Things just got worse for me once dinner was served. Dinner in the Von Trapp household was always strange to me. I don't suppose I will ever understand why someone would have to dress up to share a meal with their own family. Nor will I suppose why I, the governess, had to have dinner in the dining room while the other members of the staff ate in the kitchen. It would make sense if there was an infant who needed help feeding themselves but that is clearly not the case here. Little Gretl was five going on six soon and was perfectly capable of cutting her own meat and vegtables, let alone chewing and swallowing. Yet, here I am once again and have to shake of the weirdness of it all and just go with the flow.
"I can't wait to eat," Kurt said, getting his fork and knife ready. "I've been looking forward to dinner ever since I got up this morning!"
That got a big laugh from the children and a chuckle out of the Captain and myself. I snuck a peek at Baroness Schraeder and took note that she did not find that at all amusing. Truth be told, I don't think she finds the children amusing at all. It leads me to wondering what was going on while I was away. It couldn't have been easy for them if what I'm thinking and feeling is right.
"Oh," the captain said as the trays of food came out. "We have schnitzel with noodles tonight!"
Laughter once again rang out amongst the children. I couldn't help but blush and smile to myself. I knew exactly why they were laughing.
"What's so funny?" The Captain in all serious did not know.
"It's an inside joke, Captain," I explained as the dish was then passed to me.
"Yeah, father," my girl Marta piped up. "You wouldn't get it."
"Well, then," was all he said as he began to help himself. Dinner was always a rather quiet time. It's hard to talk when your mouth is always filled with food. Especially hard when the food was always so delicious. These dishes must be made with love because while the dishes were rather simple, they were always superb.
"Can I please have some more?" Kurt asked holding up his empty plate.
"Kurt," Baroness Schraeder spoke up for the first time in hours. "Don't you think you've had enough?"
That left Kurt completely embarrassed. His face turned red and he slowly put his plate back down. Poor Kurt, I felt I had to do something.
"You know, Baroness," I said, holding my plate up. "This is so good, I think I would like seconds myself. It's all right, Kurt, I'll eat with you."
Kurt's face lit up with that million dollar grin of his. All the children turned to smile at me as if to thank me for helping their brother. I couldn't help but look at the captain to see what he thought of me doing this. I was rather surprised to find him smiling at me, too. Baroness Schraeder noticed and all of a sudden began to rise up.
"Well, excuse me everyone," she said, giving Captain a kiss on the cheek. "But I do believe I've had enough."
As I got the second helping on my plate, my spirits began to sink. I honestly didn't want to upset the Baroness, I just wanted to cheer Kurt up. I was now not only eating for his comfort but for my own, too. The feeling of self-loathing came back and I chewed and swallowed all my negative emotions one by one.