Chapter 2: Acquaintances
My reverie was momentarily broken by noises outside my door. I could hear what sounded like two boys approaching, arguing.
"Dude, come ON. I do NOT want to wade through eight million freshman to get my textbooks."
"Hang on for a sec, Matt. I've gotta see this - Pete says she's super-hot. And there can't be that many smart, super-hot girls, so I'm going to introduce myself. You know, offer to show her around and stuff, and see if she wants to go to the party."
I heard an exasperated sigh, and then there was a knock on the door.
"It's open!"
The door opened to reveal two boys, whose eyes widened in sudden surprise as they saw me. They were both tall, although one was blond, and the other had hair that was a shade of bronze I had only seen on one other person. My heart lurched forward, then plummeted as I realized that I knew neither of them. The blond one in front started to speak.
"Hi, I - uh, we - just wanted to stop in and say hello. I'm Chris, and this is Matt - we live downstairs. You're Isabella, right? Uh, I - uh, we - realize that you probably don't know a whole lot of people here yet, so we wanted to invite you to a party that a friend is throwing tonight ... " His voice trailed off as his initial appraising glance moved upwards, and we locked eyes. Instinctively, I think, he went very still.
The breeze caused by the open door wafted their scents toward me. I had been very careful, very conscientious about feeding steadily, but that did not stop them from smelling very, very ... delicious. Get a grip, Bella! This is only your first day. I took in one last breath, so I would be able to speak, and then held it, although I was careful to still move my chest so it looked like I was breathing.
I felt like a snake charmer - although I guess technically I had more in common with the snake. I still was not used to the effect I had on regular humans ... the wolves were immune to, or at least they chose to ignore, my more predatory attributes. I remembered, though, how mesmerized I had felt around Edward, and how dangerous he had always insisted he was. I let out a small sigh that I doubt either of them heard. I smiled and tried to look unassuming.
"Wow, thanks - I go by Bella, actually. Ah, you know, I totally promised my boyfriend that I'd call him tonight - I think he already insanely misses me. So, I think I'm just going to hang in. But thanks for inviting me, maybe some other time?" As I watched increasing discomfort manifest in Chris's body position, I figured I would give them an out.
A small measure of relief flickered across Chris's face, which had been rapidly turning whiter and whiter. Matt, however, still looked relatively unaffected, and even took a step forward. "Well, that's really too bad - if you change your mind, we're heading out around ten - just come knock on our door - it's number 106, and you're still welcome to join us. No pressure, though." As Matt spoke, I could see Chris's hand tighten on the doorknob.
Interesting, I thought. Maybe I can actually do this college thing ... I probably still won't have friends, but I could have an ... acquaintance or two. It was definitely more than I had expected, or even hoped for. I took a small breath, and was assaulted again with waves of thirst. "Thanks. I'll, uh, see how things go."
Matt smiled at me. "Great ... well, hope to see you tonight." The door shut behind them, and I instantly felt a backwash of pain. Apparently all it took was the color of someone's hair to make me forget exactly how much of a danger I still was to other people. And inwardly I cringed as I realized how much Edward was still woven into the fabric of my life, even subconsciously.
I probably should call Jake tonight. He wasn't my boyfriend, although I knew, even now, he would take the attribution willingly. I missed my wolves, though - this was the most alone I had ever felt. I have to be the weirdest vampire ever. Still a newborn, but in college, surrounded by hundreds of unsupervised, not-yet street smart kids - but it's all okay because I'm a vegetarian that was raised by wolves! I laughed bitterly to myself. At least it has worked out so far (I would not acknowledge the gaping hole in my chest that was screaming in contradiction - that nothing had, in reality, actually worked out), if in the most bizarrely non-sensical way ever. I was lucky - I knew that I pretty much owed my continued existence to Jake, who had held everything together during my transformation, and had, almost by sheer force of will, integrated me into the pack.
...
