A/N: Back with another update. It took forever but finally I've gotten around to it!
I'd been sitting for several grueling hours, perched on a sky scraping oak tree that I'd seemingly gotten myself stuck on. But at the moment, getting down was not what I was worried about. I was more worried that I'd have to face Sawyer, or even worse, Peter. Surely Sawyer would've said something to Peter about my will to run from my problems again. And though my hard disposition had in fact faltered in front of my friend, I was slowly trying to patch the pieces back together so that they could never come undone again. Not in front of anyone.
And when I peered below me from one of the highest, thickest branches, the ground was a pale blur of green from the foggy atmosphere of dawn. I hadn't slept, I hadn't even attempted to. It was too much work to even try and shut my bilious brain down so my anxiety could settle, let alone sleep, which was a speck in the distance that was miles away. It felt too far out of reach to even begin to fathom grasping right now.
Though I knew someone would try to pry me from this tree branch soon, and I knew as soon as my feet touched the ground that I'd be back at running from my problems. I'd have to face Naira, and the map, and Wendy, and my feelings for Peter if I was on the ground. So, at least procrastination had agreed to be my friend for the past few hours, so I could catch some kind of break.
The insatiable feeling of loneliness had been building these past few minutes, but I still didn't want to be near anyone. And somehow I feel like I'm going a little bit insane, considering my mind is swerving in all different directions.
Basically, I'm an overall mess. I'm a tornado sweeping up all of these unwanted thoughts and throwing them against the walls of my brain. I felt like I was about to implode and fall to my death, but then again, maybe that wouldn't be as awful as facing the troubles of Neverland. And even though my view was perfect, the sun rising and setting a brazen light on the horizon above the ocean, my mood was anything but.
A soft chime in my ear startled me from my thoughts, and I turned my head to see Tink flittering above my shoulder. Her blonde bun sparkled from the rays of dawn, and her eyes resembled pools of turquoise water. She met my gaze, a look of curiosity stretching through her nimble features at me.
"Hey, Tink," I whispered, turning back to face the horizon, which seemed far more interesting than talking.
"Birdie," She greeted, only a hint of her usual sass underneath her casual tone of chimes. "You know you have to get down now."
I sighed, my shoulders drooping in worry, "I know, but can't you tell the boys I'm missing in action or something? I'd rather not go back right now."
"No," said Tink as she perched her herself on my shoulder. "You know Peter would kill both of us, he sent me out a few minutes ago to find you. He said Sawyer was with you late last night and you ran away."
Tink was tiny; a fragile looking Pixie yet was the most strong-willed one I'd ever met. And sometimes I believed that others perceived her to be something she was not, which was some impertinent fairy that would rather murder you than befriend you. In some cases it was true, but she could be rather amiable on good days.
A groan escaped my lips, "I don't want to go back." was my meager reply.
Tink frowned, "Hey, what happened to the Birdie that would strut back to Home Tree instead of waiting for someone to come get her?"
And she was right, though the insatiable feeling of anxiety was eating me alive, "I know, Tink, but I just feel like there's so much going on."
"Of course there is," she chimed. "It's Neverland. When is there not?"
After several inveterate minutes of Tink's encouraging words that barely had any type of affect on me, somehow she managed to force me down the tree that had comforted me in a time of need. And somehow she managed to keep me strolling at a balanced pace through the foliage of the island, which somehow, had become rather interesting. But only because it was a way to escape the deathbed I felt I were approaching. Stepping over broken logs with the ripped soles of my boots only distracted me enough to rid my mind of the nagging feeling that was yanking at it.
When Home Tree came into view, I paused in my steps and stared at it as a result of my growing nerves. It was rather large, but not nearly as large as the oak tree I'd come across this morning, and the soft rumbling of voices beneath the dirt somehow drifted through the cracked wood into the atmosphere.
"What is it?" Tink asked, a look of impatience outlining her features. "We don't have all day, you know."
A soft groan escaped my lips, "I know," I said, letting my eyes scan the tree, "I'm just worried, that's all."
Tink let out a chime of annoyance, a strike of bells that willed me to cover my ears for a moment, and she began tugging my hair in the direction of the tree. I slapped a gentle hand at her in response, only relenting once her petite fingers had released my cascade of hair.
"Let's go," said Tink, and continued into her hole of the tree.
After a brusque moment of preparation from sheer nervousness, I entered the wooded door in the tree, only glancing around me for a moment before sliding the door back into place. I was beginning to connive a scheme to run away as my feet padded down the dirt stairs, but the echoes that metastasized into the Lost Boy's laughs drew me in further. My stomach churned amiably, and when the den came into view, I noticed them sitting around the kitchen table to my left.
They looked to be fine, rather elated for this early in the morning, though I didn't dare question it and draw attention to myself. I watched them, noticing how Grip and Slip tugged at a baguette that they both wanted, and Sawyer munching silently with Slightly on two Apples. And though I noted Wendy on the far end of the table, I didn't see Peter at all.
