News of the date spread rapidly. Phoenix received lascivious leers and knowing smiles from just about everyone he spoke to. Athena in particular was a bit of a terror, making innuendo laden jokes at every opportunity. Apollo, on the other hand, had trouble looking Phoenix in the eyes for at least a week.
None of them knew what had actually happened, but they were ready and willing to make all kinds of assumptions. It irritated Phoenix to no end, and his conviction increased with every little remark. It was proof that people didn't think critically about what they were hearing, striking against the wounds of his past that still chafed.
Phoenix knew what his next move would be. He laid it out carefully in his head and waited for the right opportunity.
The time came when his office was invited to the Judge's birthday party. He called Edgeworth the next day to make sure he wasn't planning to skip out, telling him only that they were going to take their plan to the next level. Edgeworth tried to press him, but Phoenix remained stubbornly cryptic.
It was early in the afternoon when Phoenix arrived with Athena and Apollo. They said their congratulations to the Judge, who was bellowing merrily in a sea of officers and politicians, and loitered around the reception hall.
When Edgeworth finally showed up, Phoenix greeted him casually. Edgeworth shot him a quick, suspicious glance, but he played along. During a lull in the party, Phoenix asked Edgeworth to join him for a walk. Edgeworth accepted, apprehension written all over his face. They walked out the door side by side and Phoenix slipped his arm around Edgeworth's. They adjusted their pace and left the building like that, heading towards a park just a few blocks down the road.
"What is this about?" Edgeworth asked, pulling awkwardly under Phoenix's arm.
"Shhh," Phoenix said. He turned his head just a little and glanced at Edgeworth under his lashes. "They're following us."
"Yes, I know that," Edgeworth said sharply. "Hence my question."
"Sorry, I just had to make sure we were out of Athena's hearing range."
"Can she really hear at such a range?" Edgeworth asked.
"She may get a handle on our emotions. I just wanna be cautious," Phoenix said, his eyes darting to the side.
"Again, I have to ask why we're doing this," Edgeworth said.
"Because I want them to see that we're a couple with their own eyes," Phoenix said, a crafty grin on his lips.
"And taking a walk will prove that?" Edgeworth asked.
"It will if we do it right," Phoenix said. He tightened his grip around Edgeworth's arm. Edgeworth blinked and gave a small nod.
When they approached the entrance to the park, Phoenix slowed their pace.
"Alright," Phoenix said out of the corner of his mouth. "Here's what we're gonna do. We walk like this, let them catch up a little bit. There's plenty of cover through here so I'm sure they'll try to get closer. Then we start talking all lovey dovey, alright?"
Edgeworth stared at him. "You…you expect me to…"
Phoenix sighed. "Look, just throw in a few pet names, try to project and it'll look great. Okay?"
Edgeworth grumbled, but held his position. Arm in arm, they started ambling down the path. In time they reached a long shrouded walkway dotted with benches and foliage.
"Oh honey, look at the trees," Phoenix said, pointing overhead. He made it sound so natural and effortless.
"Er, oh, they're nice," Edgeworth said. They really were, too. The leaves were just beginning their transformation into a thick shelter of vibrant oranges and yellows. Edgeworth wouldn't have minded stopping to take in the beauty of the flora, but Phoenix elbowed him and raised his eyebrows.
They kept walking and Edgeworth cleared his throat. "Ah, that is, they trees are looking lovely, dearheart."
Phoenix jolted them to a stop, staring slack-jawed at Edgeworth. "Dearheart? Really? Are you my grandmother?"
Edgeworth stammered and flushed. "Excuse me for finding the term endearing! I don't exactly have a lot of experience with these sorts of things," he blustered, and pulled away from Phoenix to cross his arms.
Phoenix just stared at him for a moment and then reached over and took Edgeworth's hand in his. He resumed his walk, dragging a stunned Edgeworth with him. "I guess it is cute when you say it," Phoenix murmured softly. Edgeworth blushed and quickened his pace to match.
"Would you guys shut up?" Athena hissed through her teeth, crouching under a tall bush. "Honestly, you boys sound like a herd of buffalo."
"No," Apollo said, "You're just a freak with super hearing."
Athena snorted. "Says the boy with the magic bracelet."
Simon turned around and shushed both of them.
"Okay, you're right," Athena whispered. "They'll murder us if they find out we're stalking them.
Apollo groaned. "I still can't believe I'm doing this."
Athena rolled her eyes. "We spy on people at work all the time."
