The Lost Child Challenge
When Faith was fourteen, she was raped by her mother's boyfriend. After that, she left home on her own, pregnant with the rapist's child. When she was found by the Council, her first Watcher took the baby, assuring Faith that it would be taken care of... the Watcher then was killed by Kakistos before she could give Faith more information. Now, years later, the child has come back into Faith's life.
Requirements:
- Faith dealing with mixed feelings about the child: a mother's love and the memory of the rape.
- The child having a Faith-esque attitude problem
- The council having had some hand in the child's conception
- The child having an amazing destiny
- Faith wanting to save her daughter from her own mistakes
Chapter 12
Though Nell's eyes remained stubbornly closed, Xander knew perfectly well that she was wide awake and continued to speak quietly. When he had said his piece and seen that she had no intention of responding to his words, he sighed and moved away.
"You need to talk to your daughter." He told Faith the moment Giles paused in his explanation of the formalities that would be involved in the transfer of custody long enough to let him get a word in.
"Is something wrong?" She rose immediately, alarmed.
"She's upset." Xander said, softly enough so that Nell wouldn't hear him. "And I'd say that she's feeling pretty overwhelmed."
"I'm not surprised." Giles murmured sympathetically. "To be handed the power to destroy the world or to shield it forever from a significant threat, and at so young an age." He shook his head. "It would be a difficult thing for anybody to have to deal with, let alone a child..."
"Not just that." Xander met Faith's eyes, willing her to get what he was saying.
She got it.
Learning that her daughter had lived, that she was a mother, had filled her with joy but it have been frightening as well as amazing to have the child she had thought dead restored to her. Even now that she had adjusted to the news somewhat, the prospect of motherhood was a scary one, the idea that she might, despite her good intentions, wind up like her own mother or resent her daughter for the circumstances of her conception a terrifying one.
To a five year old child, brought up in luxurious isolation with every physical, intellectual and material need cared for, but neglected emotionally, prevented from forming longterm bonds with anybody save the guardian whose memory she hated, it would be infinitely more difficult to cope with.
"Nell?" Faith laid a gentle hand on her daughter's shoulder, wincing inwardly when she felt the child stiffen at her touch and pull away. "I think we need to talk."
"There is nothing I wish to talk to you about." Nell's tone was cool, her posture stiff as she turned towards her mother.
"Probably not, but there are some things I want… need to explain. I'm not good at this, you know? I haven't had any experience with the whole mom thing. My mother… let's just say she's not someone I'd go to for parenting tips, even if she was still around. Constance was probably the closest thing to a real mom I ever had and ever she…"
"She helped to steal me, didn't she?"
"Yeah." Even though she knew what had happened, Faith was having trouble coming to terms with the knowledge that the woman she had trusted had betrayed her.
"That's why Uncle… why he gave me her name as well as his mother's. He told me that she helped him rescue me when you didn't want a baby." She frowned, biting her lower lip. "That was a lie."
"I'm sorry."
"Why?" her daughter's blue eyes met hers for the first time since the beginning of their conversation. "You didn't want them to take me away. You didn't know, you thought I was dead."
"That doesn't stop me being sorry." Faith tried to verbalize her thoughts in such a way that the little girl could understand her. "I didn't want them to take you, never, but I'm sorry that they did. I'm sorry that I believed Constance and I'm sorry that I didn't make them let me see you. Most of all, I'm sorry that I wasn't here for so long."
"It wasn't your fault." Nell told her solemnly, thawing slightly.
"Thank you." Faith hesitated before broaching the subject of what was to happen when they landed. "Nell, honey, about Boston…"
Nell's expression became stony, her defenses reasserting themselves with a vengeance.
She had almost believed her.
Her guardian had been telling her the story of the Seven Hells, of her ancestress' death and of her destiny there for as long as she could remember and even as a toddler she had loved to hear the story and been proud to be so special.
She was older now, and wiser. Now she could see the truth.
The man she had adored and idolized from babyhood hadn't loved her, not truly. If he had loved her at all, he had loved her as Rachel Knight's heiress, as the champion who would save the world from the Seven Hells, never as Nell.
She had thought, hoped that her mother would be different but all she was interested in was closing the Seven Hells.
She wasn't going to make the same mistake again.
"It's alright." Nell was surprised by how calm her voice was. "I understand what you want me to do."
Boston
"I was expecting company." Buffy observed as the group reached the coordinates they had been given for the gateways. "Company of the slimy, scaly, bad guy variety."
"Perhaps we should be thankful for small mercies." Giles suggested, though he, like the others, remained alert.
After seven years of demon fighting, they all knew better than to let their guard down. Appearances could be deceptive.
The hairs on the back of Nell's neck stood on end and turning she could see spectre-like demons smile and bow their heads.
'We are here, little one.' A soft breeze caressed her cheek as the Kra'ma'ten whispered to her. 'You know what to do.'
"This is the place." Nell was sure of it. She pointed to a spot a few feet in front of her. "Right there."
"How does she…" A nudge from her sister cut Dawn off.
"That's right." Giles smiled encouragingly. Nell allowed him to take her hand in his and lead her over to the spot she had indicated. He knelt in front of her, producing a small plastic box containing sterile needles and swabs. "This is going to sting a little, I'm afraid." He warned.
