When they were approaching their six month anniversary, Derek was trying to think of a good date for them, but unfortunately, he was coming up empty. Luckily, Spencer came into the coffee shop a few days before, tapping his fingers on the counter and chewing on his cheek.

"Can I help you, nervous little bunny rabbit?" Penelope said. "Or are you looking for someone taller, darker, and handsomer?"

He smiled slightly. "Yes, I am. Sorry."

She put up a finger. "He's in the back, I'll go fetch him for you." She stepped toward the back room, poking her head in. "Special delivery of something tall, skinny, and hipster-chic."

Spencer raised an eyebrow. "And that means…?"

"All good things," she assured him, walking back to the register.

Derek walked over. "Hey, the usual?" he asked, picking up a cup.

"...That depends?"

Derek looked at him, curious. "On…?"

"If it comes with a side of the barista, who possibly isn't busy on Friday so I can take him on a date, because I know he has Saturday off?" he asked.

"Friday as in our six-month anniversary Friday?" Derek asked, starting his drink.

He nodded. "Yeah."

Derek put on the whipped cream and chocolate drizzle, humming to himself, thinking it over. "I guess I could do that." He slid the drink over to him, taking his credit card. "What time?"

"About 3:00? We could go for an early dinner and then maybe a walk on the beach at sunset?"

Derek handed the credit card back to him. "A trip to the beach? What happened to Mr. 'I've never been a fan of the beach'?"

He shrugged, tucking his card back into his wallet. "Something tells me if anyone can change my mind about it, it would be you." He took a sip of his drink, smiling. "I'll pick you up Friday afternoon at your place."

Derek saluted him. "See you then."

Spencer grinned, waving and walking out.

Penelope clicked her tongue. "Well, well, well… look at you. You've turned Spencer Reid into a romantic who plans anniversary dates." She patted him on the shoulder. "Bravo, and I expect details."

He smiled, patting her hand. "We'll see."

On the afternoon of their six-month anniversary, Derek had just finished putting away his laundry when there was a knock on the door.

"You have my spare key," Derek reminded him, pulling on his jacket.

"I could use it, or you could just open the door?" Spencer suggested.

He laughed, zipping up his jacket, walking over and opening the door. "Hello, dear, how are you today?"

"That's better," Spencer told him, handing him a rose. "Happy six months."

Derek smirked. "How romantic of you." He walked to the kitchen, filling a glass with water before putting the rose inside. "Am I spending the night tonight?"

"If you choose to do so, I can't stop you. Though after the beach, we can swing by and grab your car so you can head home whenever you feel like it tomorrow."

He put up a finger. "Let me go pack my bag." He went to his room, taking a duffel bag out of the closet and packing it up with clothes.

Spencer's phone rung in his pocket and he checked it before turning down the volume, ignoring the call and stuffing it back into his pocket.

"Who was that?" Derek asked, zipping up the bag.

Spencer shrugged. "It's been calling me for a while. Um, might just be one of those telemarketers."

"Didn't know those still existed."

"Apparently so."

Derek looked at him, eyebrows raised, before putting the strap of his bag over his shoulder and taking out his phone, texting his neighbor. "Neighbor's going to stop by to check on Clooney, so for the next 24 hours or so, I'm all yours."

Spencer smiled, taking his keys out of his pocket and petting Clooney before walking outside, Derek following close behind.

After they'd gone to lunch, Spencer drove them to the beach.

"So, you're going to change your opinion on the beach for me?" Derek asked, unbuckling his seat belt.

Spencer shook his head. "Not quite. I'm merely being a good boyfriend and experiencing one of your favorite things with you. If I just so happen to like everything that happens, my opinion may be swayed." He took the keys out of the ignition, putting them into his pocket. "Shall we?"

Derek nodded. "We shall." He opened his door, getting out and walking around to open Spencer's.

Spencer smiled and shook his head, taking his hand and getting out of the car, following him onto the beach. "So, what's the point?"

Derek looked at him, confused. "The point?"

"You know, of going to the beach, or walking on it as we're doing now? I mean, all I see is sand and some snow. Is this supposed to be romantic? I can appreciate the scenery and everything, but seriously, what about this is romantic?"

