"Let me in! Get out of my way, I have every right to see him!" Matthew sighed as the next morning he heard Alfred yelling at the staff. If the whole hospital hadn't been awake yet, they were now. From the window he could see security guards rush in and grab Alfred, restraining him, and dragging him away. "No, let me go, I have to see him! This is against my rights! I have the right to see my brother if he's in the fucking hospital!"
Matthew could still hear his yelling all the way down the hall and shook his head. Maybe his brother still did care. But he was also still an idiot, getting kicked out of the hospital. He felt bad for the staff, knowing Alfred would find another way to get through. Maybe he should just tell them to only let Al in. Well, too late now, maybe later.
A little while later, breakfast was brought to him. A new nurse placed the tray on the table and maneuvered it so it was in front of him. He quietly thanked her even though he had no intentions of eating. He looked at the small breakfast and only reached for the water. He pushed the cart away, wrinkling his nose in disgust at the hospital food. Some one was probably going to inquire about him not eating later, but he didn't care right now.
And sure enough, when he was halfway through the water, the nurse walked back in. She eyes his untouched food. "I'm not hungry," he told her quietly.
She looked sympathetic instead of frustrated like his family was. "I know you don't want to eat, but you really should. It will help you get better faster and frankly, it's unhealthy not to."
"I-"
She held up her hand and Matthew stopped. "I've heard every excuse in the book. I've heard witty comebacks, seen tears, anger, and regret fill kids' eyes. But that doesn't make a difference in the outcome. You may be stubborn now, but soon you'll realize what you're doing is bad for you," she started unhooking to fluid bag attached to his IV and replaced it with a new one, "Sure, being skinny is healthy, but there's such a thing as too skinny. When your ribs stick out and you can't pinch even an inch of fat, that's making you sick. You won't realize it yet, but everything that we do for you will only help," she turned to him with a warm smile, "I'll try to help you, Matthew."
She picked up the tray of food and started walking out, but Matthew stopped her. "Wait- how... how do you know?"
She smiled a bit sadly, "Long years of working here... And I went through it myself." She then took her leave without another word.
Matthew sat stunned. Surely what she said wasn't true. She was just guilt tripping him. But the way she said it, that look in her eyes, it made him believe her. If only a little.
Sometime during the middle of the day, per his request, the staff let Alfred back into the PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit) where Matthew was being imprisoned. He couldn't see Alfred walking down the hall, but he could just tell that he was walking like he was 'all that'. He already regretted this decision and he hadn't even made it into the room.
The door was open so he sauntered in, big grin on his face, and bag in hand. "Thanks for letting me in, little bro."
"Sure," Matthew said, sitting up more, "So are you going to yell at me or what?"
Alfred shook his head and set the bag on the floor, "No, I just wanted to see how you're doing."
"I'm fine... my hand hurts a little," he admitted and showed Alfred his fingers that were covered in blisters from frostbite.
"Holy crap," Alfred said loudly and sat on the bed. Matthew moved his body over so there would be room for him.
"I'll be fine," he said and Alfred hugged him tightly, almost making him lose his breath.
"You always say that," Alfred said sadly and ran his fingers through Matthew's hair. Matthew stayed silent, remembering when Al held him like this when they were younger. "Will you come home after they let you leave?"
"Yea," he murmured. Not like he had anywhere else he could go.
"Good," he said, "Oh and I have this." He reached down and pulled something out of his bag. It was Kumajino, all stitched back together.
"How..?" he stared at the polar bear that looked almost perfect again and took it, hugging it so tight the new seams could have burst.
"Dad sewed it back up because he knows how much he means to you," he explained then paused for a few seconds, "Why did you hurt him?"
"Um, I was angry and I just... I don't know," he shrugged and absently fixed the fur around Kuma's eyes. 'I'm sorry' he thought to the bear and it gave him a look of sadness in response.
"Never thought I'd see the day when Mattie actually hurt something, since you could never hurt a fly," Alfred said. He just nodded, staring at Kuma's black, beady eyes. Alfred dug something else out of the bag, "I brought these, too. Keep you occupied." He held up a DS and handed it to him, having another one for himself.
"Oh, thanks," he said, grateful for something to do. He should have let his brother in earlier.
"Mario Kart?" he suggested and Matthew nodded, inserting the game.
They played for over an hour, Al yelling profanities once in a while and boasting when he won a race. Matthew played more quietly, winning most of the rounds. Alfred was very entertaining when it came to video games, to say the least. Maybe being a little too loud in a hospital, but other than that, Matthew was enjoying spending some time with his brother.
He had to force Al to leave when visiting hours were over. He didn't want him to go but at the same time he was exhausted from his brother's energy. Plus Al had forced him to eat some dinner, so he just hoped Al wouldn't be there for breakfast as well.
The doctor kept him two nights, and what Matthew didn't know at first was that he could have left after the first night. If only he'd eaten. The doctor didn't tell him that he was keeping tabs on how much, or if at all, Matthew ate at each meal. Unknowingly, Matthew failed the test. He got angry again, yelling at the doctor.
"What kind of doctor are you anyway?! A sucky one, that's what you are!" he yelled, "I can't believe you think you know what's best for me! You don't even know me! I've barely eaten in months, and what I ate yesterday is what I usually eat in half a week!" He clamped his mouth shut as private information spilled out. Crap.
The doctor didn't seem surprised at Matthew's outburst or confession. He spoke calm and collected, not seeming the least bit frazzled. "We're transferring you over to the psychiatric hospital."
"But... I'm not crazy!" Matthew said and burst into tears. All he knew about mental hospitals was from movies Alfred made him watch. Straight jackets, padded rooms, scary nurses wielding syringes... but something told him that mental hospitals weren't like that at all.