"Yeah, but it's usually not my boss and his…whatever Edgeworth is," Apollo said, gesturing towards the path.
"That's Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth to you," Simon grumbled.
"And I believe the term you're looking for is 'lover'," Klavier added, his voice and gaze silky smooth.
"Ew," Apollo said, his face scrunching up. "Ew ew oh my god, don't you ever say that word to me again. Especially when you're talking about our superiors."
"What, lovers?" Klavier said with a brilliant grin.
Athena shushed them before Apollo could answer and pointed over their hiding spot. They were just close enough to overhear a short conversation between their targets.
Athena and Apollo snorted with quiet laughter. "Dearheart," Athena whispered. "Oh my gosh."
"I think it's romantic," Simon grumbled.
Athena closed her eyes and focused her aural skills. They were speaking quietly now, too soft for anyone else to hear. "Aww," Athena murmured. The pair started walking again and the group looked at each other.
"Should we move on?" Klavier asked, angled to spring into action.
"Just a moment," Athena said, eyes closed, holding her finger up. "That's weird," she said softly.
"What?" Apollo asked.
"It's just…their temperament sounds a little off, that's all," she said, tracing her thumb against her earlobe.
"Maybe it's just a fluke," Apollo said.
"I guess so," Athena said, her voice wavering.
They tailed their prey further down the canopied walkway, moving with stealth through the backdrop of abundant plant life that filled the park.
Apollo turned to Simon as they crept forward, speaking as soft as his voice would tolerate.
"Simon," Apollo said. Simon shot him a look of distaste. "Sorry, Prosecutor Blackquill," he corrected. Simon nodded his approval. "So, why are you going along with this plan?"
"What do you mean?" Simon replied.
"It's just, I would think that out of everyone you'd be the mostly likely to agree with me that this is a bad idea."
"And yet you're here," Simon pointed out.
"Well, yes. I couldn't stop everyone else from doing it, so I might as well be here in case something goes wrong," Apollo said.
Simon looked unimpressed.
"I feel that they deserve happiness," he said, pushing aside a branch. "They're our elders and it's our duty to aid them in any way we can."
"You can't seriously believe that," Apollo said, his voice rising in volume.
Athena stepped on his toes as a signal to shut his mouth, and instead he let out a sharp cry.
In the distance, Phoenix and Edgeworth turned towards them. They had stopped at a large, ancient-looking tree with twisting branches and a giant lopsided trunk. The whole group ducked as low as they could and waited for the heat to die down, but Phoenix and Edgeworth stayed facing their direction, talking quietly. They couldn't advance any further.
It was too far to hear what they were saying. "Hijo de puta," Athena cursed under her breath.
"Wow," Phoenix said, glancing over at the distant bushes. "They're really bad at this. I thought I'd trained them better than that."
"To be miscreants?" Edgeworth said, raising his eyebrow.
"Hey, we have to use what we can to gather intel. We don't have the luxury of a direct line to the police," Phoenix said.
"And when has that ever held you back," Edgeworth replied.
Phoenix sighed. "True enough." He looked up at the branches that hung low over their heads.
They stood together beneath the boughs of the tree, which housed a thick mane of fall leaves reaching like fire towards the sky. When Phoenix looked back at Edgeworth, he had a distinct glint in his eye. He moved closer, one little step at a time until they were face-to-face.
He took a deep, steadying breath. "Kiss me," he whispered.
Edgeworth didn't move. His mouth opened and his eyes widened, and his scarf suddenly felt tight around his neck. "W-what did you say?"
Phoenix breathed out again. "If you're willing," he said softly, "kiss me."
Right. For the plot. For their little farce.
Edgeworth bounced once on his heels, and then leaned over and kissed Phoenix on the cheek.
He pulled back, his face burning up, and Phoenix was smiling with mirth.
"Good," Phoenix said, "but I meant on the lips."
Edgeworth stared at him again for a good long while, thinking and debating and disbelieving.
After standing awkwardly in place with no response from Edgeworth, Phoenix laughed and cast his eyes down, toeing at the ground. "I only meant if you were comfortable with it. It's totally understandable if you aren't. In fact, let's just forget- mmph!"
Edgeworth launched at him while Phoenix was babbling and pressed their lips together sharply. They shifted and relaxed and the kiss softened, sweet and warm and bubbling over with happiness. They stayed like that, still as the air, in a dreamlike spell where they were joined together and everything was right with the world. Finally they separated, Phoenix letting out a soft little moan. Edgeworth covered his mouth, shocked at his own boldness.