Derek leaned in, kissing Spencer softly, smirking as it silenced him and taking his hand, lacing their fingers. "For me? It's about being with someone who matters, hearing the ocean, and clearing my head."

"So it's tranquility?" Spencer asked, looking over at him. "The silence and the ocean noises. It's a calming experience more than anything."

"Bingo," Derek told him, squeezing his hand and walking. "And what, are you just so good that you perfectly timed our walk on the beach with sunset?"

He shrugged. "I figured it would be a good way to end the date portion of our night. We could go back to my place for movies and maybe a drink or two, but I think this right here is the right way to wrap up our day, considering it's your dream date."

"That it is." Derek sat down in the sand, motioning for Spencer to sit beside him. "Come on, let's watch the sunset."

Spencer eyed the sand. "Sand is made up of rock and mineral particles. Why would I sit on it?"

"Because it's romantic and comfortable, so long as it doesn't end up in your clothes and shoes. Now come on, you big baby."

Spencer rolled his eyes."The way to get me to participate in something is not to insult me," Spencer told him, taking off his jacket and setting it down, sitting on it.

"Well, it worked, didn't it?" Derek teased, wrapping an arm around him and rubbing his arm, the two of them sitting on the beach together until the sun had set.

Derek sat in Spencer's living room while Spencer was in the kitchen, looking through his fridge.

"Beer or wine?" Spencer called out to him.

"Whichever you bring me," Derek told him, picking up the remote and flipping through the channels.

"Please just put in a movie. You know how I hate tuning into movies when they've already started."

Derek put up his hands before setting the remote on the table, getting up and looking through his movies. He finally picked one up and opened it, putting it into the player and sitting on the couch. "As you wish."

"What are we watching?" Spencer asked, handing him a bottle of beer and setting his own wine glass down.

"Batman Begins. I was going to go with The Dark Knight, but then I realized it's the second movie in a trilogy, and you need to watch things in order."

"That I do, thank you." He took a seat beside Derek, pulling the blanket off of the back of the couch and putting it over himself.

"You do realize you can just turn the heat up, right?"

"...Or you can just put your arms around me and share body heat?" Spencer suggested.

Derek pressed play on the remote before wrapping an arm around Spencer, rubbing his arm and kissing the top of his head. "Better?"

"Much."

"So…" Spencer started, taking a sip of his wine before setting the glass down again, "did you like it?"

Derek motioned toward the TV. "We're only twenty minutes in, but yeah, it's a good movie."

"I meant, you know, the date. Doing your favorite things. I wanted to make our six month anniversary special and that seemed like the best way to do it."

"That depends," Derek told him, sipping his beer and putting the bottle onto a coaster.

Spencer squinted before looking up at him, confused. "...On?"

"Did your opinion of the beach change today?"

He clicked his tongue, thinking to himself. "Well, it doesn't seem as bad as I thought. Will that suffice?"

"For now." Derek tilted Spencer's chin up, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. "I loved the date. It was cute and simple and I loved it."

Spencer smiled, blushing. "I'm glad."

"Though we are going back to the beach when it's warmer out so you can get the full experience."

Spencer clicked his tongue, sighing. "We'll see."

Derek looked at him, curious, before shaking his head and tuning back into the movie.

Later that night, the two of them decided to turn in. Derek walked into Spencer's room after changing into his pajamas, turning off the light and climbing into bed beside him, pulling the blankets up.

Spencer sighed, looking over at him. "I'm sorry."

"...For what?"

He cleared his throat. "I don't know. A lot of things?"

"And may I ask what brought this on?"

Spencer moved closer, resting his head on Derek's chest and sighing. "I love you, Derek, I do."

"And you know I love you too, Pretty Boy."

Spencer smiled slightly, reaching up and wiping his eyes.

Derek reached over, turning on the lamp on the nightstand. "Come on, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting up.

He chewed on his lip. "I trust you, Derek. And I love you, but I'm not ready for certain levels of our relationship to happen. We've been sharing a bed for quite some time now, but I don't want you to expect me to just… be ready and give it up."