I started to hear noises around me - I kept disappearing under waves of pain, but the moments of lucidity were getting longer and longer. My first conscious thought was not even a thought at all - it was a feeling of shock. Victoria had bitten me! And this time there had been no Edward to suck out the venom. No Carlisle to hold my hand and tell me everything was going to be all right.
"She looks ... different," I heard a female voice say.
"Em, you need to get out of here," a male voice responded. "I'm not sure how long this process takes, but it looks like it's close to finished, and I only want the pack around her when she wakes up."
"I know - this is my last bag I'm taking to the car. I'll call you from Sarah's when I get there."
"I love you, Em."
"Love you, too." After a moment I thought I could hear the slam of a car door in the distance, and the rumble of an engine coming to life.
My thoughts flashed inward again. She BIT me! All the ramifications of this statement began to crash around me. I'm becoming a vampire ... wait, maybe I already am a vampire. I had always wanted to be one, to be strong and beautiful, worthy of the attentions of someone like Edward. Edward should be here. The Cullens are supposed to BE here. I felt the stirrings of anger, of grief.
Someone cleared their throat. I heard the broken tones of a younger male voice, "Jake, I'm so ... sorry. This is all my fault - I didn't realize what was going on until it was too late. If you guys hadn't crossed her scent coming back from the funeral ..."
"Look, Seth - it's not your fault. Your dad just died, and we knew that you wanted to run patrol because you needed to do something, to find a distraction. We knew that. We put too much trust into Bella simply being on the rez for safety ... and we are all responsible for this and what comes after. But don't ever think this was your fault - that honor fully belongs to that stupid, filthy bloodsucker."
I fleetingly wondered if he meant Victoria or Edward.
"What does come after?" Seth whispered.
Jacob paused. "I don't know - but I think we're about to find out."
I had been so focused on their conversation, amazed that I could keep my concentration for so long, that it took me a moment to notice the fire raging through my body was almost gone - I realized it in time to feel my heart stutter one final time and stop. I must've made a noise, because all the talking around me suddenly ceased. The silence was deafening.
I opened my eyes ... and the world was staggeringly beautiful. Just staring up at the wooden ceiling beams, I was amazed at the millions of colors and intricacies of texture weaving through the gnarled pine, the sparkling of the dust motes as they danced on unfelt breezes.
"Bella? Can you hear me?"
I sat up, moving forward so fast that I almost fell on the floor, although I paradoxically had plenty of time to catch myself and regain my balance. I instinctively took a deep breath - and was instantly on alert, jumping down into a defensive crouch, scanning for danger. I was fully surrounded by the giant forms of six wolves ... and at the same time, I noticed that I had apparently, until a moment ago, been lying on the kitchen table, although it had been moved into the living room. The wolves around me were tense, but motionless and silent. Only one human remained unphased.
"Bells? Bella? Come on, say something!" Jake pleaded with me, although he had not moved one step toward me. To his credit, he hadn't moved away either.
"Jake ... " I broke off, marvelling at the dulcet tones of my voice. "Why is the kitchen table in the living room?" The silence was punctuated by a coughing bark from one of the smaller wolves that sounded remarkably like laughter.
Jacob looked at me like I had started speaking Chinese. "Bella?" he said again slowly, questioningly.
"What, Jake?" Again, the pealing of bells.
Jacob's eyes were cautious, but his stance remained remarkably relaxed. "Are you ... er ...what are ... er ... how are you feeling?"
As soon as I processed the question, I was instantly overwhelmed by competing sensations - the cool, stagnant taste of the air, the well-worn softness of the shirt I was wearing, the way errant strands of hair were tickling the side of my face. And the fire-y parchedness building at the back of my throat. "I'm not sure yet ... but it's not ... bad." I couldn't speak for very long without becoming overwhelmed by the sound of my own voice.
"Good - we were so worried. No one has ever seen this happen before, so we weren't sure if what was going on was, ah, right," he stumbled for a moment, "but you look" - his face twisted slightly - "... fine."
