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Confrontations

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Setup: Season 1, episode 10, The Mourning After. Bo visits Lauren in the lab to pick up an autopsy report. They have a tense confrontation about the 'spy bang,' when they slept together for the first time and Bo found out that Lauren had been sent by the Ash. Backstory is all canon up to this point. Unoriginal dialogue owned by Showcase is in bold italics.

"Also, she had sex, about an hour prior to her death. Appears consensual."

"Not so sure I trust your judgment on sexual matters."

"Pardon?"

"I mean, let's say hypothetically, that one party felt the connection was real, and then found out the other was just manipulating them into bed to impress their controlling asshat of a boss."

"Bo, I know that's what it looked like, but it's not how it happened. This has been a train wreck of misunderstandings."

"Oh, it's a train wreck all right. Apparently caused by human error." Bo dismissively tossed the autopsy folder on the counter, but before she could turn to leave, Lauren caught her by the wrist.

"Bo."

Bo angrily twisted out of her grip. "WHAT?" She practically growled.

"I'm sorry you're so angry, I'm sorry that you feel betrayed, and I hate that I've lost your trust. But –"

"Save it. I already got your damn voicemails." Bo's voice was full of bitterness, but she felt her resolve wavering as she looked into Lauren's watery eyes, which made her even angrier – at her own weakness. She wanted to turn and march out in a huff right then, to have the last word, to hurt Lauren with her cold disdain; but instead she cursed herself for hesitating a few seconds too long, giving Lauren another opportunity to get under her skin.

"Bo, worst of all I am just utterly heartsick that you think our night together was a meaningless game to me. It wasn't. The connection was real. And it meant more to me than you'll ever know." The tears finally spilled on to Lauren's cheeks, but she was determined to hold back her sobs until after Bo left. "If you ever need anything, or want to talk, you know where to find me. But I won't bother you again. I'll arrange for a nurse to administer your injections." Before Bo had a chance to throw more hurtful words in her face, Lauren turned and walked to her office and shut the door behind her so she could fall apart in privacy.

Bo was momentarily stunned – by Lauren's revelation as well as her speedy exit. She felt the first hints of regret and guilt seep into her consciousness, but quickly willed herself to snap out of it. I will not let her emotionally manipulate me again. Bo resolutely hardened her heart again and took off for the Dal to pick up Kenzi for a client meeting.

But as the saying goes, 'the lady doth protest too much.' Somewhere in the depths of Bo's unconscious mind she knew that it was taking far too much effort to convince herself that Lauren's confession was disingenuous. All the way to the Dal she was haunted by the vision of Lauren looking so hollow and completely broken.

Bo was just about to go inside the Dal when she involuntarily stopped in her tracks outside the door. She shook her head and just stood there with her eyes clamped shut, jaw clenched, and both hands balled into fists as she struggled with her warring emotions. After a couple of minutes, Bo's anger begrudgingly surrendered. "Dammit!" Before she was even aware she had made a decision, Bo found herself back in the Camaro and speeding toward the Light compound.

When Bo arrived back at the lab, there was no sign of Lauren. She glanced over at Lauren's office and noticed the door was closed, but she could see light coming from under it. Bo walked right in without knocking, startling Lauren out of her nearly catatonic state. Her face was red and splotchy, her eyes bloodshot, and her desk was covered with wads of used tissues.

Lauren's obvious fragility tugged at Bo's heart, but she was too stubborn to drop her steely bravado just yet. She closed the door, turned back to Lauren and defiantly crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Talk." she demanded curtly.

Lauren stared up at Bo in wide-eyed shock. She never imagined that she would see Bo again so soon; all of the things she had wanted to say were on the tip of her tongue, but they were a jumbled mess. Lauren grabbed a fresh tissue and blew her nose. She looked back up at Bo and swallowed hard.

"I'm not even sure where I should start."

"Why don't you start with how your pimp sent you off to fuck the succubus so he could protect his good buddy Vex." Bo internally winced at her own viciousness.

