Chapter Two
Disclaimer: I still don't own any of the characters etc.
Hope you enjoy it!
Jane drove home in a frenzy, she was actually quite surprised she made it home in one piece. As she turned the key to her front door, her thoughts were brought back to the glare that Maura directed at her earlier in the night. 'She still hates me.' Jane whimpered at the thought.
The detective fell onto her bed, not bothering to undress. She was too tired, both emotionally and physically, to move any further. She hoped that tonight, after many nights riddled with nightmares, she could quiet her thoughts long enough to fall asleep. She picked up the photo of Maura that she had placed on her nightstand a few days prior and held it close to her chest. "I love you Maura" she said into the darkness as sleep quickly overtook her.
Maura tossed and turned in bed. She could not help but ponder what Angela had said. "Jane has always been yours". Has she? Maura contemplated that question for hours on end. She thought about all the longing gazes, soft touches and loving words Jane had peppered her with over the years. One could theorize that Jane's actions would seem to indicate that Jane does in fact love her. However, Maura was not one to guess. 'Either way, I need to prove to her how sorry I am and show her I love her.' With that, Maura knew what her next course of action would be. The doctor set her alarm for the morning and drifted off into sleep.
Jane woke to the smell of coffee and the crackling of bacon coming from her kitchen. She rose slowly from her bed and made her way towards the kitchen.
"Ma, I'm sorry I left you like that last night, but it's a Saturday! How many times have I told you the spare key is only for emergen..." Jane stopped dead in her tracks as she took in the sight before her. Maura was standing in front of the stove wearing Jane's Red Sox jersey that she left at Maura's house a while ago and a pair of tight fitting jeans.
"Good morning Jane." The honey-blonde smiles sweetly as she turns to face Jane. "I'm sure you are curious as to why I am at your house at 7am on a Saturday and we will get to that, but let me just finish cooking first, please. There is coffee on the counter for you."
Jane silently collects the coffee cup and takes a sip. She opens her mouth but no words form. Instead, she decides to take a seat and watch Maura cook. And what a sight Maura is to behold as she effortlessly glides from the fridge back over to the stove. Jane can't help but stare at the doctor's delectable ass as she sashays around the kitchen.
Maura notices Jane's stare and smirks to herself. 'So far, so good' she thinks to herself. She retrieves two plates from the cupboard and starts dishing up breakfast.
Jane can only stare as she watched Maura walk towards her with the two plates in her hand. She looks intently at the plate that is placed in front of her.
"Chocolate Bacon! Maur, what...I...That's my favorite!" Jane stutters from both excitement and confusion. She turns to face the honey-blonde, a seriousness coming over her. "Maura, what's really going on here. This is all so unexpected...and...I...you have me a bit worried."
"I'm sorry Jane, I didn't mean to concern you. I realized that I have been a terrible friend. And...Ihavereallymissedyou" Maura blurted out, averting Jane's gaze.
"So you cooked me chocolate bacon?" Jane inquired.
"I'm sorry, this was a stupid idea." Maura turned to leave but was stopped by Jane's hand grasping hers and pulling her back to her seat.
"Maur, I..." Jane was struggling to think of the right words to say. The last thing she wanted to do was to say something wrong and scare Maura off. "Thank you. Really, it means a lot."
"Oh Jane, I am so sorry for how I have treated you, the horrible things I said. I didn't mean any of them. It was merely my hypothalamus secreting various hormones stimulating my pituitary gland and initiating a heavily regulated stress response pathway..."
Jane decided to interrupted Maura before she got herself too worked up. "I get it Maur, it was your reaction to a traumatic event."
"So sometimes you do listen when I speak!" Maura was impressed that Jane understood her 'scientific babble' as she would call it.
"Yes, walking Google." Jane teased, lightly pressing her elbow into Maura's side. "I always listen to you."
Maura was touched by how sincere Jane's sentiment was. "Well I truly am sorry Jane."
"Me too Maur. I never meant to hurt you." Tears streamed down both Jane and Maura's faces as Maura pulled Jane into a gentle cuddle. They stayed that way for a good while until Jane realized she still had a pressing question for Maura. Gently pulling away, she turned to face Maura. "Hey Maur, why are you wearing my Red Sox jersey?"
"Oh. I almost forgot." Maura stated as she reached into her purse pulling out an envelope. "We are going to the game this afternoon."
Jane's mouth fell open in disbelief as Maura handed her the tickets. "I...You...We're going to the Red Sox game?!" Jane practically screamed in excitement. "Oh my god Maur, these are awesome seats!" Jane then put her hands on either side of Maura's face. "I could kiss you!" The words had escaped her mouth before she had a chance to think about them. She instantly pulled her hands from Maura's face as her cheeks turned crimson red. The detective looked down at the floor to avoid Maura's gaze.