"...I never expected that?" Derek said, looking at him, confused. "What's going on?"

Spencer ran a hand over his face. "I just don't want you to wait forever for me to be ready for that level of commitment, because it takes time. I trust you, but that means a lot to me, and I need you to understand that."

"...I understand it just fine."

He exhaled. "In the past, I've done that, and someone ended up hurt, and I don't want that to happen to us. It makes everything complicated and I don't want either of us to hurt the other in the end."

Derek sighed, wrapping an arm around him. "You don't have to worry about that. Whenever you're ready, I promise you, I won't leave or hurt you or make anything complicated."

Spencer sniffed, resting his head on Derek's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Derek shook his head, rubbing his back. "Don't be. We've all got emotional baggage. But you have to know I won't hurt you. I could never."

He bit his lip, nodding slightly, before allowing Derek to lay the two of them down and calm him down.

The next morning, Derek woke up early to make Spencer breakfast. He immediately turned on the coffeepot, to be sure that would be ready to go for him, before looking through his fridge to figure out what to make. A short while later, he'd made them scrambled eggs, toast, and waffles, putting them on the kitchen table. He then poured Spencer a cup of coffee, putting in his sugar and stirring it. Walking to the bedroom, he set the mug on Spencer's nightstand, waiting for a reaction.

It was less than a minute before Spencer's head poked out from under the blanket, sniffing.

Derek laughed softly. "Oh, you are like a police dog sniffing out crack," he teased, leaning against the dresser and smirking.

Spencer glared at him, sitting up and reaching for the cup, taking a sip.

"Good morning to you too. Breakfast is waiting on the kitchen table and if I may say so myself, it looks pretty damn good."

Spencer finished off his cup of coffee, setting the mug on his nightstand and stretching. "And there's more coffee?"

"I don't have a deathwish, so yes, there's more coffee."

Spencer stood up, patting his cheek. "Good boy." He picked up the mug, walking back to the kitchen and refilling it.

After breakfast, the two of them were sitting in the living room, Spencer leaning against Derek's side. They were watching game shows and Spencer was frustratingly glaring at the screen anytime someone got a 'very simple question' by his standards wrong. Derek would shake his head, rubbing Spencer's arm, before focusing on the show again.

When one of the contestants mentioned being a grad student, Spencer tensed up.

"...You okay down there?" Derek asked, looking down at him.

Spencer cleared his throat, nodding slightly. "Fine," he said quickly, sitting up straight and stretching. "I um, I'm going to go check on something in my study. Are you going to be okay out here?"

"Yeah, no problem."

Spencer gave him a smile before getting up, walking to his study and closing the door behind him.

Derek leaned back against the couch, thinking. Spencer had been acting weird for a while now. It was just bits and pieces here and there, but now all of the pieces were coming together. It all started back when Spencer had met with his advisor a few months ago, then didn't divulge any information about the meeting. Anytime Derek asked about it, Spencer would just brush it off and say it was nothing. Shortly after, Spencer started asking questions about his houses, specifically about how he let them go after working so long and hard on them. On top of that, anytime he got his mail or checked his e-mail or even got a phone call lately, he'd be extremely secretive about it, taking it in private and leaving Derek waiting while he 'took care of it' or dismissed the phone call as a 'telemarketer'. However, after any of these happened, Spencer would be fidgety and nervous. Then of course there was the discussion they had the night before, where Spencer said that people always ended up hurt or alone in the end. He knew he was never going to hurt Spencer, so had to wonder if Spencer was planning on hurting him.

He ran a hand over his face, sighing. There was something bothering Spencer, and it had been for a while. Maybe it involved his sick mother and that's why he took everything privately, or it involve his slightly absentee father and that's why he would be upset afterward. The fact of the matter was though, he and Spencer knew everything about each other, or at least he thought they did, and if it was something like that, he thought Spencer would tell him and they'd talk about it. Whatever it was though, Derek needed to get to the bottom of it.

He walked inside the study to find Spencer going through several papers on his desk. He knocked on the doorframe and Spencer raised an eyebrow, pushing them into a pile and shoving them into a drawer, looking up at Derek.

"What's up?"

"I was about to ask you the same question."