Lauren looked down at her desk and breathed deeply in an effort to keep her composure as Bo's words cut her to the bone. "Did you come back here for answers or just to be cruel?" she asked quietly. Her tone was wounded and vulnerable, and not at all sarcastic or confrontational. And it created the first crack in Bo's armor.

Bo closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to rein in her temper. "You're right, that was uncalled for." She pulled up a chair and sat down so she wasn't towering over Lauren – she looked small enough already. "Just start from the beginning."

Lauren wiped her eyes and cleared her throat. "The Ash summoned me and told me that you were planning to avenge the deaths of Lou and her children. He said if you killed Vex, then the Dark would kill you. I was alarmed and asked what I should do. The Ash said he needed time to negotiate with the Morrigan – and yes, he did tell me to keep you 'distracted,' but he left that up to interpretation."

Lauren could tell that Bo was starting to seethe again, but surprisingly she stayed quiet and instead just held the arms of her chair in a white-knuckled grip.

"I was really worried for you and I also knew that a confrontation with Vex could start a war, and obviously I didn't want any more bloodshed. But I also did some snooping around to find out more about Vex. When I found out what kind of Fae he is and what he's capable of, my worry turned to blind terror. It doesn't matter how brave, strong, or determined you are, nobody fights a Mesmer and lives. I knew that if you went up against Vex he would turn you into a helpless puppet and make you violently kill yourself with just a wave of his hand – and he wouldn't even have to be near you to do it. The next morning I was so caught off guard that I stumbled all over myself trying to explain and I only made it worse. After you left I was absolutely frantic. I swallowed my pride and ran to Dyson. I swear to you Bo, if Dyson hadn't gotten to you before Vex did, you would not be alive and standing here."

"Yeah well, he didn't. I was already fighting Vex when he showed up."

"You actually fought with Vex? How is that even possible?"

"Trick gave me a special sword that protects the user from corruption. So I guess it protected me from Vex's influence."

"I've never heard of a weapon that can do that. I honestly thought you were running off to your own execution. My god Bo, you have no idea how lucky you were to have it!"

Bo looked away and sighed in frustration. "I do actually." She didn't know why she was telling Lauren all of this since it obviously proved that she was right to think Bo couldn't handle Vex. "Before I could draw the sword he already had control of my knife. He could've killed me in one blow if he wanted, but the sick fuck wanted to make it slow and painful so he made me stab myself in the gut. Luckily he was only controlling one hand. I finally managed to use the other to grab the sword."

"Oh god!" Lauren gasped and covered her mouth in horror. "I was supposed to warn you about Vex's abilities the night before. Bo, I'm so sorry!" A fresh wave of tears flowed over her cheeks.

"Look, I'm the idiot who ran off to fight without bothering to find out what kind of power he had. But it's over and done and I'm all healed, so just don't worry about it. Besides, what I'm really angry about is that you used sex and emotional manipulation to keep me distracted."

"But I wasn't trying to manipulate you! Despite the Ash's creepy innuendo, my agenda was simply to reason with you, not to seduce you or to deceive you. Once I found out about Vex, I thought I could make you come to your senses if you understood how deadly and invincible a Mesmer is. Bo, I only went to your house because I care abou –"

Lauren abruptly stopped mid-sentence and looked up at the ceiling, exhaled forcefully, and chuckled sadly as new tears filled her eyes.

"What?" Bo demanded, sounding angrier than she intended. "You only went to my house because of what?"

"It's just…" Lauren shook her head and closed her eyes for a moment. "Oh, what the hell…" She shrugged in resignation and wiped away a few errant tears before she found her voice again. "You already think I'm a whore, so it's not as if I have any dignity left to salvage anyway. So I might as well be honest."

"Well yeah, considering honesty is the whole point of this conversation."

