In the months after my return from death, the island, and then the mental institution, my connections to the people in my life went through several shifts. Some for better, some for worse. The most striking of these changing relationships was between myself and two young women.
I built a stronger bond with Lana, something I thought was a real friendship.
And Chloe and I were first really drawn together.
Lana was a friend to me from some of my earliest days in Smallville. She was easy to know and understand. She was also one of the rare people in town that was willing to look past my last name. She felt comfortable around me from almost the first day we met, and was easy asking for help from others. Even from people she barely knew. In many ways that was a good quality. Most people were eager to help the beautiful young brunette, and I was no exception.
Unfortunately, this also put her on the radar of dangerous and undesirable people. They saw her as an easy target. A target that could easily be manipulated and controlled.
Again, I was no exception.
Chloe was Lana's opposite in many ways. Lana loved her coffee shop, but it wasn't part of who she really was. For Chloe, being a reporter wasn't about what she did or where she worked. It was a part of who she was in her soul. This was also both a good and bad trait. Her curiosity and pride in her skills got her into more trouble than twenty cats let let loose in a fish market. But those same traits also sharpened her mind and instincts into weapons that she then used to break herself free. Though not without cost.
That the two became such friends never failed to surprise me. Lana with her prom-queen looks and sweet temperament. Chloe with her fire and snark.
Not to mention their shared love of Clark Kent.
Any two lesser women would be trying to claw out the eyes of the other as a rival. Instead they became roommates and friends.
How remarkable.
The two young women were so different - Chloe and Lana. Though between them they found far more than their fair share of trouble. How exactly that trouble came to the girls and how they dealt with it said so much about them. For my part, I tried to protect Lana whenever I could, and Chloe whenever she would let me.
Mostly trouble seemed to find Lana. She was rarely the one that sought it out. In the same way, she always looked outside herself for help. Once after being attacked, she came to me for self-defense lessons, but stopped after several weeks. Though she did keep some of the skills learned, she instead mostly chose to rely on others for protection and help. Beautiful Lana, a true damsel in distress. What she never quite understood was that few knights are as pure-hearted as Clark Kent. I'm certainly not.
Such weakness is a vulnerably and I exploited it to reshape her without conscious thought. I didn't have any intentions when I did so, but it is second nature to me to reform people and circumstances to my best advantage. I thought it was friendship, that I was making her stronger, but I wasn't. I was making her more and more dependent on me.
All action fell to me. All problem resolution was because of me.
That isn't a real friendship. That was me allowing someone to work their own way into my debt.
Not so Chloe. She seemed to seek trouble at every turn. She was always poking her nose into dangerous territory and relying on her own quick wits to save her. She genuinely thought she could bluff/sneak/think her way out of any trouble. Shockingly, she was mostly right. It also helped that she had great good luck. The number of lucky saves she had was almost equal to my own.
Even when she did get in over her head, she rarely sought help from others to save her. Her seeking shelter with me from the email killer was an exception.
And of course there was Clark. But then, there was always Clark - asked for or not.
It wasn't until much later that I really understood why Chloe so rarely sought help from others. Caught in a weak, vulnerable moment, her curious nature and hubris allowed her to fall prey to an unscrupulous manipulator. From him, she learned her lesson well about owing favors from the same hard teacher as I did - my father. When Chloe failed to abide by the terms of the "agreement" he set with her, Lionel decided to use his power over her father's position to teach her a lesson.
And to make it worse, I was the tool my father used to exact his pound of flesh. I fired Gabe Sullivan and blacklisted him at my father's order.
But that didn't keep Chloe from fighting back. In fact, I think that was a major miscalculation on my father's side.
Very few people decide to put themselves up as opponents to my father. Very few win. Even fewer live to enjoy their victories.
None were high-school girls.
From Lionel, she learned better than to let another person gain any control over who you are. I'm still impressed that even his mastery failed to turn her into his puppet. In fact, she managed better than I ever did. No matter how much I fought it, I still became in large part who my father made me.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. This is about Lana and Chloe, and how I shaped one, and the other shaped me.
Part of my nature that came from my father was how I handle people. Or more accurately, how I manipulate them. Some people are so easy to manipulate, that I don't even realize I'm doing it. It's just second nature to me.
For example, Lana.