Phoenix studied the buttons on Edgeworth's coat while he cooled down, tracing one with his index finger. "That was better," he said, still a touch breathless. "But I was thinking more like this."
In one fluid motion he thread his fingers through the back of Edgeworth's hair and crashed their lips together. This time it was hot and needy and when Phoenix moaned into his mouth, Edgeworth could feel it like a ripple resonating through his entire body to the tips of his fingers. He deepened the kiss and held on to Phoenix like an anchor.
They broke apart panting and shaking. Phoenix rested his forehead against Edgeworth's, his eyes shut tight.
"Who are you trying to convince," Edgeworth whispered, barely audible.
Phoenix didn't say anything, just kept leaning against him, resting his arms around Edgeworth's shoulders. After a small eternity, Phoenix pushed himself away and reached out for Edgeworth's hand without saying a word. Edgeworth fixed his glasses and took Phoenix's hand, staring at him with wonder as they began walking.
"Why did you have to do that," Apollo said, trying to rub his toes through his shoe.
"Because you can't keep your big mouth shut, Polly," Athena hissed at him. "Now hush."
"Can you even hear anything from here?" he asked.
Athena narrowed her eyes and tried to focus. "…no," she said.
"Then it doesn't matter, does it. I'll talk as much as I want."
"Gott im Himmel, would you two either fuck or get out of the kitchen," Klavier said.
"That doesn't sound right. And ew, seriously. Gross," Athena replied.
"That's my line," Apollo said in a harsh whisper.
Simon shushed them for the hundredth time and pointed at the situation they were supposed to be monitoring.
"Oh!" Athena exclaimed as Edgeworth gave Phoenix a peck on the cheek, his face red as a beet. "That could be the confirmation we're looking for."
They leaned forward on their toes, a small slip away from face-planting into shrubbery.
Then Edgeworth kissed Phoenix, and they all gasped. Athena put her hand over her heart, and Simon braced himself against the ground as they watched the passion unfold.
"We did it!" Athena said, barely able to keep from shouting. "I can't believe it! Chalk one up for the-"
Then Phoenix was grabbing Edgeworth and kissing the living daylights out of him.
"Hot tamale!" Athena said, her jaw falling open.
"There it is!" Klavier hissed, air guitaring uncontrollably.
Apollo's eyes bugged out. He tried to look away, but he couldn't.
Even Simon was smiling a small, weird smile.
The kiss lasted quite a while, and the group got so caught up in their own excitement that they almost didn't notice Phoenix and Edgeworth leaving.
"Hold on," Athena said, her expression sobering, signaling for them to quiet down. She stayed low to the ground and started making her way toward the targets.
"Is that necessary?" Apollo asked.
Athena shushed him one last time and waved for him to follow. His brow was heavy but he went along with her.
They moved until they were in close range and Athena held out her arm to stop him.
"Focus," she whispered.
"What?" Apollo asked, but he didn't need any clarification because a moment later his bracelet tightened around his wrist. He couldn't discern exactly what was causing it, but the feeling was unmistakable. Athena leveled him with a serious look, which he returned in kind. They waited until Phoenix and Edgeworth had turned a corner and jogged back to the others.
"So, mission accomplished?" Klavier said with a grin when they approached.
Athena and Apollo looked at each other and shook their heads.
Klavier's grin fell. "No?"
"What did you observe?" Simon asked.
"I'm not sure what's happening," Athena said, "but something's really wrong."
"I got an intense reading off of them just now," Apollo added, rubbing his wrist.
"Are you sure that's not just from the," Klavier waved to the large tree in the path, "public shenanigans?"
Athena and Apollo shook their heads again.
"It was like…" Athena started, trying to find the right words. "Phoenix was completely unreadable. I got nothing off him, which is downright bizarre. Even if his heart wasn't in it I should have gotten something. But then Prosecutor Edgeworth's heart was screaming like he was in pain. I've never seen a reaction so polar opposite." She shrugged. "I'm at a loss."
"And you've no idea what would cause such a thing?" Klavier asked.
Athena shook her head. "I'd have to get a detailed reading with Widget, and they'd have to be complicit for that to work. I don't think that's gonna happen." She turned to Apollo. "How about you?"