"I'm not afraid. I know what to do." Nell set her jaw, holding out her right hand so Giles could clean her index finger with an alcohol swab before pricking it with a needle. She didn't see Faith wince as he did this. Fascinated, she watched a drop of blood bead on her finger, then she shook her hand experimentally, scattering tiny droplets around her.
It was strange.
She could see her mother, Giles and the others, even hear them if she strained her ears, could see the Kra'ma'ten ranged on the other side, smiling at her but the instant her blood hit the ground, it was as if a veil had fallen, separating her from them.
"We're between worlds." A kind voice explained, then a face she had seen only in portraits smiled down at her. "Hello, Nell. Do you know who I am?"
"Yes. You're my great-great-great…" Nell began, carefully counting out the greats.
Her ancestress laughed. "Perhaps we should leave it as Grandmother Rachel, dear child."
"Very well." Nell studied her companion quizzically. "I thought that you were dead… I mean, you don't look like a ghost." She explained hastily, not wanting to offend.
"I am not a ghost, Nell." Rachel smiled ruefully. "In truth, I do not know what I am."
"Have you always been here?"
"Since the night I fell in battle. I have been keeping watch over the gateways, waiting."
"For me."
"Yes."
"You want me to close the gateways, don't you?" Nell's tone was accusing.
"Yes, but ultimately what I want is irrelevant, what matters is what you want and I do not think that you know yet what you want to do."
"You don't know me!" Nell protested, stung. "How do you know that I haven't decided what I'm going to do?"
"Because, my dear, if you had, I would not still be here."
"Will you have to go away once I decide?"
"Yes. If you close the gateways, the work I began so long ago will be complete. Should you choose to open them…" Rachel shuddered. "I cannot remain to see what will happen."
"You want me to close the gateways, that's all you want." Nell said sullenly. "You're just like him… and her." She pointed at Faith.
"You are wrong about your mother, little one. She loves you deeply, she would never have brought you here if she did not think that it would be the only way that she could keep you, to make sure that you were safe."
"Why should I believe you? You left your baby, didn't you?"
"Yes, and I have missed her every moment since."
"Why did you keep fighting? Didn't you know that your baby would be all on her own if you died?"
"Not alone, she had a wonderful father who loved her very much." Rachel sighed. "Very few Slayers ever have children; it was not until Elizabeth was born that I truly understood why. Most of the billions who live on this planet do not know that they share their world with vampires, demons and monsters and, if they are fortunate, they will never have any reason to know. These people need to be protected and that task falls to she who is chosen as Slayer. While I lived, no other could be called – although that seems to have changed now." She smiled faintly. "I wanted nothing more than to stay with my family, to be a mother to Elizabeth, to love her and to watch her learn and grow, but it could not be about what I wanted. Thousands, perhaps more, could have died had I chosen to abandon my mission. I could not put myself first, anymore than you can now."
Behind her ancestress, Nell could see the Kra'ma'ten through the veil separating her from the real world, could see them smile, warm and encouraging. They wanted something from her too, but they had been honest about it, never tried to hide their motivations.
They would love her forever if she helped them.
"You are wrong about your mother." Rachel's voice cut into her musings. "You must believe that she loves you."
"How can you know?"
"I am a mother, my dear, I can see it on her face." Nell was unconvinced. Rachel's gaze fixed on Xander. "This one is wise beyond his years, he can see the truth."
The leather upholstery squeaked slightly as she burrowed into the seat, keeping her eyes tightly shut, hoping that even if he didn't believe that she had fallen asleep, he would at least leave her be.
Her wishes went unanswered, he did not move away. He spoke quietly, his words intended only for her ears and, though she would have liked to, she couldn't tune him out.
"You know, kiddo, I'm not a Slayer – obviously – or a Watcher. I'm not a vampire or a demon or a werewolf, I can't use magic like Willow can and I don't have a destiny the way Dawn had, the way you do. I'm just a regular guy and it was hard not to feel like the odd man out, to wonder where I fit in, what I brought to the group." He paused for a moment and Nell could sense from his tone that he was smiling. "But somebody very wise once told me that I did have a gift; I could see things… as hard as that may be to believe." He joked, pointing at his eyepatch. Nell didn't smile, didn't move a muscle. "Tough crowd. I know that you have some trouble trusting people, and I can't blame you for that but you should know that your mother loves you. I'm the guy who sees, and I have never seen her smile at anybody the way she does around you. I've known your mother almost as long as you've been alive, and I haven't seen her care about anybody as much as she does about you." His hand touched her shoulder briefly before he moved away.
Why should she believe him? Or Grandmother Rachel? Or her mother?
When she knew that the man she had loved and trusted for the five years of her life had lied to her, why should she believe the words of people she barely knew?
For all she knew, they were lying too.
Her mother's expression spoke of her worry, but was she worried for her daughter's safety, or just worried that she wouldn't close the gateways the way they all wanted her to?
The Kra'ma'ten, invisible to everybody but her, continued to smile, silently willing her to fling open the portals and promising their undying devotion.
Grandmother Rachel was silent, watching like the others, waiting to see what she would decide.
Nell's finger stung slightly and the air around her crackled with what felt like static electricity. This was what she had been chosen for, a plan laid out long before she was born. The gateways to the Seven Hells were hers to command. Only she could control what happened.
She knew what to do.
TBC.
Author's Note: That's all for now. I hope that the next (probably last) part of this story will be out a lot faster than this last part, and that the updates I have planned for other Buffy/Angel WIPs can come soon. In the meantime, please review.