My uncertainty in response to the emotions flickering across Jacob's face was quickly displaced by recalling the last events that I remembered, before that terrible fire had taken me over. "What happened to Victoria?"
Anger flashed in Jacob's eyes. "As soon as she saw we were there and she was severely outnumbered, she took off like a bolt of lightning. A couple members of the pack gave chase - but she was gone. The rest of us were more focused on you." His voice broke. "I'm so sorry, Bella - we failed you."
I was not ready to deal with all of the turbulent emotions swelling in my chest - not ready to process everything that had happened over the last three days. So, I decided on a change of tack - better to focus on the practical, I thought. "Why am I surrounded by wolves? Am I dangerous? I don't feel dangerous ... I think."
"Precaution - Sam's call. I told him if anyone could avoid going on a murderous rampage the moment they awoke - it would be you." Jacob said with a grim smile.
"Murderous rampage? But I ... oh," And with that thought, a wave of burning thirst overtook me. The wolves, seeing my unconscious reaction, tensed. I scrambled to regain control, trying to focus completely on Jacob's face ... and I realized that the wolves, including Jacob in human form, smelled pretty ... unappetizing. "I'm ok ... I think."
"You guys can stand down," Jake said, although he did not take his eyes away from my face. The wolves relaxed marginally, but still did not move, except for the smallest one, who yawned loudly and sat down.
"Don't go far, though," I added in a somewhat fearful voice. Jacob's gaze turned apprehensive. "Well, what if I am dangerous, but don't know it yet?"
His shoulders relaxed slightly and he rolled his eyes at me. "Only you, Bells."
...
From that point on, the wolves adopted me, in a sense. They had apparently decided not to kill me as I was undergoing my transformation, persuaded by a belligerent Jacob, a guilty Seth, and a nagging sense that they all might bear some responsibility for my condition. The legacy of the Cullens also meant they knew it was possible for a vampire to exist without killing people. Apparently, I was dangerous, but manageable.
All in all, it could have been a lot worse. I had no vampires to guide me, but the wolves were with me all the time, guiding and refining my hunting skills until I intimately knew all the forest around Forks within a 100 mile radius, and could kill easily and efficiently. We often worked in tandem, especially in the beginning, with the wolves running ahead to flush out prey in my direction. I also knew they were scouting for any people that might find themselves in the line of fire, and, although it remained unspoken, I was deeply grateful. My worst nightmare at this point would have been hurting or killing someone that I knew, that I cared about.
It was inevitable, though, that I would run across some unlucky person eventually. The first time I had scented a human while hunting had been the most tense moment, but a few growls and nips at my arms and legs from Jake and Seth had been enough for me to break my fixation, stop breathing, and run in the other direction.
I was hesitant to admit it, but after awhile, the long hunts in the woods, running side-by-side with members of the pack, was almost ... fun. At least, as close to fun as I was able to experience. After those first bewildering hours, I had begun to feel more like myself - which meant the return of the aching hole in my chest. I think it actually hurt worse, as my heightened senses let tidal waves of despair and grief pour over me. Jacob had been sitting with me when it happened - at first he was confused, not sure if I was still experiencing some residual pain from the transformation, or some other new vampire sensation. Something about my body position, though - the way I curled my arms around my knees and rocked back and forth - triggered a sense of the familiar, and he was the first person to touch me, to wrap his blazingly-hot arms around my chilled, hard skin, to hold me like he had done so many times, awkwardly stroking my hair.
That first night, after most of the wolves were sleeping, I was able to reflect with perfect clarity on what had just transpired, and taste the bitter irony of my position. Edward would now never be the one to change me ... or even Carlisle, or Alice. Although I was now what I thought I had wanted to be, Victoria had stolen what should have been the graduation from my old life to my new eternity with those that I loved. I felt violated in the worst way ... and angry beyond belief.