Despite feeling utterly pathetic, Lauren forced herself to look directly at Bo. "I went to your house because I love you, Bo. I have for a while now. Being around you made me feel more alive and complete than I have in years – you awakened something in me that I thought had died a long time ago. I know that it's crazy and irrational and too fast, but I just couldn't help it despite my better judgment. Bo, I love you and I truly feared for your life. I went to your house so I could convince you to abandon your suicide mission. But we had barely started our conversation when you suddenly got up to leave. So I grabbed your hand to get you to sit back down and…and all it took was one look into your eyes, and my big speech about Fae wars and invincible Mesmers just evaporated into thin air. And I just…"

"You just what?" Bo asked softly. Her tone was unreadable, but her eyes were slightly watery.

"I don't know…it was the first time we had ever been completely alone, for once I didn't have a goddamned curfew, and you had been talking about wanting a normal human life and someone to live it with you, and…and in that instant, all my bottled up emotions just overwhelmed me and suddenly I was kissing you. It was one of the most irrational and impulsive things I've ever done in my life, but it came straight from my heart, Bo. And as much as I regret how everything got so fucked up between us, I will never regret making love to you."

It took all of Bo's mental energy to keep her expression neutral, but she couldn't stop the tears from finally sliding down her face. Bo's eyes had been helplessly locked on Lauren's from the moment she declared her love, but Bo broke eye contact once her own tears began to fall; she wasn't ready to let Lauren see her vulnerable yet.

After a painfully awkward silence, Bo finally stood up. "I – I have to go." There was no venom in her voice; she just couldn't think of what else she could say that wouldn't make her lose her composure. Without looking back, Bo left the office and quietly closed the door behind her, once again leaving Lauren alone with her tears.

An hour later, Bo finally dragged herself into the Dal to pick up Kenzi, who was nursing a bottle of vodka and chatting with Trick. Bo had been in a daze since she left Lauren's office and had lost all sense of time; as she trudged over to the bar, she mentally winced as she realized how late she was.

"BoBo, where the hell have you been? And why wouldn't you answer my texts?" Kenzi finally noticed how defeated and disheveled Bo Looked. "And why do you look like shit?"

"Good to see you, Bo." Trick greeted warmly. "I'm glad we didn't have to send out a search party."

"Hey Trick. Come on Kenz, we have to get going so I can go grovel to our client. I'll answer questions later."

"I already talked to Colette and told her you got held up tracking down a lead. I didn't know how long you would be gone so I rescheduled for tomorrow morning."

"Shit, I'm sorry. I totally suck. But thanks for covering for me." Bo wearily climbed onto the barstool next to her BFF, then she smirked and raised an eyebrow. "But I guess it's just as well, because you pretty much reek like a distillery Kenz."

"Oh please. I'm still perfectly sober. Ok, well maybe a little buzzed. But this is so not about me. Considering you look like a kicked puppy, I think you're the one in need of libation."

"So, let me guess…" said Trick as he reached under the bar and brought out a bottle of green liquor. "…this is a Buckthorn moment, isn't it?"

Bo chuckled and rolled her eyes. "You guys know me far too well. Hit me with the hooch, barkeep."

Kenzi waited until Bo had knocked back two shots before she questioned her bestie again. "So Bo-dacious, are you gonna tell us what you've been up to for the last couple hours?"

"Lauren."

"Shit! Well that explains the sweatiness, rumpled clothes, and bad hair. You two had angry, skanky frenemy sex, didn't you?"

"You know, I really should get back to polishing those glasses! I'll leave the bottle with you. Enjoy ladies!" Trick made a hasty exit before he could get trapped in a conversation about his granddaughter's sex life.

"No! No sex! We just talked…but it kinda messed with my head. So I just needed to go do something to unscramble my brain and purge some of the bullshit."

"What kind of something?"

Bo grinned sheepishly. "I went back to that abandoned car we smashed up and I smashed it up some more. Exhausting, but fairly cathartic."

"Oh my god, what did that ho-bag bitch say to you?"