Spencer looked at him, confused. "Excuse me?"

"Every phone call lately is a 'scammer' or a 'telemarketer'. If I'm over here, I can't get your mail for you because 'I'm not a resident'. You compulsively check your e-mail, even though you're currently out of school and not going back until at least June. It all seems kind of weird, don't you think?"

He shrugged. "If you think so."

"Then there's the same discussions we've had over and over again. You're worried about getting attached, about me hurting you, and you're being secretive. Not to mention that you're always asking questions about letting my houses go or about relationship statistics, and I guess I just don't get it."

"What don't you get?"

Derek sighed, crossing his arms and clicking his tongue. "I guess I just want to know what it is you're really afraid of. I know it's not me, and I know it's not us, and I think after all of this time, I at least deserve an explanation of why you're being so quiet and secretive."

Spencer sighed, his hand still on the handle of the drawer. There were so many times he wanted to come clean to Derek and tell him the truth, but it never seemed like the right time to do so. Now seemed like as good of a time as any to finally get it all out in the open. He opened the drawer again, taking out the pile of papers and setting them on the desk, motioning toward them.

"Go ahead."

Derek raised an eyebrow, stepping forward and picking up the papers, looking through the pile. "Letters from colleges? This is what you've been hiding from me?" He eyed Spencer. "You've told me before that several schools are after you for your brains and want you to represent them. I don't get what the big deal is."

Spencer cleared his throat, shaking his head. "Read the letters." When Derek gave him a look, he sighed again. "Please."

Derek glanced down at the first letter, reading through, before going through a few more in the pile. "...They're offering you full-boat scholarships with room and board? That's… great."

"Look at the locations," Spencer said softly.

Derek thumbed through the pile before it dawned on him. "...You're leaving."

"No, I mean… not yet, anyway. I haven't chosen one or decided on anything yet."

He set the pile down on the desk. "Why can't you just do it here? There are plenty of colleges around here and I'm sure they'd offer you the same thing, if not better."

He stood up. "Because none of these programs are available anywhere around here, and I need to finish my coursework."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you need to finish it out of state? Why do you need to finish at all?"

"Because I only have Bachelors' degrees, and I want them to be Masters'."

"What for?" he motioned toward the pile. "You don't know what you want to do with your life, Spencer. All you do is go to school and keep studying to occupy your time. What kind of future do you see in these?" He flipped through. "Mathematics, Chemistry, Engineering, Psychology, and Sociology? What the hell are you going to do with those?"

"More than you," Spencer argued.

Derek looked at him, eyes wide. "Excuse me?"

Spencer took a deep breath. "You're standing here, tearing me apart for my life choices, when you choose to work a menial job as a barista. It's obvious that you have bigger and better skills that you can utilize and you could do something that actually matters, but know what? You're afraid of change and used to your comfort zone. As admirable as that may be, I don't find it fair that you're picking apart my possible life choices when you never make any of your own."

Derek paused. "...What?"

"You want to insult me for not knowing what I want to do with my life, but you do know and you're too scared to pursue it. I may be younger and more inexperienced with life, but that doesn't mean I won't find out what I want to do, finally do it, and be happy with myself. I don't want to leave any room in my life for second guessing, but apparently, that isn't a problem for you. You're content with mediocre."

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. For the next ten minutes, their voices got louder and louder, arguing back and forth. Derek was upset with Spencer for basically saying he was content doing something he wasn't happy with, and Spencer was upset with Derek for saying he didn't know what he wanted out of life and was merely going to school for a hobby. With every single thing they argued about, their voices would get louder.

"I'm sorry that I'm trying to actually make something of myself and do something with my life."

Derek looked at him. "And I'm not? I'm just making people's coffee orders and doing absolutely nothing to contribute to society?"

Spencer groaned. "That's not what I'm saying! Jesus, Julian, you don't listen-" Spencer paused, his eyes going wide realizing what he'd just said. "I didn't mean-"

Derek put up his hand, shaking his head. "Why?"

"I don't know, we argued and I guess my mind just went back to that and-"

Derek shook his head again. "Why did you string me along for the last six months if you knew that you were just going to leave me high and dry in the end?"

