Isshiki Iroha wants me to take responsibility?
When loners become loners, they look to the terms and conditions and gladly accept them.
Never having to deal with anyone else again becomes the thing you most want. Nothing else matters. Being friends with no one but yourself is a greater freedom then anything else. The pros in this case far outweigh the cons. No promises to keep, no secrets to hide, no friendships to ruin and best of all: no one to betray you.
But...
It does get lonely...
Maybe to reach that which is genuine, I merely have to make it a group effort.
Or maybe the opposite. Maybe it can be shared, maybe it can't.
Maybe only one person can selfishly keep it.
If that is ever the case...
I'll make sure to be selfish just for once...
Leaving the house, the bitter cold air stuck around. The nice cold seabreeze now an attacking horde of air. Cowering into my scarf, I walk braving the weather down the familiar path to school.
I wasn't putting much hope into Isshiki turning up. After all, returning back to danger close distance to burned bridges was off-putting. Either way, you end up pondering the what-ifs, the would've beens. You blame yourself thinking if only I had acted differently, If only I hadn't said that or if only I said something.
Therefore...It'd be perfectly reasonable to assume Isshiki would take another day off.
But, next to the corner of the road. A small petite girl stood alone, waiting for someone.
Looking on, I tried to identify her when her marked face confirmed my suspicions.
She saw me first though which was the trade-off.
"Ahh senpai."
She shivered as she walked friskily down to me. Her face was now in the open again, her once fresh mark now old and covered with a new forming of skin that looked like frozen blood. I learned to get past superficial appearances long ago, others however base their judgement on first impressions alone. After that, there was normally no space for re-evaluations. I left pretty early today as I figured a good walk will put my cautious mind at ease.
So why is she here this early too?
"How long have you been waiting?"
"Dunno, a couple minutes? You shouldn't keep a girl waiting senpai. That's considered rude."
Always nagging, still bossy in that trademark style of hers now.
She continued speaking though.
"You were much earlier then I expected to be honest."
"Then what are you doing out here? In the cold? Waiting for me?"
"Cuz it'll be a nicer change from the usual."
"What? You mea-I mean what about your friends?"
It wasn't an answer worth answering, I'd guess as much. The only person I guess you could hang out with is the mutual friend but even then, they're not company you actively search for. They are someone else's friend after all.
"I kept in touch with my best friend so I've still got her...
So I can talk to her when I get back in."
Ahh the "best friend". I wished at one point in life I had one of those. Always dependable, the yin to your yang and closer to you then relations by blood. Obviously, they never saw what best friends do behind your backs.
But Yui and Yukino are best friends if my calculations were correct.
I was slightly envious of that but ultimately, they deserved it.
"No. I don't mean that. I mean what about your friends?"
She made an apologetic smile.
"Sorry senpai. they don't get up this early."
It was a mask fabricated in an instant. It was so painfully obvious, I wondered why she even tried.
"Then why are you up this early?"
"Mhmmm."
Gazing at her with an expectant stare, she stutters whilst looking more and more unsure til finally she cracks.
"Geez, my mother found out after you left what actually happened.
So there you happy now?"
Her voice carried a bitter edge to it. So problems at home eh?
She must've lied to her mom about it...
She shivered once more, her legs covered in goosebumps.
Undoing my scarf, I hold it out to her.
"Here, you look cold."
"Ahh I hate being indebted to you senpai."
Then why take it off my hands then? Sure it was a horrible looking scarf with only a bland grey and white but it does it's job.
"Well think of it as charity work. It's been given as a donation."
"Ahh so I can burn it after right? For warmth!"
"Ehhh? No just don't! It's a temporary donation! Means it still has to be given back to its rightful owner!"
This evil bitch...
"Wahaha! What was with that reaction? You have weird priorities senpai."
"Well that's subjective..."
"Yeah, It is isn't it?"
Feeling the conversation has taken another meaning I'm unaware of, I get back to the point.
"Well, I suppose I better walk you to school then."
Resuming my usual pace and Isshiki adorned in a unappealing scarf (atleast to some), we walk to school.
She doesn't give up though, closing the distance between us til she's pressing at my side.
"Ya know, I should take you clothe-shopping to get you a better scarf."
"Why? I'm fine with that one as it is."
"Next time I'll need to borrow one, It can be a nice colourful one instead!"
Her self-preservation mechanism was strong but telling me the plan was rather simple-minded of you Sly-shiki.
I guess I'll humor her though.
"If you're that determined then I guess it can't be helped."
"It's no fun if you don't put up a fight senpai."