"Birdie!" A voice cheered and all went silent.
"Oh hey- it's Birdie!"
"Where ya' been at!"
"Come on eat, Birdie!"
Their voices bounced off of the cliffs in my mind and pulled me closer to the table, though I stopped a few feet in front of it with a bland look. I wasn't anywhere near as amiable as they were; in fact, I was rather intrepid about the whole ordeal and the voices that were not as salient to me as they should've been in the moment.
"Hi," I mumbled, realizing how unlike myself I must've looked and sounded.
They continued to throw words at me, but I gave them little notice besides a small smile and headed towards Peter's bearskin flap, which was taunting me as it swayed gently in the still air. Somehow, Peter's aura in itself seemed to tempt me, which was rather odd considering no one else noticed it like I had.
I pushed it aside, gazing around the room and letting the strong scent of pine needles drift into my nose. It was a comforting smell, one that just seemed like home for me, which was a feeling that I rarely ever get.
"Birdie," He said, and I met his eyes across the room.
Peter sat, a demure look resting against his sharpened features as he rested atop his bed. I gave him a small smile as I stood at the foot of it, shifting awkwardly on my heels. And vaguely, the small urge to turn and run began to scrape at my ankles, though I kicked it off with as much subtle brutality as I could.
"Hi," I replied, blowing out a breath of relief.
He ran a callused hand over the fur of his blanket, green eyes twitching to turn away from my own, "Where've you been at?"
And though his tone was casual, somehow his calm demeanor was off-putting, "Out, in the woods. Why?"
Peter sat up and raised an eyebrow, "Can you give me specifics? We were all worried about you. You know you can't just run off like that and not tell me where you are, that was really a stupid thing-"
"I don't need a lecture," I whispered, because the way he was talking almost sounded as if he were decrying me.
"Maybe you do," He snapped back, swinging an indolent leg over the bed. "Seeing as you think you can run off in the middle of the night."
"Peter," I frowned at him, "I'm not an idiot, and I know how to handle night time in Neverland. I've been here for a hell of a long time in case you've forgotten."
He stood up from the bed, rising a few inches higher then me though it was not as intimidating as he probably would've liked it to be. "I know, but maybe you've forgotten the three separate times you've been kidnapped while wandering around after dark."
I scoffed, my mind clanking from the sickening feeling of nostalgia that hit me, "Look, I was fine, I am fine, and I'm here. That's all you need to fucking know, and I didn't come back here for you to be angry with me."
Peter's casual look faltered into a frown, one that was so striking that it made me tilt the corners of my mouth down as well, "I'm not angry with you," He replied, crossing his arms over his broad chest, "I'm just disappointed that you didn't come back when you know you should've."
"Well, I wasn't exactly in my right mind last night."
Peter moved to stand only a foot in front of me with a raised eyebrow, "What happened with you and Sawyer? Do I need to feed him to the crocs?"
"No," A faint smile tugged at my lips, "You don't. We were just talking and he brought up some touchy subjects."
He nodded briefly before he pulled me into his chest, which I crashed into out of shock. The same superfluous sparks that shot through me just from our legs touching yesterday was bursting into flames in my stomach, though I didn't want to come off as strange to him, so I wrapped my arms around his torso in a snug grasp. He chuckled, his chest vibrating against my cheeks, "Don't ever do that again."
"I won't," I mumbled back, enjoying the feeling of our close proximity, and I shamed myself for acting like such a hormonal teenager. That is, if I can even be called a teenager after all these years.
He pulled away, stepping back and interlocking our eyes in firm stare, "Now that you're back, I want to tell you what happened with the map."
"Um," I replied, "Okay."
"I gave it to Tink to try and figure out if she could find anything else out about it, and she said that it's definitely Naira's." He said.
I shrugged, not really understanding why he was so serious or acting like it was a clandestine matter, when really we must've known it was hers all along. We knew everyone on the island besides her, and she always gave me an uncomfortable feeling anyways, "What's your point?" Though the fact that Nibs had been hanging out with a previous pirate was hitting hard.
"Birdie," he shook his head, "She's lying about everything she's said to us. She was here; she was never thrown to shore and her memory was not wiped clean. She knows where she is and she knows what she's doing. Tink thinks she's scheming something against us and using Nibs as a prop for it." He explained.
But Nibs was smart, and it drove me insane that I'd never figured Naira to be anything rather than just an orphan to the Indians. It was so unfortunate that their relationship must have to end now, considering Naira is working against everything we're doing.
"Wait," I whispered in sudden contemplation, "Do you think Tiger Lily is part of this too? She's always around with Naira."
Peter frowned, "I don't think so, she'd never do that to us."
But she could, and she might if she really had the urge to. And if Naira could coerce her to do so then who knows how much power the girl has, who even knows what's going on anymore. You can't trust anyone, and if no one had realized that before besides me, I'm sure they all would soon once Peter and I tell them.