Chapter 6:
Hogan sat at the table in the common area of barracks two holding Gracie while feeding her a bottle. He smiled and gently rocked her side to side, singing softly to her every so often. LeBeau had made a small pillow which was now on the inside of the colonel's shirt, making him seem to have gain a little more weight.
Kinch was down in the tunnels checking to see if any new messages had come in, while Newkirk, Carter, and LeBeau were all outside with Olsen, Baker, and the others playing a game of basketball.
Hogan looked down at Gracie, his smile growing wider.
"You sure get awful hungry, don't you." He cooed.
The baby made a few little noises as she continued drinking her bottle. The American softly smirked and continued rocking her gently, holding her close to his side.
The fake bunk soon went up, and Kinch emerged from underneath the ground. Once inside the barracks, the radioman banged the hidden mechanism and closed the tunnel entrance. He then made his way over to Hogan and sat down beside him.
"How's it going there, Papa?" Kinch teased.
Hogan silently chuckled.
"As well as it can get." He replied. His facial expression became more serious. "Anything from London?"
"They've found a couple that looks promising, but they want to make a further search on them to make sure they're suitable to raise a child. I told them that it was important for Papa Bear to know that Gracie would be left with two parents that will love her and treat her well."
Hogan gave a small smile.
"Well, thank you, Kinch. I would hate to know something awful happened to this little girl here," Hogan said, turning back to facing Gracie.
"Seen Klink yet?"
"No...but I'll sure enjoy the look on his face when he sees me."
"You're sure enjoying this plan of yours."
"A plan that'll make Klink slowly go crazy? I'm getting a thrill out of it."
Kinch smirked and was about to respond, when the door to the barracks opened. In came Newkirk, LeBeau, Carter, Olsen, Baker, and the rest of the prisoners. The two corporals and Carter were laughing about something in particular.
"And so I say to the girl, 'I thought you said a 'baguette'; not a 'beret'!" LeBeau cried.
He, Carter, and Newkirk all doubled over laughing. They held their middles to keep themselves from collapsing to the ground.
"Oh, Louis; yah gotta tell Kinch that story later. He'll have a blast with it, mate!" The Englishman chuckled.
"And Colonel Hogan, too," Carter added.
"What can I say; I'm a comedic genius," the French corporal said, with pride.
The three men turned to face Hogan and Kinch and smiled at both of them. The trio grabbed a spot at the table, sat down next to their friends, and the five men began to converse with one another.
"Seen Klink yet, Colonel?" LeBeau asked.
"No, but he sure can't wait to see the look on Klink's face when he does see him." Kinch replied, smiling.
"Boy, Klink's gonna have a cow and a sheep and a goat and a pig and the whole barn." Carter commented.
"I think the saying's 'gonna have a cow', Andrew."
"Oh, I know; I just added all of that other stuff because it'll be more than just a cow."
Hogan smirked, when Gracie started fussing a little. He looked down and put the baby gently against his shoulder.
"Oh, are you getting fussy there? Huh?" He cooed.
Gracie stopped crying when Hogan started patting and rubbing her back gently. He smiled at her and began swaying back and forth.
"Hey Colonel," the young sergeant started. "Just a curious question, but what do you think you'll name your children when you have 'em?"
Hogan thought a good while about that. He had a few ideas in mind, but was not completely satisfied with them.
"Well...I'm not set on them yet, but ideally I'd like two boys and two girls: Peter, Molly, Tod, and Janey," he answered, smiling wide as he thought of his future kids. There was nothing more he wanted than to be a father after the war. Teach them music, take them to soccer and band practice, hugging and kissing them, telling them lame jokes while they groaned 'Dad,' it was everything and more he could want in his life.
"They'll be lucky to have you for a father, Colonel," Kinch said sincerely.
"Newkirk, you think you'll have children when the war's over?" Carter asked, turning to his best friend.
"Blimey, Andrew...I couldn't tell yah. I gotta lot things I wanna do after the war. Travel, date a few pretty birds, make a lot of money and go back to me stand up...so much on the list before that." Newkirk said.
"What are you gonna do with all of the money, Pierre?" LeBeau asked.
"What the bloody hell you think I'm gonna take the pretty birds out to eat with," the English corporal remarked.
Hogan smirked and shook his head. He looked at all of them and was about to speak, when the barracks door opened, and Schultz made his way inside
"Colonel Hogan, Kommandant Klink wants to see you in his office at once," the fluffy guard reported.
The Senior POW sighed and slowly got to his feet.
"What does Old Colonel Klink want now, Schultz?" He asked.
Schultz was staring at the colonel's middle and gulped. He was beginning to gain weight.
"I, I, I, I, I don't know what the Kommandant wants," he quivered.
