Disclaimer: I don't own it n.n!

Would ya look at that. I'm in a one-shot writing mood, I guess... I just can't seem to get Cats, Dog's and a Little Bit of Magic or A Cat's Death Wish out of my brain at the moment. -Sigh- So, I'll upload one-shots instead!

This work of art is all about when Kyo gets 'the runs', and I personally hate them. Anybody that has had them would probably hate them just as much, right? Anywho, yeah, moving on, this was written just for Shnoogie n.n! I love torturing Kyo... and you can blame her for me doing so. Whoot!

Anywhos, enjoy, and please review n.n!

Sick Kitty

"I feel... sick." Kyo said randomly, as he opened his eyes and sat up. "My stomach is all... weird." His eyes snapped open, his face contorted, and he screamed; "I NEED THE TOILET!" He jumped out of bed, tripping and falling face flat into the ground, tangled in the bedding, he untangled himself, raced through his rice paper door, and to the toilet, only to discover it occupied. "Hurry. Up. Hurry. Up!" He repeated, dancing back and forth on both feet, his hands on his ass. When he heard the toilet flush, he banged on the door.

Shigure, who had been in the toilet at the time, opened the door and started to say; "You're going to have to wait, Kyo-kun!" But only got half way through the sentence, when the door was jerked from his grip, he was shut out in the hall, and the door was shut again, this time Kyo on the inside. "Kyo-kun... I haven't washed my hands yet!"

A slightly panicked reply came from the bathroom, "I don't give a damn!"

Shigure blinked, bewildered, he turned to look at Yuki who it seemed had walked in at the exact moment Kyo had yanked the door from him. Yuki answered the questioning look that had appeared in Shigure's eyes. "I'd say the cat has the runs."

"I DO NOT!" Kyo screamed from inside the bathroom, outside, Shigure and Yuki sighed. Finally, Yuki said;

"Don't be in denial Kyo."

"I AM NOT!" Kyo screamed back.

"Shigure, it seems that Kyo's brain is in three-word-sentences land. You're the literature genius, fix him." Yuki said as he passed Shigure, ignoring the rather unpleasant sounds coming from the bathroom.

"Kyo's bowels are empty!" Shigure sang, now sitting opposite to Kyo, who was staring at his food without an appetite.

"Shut it!" Kyo glared.

But, really, Shigure singing about the fact that Kyo had emptied about three days worth of waste in the space of five minutes really wasn't something that was suitable for singing about, but, then again, Shigure sang about a lot worse things, and those things will not be mentioned in this fanfiction, because the rating would have to be bumped up a notch. But, in any case, one thing was for certain – Kyo wasn't going to school.

"I'm so sorry to hear you aren't well!" Tohru had squealed at Kyo as he'd finally emerged from the bathroom, "Is it food poisoning? Did I poison you? Oh I'm so sorry, Kyoooo! May the God in heaven strike me down for such an act!"

"Tohru."

"May he slaughter me, one of his lamb-"

Kyo put a hand on Tohru's head, and she turned, looking teary eyed up at Kyo. He sighed; "It's not your fault I'm... unwell."

"It isn't?"

Kyo nodded.

"So it is!"

Kyo shook his head.

"It's not?"

Kyo nodded again.

"So it is! Kyo, I'm-"

"It's not, Tohru. It's not your fault. Don't worry about it, okay?"

"Ah, youth! It's lovely." Shigure had said, grinning and holding their – new – handless phone. "Ah, yes, sorry about that, is Hatori around? I have a sick boy here that needs-" The phone was yanked from Shigure's hand by Kyo, and he clicked the red phone that symbolised hanging up. He then said very threateningly;

"I. Do. Not. Need. Hatori!"

"Why not?" Tohru asked innocently.

"Well, you see," Shigure answered, cutting over Kyo, who was about to say something stupid, "poor Kyo's so embarrassed about... no... wait..." he paused, working his way into a dramatic stage; "You see, Tohru, Kyo's secretly in love with Hatori! So, he's embarrassed to let Hatori see him like this... oh, the drama!"

"That has to be the stupidest thing you've said all day." Yuki commented, walking up the stairs to get to his room. It went unnoticed by all, seeing as Tohru was now giving Kyo a lecture on how wonderful it is to hear him say that he likes somebody, while Kyo was attempting to strangle Shigure from behind. All in all, Yuki found that scene just a little bit kinky.

"So, where is he?" Hatori asked, walking up the stairs, followed by Shigure, who was grinning widely. Hatori paused looking at the closed bathroom door, instantaneously hearing the toilet flush, then the tap and then watched it open, with a not-very-happy Kyo appearing on the other side. "Ah. Kyo. Found you." He paused, looking at Kyo, "had another attack, I see?"

Kyo's face became unreadable, and Shigure started to giggle softly.

"I guess I won't be needing these then." Hatori continued, holding up a bottle of laxatives and pocketing them again.

Kyo's face turned to rage, while Shigure erupted in extremely loud laughter.

"I know it's not very pleasant, Kyo." Hatori said, taking Kyo's temperature, "the runs never is." He read the temperature, before looking at Shigure. "In any case, you will need to stay home until it clears, staying near the toilet is better, so you don't have an accident."

"I will not!" Kyo glared, Hatori just shrugged.

"In any case, it's a shame I didn't have to use these." Hatori sighed, holding up the bottle of laxatives. "I do so love them."

That being said, Hatori was avoided by Kyo for at least three months afterwards. Kyo felt better in a week, but Yuki contracted it afterwards (Hatori fed him laxatives regardless), luckily, neither Tohru nor Shigure got it, but Shigure found the whole thing hilarious. And then, life resumed as normal, but the bathroom would never smell quite the same again.