Brenna's chest had never been so sore. But the poor girl just didn't feel comfortable having one of the other boys take off and put on her bandages.
Most of the boys had been really quiet for the rest of the night after they heard of Jack's actions towards Brenna and David. Nevertheless, all of the newsies on strike gathered in front of the World Distribution Center to continue their protest.
"Stop the World! No more papes! Stop the World! No more papes!"
Their loud yells rang out all across the city as they held up signs and screamed over and over again. Policemen formed a barrier in front of the gates, ready to fend off the boys. The World carriage came through the gates, which resulted in a lot of the boys ceasing their protest shouts and start yelling at the other newsies.
"Race! Help me! I need some help!" David screamed over the complete and utter chaos.
"Alright! I ain't deaf!" Racetrack yelled back.
Brenna groaned and put her hands to her head. Without Jack to lead them, this just wasn't working. They needed a leader and right now, David was not cut out for it. Jack was the only one tough enough to get them all calmed down and ready for the strike.
"Hey, Race, come here," she heard Spot say.
"What?" Racetrack asked.
"Tell me I'm seein' things. Just tell me I'm seein' things."
Brenna turned around at his words. What she saw made her horrified, angry, and utterly confused all at once.
"No, you ain't seein' things. Dat's Jack. What's he doin'?" Race said, the anger in his voice rising up.
"He's dressed like a scabber!"
Brenna looked at her friend, escorted to the front by Weasel. He was wearing this absolutely hideous gray suit with a matching cap. It didn't suit him in any way whatsoever. His nickname was Cowboy for a reason. He needed to dress like one, and this was definitely not it.
"Jack?" Mush said, going up to the line of cops. They stopped him from going to the boy. "Jack, look at me, will ya? Come on, it's me, Mush. Look at me. What are ya doin', Jack?"
"This ain't happenin'. This can't be happenin'. What are ya doin', Jack? Come on, what are ya doin'?" Blink asked angrily.
Brenna certainly was just as confused and angry as they were. But she couldn't help but notice that he didn't look…well, like a scabber usually did. Brenna prided herself on being really good at reading people's emotions, and all she saw written on Jack's face was regret.
"Hey, what is this?" Boots screamed. "Where'd he get them clothes?"
"Mr. Pulitzer picked them out himself," Weasel said with a smug smile on his face. "A special gift to a special new employee."
"He sold us out!" Spot screamed.
"Look at him in his new suit! Ya bum! I'll soak ya! Ya fink!" Race yelled at him.
"Race," Brenna said in an effort to get him to calm down. She didn't know why Jack was doing this, but she had a feeling that it was not really his choice. If that did end up being the case, the last thing he needed was all these boys yelling at him.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Spot said. "Let me get my hands dirty. Come here, ya dirty rotten scabber!" Spot jumped on the policemen in an attempt to get over the barrier but failed.
"Spot, no!" Brenna cried.
As the newsies tried to pull Spot away from the cops, she felt a hand grasp hers. When she looked up, she realized it was David. He sent her a silent message through his eyes that she immediately understood. He pulled her over calmly to the police line and stood there.
"Aw, you wanna talk to him?" Weasel said to them. "Come on, come on. Sure. Go right ahead!"
Brenna saw that Jack was holding his head in his hand. If that wasn't a sign of regret, she didn't know what was. He looked absolutely miserable, no doubt the boys' comments really hitting him hard.
Brenna and David went up to Jack. He watched them approach and knew that this was not going to be a fun conversation. He was already mad at himself for doing this to all of his friends, but he knew that he was protecting them, even if they didn't see it like that.
"So, this is why you didn't escape last night!" David said angrily.
"Yeah," Jack answered quietly.
"You're a liar!"
"David!" Brenna said admonishingly.
"You lied about everything. You lied about your father being out west, 'cause he's not out west! You didn't even tell me your real name!"
"David, I told you…"
"So? What ya wanna do about it, Dave?" Jack said. His tone surprised her. He had never spoken that way to any of the newsies before the entire time she had known him. Maybe he wasn't as full of regret as she thought.
"I don't understand you."
"Oh, so let me spell it out for ya."
"Jack!"
"Ya see, I ain't got nobody tuckin' me in at night, like you."
"Oh, and I suppose I did?" Brenna asked angrily. Anger was beginning to rise up inside her at the way Jack was talking to them. She tried to think about how he had looked so full of regret, but the images were quickly being clouded over.
"Ya used to!" he responded. "Ya had a mudder and fadder to care for ya."
"I haven't had a mother or father to care for me since I was eleven years old. Just so you know, that was six years ago!"
"I haven't had anyone to care for me since I was seven. Dat's ten years ago! So, with me, it's just me. I gotta look out for myself."
"You had the newsies!" David insisted.
"Oh, what'd being a newsie ever give me but a dime a day and a few black eyes?"
