Welcome back to my South Park fan fiction. I have to warn you that this one is shorter than both of my previous chapters. I hate it when my chapters get shorter and shorter *face palm myself* but here it is so...enjoy I guess.

commence reading...now (*-*)

A strip club.

I had walked into a strip club. The man dragged me through the large room and up onto the main stage.

"Here's where you will be working." He laughed as he walked me into a room behind a curtain. It was a room that stretched back and was filled with mirrors and racks of clothes. In a section of the room, there were a couple of couches and chairs, occupied by both men and women. They watched me as I walked past and I felt beads of nervous sweat form on my forehead. There was no going back now. The man brought me into a room separate from the one before. A tall woman with short back hair stood in the center, checking her phone.

"Hey! This guy says he wants to apply here." The man said, pushing me in front of her.

"Oh. Is that so?" She grinned, scanning me with her eyes. I nodded nervously as she turned off her phone. "Okay, show me what you can do."

"W-What?" I asked, a little shocked.

"You want to work here. This is a strip club so you're going to strip." She said, crossing her arms over her chest. I nodded as I thought about what male strippers in movies did. Unfortunately, I wasn't wearing tear-away clothes. So I just had to work with sexy. Tag always told me that if I had ever tried, I would've been a "sex god". Apparently I was sexy.

I began to swing my hips as I pulled my sweater off. I swung it around before I tossed it behind me. It felt awkward, but I went with it. I did a version of a body wave where you make your body curl like a wave as I pulled at my shirt as a tease. I pulled it off my torso in a way that it showed off my muscular form and flexed my muscles. They weren't huge, but they were toned. As I did a thrusting motion I pulled at my belt until it unhooked, dropping my jeans slightly so that they rested just below my hips. I began to pull off my jeans, but it was hard to do that in a sexy way.

"Okay, stop." The woman said blankly. I immediately took my hands off my pants and dropped them to my side. "You're hired."

"Really?" I asked excitedly.

"Yeah but you're gonna need clothes that will work with this...occupation. You can talk to some of the guys in the other room."

"Okay-"

"We work on a fair system. Even 50-50. Most clubs wont do that. They probably won't even give you 30%." I nodded before she began shooing me out.

"Wait. What days do I work?"

"Monday, Wednesday, Friday and...last do Saturday too. 10pm to 4am. Got that?"

"Yes ma'am." I nodded before putting my clothes on and hurrying out the room. I stumbled into the other room where the men and women were sitting. A man whistled to me.

"Nice walking kid. Come over here." He motioned for me to come closer and I complied. "So...you're the newbie?" He asked. He was wearing jeans and a sleeveless shirt.

"Um...yeah." I replied quietly. "Er she said to ask one of you guys about the proper clothes to wear." I said sheepishly.

"Oh. Yeah, just follow me kid." He led me to one of the racks and began to rifle through the clothes. "You see..." He began. "We do 'acts' here. We're actors...sexy actors...that take off their clothes. So we have outfits for these acts and they usually match somehow, but since you're new, you're just gonna have to wear this. It's an outfit from one of our older acts. It should fit you." He handed me an outfit in a bag.

"Thanks um..."

"Rick. Just Rick." I nodded, and he led me back to the couches. "Stripping isn't the most notable profession, so we just call each other by our first names. Well...we joke around and call each other by our stripper names too."

"Stripper names?"

"Yeah. You have to have a stripper name. I mean, you don't want the cougars to know your name do you?" The other people nodded in agreement, but I was confused.

"I-I don't have a stripper name." I said shyly.

"Well...let's call you...I don't know...hell, even White Chocolate will work."

"White Chocolate? Really?" I said, a brow raised.

"It was just a suggestion...Blonde Beast?" He asked. I thought about it for a moment. It was way better than White Chocolate.

"Okay" I nodded in agreement. He smiled and clapped me on the back. I pulled out my phone and checked the time. It was already 7:15.

"I've gotta go." Everyone waved goodbye to me, and I ran out of the building, my bag in hand.

The cold air nipped at my nose and cheeks, tinting them with a light shade of pink. I pulled my collar up to my ears as I walked faster along the broken sidewalk. I tucked my begs safely under my arm. The weather was unusually cold for Colorado, and the wind began to pick it up. When I had finally reached my house, my knuckles had gone white and I was shivering like crazy. The glow coming from the living room window of our shamble of a house looked so warm. I looked in, and saw my dad chugging down a beer with multiple empty cans by his feet. Shaking my head in disappointment, I stepped away. I didn't want to walk in to that. He probably wouldn't have hit me, but he would yell and throw an empty beer can in my direction.

Knowing my window was locked, I moved around to Karen's. Her light was off and I hoped she was asleep. Snaking me numb fingers up to her window sill, I pushed it up, opening it with a low creak. In the darkness, I saw a small figure shift. I ducked down below the window sill and hoped to God she didn't see me. I listened closely and heard her quietly mumble, and then silence.

"Well hello Kenneth." She hummed. I looked up to see her leaning out her window, grinning at me.

"H-Hey Karen. What's u-up?" I shivered.

"Get in here you dumb ass." She stuck out her hand for me to take. I did so as I crawled into her window, collapsing on the floor in a heap.

"It's cold as shit out there." I mumble. She shakes her head at me and I stand.

"What were you doing out there?"

"I was out late, and dad's drinking so I decided to come through here. You know, since my window is locked." She nodded as I gave her a quick hug. "Thanks."

"You know it's like 8 right?"

"Yeah. But I'm tired, I'm gonna go sleep now."

"Okay. See ya in the morning." She smiled before crawling back into bed. I went to my room and collapsed onto the old mattress. I didn't even care to change clothes. I laid there listening to my brother snore loudly. I couldn't sleep, but I had nothing better to do. At around 8:30 I got so bored that I sat up in bed and grabbed the bag I got from Rick. I took it into the bathroom and began to put it on.

I stared at myself in the mirror, not sure what to think. The clothes were tight. I was wearing a black vest and black bow tie, but no shirt. The pants were tight but not too tight and they were the tear-away ones. And then there was the underwear. The underwear was all black and were like briefs. There was something else in the bag too. When I looked in, I noticed a black fedora with a little not written on it.

"Here's an extra little 'prop'. Have fun! -Rick" i smirked before crumpling up the note and tossing it into the trash. Flexing in the mirror, I looked at how the outfit looked on me. I couldn't lie, it looked good on my toned body.

"Hurry up Kenny! I gotta take a shit!" Kevin shouted, while he smacked on the door.

"Well aren't you subtle."

"Shut up." I quickly took off the clothes and folded them into the bag. Now all I had to do was get out of the bathroom without Kevin noticing. Who am I kidding? I can't make it past him. He's gonna see the bag. Somehow he'll figure out what it's about, and make fun of me. Then he's gonna tell my parents. Though, they probably won't give a shit. It will still be embarrassing.

My mind raced as a shaking hand reached for the door. I twisted it open quickly and flung open the door, ready for the consequences. A strong force pressed against my back, punching me out of the door. Kevin ran in and slammed the door behind him. I let out a deep sigh, not even knowing that I was holding my breath. Checking my phone, I realized that it was 9:15. I had spent forty-five minutes in the bathroom. A wave of tiredness fell over me, and my eyes drooped and I shuffled to my bed.

The soft pillow on my bed felt like a cloud. My face was burrowed in it and I didn't want to move. I eventually fell asleep before realizing my bag was still out. My head shot up like a rocket. I jumped out of bed and grabbed the dark bag and threw it under my bed before hiding behind small boxes. Dropping back onto my bed, I allowed sleep to fill my mind and I fell asleep quickly.