"I'm not stopping you." Maura teased. She knew that she wouldn't be able to tease Jane too much, especially now that they were finally on the right track again. However, she also knew that if she didn't act now she probably never would. She took Jane's right cheek in her hand as she leaned and gently placed a kiss on Jane's left cheek. She pulled herself away from Jane to allow her some time to process.
Jane sighed at the loss of contact and stared up at the lips that were previously planted lovingly on her cheek. Jane involuntarily licked her lips. A million thoughts were running through her head. The greatest of which was that Maura said she wouldn't stop her.
Jane decided it was time. She needed to take a leap of faith. So with newfound confidence she placed her hands on either side of Maura's face as she had before. This time, however, she was not going to back down. "I could kiss you." Jane stated, her voice raspy and seductive.
Maura visibly swallowed in the seconds that followed, finding herself excessively aroused by Jane's sexy deep voice. She so desperately wanted to bridge the gap between their lips, but she knew that Jane needed to take control of this situation. The last thing the doctor wanted was to make the Jane run.
Maura was both shocked and pleasantly surprised as Jane leant in closer. Maura gasped as Jane's lips almost reached her own. After taking a moment to breath, Jane softly pressed her lips against Maura's eliciting moans from them both. Jane pulled back slowly, leaving her hands on either side of Maura's face. She looked intently at the honey-blonde, waiting for her to open her eyes so she could try to gauge her reaction to their kiss. When Maura opened her eyes, Jane found them to be darkened with desire. Jane leant in and kissed Maura once more, this time with a fire and passion that neither woman had ever before experienced.
Jane pulled away only once her need for air was greater than her desire for Maura. "God your lips are so soft Maur. I could kiss you all day."
Maura moaned. "Mmm, I'm not stopping you." She teased once more, evoking a hearty laugh from Jane.
"As much as I would love to, I think we really need to discuss some things first." Jane stated matter-of-factly.
"Yes, of course. Well we have a little while before we need to start getting ready for the game. Why don't you go relax on the couch and I will clear the dishes and join you shortly."
Jane walked towards the couch, turning to take one last look at the beautiful woman before her. She wanted everything at once but she also wanted to take things slowly to make sure they didn't hurt each other anymore. The one thing she knew for sure was that she wanted Maura and she was going to do whatever it took to make that happen.
Maura cleared the dishes and returned to Jane. As much as she wanted to sit as close to Jane as possible, she knew no talking would occur if Jane was in her reach. And they really needed to talk in order to fix the damage done to their friendship and establish what they both wanted from the other. Maura decided to take a seat in the armchair opposite to where the brunette was sitting on the couch.
"So..." Jane started after an awkward silence filled the room. "That just happened."
"Yes, yes it did. I think we should talk about what it means, but first I think we need to discuss what has happened over the past few days."
"Yes. Maur I'm sorry, I am so sorry that I hurt you but I had to do it. I had to shoot him." Jane was fidgeting in her seat. She was petrified that Maura would reject her again.
"Jane, I know. Paddy himself said that he would have shot you. I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. I just..." The doctor stopped herself before she expressed the way she really felt. An anger started to bubble inside her and she wanted so desperately to control it. However, she really needed to express to Jane where the hurt really lied.
"Maur, I know we really need to discuss the underlying problems here but can you please promise me something first?" Jane looked up pleadingly at the Doctor. "Please?" she repeated.
"Of course Jane." Maura replied.
"Please can we promise each other that no matter how much our words hurt each other, we will work through it? God Maur, I cannot go another day without you. Please promise me?" Jane begged as unshed tears filled her eyes.
Maura was conflicted. Her anger was still bubbling but she wanted so desperately to reach out and embrace Jane. Maura simply took a deep breath and nodded her head. "I promise."
Jane breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank god." she mumbled to herself. "Ok Maur, what were you saying?"
"I understand now why you shot my father." Jane suppressed the urge to roll her eyes at Maura's choice of words. "However," Maura continued "I felt like you were again choosing the job over me."
Jane wanted so badly to interject at this point and tell Maura that she would never choose anyone or anything over Maura, not even the job she loved so much. Some of the men she had dated in the past had wanted her to give up her job and she had never even considered that as an option. But for Maura... God for Maura she would give up anything just to make her happy. She knew though that now was not the time nor the place to express that. She knew she needed to let Maura express herself freely.
Maura was starting to fidget now, playing with the ring on her finger as the anger started to rise again. "Jane, this isn't the first time I have felt this way. You constantly put yourself unnecessarily in harms way and..."