"You don't mean that," Brenna said.
Of course he didn't. But he had to keep them away. He had to keep them safe from Pulitzer. "Yeah, I do," he lied. "Ya know, I can't afford to be a kid no more. For da first time in my life, I got money in my pockets. Real money. Money, you understand?"
"What did that ever matter to you?!"
"It always has! I got more on the way and as soon as I collect, I'm gone, I'm away. Alright?"
"What?" Sure Brenna had known that he wanted nothing more than to get to Santa Fe, and she had encouraged it. But now that there was actually a possibility of him leaving, she didn't think she could bear it, even if he was allegedly betraying them. Despite the circumstances, Jack was a huge part of her life and she didn't think she could just let him go so easily.
"Well, that's good!" David screamed. "That's good because we don't need you! We don't need you! 'Cause all those words you said, those were mine."
"Yeah, but you never had da guts to put them across yourself, didja?"
"Jack!" Brenna said again. She couldn't handle the way he was talking to them much longer. It was up to her to get the facts out of him.
"I do now," David answered. Well, he had certainly gotten over his shyness. There was still hope for him to become a real newsie and a good strike leader. He started to walk away, but Brenna stayed.
"Jack, what's really going on with you?" she asked him. "This…isn't you."
Jack knew what he had to do, and he hated himself for it. He tried to tell himself that what he was about to do was for Brenna's safety. He really cared about the girl, and the thought of her trying to make it in jail with a ton of men who wouldn't hesitate to take advantage of her sickened him. He had to push her away. And there was only one way he could do that.
"I'll tell it to ya straight, Tricks," Jack said angrily. "I have to get away. From everyone. Especially from you." Brenna felt her heart break right into two pieces. Where was this coming from? She and Jack had always gotten along and were really good friends. Right? "Do ya know how hard it's been on me these last few years tryin' to put up with ya?"
"Jack…" Brenna said speechless. "I'm sorry. I didn't think that…"
"No, ya didn't think! Because ya never think of anyone but yourself!"
"No, that's not true!"
"Yes, it is. Look, I'm tired of havin' to help ya get ready every mornin', I'm tired of havin' to keep your secret, I'm tired of havin' to protect ya all da time, and I'm just plain tired of you!"
Jack watched as her eyes misted over with tears at his hurtful words. He had never felt so terrible in his life.
"Jack…" Brenna said, her voice cracking.
He had to say it. He had to keep her safe. "Ya know what? I wish I had never saved you dat day on da street!"
Brenna gasped at his words. Her mouth was open in shock. She felt like she had just been punched in the stomach several times over. She slowly backed away from him, unable to stand in front of him any longer. Her eyes filled with tears as she walked through the crowd of newsies, numb to everything else around her, even all the angry shouts that echoed behind her. She slowly walked further and further away from them. She then found herself in alley. That's where she broke down into violent sobs on the ground. Tears spilled down her cheeks at an alarming rate.
After she managed to stop gasping for breath from her crying, she found herself singing softly:
Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
Tears continued to fall down her cheeks as she sang. She took off her cap to let her hair down. Right now, she wanted to be herself, and no one paid attention to her in the alley anyway. She wanted to go to Jack. She wanted to know why he said those terrible words to her. At the same time, she didn't want anything to do with him. His words replayed over and over again in her mind. She would've gone with him all the way to Santa Fe if he had allowed her to come. She shared a bond with him that could not be broken. At least, she thought it couldn't.
And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all
And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl
She had never felt so hurt in a very long time. She knew that she would make mistakes, but Jack was always there to help her out. He was always there for her. Was.
And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I lost
And I'm saying goodbye
Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you
And anywhere I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something
Brenna stayed out there in the alley for hours on end. Then her thoughts were interrupted by someone's voice behind her.
"Hey, are you alright?"
She whipped around to find that Denton was the owner of the voice.
"Trickster?" he said in surprise.
Brenna sighed. Now he knew her secret too. She was not in the mood for this. "Yeah," she sniffed. "Now you know the big secret. I'm actually a girl." She furiously wiped tears from her red cheeks. "But why I'm upset is none of your business."
She pushed past him, but he called after her, "Why isn't it my business?"
Brenna furiously whipped around. "Because if you had just been there with us, defending us, then you would know."
She walked off before he could say anything else to her. She tucked her hair into her hat as she walked back to the Lodging House in order to get past Kloppman. After all, she had a feeling most of the newsies had returned early from striking.
Sure enough, when she headed back in, all of the Manhattan newsies had crowded into the bed area, some of them plotting on how to kill Jack. But she knew that they were just working out their anger. She was oblivious to the stares she got from her fellow strikers. She just went to her bed and sat down on it.
Brenna sat on the bed until the sun went down, twisting her cap in her hands until it had wrinkled considerably.