"There wasn't enough time to perceive anything," Apollo said, still holding his arm. "But whatever it is, the reaction I got was strong. One of them isn't being entirely honest." Apollo rubbed his head. "Or both of them," he said quietly.
"What is it?" Athena asked, taking a step towards him.
"I think we need to do some more investigating," Apollo said, and started leading them back towards the front entrance.
By the time they got to the banquet room, Phoenix and Edgeworth were already there. They were both standing by the refreshments but they were staring in opposite directions and they definitely weren't holding hands anymore. They looked as though they'd just been through a heavy windstorm, faces flushed and hair disheveled.
Athena rushed ahead. "Hey Mr. Wright," she said, bouncing over to him. "How was your walk?" She got as close as she could without actually being inside of him.
"Uhm," he said, taking a few steps backwards. "It was good. Nice, good. Trees. The trees were…trees."
"Uh huh," she said, casually picking a piece of cheese from the cheese platter.
"I saw you come in just now. Where were you?" Phoenix said, crossing his arms.
"Mm." She ate the whole slice. "We stopped by that little café across the street for lunch."
"And you're still hungry?" he asked, eyeing her. "Must not have been a very good lunch."
"Urp." She hesitated. "Well, I knew I'd be snacking later so I just got something small."
"Huh." Phoenix narrowed his eyes.
Apollo walked around them to where Edgeworth was pretending he wasn't part of the conversation. "Did you enjoy your walk, Prosecutor Edgeworth?"
"What? Walk? Oh, yes, it was lovely. The foliage is magnificent right now. Couldn't have been better." He was speaking slower than normal and his eyes weren't quite focused on anything.
"Oh, that's nice," Apollo said. "Well I'm glad it was…nice." He cringed, but Edgeworth didn't seem to notice.
Edgeworth hummed the barest acknowledgement that he'd heard anything as he stared off into the corner of the ceiling.
"Alright, it was nice talking to you," Apollo said, giving a feeble wave. He turned around and clutched at his arm, and signaled to Athena and the others. They went to the opposite corner of the crowded room, and tried to look as inconspicuous about it as they could. When they had separated themselves from the rest of the horde, Athena and Apollo turned to each other.
"So," Apollo said. "You think?"
"I think so," Athena said. They looked as if they were having an intense telepathic conversation. Klavier turned to Simon and they both shrugged.
Finally, Apollo scrubbed his hand over his face.
"Goddamnit," Athena spat out.
"What?" Klavier asked. "What is happening, please? For those of us who don't possess magic powers."
Athena and Apollo shared another look.
"I don't think we should talk about it here," Athena said, glancing back at Phoenix, who was still standing right next to Edgeworth and not talking to him.
Klavier crossed his arms. "You know, as investigative partners you two leave a lot to be desired."
"This is why I work alone," Simon added.
"If by 'work alone' you mean you make your detectives do all the work for you," Athena shot back.
"Yes, that's precisely what I mean," Simon said coolly.
"You rang?" a muffled voice piped up right behind them.
They all flinched. Apollo yelped and almost jumped into Athena's arms.
For all their secrecy and vigilance, Ema had somehow snuck up next to them with a mouth full of Snackoos.
"What's the situation," she said when she managed to swallow down her snacks.
"Jesus Christ," Apollo said, his hand on his chest.
"New developments," Athena replied.
"Oh, with the hot dads?" Ema said, jerking her head in the direction of the refreshments.
"I thought we weren't calling it that," Apollo said with a groan.
"Calling what what?" Ema asked. "Oh, yeah, the mission." She rubbed her hands together. "So what happened."
"They kissed," Athena answered. "We saw them in the park."
Ema's jaw dropped open, a few stray crumbs falling to the floor. "They kissed? Like, with their mouths?"
Apollo raised an eyebrow. "Y-yes?"
"How did it look?" Ema asked eagerly.
"Uh, what?" Athena said.
"Like, did it look like Mr. Edgeworth was a good kisser?" Ema asked. "I uh, I just need to know for scientific reasons."
"I think so? I dunno, my brain kinda blanked for a while," Athena answered.
"You don't have to humor her!" Apollo barked. "Anyways, there's more to it than that. The mission may be compromised."
Ema gasped. "What makes you say that?"
Apollo glanced around the room. "We shouldn't talk here. Trust me, I have my reasons. I'll text Trucy and we can decide on a day to meet." He looked back at where Phoenix and Edgeworth were now talking but standing unusually far apart, and narrowed his eyes. "I can't believe them."