If you ask most people that knew Lana before and after our ill-omened marriage, they would say it was during that time that I twisted her, corrupted her.
That isn't true.
It was much earlier than that.
Though the reasoning was still the same. I realize now that even back then, I was trying to manipulate Lana into becoming a match for me. Or more accurately, I was trying to shape her into the woman that was already the perfect match for me.
Chloe.
I just didn't realize yet that she was. I had a hard time seeing past her youth, funky clothes, and bright, wild hair.
Besides, I wasn't ready to accept that I wouldn't need to "fix" her to be my match. I didn't understand then that if you have to tear a person down and rebuild them to fit an image, the final result wouldn't be a partner or an equal. The result would be a twisted, broken shell.
Maybe that is why the people I find the most fascinating are the ones I have difficulty manipulating. I also find them much more frustrating. People like Clark. And Chloe.
I've found there are two main types of people that are difficult to manipulate. The first are people like Clark. People that suspect you are playing a game, but either don't care or refuse to play. These people can often be hurt by manipulations, but rarely end up placed how you would desire.
The second type of person are those like Chloe. People that see the manipulation, understand it, and are willing to use, follow, break, or tease out the game to fit their own needs. The second group can make intriguing opponents. When they are incredibly clever and determined young women they can be particularly riveting opponents.
That year, the more I got to know Chloe, the more I found myself pushing at Lana. Her sweet nature and desire to help people made her easy to manage, easy to understand and control in a way I never could with Chloe. Without conscious thought, I used my power over Lana, trying to shape her into the other girl. The more Lana came to me for help and advice, the more I pressed her. She put up some resistance, but I'm very good at what I do. She caved. Every single time. I don't think I made a single suggestion that year that she didn't conform to. I really thought I was helping her, but it was easy. Lana was always the type of person that let herself be defined by others. First her Aunt Nell, then her quarterback boyfriend, then Clark, then me. The pattern would continue through many other iterations, with her giving up control of her own self to another.
Years later, when I decided to pursue Lana, her capture was a forgone conclusion. I knew exactly how to handle the young brunette to bring her to heel. She was weak and I exploited that to bring her to me. Without conscious thought I had been pulling her tighter and tighter to me for years. Unfortunately, by the time she was fully mine, all those actions deformed her. The creature in her skin was barely recognizable as the the sweet innocent she had been before she tangled herself in my web.
Unlike Chloe.
Chloe. I could never touch the core strength of her - to corrupt it or capture it. She had reservoirs of will deeper than some oceans. Chloe was able to match me - both with me, and later against me - but she was the exception. The only exception.
Chloe had a pragmatism that let her see and manipulate the gray of life. The fascinating element was how she learned how to properly wield it without letting it inside. She would get some hard lessons early on that showed how damaging such compromising weapons can be. So she learned how to use them without succumbing to it herself. She channeled the gray without letting it touch the light within her.
And when the time came, she could fight darkness with darkness. The trick to it was, by then she knew never to use it against someone undeserving. This protected the core of her, the brightness and clarity of her.
She would use darkness against me. But then again, I certainly deserved it.
There was a time though, when she used her light for me. Light that would tempt, haunt, and obsess me for the rest of my life.
But not yet.
If you truly want to know a person, one of the most interesting experiments you can do is to give them their desire and see how they react.
For Lana, this was acceptance into a Paris art school. A ticket out a Smallville and a chance to start fresh. At first she balked over it, but I was able to show her that if you have the chance to grow, to achieve a dream, you take it. You don't quibble over the life you leave behind. As with all things, she gave in and decided to go to Paris. There was no way for us to know it at the time, but that trip would set Lana on the road to a strange and powerful darkness.
For Chloe, her granted desire was the ability to learn the truth from others. To get all the answers she so desperately craved.
Those hard lessons I mentioned? This was one. Chloe got her greatest wish, and employed it ruthlessly. For good and ill.
When Clark told me "a friend" of his had been snooping around the Levitas lab and been exposed to the substance there, I knew immediately who it was.
Chloe Sullivan.
No one else was likely to break into one of my labs just on the off chance there could be something worth the snoop.
This left me severely conflicted. The gas had a 100% mortality rate, but I couldn't think of another person that would be more likely to use their truth-telling ability more effectively than the little blonde. If she could get my father to admit to something that could satisfy the FBI, that could get me off the hook for the set-up of the lab murders.