She felt a lone tear travel down her right cheek as she heard Jack's words once more.
Racetrack went over to her and sat down next to her. "Heya, Tricks," he said with nothing but compassion in his voice.
Brenna wiped her eyes again. "I'm sorry. I am blowing my cover. Newsies…newsies don't cry. After all this time keeping my secret well hidden, I am not going to let it out now. I'm sorry. I'll pull it together, I promise. I'm sorry. I'm sorry…"
Racetrack put his hand on her. "Ya don't have to apologize, Tricks. Look, ya may be a newsie, but you're still a girl. And girls is just more emotional than boys, we get dat. Especially when dat girl is smitten. Even more so when da one she's smitten with is Jack Kelly."
Brenna looked at him. She had never actually considered the idea that she was in love with Jack. But now that he said that, it all made sense. It made sense why she felt weird inside when she saw Sarah look at him longingly and when Jack said she fed him breakfast and when he sang directly to her at the rally, why she was always so happy when he was around, and why his words had hurt her so much more than she thought they would.
"He really hurt ya today, didn't he?"
Brenna felt more tears form in her eyes as she slowly nodded. "Yeah. It hurt. A lot." Against her will, she held her head in her hands and began to sob again. Every single one of the boys in the Lodging House came over to her and put their hands on her. She could hear them telling her that it was going to be okay and that they were all there for her. Brenna loved these boys now more than ever.
When she had finally calmed down and the boys started getting ready for sleep, Brenna went up to Racetrack.
"Hey, Race?" she said quietly.
"Yeah?"
"Could you…help me?"
Racetrack realized that since Jack hadn't been at the Lodging House for three nights, no one had been there to help Brenna get her bandages off. "Of course."
The two of them went to the washroom and got into the stalls. It was awkward for both of them, but not as awkward as they thought it would be. For the first time, someone other than Jack was helping her take her bandages off. And as soon as they were off, and Racetrack left her to finish dressing, she took a lot of deep breaths. Her chest hurt a lot from being bound so tightly for so long. She threw her shirt back on and waited for all the boys to fall asleep.
Then, she snuck out of the Lodging House and headed to where she knew they were putting Jack for the night.
As she walked to the Distribution Center, she felt herself getting angrier and angrier with each step. She began to sing again:
I need an answer
Some way to understand
This feels so convincing
And a little outta hand
So tell me one thing
Who gave you all those scars
That took away your innocence
You push away with everything you are
Brenna had to understand why Jack did what he did and said what he said. Who convinced him to do that? Why did he push everyone away today?
I can't take this anymore
I'm tired of breaking
I'm tired of breaking
Her eyes were stinging from all the tears that had spilled out over the course of the day. She was done with the tears for now. Now all she wanted was answers.
I want the world to see
You sold a broken dream
You were not there for me
I was unraveling
All that we never knew
That could have been me and you
But you took everything
Now we're just here unraveling
He had betrayed her and hurt her deeper than she had ever felt. There had been so much that they could've done. They could've gotten out of New York together and formed the relationship she had subconsciously always been wanting. Her relationship with him was crumbling by the second. Both of them were falling apart slowly but surely.
So here we are now
Break what's already broken
I guess I coulda seen this coming
If you'd been around
Let's tear the past wide open
Brenna began to do a fierce dance in the empty streets of New York as she sang at the top of her lungs. She was angry at Jack. She had never felt so angry before. Her dance became wilder with sharper movements as she continued with her song.
What have we become?
The hopeless tonight and I think it's over
We hope to find the truth still breathing
Can we survive the low?
Could they get out of this? Was this whole situation going to be reparable? Hopefully, after she went to go see him, she could begin to undo what Jack had completely destroyed today.
Brenna continued to hop over several objects and continued her dance. With each dance move she did, she could feel some of her anger leaking out of her, preparing her for the conversation she was about to have.
When she finally finished her song, she took some heaving breaths, the sheer exertion from her wild dance taking its toll on her body.
She found herself in front of the Distribution Center. It was now or never.
Phew...okay, so lots of drama in this chapter! I actually use that scene with Jack and Brenna to practice my fake-crying (yes, I'm an actress). I've gotten pretty darn good at it...
Some of you may have noticed that Brenna suddenly dropped her New York accent. I did that for a reason. You know how David doesn't have a thick New York accent like the others because he was raised by a family who didn't have that thick accent? Well, I imagined that Brenna lived like that for a while with her own family. When she became a newsie, over time, she picked up that thick New York accent. However, when she's angry and upset, she kind of just "forgets" to use it. So when Jack is basically killing her with his words, she's so angry and hurt that her accent disappears.
The song Brenna sings after Jack hurts her is "Say Something" by A Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera (Yes, I did change a couple of the lyrics to better suit the situation). The song she sings on the way to the Distribution Center is "Unraveling" by Sevendust.