"No, you're not," the doctor agreed with him, "I'm sending you for other reasons. Now, just so you know, they can legally hold you for 72 hours for evaluation and then after that they will decide if you should stay or get after-care."
"You can't do this to me," Matthew said weakly, wiping his eyes as tears fell.
"You might change your mind. If they want you to stay, you can either do it voluntarily, or take them to court. Those are your only options."
Matthew shook his head and finally stopped crying. "My... only options?" he repeated in disbelief.
"Yes," the doctor clarified, "We will take you to another room to be evaluated and I'll have your parents sign the release papers, if it is decided for you to go to a psychiatric hospital, they will sign those as well and you will be transported by ambulance or car to the hospital. He wrote something down on an official looking clipboard then walked out before Matthew could get a word in edgewise.
Great, now he was going to be bunking with crazies. He sighed and sat back, holding Kumajinko tightly in his arms. He pushed his face into the worn but soft white fur, trying to control his breathing. They'd taken the nasal cannula- the technical term for the nose thing- off of him earlier since he could breathe just fine, but now his chest was tightening and he knew he was about to have a panic attack.
Just then, Alfred burst in, holding a couple bags of McDonald's. "Hey bro! You better thank me cause I saved you from this sucky hospital food and used my mad ninja skills to get past the guards," he grinned and set the bags down.
Matthew felt his stomach turn at the smell. Fat, sodium, calories, cholesterol. So much calories and fat. He felt like he might be sick just from the thought of it, but that thankfully distracted him mind from the panicking.. "I don't want any... I just had breakfast."
"It's like 9:30, stop trying to starve yourself," Al said and shoved a burger at him, "eat."
Matthew shook his head, "No."
"Am I gonna have to force you?"
"No, because I don't want your gross McDonald's," Matthew said, "You know I never really liked it."
"Fine, then how about fries? I know you like these," Alfred said and pulled out a large fry, stuffing a few pieces in his own mouth.
Matthew had to look away. Potatoes were healthy, but not when deep fried in greasy fat and covered in a gallon of salt. "No thanks," he declined and stared at the bed as his head spun from nausea. After a moment, he glanced over at Alfred who was frowning, looking down at the burger Matthew had just denied.
"Mattie, do you want me to get you something else? Because I can," Alfred said, sounding concerned and lost, "Like I can get you a salad somewhere or a protein bar or... or even an apple."
"I'm fine, thank you," he politely declined. His brother was sounded like he wasn't sure what to say or do. Matthew felt bad for a moment because he was putting his brother through this. But the moment evaporated as he heard Alfred scarfing his way through a burger, seemingly fine now.
He shot a look at him and suddenly realized something. "Isn't it a school day?"
Alfred laughed a little and ate while he talked. "Yea, but you're more important than math or English. Besides, you're missing school too."
"That's different. I don't want to be here," Matthew said.
"Then you should have come home."
"I couldn't," Matthew frowned, "I wasn't going to let you guys take me to..." He trailed off and looked at Al, feeling stupid. He had just made things worse for himself, that was all he ever did.
"A hospital," Al finished for him, sighing, "Well at least we didn't send you."
"Yea, but you are sending me to a crazy house," Matthew said.
"Dude, you're so lucky. It'll be like a video game. Spend the night without your roommate killing you, find clues about how old the place is, go in the basement and find skulls and bones and an electric chair. Then suddenly a crazy guy jump-scares you and-"
"Stop, Al, I don't think it's going to be like one of your creepy video games that I always hear you screaming at while playing," Matthew interrupted.
"I don't scream at the so called 'scary' parts. I go through totally chill and kill them crazy psychos!"
"Oh my God, please speak an English sentence," Matthew put his face in his hands, his inner Arthur springing out. "And that is not what happens."
"Is so!" Alfred stuck his tongue out at him childishly and grinned, "When you get out we'll play together, and I'll show you how awesome I am."
He was about to respond when he froze. "Awesome..." he whispered, not answering Alfred, but thinking of Gilbert. That was his favorite word. He had tried his best not to think of Gilbert because it hurt so much. Matthew had messed up so much, he hadn't meant to say that. He had overreacted big time. But the part of his mind that told him to say those mean things was now reminding him that Gilbert never even visited him.
'Maybe he never found out,' he thought to himself.
'He knows, but he doesn't care,' the voice said back.
'I can ask for forgiveness and makes everything all better.'
'He's Natalia's now,' the voice said, completely relentless.
'But he doesn't even like her,'
'He likes her more than you. You hurt him, you freak,'
"No, that's not true!" he yelled suddenly, closing his eyes tightly and pressing his hands to the sides of his head. He trembled and shook his head, trying to get the denial side to shut up. He felt an arm around him and thought for a moment it was Gilbert, but knew it was just Alfred. Well, Alfred would have to do. He leaned on his brother, lowered his hands, and cried. He really didn't want to, but there was no stopping the tears that poured out. He was mourning. He was mourning the loss of Gilbert, the loss of himself, and he wouldn't lose his brother. Even if he was barely alive, he needed the support of Alfred, who understood him. No, used to. No one could understand how Matthew felt because, well, he wasn't even sure himself.
Alfred here to try to save the day! And Kuma is all back together (that poor bear). So who guessed that Matthew would eventually have to end up in a mental hospital? Anyone? Ah well if you did, have, um, the pride of being awesome. Yea, great prize. Speaking of being awesome, I bet you're wondering where Gilbert is and why he hasn't visited. Well if someone yelled at you like that, you probably wouldn't want to see them for awhile. And that's all I'm saying on that matter. Have a good day, or night, or morning!