn't care if he was drunk or not, I couldn't believe him.

I didn't know what to say, I didn't even feel like I should try and explain what had happened any more. I could already feel tears starting to burn my eyes, I just turned around so fast that I almost fell flat on my face and just stumbled out of the house.

I tried to head back the way we came; I tried to remember anything, anything I might have seen on the way over.

I just wanted to be alone. Going from being unbearably hot in the house to the cold air made goose bumps rise up on my skin, I didn't even think about my jacket I had left behind.

I was tipsy and I could barely walk straight. I must have looked ridiculous, crying like I was, wearing jeans that were just a bit snug on me, barely covering my hip bones and a black tank top that was tight and showing maybe just a bit too much of my stomach.

I know, I must have looked like a pathetic slut, I guess, I must have looked like I was asking for it.

Anyways, it was pretty cold out, and all I could think about was getting back home and just crawling into bed and hoping everything will solve its self out in the morning.

And, well, all these thoughts were running through my head, and I just felt so angry and at this point I really hated Dally and Johnny, Johnny for yelling at me and Dally for having the stupid idea to take us out in the first place. Well, I thought I hated them I guess.

I got this kind of sick feeling in my stomach, you know, like someone just punched me in the gut, a kind of queasy feeling. If I was thinking straight at the time I would have probably blamed it on the alcohol I had consumed, but I just blame it on how upset I was, you know, like if you're crying so hard or if you're scared enough you'll start to feel sick. It was kind of like that.

I remembered we had passed a Dairy Queen, and that's what I was searching for. As I wandered around the dark streets, I was jumping out of my skin at every noise and I kept thinking about what Johnny I had said to me.

"Stop being such a baby."

Now would be a perfectly good time to start doing so, I thought to myself.

By the time I came around the back of the Dairy Queen I was breathing a bit easier and I had stopped crying finally and that knot in my stomach had tied itself into was beginning to loosen and I guess I felt a bit calmer than when I had first left the party.

Then, then I noticed there was a group of guys hanging out back.

I really don't know how I had missed them at first, they were rather loud. They were sitting in the back of this white van, there was some kind of paint on the side, something for an electric company. But it was one of those company vans, you know? The van had those doors that pulled open ad a flat bed in the back.

There were six of them there, they looked to be twenty-one and over. Good looking, I guess, they were greasers I could tell, but they looked, well, they looked trashier.

The light was on in the van, barely illuminating them, but enough to see their faces, theirs faces and their work boots and their ripped jeans, they had a stereo on too, playing some kind of music, it was too much static to make out what was actually playing.

Two of them had cigarettes dangling from their mouths; they looked neglected, like they needed to be ashed pretty bad.

But what stood out the most was the unbelievable stench of alcohol that filled the parking lot. At a closer look you could see the empty bottles that littered the back of the truck and the ground around their feet. Most of them were just empty beer bottles, but there were some of those cheap clear bottles, not even glass, plastic ones that had probably once held vodka. You know, that cheap disgusting kind that burns your throat and makes your eyes water.

Anyways, I wiped my face clearing the tear tracks and, well, I continued walking, at first wishing I could just blend into the pavement.

Then, then I started thinking about what Johnny said to me and well I really wasn't thinking straight honest. I wanted to show Johnny who the baby was now, and I started to want them to notice me, God I was so, so stupid!

But, I walked a little taller, head up and I walked with a little saunter, even when I was doing it, in that little part of my mind I knew it was a stupid idea, one because well, how the hell did I even know they would be attracted to me, to guys and two because I knew it was going to be something I would regret latter.

Then, then the catcalls started, I don't know if it was something I was looking to get, but it made me feel a little better I suppose, you know I can't really remember, after that everything seemed like a blur.

So I glanced at them a little, smiling and one of them motioned with his head, this jerky nod as if to say "come here" I didn't, then, then one of them called out,

"Hey, pretty thing, come have a couple of drinks. Hate to see someone as good-looking as you along."

Again, I didn't, well at first, I hesitated, and in that moment of hesitation I really, I really should have just kept walking.

And then I walked over. I went over to then, and I smiled, I introduced myself as Ponyboy, they smiled at me, no witty comments about my name and they shook my hand politely, gently.

They never told me their names.

I just sat down in between two of them and they handed me a beer, they didn't slip anything in it, I watched them open it and hand it to me.

It was cold and refreshing and I sipped on it and they started talking to me.

They were nice, one of them just got back from Florida, the youngest one was celebrating his twenty first birthday.

They never asked me my age.

The one whose birthday it was said he was looking for some "birthday action" his friends laughed, I just laughed nervously, I didn't know what to say to that, or how to act. I just took another long gulp f beer. It didn't taste as refreshing as it had first, it tasted stale. I really wanted to leave, but my legs didn't seem to be functioning and I was kind of afraid that if I tried to stand up I would end up falling on my face and cracking my head against the pavement.

That's all I could think of for a moment, falling and probably scraping up my knee a bit and if I would be able to hear the crack of my skull against the pavement, the shooting pain that would circulate in my head, bounce my brain around and how long it might be before I lose consciousness,

I broke out of those thoughts when one of them held his cigarette between his fore fingers up to my mouth, I looked up at him and wrapped my lips around the filter, inhaling.

He smirked at me and I, I caught his eyes with mine for a split second and he had this, this look in his eyes that I, I can't explain but I knew, I knew it was bad and that I really didn't want to see it there. In the eyes of someone that close to me, I didn't want to see that look directed at me.

Then one of them said, "He has awfully pretty lips, don't he?"

And I tried to leave, I stood up on wobbly legs and I tried, I tried to run but one of them grabbed me by my waist in a muscled arm and pulled me back into the truck. I tried to escape but I just, I just couldn't.

For god's sake I mean there were four of them, bigger than me, what did I expect? They clearly didn't want a struggle at the same time I don't think they expected one either.

They just wanted to have their goddamned fun no if ands or buts. Then again, rape victims never really do have a say in anything.

Another one grabbed my hair and pulled me into the truck. It hurt, I mean he grabbed a fist full of my fucking hair right on the top of my head and started pulling. I let out a noise of pain, and right when they heard that, they knew they weren't going to have a hard time.

So, once they shoved me into the back of the van, they pulled the doors closed and one of them went to the front, to drive away I guess, leaving four of them in the back with me. The light in the back was still on, I could see them but they weren't even looking at me, I didn't know what they were waiting for.

I didn't make any movement, was to afraid to and for a minute I didn't even blink and I barely breathed, Then I heard the engine start and then, then I actually did start to cry, it wasn't full out sobbing, at first, tears started to stream down my face and I, I tried not to make any noise but a short choked cry escaped me. I think it startled them a bit because their heads snapped towards me and when they saw the tears they started laughing at me. Then I really started bawling, I pulled my knees up to my chest and started to cry so hard it started to hurt.

But I couldn't stop, I was afraid of what they were going to do to me, what was going to happen to me or if I would ever get to see my brothers again.

The light went off in the truck and I was left sitting in the dark with four strangers who might just kill me at any second, I pressed myself into the corner of the truck.

When I felt a hand around my ankles that began to pull my legs, forcibly uncurling my body,

I began to scream.

xxx

A/N: I'm a tease, I know. More to come shortly.