Hogan looked down at his belly, then back up and glared at Schultz.
"Judging me by my weight gain, Schultz?" He remarked, as if he were about to go off.
"No, Colonel Hogan, I just I, I, I," LeBeau cut him off.
"Schultzie, how can you be so rude?"
"It's not Colonel Hogan's fault for having a baby." Carter added.
"Poor man's been having back pain all morning," Newkirk said.
The Luftwaffe guard did not answer. He continued to just stand there with his mouth slightly ajar.
"Hey, Schultz," Hogan started. The man in calling shook his head of all the cobwebs and returned his attention to the colonel. "What do you think of the name 'George' if it's a boy?"
Schultz closed his eyes and tilted his head slightly backwards.
"I see nothing...noooooottttthhhhhing!" He bellowed and bolted out the door, making it close with a loud 'slam'.
Hogan turned to his men, all four of them trying to hold back from laughing. The commanding officer gave them all a friendly smile.
"Boy, did you see the look on Schultz's face when he saw the Gov'nor?" Newkirk smirked.
"Oh, if only I could see Klink's face when he sees mon Colonel." LeBeau chuckled.
"Klink might just drop dead," Kinch said.
Hogan chuckled and nodded.
"Oh, it'll be something entertaining for you guys to listen in on," He turned his attention to Newkirk. "Can you take Gracie while I go see what it is our old Colonel Klink wants?"
"Sure thing, Sir," the corporal answered.
The American gently handed Newkirk the baby. He gently rubbed her little head before heading towards the door, when Gracie started to cry. Hogan turned around sharp on his shoe and looked over in Newkirk's direction.
"Oh, you're alright. I'm gonna come right back after I say 'hi' to Grandpa Klink," he said, with a grin. Gracie seemed to understand what he was saying and stopped crying. He gave her a wink, waved to her, then closed the door behind him.
"Grandpa Klink." LeBeau snickered.
"I can't imagine Klink being anyone's grandpa," Kinch said.
"He's too scared to even get married. How is he going to be someone's le grandpère?"
"C'mon, mates; this will be one conversation we don't wanna miss," Newkirk said, putting Gracie against his shoulder.
The four of them rose to their feet, hurried to Hogan's quarters, and closed the door behind them.
Schultz charged into Klink's office, finding his commanding officer with his nose buried in paperwork.
"Herr Kommandant! Kommandant Klink!" He wailed.
Klink shot his head up and immediately looked back down. He seemed more irritated than concerned with his sergeant's blubbering.
"Schultz, what's the matter with you? Can't you see I'm up to my head in paperwork?" He remarked, gesturing to his cluttered desk.
"It's Colonel Hogan, Herr Kommandant." Schultz quivered.
Without warning, the colonel jumped out of his seat and quickly made his way to his senior guard.
"Schultz, what's the matter with him? What happened? Didn't I tell you to get rid of all dangerous equipment with his current medical condition?!"
"Herr Kommandant, he's..." Before Schultz could finish, Hogan walked inside the office, giving Klink a sloppy salute.
"Wanted to see me, Kommandant?" He asked.
Klink saw his Senior POW and thought his heart would stop beating.
"Donnerwetter," Klink gasped. He leaned back against his desk and put his hand over his chest. He looked out the window, as if it were helping him breathe. Hogan was beginning to show the symptoms of his condition. He prayed Hochstetter would not come barging in at that moment. Or his heart really would stop beating.
Hogan glared at both him and Schultz.
"Well, I come here to see what you want, and this is how you react?! How are you gonna react when I'm as big as the Russian Front?!" He commented back, feigning extreme offense.
Klink collected himself and tried to calm down to the best of his ability. He was in horror and used all his will power to not start hyperventilating. It would not be long before the prisoners started asking him questions. Before Burkhalter started asking him questions. Questions he hoped that would not come up for a long while yet. He swallowed a knot in his throat and began to speak.
"Hogan, I wanted to make sure that you weren't injured in any shape or form earlier today from that soccer game your men were having."
"Aw Kommandant, what's a little soccer gonna hurt?"
"A lot will hurt had you'd..." the German colonel caught himself before getting too carried away. "I mean how are you feeling recently? Any sickness, pain I should be aware of?"
The American let out a heavy sigh.
"My back hurts a little, but it's probably because of the pillow I sleep on at night...or plank of wood should I say," he answered, putting his hand on his lower back.
"Hogan, you will not complain about your sleeping arrangements. You're lucky you and your men have a bed at all. Some of my colleagues in other stalags make their prisoners sleep on the ground at night."
"There is another thing that's been a concern to me. I've had a very strange craving for raspberries recently. Juice, candy, the fruit itself, pies...you wouldn't happen to have anymore here in camp, would you?"