Athena sighed and the rest of them followed Apollo's gaze, trying to understand why he was so worked up.
A couple days later, they were all sitting once again in the offices of the Wright Anything Agency, silently occupying the couches and waiting for someone to begin.
Finally Trucy couldn't take it anymore. "What's going on, Apollo?" she said, her eyes nervous.
Apollo glanced at Athena, and she nodded.
"We have a problem," Apollo said. "I think we're being duped."
"Duped?" Trucy asked. "By who?"
Apollo sighed. "Trucy…" he bit his lip and took a long pause. "I think your father knows about Operation Happiness."
Trucy gasped. "How?! Did he say something?"
"Well, no," Apollo said, scratching his head. "But, to be honest, it's not like there haven't been huge clues. It wasn't the most covert plan in the world."
Trucy pouted, looking down at her hands. "Yeah, I guess not."
Athena chimed in next. "We saw them together last week and they were exhibiting some really strange behavior."
Apollo nodded. "After they kissed, I could sense that-"
"They what?!" Trucy said, jumping to her feet. "You saw them kiss?!"
"Definitely," Athena said.
"In…in front of other people?" Trucy asked in breathless wonder.
"Uh, no," Apollo said. "They went off on their own and we were kinda spying on them."
Trucy gasped again. "What if they'd seen you?" she said.
"Look, it doesn't matter now," Athena said, glancing around. "The thing is, I think they're trying to pull one over on us. I'm pretty sure they knew we were there. That's why they kissed in a public place; that's why their emotional readings were all over the place. They're trying to deceive us."
"What makes you so sure?" Trucy asked, biting her thumbnail.
"She could hear it in their hearts," Apollo answered. "And I could feel it." Apollo held out his wrist. "I know they were lying about something big."
"But why?" Klavier asked. "Why would they even bother doing something that?"
"Maybe they don't really have feelings for each other?" Apollo offered.
"No!" Trucy exclaimed. "They do. I know they do. I may still be young, but I…I know."
Athena sighed. "It's just so weird. I mean, why would they lie about being together?"
Trucy sat back against the couch. "Daddy…" she said in a small voice.
"What is it?" Apollo asked.
"He's trying to pull a prank," she said, tapping her fingers together.
"A…prank?" Apollo said.
"That doesn't sound like any prank I've ever heard of," Klavier added.
"Yeah, well," Trucy said, "my dad's got a pretty weird sense of humor."
"But even if that's true, why is Prosecutor Edgeworth going along with it?" Athena asked.
"Early midlife crisis?" Apollo offered. Ema threw a cracker at his head. "Uh, maybe not." He huffed, running his hand through his hair. "Maybe they've just lost their goddamn minds."
Everyone had slumped in their seats. Trucy's lip was trembling. Apollo looked around the room and narrowed his eyes.
"How dare they," Apollo said softly. "We care about them. They're supposed to be champions of truth and justice. They could have just confronted us, but instead they're playing jokes like a couple of teenagers. No offense, Trucy."
Trucy nodded.
"It's regrettable," Simon said, and all eyes turned to him. "I thought they were more upstanding than that." He clutched his hand to his chest. "The blade of betrayal cuts deeper than any other."
"So what're we gonna do now?" Trucy said, hugging herself, eyes downcast.
Apollo studied her and his hands gripped the couch hard.
"We push them," he said firmly.
"Isn't that what we've been doing?" Klavier asked.
"No, not like that. If they're going to play games, we'll have to play too. We've gotta make them so uncomfortable that they want to tell us the truth." There was a sudden fervor behind his eyes.
"That's right!" Athena said, standing up. "We've gotta make them see how wrong it is to treat us like this!"
"But what if they really are together? It could ruin the whole mission!" Trucy said. "If there even is one anymore," she added under her breath.
"We're just gonna put them in situations normal couples wouldn't have any problem with. If it makes them uncomfortable, then we'll know for sure they're trying to trick us."
Klavier shook his head. "All this secrecy, it's disheartening."
Apollo pushed his sleeves back. "We have to fight fire with fire. How do you catch a phoenix? Fire."
"That doesn't make sense. Also, he's not a literal phoenix," Trucy said.
Apollo clenched his fist in the air. "Let's start planning!"
Author's notes:
Hi! I was asked about my update schedule, so here's how it goes: I try to update once a week, usually around the weekend. There should be 13 chapters in total. Near the end, depending on how editing goes, I may update more frequently. No guarantees, but we'll see!