Bo sighed heavily. "That's the thing, Kenz." She poured herself another shot and quickly knocked it back. "What messed with my head was finding out that she's not a ho-bag bitch. And that I'm a hot-headed idiot."

"Bullshit. She spy-banged you for the goddamned Ash! Don't you dare let her pull your emotional puppet strings and make you take the blame for this mess."

"Kenzi, chill. It's not that simple. It really wasn't like that at all. And I'm not going into the details because it wouldn't be right to talk about Lauren's personal stuff, ok? But we had a long talk about what really happened, and she was right, I jumped to conclusions and I really didn't know the whole story. Hell, I probably didn't want to know the whole story, because it made being angry easier."

"But she broke your heart."

"No, I did that to myself by thinking the worst and refusing to listen to her." Bo sighed regretfully. "And in the process I broke her heart. And I'm not sure how I can put it back together."

"So you're not mad at her anymore?"

"No, I'm not. But she doesn't know that yet. I just ran out of there like a coward because my head was swimming and I was scared of my own feelings. I had no reason to be mad at her anymore, but yet I still had all this anger in me, and it was all really confusing. So I visited the junk car instead."

"And did the junk car impart any wisdom while you were beating the living shit out of it? Do you know what you're really angry about?"

"Pretty much everything in my life that's out of my control, that makes me feel powerless. Not knowing where I come from, running into dead ends trying to find out, I couldn't save Lou, I couldn't get any information or justice from Vex, Dyson's mixed signals, the Fae and their traditions always trying to control my life and my choices, and angry at myself for hurting Lauren by being so damned bull-headed. She's really devastated, Kenz."

"Well BoBo, unlike everything else on that long list of suckage, you being bull-headed and hurting your girl is not something you're powerless to fix. You can't take it back, but you can try to make it better. Then the rest is up to her."

It had been a long, draining day at the lab and Lauren couldn't get home soon enough. She just wanted a hot bath, and enough good wine to drown her sorrows, so she could actually get some real sleep for a change. As she turned down the hallway towards her apartment she was startled to see someone sitting on the floor outside her door. Whoever it was, they were cast in shadow due to several burned out light bulbs. She stopped in her tracks as she tried to decide whether to keep walking, leave and wait them out, or call security. As Lauren squinted down the hallway, the stranger stood up and faced her. Lauren still couldn't see a face, but she easily recognized Bo's silhouette. Shit!

Lauren debated just walking away. She had had her fill of heartbreak and humiliation today. But yet she was so close to that hot bath and wine. Dammit, this is my home. I won't be intimidated. Bo hadn't moved or said anything; she just waited. Lauren finally took a deep breath and walked purposefully to her apartment door.

"Why are you here, Bo?" Lauren asked as she neared her apartment. "How much more do I have to hurt until you're satisfied?" Bo still didn't respond. When Lauren arrived at her door she stood toe-to-toe with Bo and looked into her red-rimmed, watery eyes. "Bo, what do you want from m –"

Lauren's voice was immediately muffled as she felt the gentle pressure of soft lips on her own. She tensed up from the shock, but within a few moments her body realized that she was finally home again, in Bo's warm embrace. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes as she was reacquainted with her lover's touch. They held each other tighter and tighter as their sensual kisses deepened with their increasing passions.

In an uncharacteristic display of self-restraint, Bo gently pulled back from their kiss so she could look directly at Lauren. Bo stroked a lock of blonde hair framing Lauren's face and then caressed her cheek. "I have been such an ass. I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you, Lauren. And I have no idea where or how we go from here. But you need to know, I love you too."

Lauren's teary face lit up brightly with Bo's declaration. "I love you, Bo. So much. Thank you for coming back to me." She placed a tender but chaste kiss on Bo's lips, and then eased out of their embrace so she could find her keys and unlock the door.

"Bo my love, the 'wheres' and the 'hows' can wait." With a coy smile, Lauren opened the door and ushered Bo inside. "Let's just focus on tonight."

FIN