But I didn't want her to die either.
So I decided to play both ends of the odds. As soon as I knew of the break-in, I had my team scrambling to find a cure, but until it was ready I would employ Chloe as an interrogator.
I made a call to the little blonde and told her I had an urgent matter to discuss concerning a Luthorcorp project that had me concerned. I asked her to come meet me at the mansion.
She swallowed the bait whole.
She was waiting in the study by the time I made it back to the mansion from the Levitas lab. I knew she wouldn't be able to resist the lure. Especially when it was true. "Chloe, thanks for coming."
"Yeah, well, I only have a minute. Clark just called me about a story that broke at the hospital, so..."
"Then maybe you can just give me the abridged version of your field trip to Luthor Corp the other night. Let me guess... somehow, no one can resist telling you the truth." Her expression never changed.
"Are you looking for an apology?" I suppressed a smile, though I think some of it may still have come through. Brashness and honesty all in one. I admired that.
"No." An apology was the last thing I wanted. I gripped her arms so she would understand how important my next words would be. "Chloe, I want you to use your gift to help me get back the weeks my father stole from me."
"Lex, I don't think your dad would go to such extremes to destroy those memories if they didn't pose some sort of a threat to him," she said with narrowed eyes. "Maybe you should just leave it alone." Then she walked away. My mind works fast. Even before she got to the door I realized two things.
One, she may be protecting me. That was a very strange concept, but it led me to thought Two.
If she knew to protect me...she must know what she was protecting me from. I said as much...in my way.
"Why do I get the feeling you know more about this than you're letting on?"
"I don't know anything about that." Before I had time to challenge the lie, she went on the attack. "I do know that because of you, my dad can't get a job. So why would I help you?"
And I had to tell her the truth. Even though I hadn't meant to.
"Because my father is the one who ordered his dismissal." I had to pause and admire how well the Levitas gas worked, even against me. Or maybe for me...I looked at her conspiratorially. "You know that's the truth, don't you?"
Her face turned pained. I was worried for a moment before she attacked again. "Meaning that my family's future is just one chess move in the endless game of one-upmanship played by you and your dad?"
"It's not a game, Chloe. You're the only one who can get me the truth." When my father put me on the hook for the murders he broke the rules. With a single stroke he showed me how little I mattered. I was just another tool to be wielded. My silly delusions of a better relationship between us after my return from the island were just that. Delusions.
Her eyes narrowed and she paced around me in a slightly predatory way. It was an odd sensation to feel stalked by Chloe Sullivan. "Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Why can't you just walk away from your father?"
Lost in my own thoughts, I replied without even trying to fight the truth compulsion. "Because he won't give me the only thing I've ever wanted from him."
"And that would be?"
Then I saw the trap, a yawning void. I wanted to say "respect" or "freedom" or "control of the company." But I couldn't fight the Levitas.
"I want him to love me."
My first reaction was shame. I had never wanted to admit how much I wanted that. Even knowing it would never happen. Then I realized it was the first time I had ever really admitted that. Certainly not aloud. I hadn't even wanted to admit it to myself, but there is truth in the old saw. The truth can set you free. Saying it, I knew it was truth. But even knowing that, I saw another truth. It wouldn't stop me from doing whatever I needed to.
Meeting Chloe's eyes, I saw compassion there. And something else. Understanding maybe. But not the disdain I would have expected after admitting to such a weakness.
I found myself caught in her gaze at the moment. Her eyes were deep green pools that reflected my own image back, but softer somehow. Trapped, I stared into her eyes for a long time. Too long.
I think that was the first moment I saw the light in her. She had just used her powers against me, but the gray her her action was wiped away by the brightness of her.
It gave me hope for a light in me too.
Author's Plea: I am running a winter SecretChlex story/art/vid exchange over on livejournal. If you are interested in participating, signups are now through 1/01/2015. For details, you can send me a PM or visit the livejournal page. It is secretchlex at livejournal dot com. I had to spell it out weird like that so it wouldn't be screened by FF.
Note: The LJ community is open, but may contain adult material in the stories when they are posted, so you have to agree you are 18 to see it.
Let's all spread some Chlexy love this winter!