"Hogan, you don't even like raspberries."
"I know...I can't stand them. But I can't eat anything else nowadays. I don't know what it might be, though."
Klink shuddered and slowly collapsed into his office chair.
"I think I know what it might be," he mumbled to himself. He felt the room was starting to spin. He was woozy and lightheaded, knowing that if he tried to stand up he would collapse to the ground in a heap.
"What did you say about me, Kommandant?" Hogan asked, angry.
"Nothing, nothing, I think you're right about the pillows, Hogan! Excellent point about the pillows you sleep on. Everyone should have a nice place to sleep at night."
"You mean you will let me buy a new mattress, Herr Kommandant?" Schultz asked, his eyes twinkling like stars. He got a sharp glare back from his commander.
"Quiet," he ordered, with a growl.
Hogan's lip quivered and thought of the saddest thing possible to bring tears to his eyes. He needed to convince Klink, and he needed to convince him good.
"You're lying to me!" He cried, beginning to break down and sob.
"Great," Klink moaned. "Just what I needed: a Senior POW Officer with severe mood swings."
"Oh, please don't cry, Colonel Hogan. Please don't be sad. The Kommandant was just joking is all," Schultz said, handing the American his pocket handkerchief. He took it gratefully and began to wipe his eyes.
"It's just so hard...none of you understand what I'm going through right now." He wept.
"Well, look on the bright side," Klink said, clapping his hands together.
Hogan looked up at him and sniffled.
"What?" He asked, meek.
The kommandant frowned again and swallowed a knot forming in his throat.
"I'll let you know as soon as I find one." He whimpered, his shoulders drooping further and further to the ground.
Hogan put his hand back on his back and grimaced as he tried stretching a bit.
"Boy, my back is killing me...think I was having twins or something," he said.
Klink stumbled and grabbed hold of his desk firmly. He knew if one more thing regarding Hogan and his unborn babies came up, he would for sure pass out on his office floor. He put his other hand to his head and closed his eyes in attempts to stopping the room spin around him. It made Hogan furrow his eyebrows together and look at his German counterpart full of concern.
"You alright, Kommandant?" He asked. "You're starting to look a little pale."
"I think I'm gonna faint." Klink quivered.
Schultz quickly grabbed a chair and helped his commanding officer sit down in it. The Senior POW walked over to his side and put a hand on his shoulder. Schultz leaned over as much as he could and held up three fingers in front of Klink.
"How many fingers am I holding, Herr Kommandant?" He asked.
Klink snapped his head to Schultz, his hand still placed on his head.
"Schultz, you dunderhead, I'm light headed; not having a stroke!" He spat.
"Maybe we should notify General Burkhalter that Colonel Klink isn't feeling well," Hogan suggested.
"No!" Klink exclaimed, shooting straight out of the chair. He snapped himself in Hogan's direction and pleadingly grabbed onto his shoulders. "Don't call General Burkhalter, Colonel Hogan, please don't call General Burkhalter. I beg of you."
"Why wouldn't you want your commanding officer to know you weren't feeling well?" Hogan replied, pretending to be confused.
"That's none of your business!"
"Well, maybe just letting him know that you're all right will..." the American was cut off by Klink, when his hand leaped in front of the phone Hogan was reaching for.
"Touch this phone, and I'll throw you and your twins into the cooler until they're born!"
"Kommandant, that hurts!"
"He's right, you know, Herr Kommandant," Schultz softly said.
"Would you stay out of this?!" Klink snapped back.
"I see you two are in the middle of something," Hogan said. "I better go."
"Hogan, you'll stay here until I dismiss you, and that's an order!"
Hogan stood quietly and patiently, waiting for Klink to say something. The kommandant finally sighed.
"Fine, you can leave. Diiiiissssmiiissed!"
Hogan gave a sloppy salute and walked out as Klink bent over the office door to talk to Hilda.
"Fraulein Hilda, make sure no one is to disturb me," he ordered. He slammed the door and started pacing back and forth across the room restlessly.
"Schultz, I'm a dead man," Klink whimpered. "I'll be lucky if General Burkhalter sends me to the Russian Front if he finds out about this."
"What should we do, Herr Kommandant?" Schultz asked.
"Tell the prisoners perhaps? At least they would keep quiet considering their will to protect Colonel Hogan at any given moment."
"What about General Burkhalter and Major Hochstetter? Do we tell them, too?"
Klink shuddered at the mention of those names. Those awful, terrifying names.
"General Burkhalter's gonna kill me...Major Hochstetter will give General Burkhalter the order to kill me." He replied.
"You could beg for mercy?"
"What kind of colonel begs for mercy?!"
Schultz opened his mouth to speak, when Klink cut him to the chase.
"Don't answer that."