"I tried to distance myself," Spencer defended. "I put space between us, but you forced your way back into my life."

"I didn't force anything. You chose to let me in and you chose to keep dating me."

Spencer exhaled. "And maybe I shouldn't have."

Derek sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I can't do this."

"Do what?" Spencer asked softly.

"I can't keep arguing about this. I need to do both of us a favor and get out of here before I say something that I really don't mean."

Spencer nodded slightly. "I think that would be a smart decision."

Derek ran a hand over his scalp before walking out of the office, taking his phone off of the charger in the bedroom, tucking it into his pocket and wrapping up the charger.

Spencer walked over to him, holding out his bag and avoiding eye contact.

Derek took the bag from him, putting it over his shoulder and taking out his car keys, walking out the front door and closing it behind him. As soon as he arrived at his house, he threw his bag down and sat down on his couch, groaning. If he'd just stayed away from Spencer in the very beginning when he'd distanced himself, they wouldn't have just had a huge argument and he wouldn't be feeling this miserable.

The following morning at work, Derek was keeping to himself.

Penelope walked over, nudging him with her elbow. "So?"

He looked up at her, eyebrow raised. "So?"

"How did the big six month anniversary date go? I know that Spencer usually doesn't plan dates, but he told me all about his plans beforehand and it sounded so romantic!"

He thought it over before shrugging. "Fine."

"'Fine'? Mr. Non-Romantic himself plans your dream date, down to the last detail, and you just say it was 'fine'? What happened?"

"Nothing," he put plainly, wiping down the counter and walking over to the sink, washing his hands.

"'Nothing'?" she repeated, before shaking her head. "Something happened, and I want to know what's wrong with my favorite non-Sam man. Please talk to me?"

Derek cleared his throat. "Let's just say Spencer won't be stopping by for his daily coffee fix today, and tomorrow isn't looking too promising either." She opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, Derek sighed. "I need to go do some inventory for Hotch," he mumbled, walking to the back room and closing the door behind him.

That day at work was pretty much silent, as were the following few days.

While she was on her break one afternoon, Penelope took out her phone, calling JJ.

"Hey, Pen," she answered, "calling back to take that babysitting offer for this weekend?"

Penelope chewed on her cheek. "Not exactly, but I do accept. I actually had a question for you."

"Go for it, but can you make it quick? I need to finish up at work and then run to pick up Henry."

"Yeah, right to the point - what the hell happened with Derek and Spencer? I figure you're the sister-neighbor, so you'd know better than anyone that isn't them. Derek has been super un-Derek, and I haven't seen Spencer in since the day of their date. Did they break up or something?"

"Or something," JJ said, sighing. "Listen, after I pick up Henry, we'll be at your place and I'll explain everything."

"This isn't going to be good, is it?"

"...I'll see you when you get out of work."

Penelope groaned. "See you then." She hung up, tucking her phone into her apron and going back to work.

She walked into her apartment after work, closing the door behind her.

"Aunt Penny!" Henry said, running up to her and hugging her legs.

She picked him up, kissing his cheek. "Well, hello there handsome. I happen to have some new coloring books in my bedroom, know anyone who would be interested?"

His hand shot up. "I would!"

She set him down. "On top of my dresser. Stay in there while I talk to Mommy, okay?"

He gave her a thumbs up and ran to her room.

"You spoil him way too much," JJ said, leaning back against the couch.

She shrugged. "That's one man's love I never have to worry about losing." She sat beside JJ, sighing. "Okay, spill."

JJ made sure Henry was pre-occupied before turning to Penelope, sighing. "All I can say is wow. From what I understand, the date went amazingly, but it all hit the fan the next morning."

"...What, did they do the deed or something?"

She shook her head, wrinkling her nose. "No, and do not talk about my pseudo-brother 'doing the deed' again."

"Okay, sorry. Then what happened?"

She sighed. "I don't know. I woke up that morning to the two of them basically screaming at each other, back and forth, before Derek walked out. One thing I did hear was that Spence accidentally called him 'Julian'."

Penelope winced. "Ouch, that sounds painful. Can I ask know how Spencer is?"