Urgah! I misunderstood her intentions. Sly bitch.
Urgah! She's holding my arm! Please Isshiki, my heart can't take this anymore so please stop.
"You know, I learned recently about heat sources. You're scarf's plenty useless on its own senpai."
Then why take it? You know I'd like it back now. I'm it's rightful owner.
She continued on though.
"But body heat keeps most people alive from being frozen to death."
Wait she meant?! Well this is just self preservation at work! The human survival instinct is ingenious, particularly when it involved others! Use others as bait to get ahead of them is the best tactic of survival for selfish people.
She squeezed my arm in a vice-like grip.
"Ahh this is much better already~!"
As nice as it feels, I'm definitely not gonna get used to this.
"Well, if those rumors only get worse then it's your fault. Got it?"
"Yeah Yeah senpai. It's better not to bother with em anyway. It's much more fun this way."
"...
Right..."
And with my insecurities bubbling in my pounding chest, we continue onwards. The school in the distance welcoming us.
"Oh yeah! So before we get to school. Let's share info."
"Eh?"
"You're the scouting party for what we're searching for. So tell me, hows your search going."
"Scouting party? What for?"
She looks at me, an obvious truth in her eyes. Her eyes seemed to scream a indescribable answer.
"You know...
That something genuine."
Ahh that. She did say she wanted it too but even after the rejection she still got back up and searched elsewhere.
In that case, it made sense to share classified military intelligence. But still...
My genuine thing and her genuine thing could be totally different.
"Well, I don't know how...
Maybe I'm getting closer to it bit by bit. But it's like wandering through a mist.
What is the right direction?"
She gazed with a serious gaze befitting the sudden serious topic.
Then the words hit my head. Ohh mann she's creeped out or something! That sounded ridiculously stupid.
"Ahh sorry that sounded stupid. Just ignore me."
But surprisingly...
"No, it's OK. It was corny yeah, I think you ripped it off a movie or something."
How embarrassing...
"But it made sense. Well it's better on my end."
Closing her eyes, she smiled sincerely.
"I think, I found the general direction of where it is. I just gotta figure out how to approach it."
Despite her being ahead of me, I'm glad she's getting closer to it. People deserve happiness.
No matter who it is.
"I'm happy for you. Truly."
"Wahaha! Still with the corny lines senpai? Well, I'm sorry. Corny doesn't mean a better chance to be with me so I'm sorry it won't work out~!"
Talk about killing the mood! Her and Yui would be an unstoppable force!
"Let's just head to school..."
"Ahh embarrassed boys are pretty cute too."
"Whatever. Whatever."
Reaching the school, it was more emptier then normal.
Obviously so, we're earlier then most.
There was still the nagging feeling in my head about her wellbeing.
"So Isshiki, how are you gonna deal with today?"
She looks confidently. She has a plan sorted out?
"I can deal with that senpai. I feel I can fit right back in class again."
"Well, just know your friends will be conscious of your fight with the other girl. No bad blood between you two yes?"
"Don't worry, it won't come to that senpai."
And with a confident smirk, she turns.
"Woah hold up a sec! For the student council, I got the service club to help on lunch so show up will you?"
"Ahh Yukino-bookworm-senpai will be a big help!"
"Was the bookworm part necessary?"
"Ahh sorry senpai."
Right. She knew more then I about how to get her popularity back up. Being the student council president, I could imagine it gave her more options for that.
And waiting for longer then usual, the school day started.
A pleasant surprise to hear was the rumors stopped circulating. No doubt thanks to the domino effect from Hayama. The girls would take that as truth and tell their friends who would tell their other friends.
"Yahallo Hikki."
And there in came Yui.
"Yo."
"You're never in early."
"Ahh well, I came earlier then usual today. Figured a good walk would clear my mind."
"That makes sense. Well, me and Yukino will be in the council on standby so we can help out!"
"Thanks, I appreciate it.
The both of you..."
"Don't mention it Hikki. You saved my-our club sooo consider it returning the favor yeah!"
"Eh? But you already did for the joint school collaboration?"
"OK then. In that case, you owe us then."
Ohh man she turned it around on me big time. I need to learn to give up the humility sometimes...
"Damn..."
"No-one but your fault Hikki."
"Yeah yeah."
Eh but still, depending on people isn't that bad. Even if it does mean they may depend on me down the road but no pressure right?
"Still, thanks."
And the day went on much more quietly then before.
Ok I'm back guys! let's get this show on the road. I'll work onto finishing this off then I can move onto new fics for other characters in Oregairu.