Jane could not listen patiently anymore. "Unnecessarily? Seriously Maura? I unnecessarily put myself in harms way?! How could you say that?" Jane screeched, rising off her seat. "It's my job Maura. I put myself in harms way to help people. God, how could you say that is unnecessary!" Jane's hands were flailing in the air as an intense fury filled her chest. She would never understand how Maura, her best friend, the woman she loved, could say such a thing.
Maura herself was angry but she could see how much her words had hurt her friend. She so desperately wanted to avoid a fight but she was struggling to control her own hurt as words started to spill out. "Your job should not come before you family and..." Maura stumbled for the correct words "and...your friends." she finished softly, burying her face in her hands as a tear escaped her eye.
Jane realized then that this was not about her putting herself in danger, but her not taking Maura into consideration before doing so. "Oh god Maur." Jane placed her hands over Maura's and pulled them down into her lap, desperately seeking to look into the doctor's eyes. "I know I have put myself in danger before. At the time I thought I was making the right decision, maybe I wasn't, I don't know. Hindsight is a wonderful thing though Maur. I know I never took into consideration how it would effect you."
Maura looked up at Jane, her tears now freely flowing. "It effects me Jane. It effects me."
"I know sweetie and I am so sorry that I haven't thought about how my actions effect you. But I will, I promise." Jane squeezed Maura's hands and looked earnestly into her eyes as she made the promise. She so desperately wanted Maura to believe her. "I would do anything for you Maura Dorthea Isles" Jane stated with a cheeky grin, knowing the doctor did not like hearing her middle name. "Even take up desk duty if that would truly make you happy." Jane said with sincerity.
"No Jane, you love you job, you are incredible at your job. I would never want or ask you to give up your work. I just wish you would be more careful. I wish you would talk things through with me more so I understand what you are thinking and more importantly why you make the decisions you do."
Jane sighed in relief at hearing the honey-blonde's words. "I can do that." She responded. "Is that all that was upsetting you Maur, or do you have more you want to say?" Jane winced as she awaited Maura's reply.
"No, that was it Jane." Maura stated softly. Both women took a deep breath. "Do you want to talk about what was upsetting you Jane?"
"Well I guess I sort of feel the same way as you Maur. I felt that you were choosing your father over me." Maura glanced over to Jane who looked truly defeated at this point.
Jane took in another deep breath as silence once again filled the room. Maura knew better than to try to fill the silence. She knew she had to wait patiently until Jane was ready to express herself. She was prepared to wait as long as required if it meant fixing their relationship.
"That really hurt Maur." Jane continued as she started to sob. "It felt like after years of friendship, after years of giving you... giving you love..." Jane whimpered through the streams of her tears. "after all we had done for each other, you chose this man you just met over me. A man who had committed unspeakable crimes... You chose him over me." She had so much more to say but words failed her as she broke down, the hurt becoming to overpowering to continue.
Maura silently rose from her seat and sat herself down directly beside Jane. She slowly placed an arm around Jane and pulled the detective into her embrace.
Every instinct in Jane was telling her to pull away from Maura, to run from the source of her pain. However, she recognized that the person who was the source of her pain was also the only one able to wash it all away. She needed the pain to stop. She needed to be okay. She needed Maura.
Maura was the first to break the silence. "I am so sorry Jane. Your feelings are entirely comprehensible. I did choose him. It was a mistake, one I will never make again." Maura placed one hand on each of Jane's cheeks and gently pulled her head around to face her. "I promise you Jane, I will never choose anything or anyone over you ever again." Maura declared, the regret in her voice not going unnoticed by the detective. Jane simply nodded and buried her head into Maura's shoulder.
Maura glanced at her watch. "We should really start getting ready for the game or else we will be late." She said gently.
"Let's not go. Let's just stay here and watch it on the T.V." Jane replied. As much as she wanted to go to the game, she was emotionally spent. More importantly, she knew Maura too would be emotionally exhausted and she wanted to spare her from having to suffer through a baseball game.
"I want to go Jane." Jane looked up at the doctor suspiciously, then down to her chest, waiting for hives to appear. "Seriously. I know you want to go and I just want to make you happy." Maura added sweetly.
"Well, only if you are sure?" Jane stated meekly, offering Maura one more chance to get out of going.
"I'm sure." Maura stated succinctly as she stood and headed towards to door. "Now let's go!"
"Okay, but Maura" Jane spoke as she brushed her thumb along Maura's stomach on her way out the door. "We will be continuing that kiss when we get home." The detective smirked as she heard a quiet moan escape the doctor's mouth.
To be continued...