JJ ran a hand through her hair. "He's… a mess. Worse than he ever was after everything with Julian happened. I can't even get him to leave his place. He stays in there, doors and windows locked, curtains closed, lights off. Won't answer the phone or anything."

Penelope exhaled. "Damn. Did they break up?"

She shrugged slightly. "I don't know. Derek stormed out and they're both miserable, but I don't think they called it quits. How's he doing, anyway?"

"As un-Derek as he could possibly get. He's barely himself. He's quiet, withdrawn, barely interacts with customers, and does absolutely nothing on his days off. As ridiculous as it may sound, I miss him."

"I can agree with that," JJ said, chewing on her cheek. "They're both miserable without each other."

"Then maybe we just need to put them back together?" Penelope suggested. "I mean, obviously they need each other, and they just need to work through whatever happened."

"I can try to talk to Spence, but I can't promise anything."

"Ditto with Derek."

Henry ran out of her room, holding up a coloring page to JJ. "Mama, I give this to Uncle Spence?"

"And there's your 'in'," Penelope said, smiling.

"I think he'd really love it, buddy," JJ said, picking him up and kissing his cheek.

To say JJ had been unsuccessful getting through to Spencer was an extreme understatement. Penelope had asked how it went, and JJ told her that Spencer had taken the picture from Henry, thanked him, then said he was busy, sending them away. When it was Derek's day off, Penelope made it her mission to check on him. She knocked on his front door and got no answer, so decided to text him.

I see your car in the driveway, are you home?

It was a few minutes before she got a response.

In the basement. Door's unlocked.

She took a deep breath before opening the door, closing it behind her and walking down to the basement. She could hear Derek grunting and raised an eyebrow. "...Derek, everything okay?"

"Come on down," he shouted.

She walked down the stairs and saw him leaning against his washing machine, opening up a Gatorade and taking a gulp. A few feet away from him was a punching bag which was very well-worn. "...This may be a dumb question, but is everything okay?"

He put his gloves back on, tightening them and looking back at the bag, walking up and punching it.

She raised her eyebrows. "That's an answer," she said, setting down her purse, walking over and trying to hold the bag in place. "Come on, Derek, talk to me."

He ignored her, repeatedly hitting it.

"Something? Anything? You haven't talked to me all week and a silent Derek Morgan is a scary Derek Morgan."

Derek shook his head slightly, exhaling, before pulling off the gloves and throwing them on top of the washer. "Spencer's leaving and didn't even have the decency to tell me anything about it. We fought, I left, the end."

Her eyes widened. "You mean he finally decided?"

He looked at her, confused. "...I mean he's been getting letters from out of state schools and hiding them from me for the last three months. He finally told me that he's been lying to me and dragging me along. What do you mean 'he finally decided'?"

She sighed, cursing to herself. "I mean... JJ told me about the whole 'possibly going to school out of state' thing months ago. I just assumed he talked to you or would've mentioned it."

"So you knew something about my boyfriend that you knew he was hiding from me, and rather than being a good friend and telling me, you decided to wait it out? What the hell?"

"I didn't do it to hurt you," she assured him, "I just - I didn't know what to do. I mean, yes, you're my best guy friend, but I've known Spencer like forever. I couldn't just go ahead and blurt out this huge secret to you, because that wouldn't be fair to him."

"And this is fair to me?" he asked.

"No, not exactly-"

"I think you should go," Derek told her, motioning toward the stairs.

"Come on, Derek. You can talk to me. You can trust me. Don't shut me out."

"A little late for that," he told her, holding out her purse.

She sighed, putting it over her shoulder and nodding. "I'm here, Derek," she told him, patting his arm. "I'm here for you and you can confide in me, whether you want to believe it or not." She looked to Derek for a response, but when nothing happened, she patted his arm again and walking up the stairs, closing the door behind her.

Derek took a few deep breaths before shaking his head, putting his gloves back on and going back to the punching bag, hoping to work out some of his anger.

Author's Note: Apologies for the lateness of this chapter. My muse decided that a vacation was more important than helping me get this chapter written. Thanks to everyone for your patience and I hope to have the next chapter up soon.