Tree.
"I want a Christmas tree."
"No." This simple exchange had been going on all weekend. Prowl and Sideswipe had carried this argument through every room, every corridor and every conversation. The result had split the base into three factions: those that welcomed Christmas, those who did not and those who probably could not care less.
"But I really, really want a Christmas tree!"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because it is a waste of time and resources when the Decepticons could strike at any moment."
"Aw, you always use that excuse when you don't want us to do anything interesting in the base!"
"Then you will realise the futility of your argument this time and give it up." Fat chance.
"Tree."
"No."
"Tree."
"No."
"No tree?"
"Red Alert," the security director jumped at the mention of his name. He had learned – and very quickly at that – that there was only misery to be had from getting involved in Ark arguments. "Explain to Sideswipe why it is implausible to have a Christmas tree from the perspective of security." There was a long silence.
"Actually, I see no problem. It's only a tree." His upper torso remained calm and he concentrated on a data-pad while his legs propelled him out of the room. Prowl's optics followed the white Lamborghini from his sight.
"So… we can have a tree?"
"No." Sideswipe pouted, disappeared and reappeared, clutching Windcharger, Bumblebee, Grapple and Sunstreaker.
"They agree with me," Sideswipe said, gesturing to the minibots and the architect. Prowl turned to look at Sunstreaker. "Oh, he's only here because he's coming with me to Portland."
"Nearly out of wax," Sunstreaker explained.
"But the tree!" The red twin continued.
"It would be fun to indulge in the humans' traditions," Grapple coaxed.
"Yeah. We might understand them better," Windcharger cajoled.
"I've spoken to Spike and it sounds really, really fun!" The yellow minibot grinned excitedly. "I don't understand how we missed it last year. Please Prowl? Please?" Prowl contemplated their words.
"No."
"You mean, we aren't celebrating Christmas?" Prowl turned to the hurt voice. The young grey Datsun had overheard the conversation as he passed through the control centre. Bluestreak went over to Prowl and looked up into his gaze. Bluestreak's optics went large and deep-hued. His slightly parted lips trembled faintly and none who looked into that face could ignore the sad lustre. It was like a beautiful, innocent child in sickened longing, who had been told that he would not get any presents that Christmas because Santa could not be bothered to stop at his house. It was painfully distressing. Prowl turned away.
"Grapple, get Hoist and a large saw: we're going tree hunting."
"Please explain to me one more time why we couldn't just take the nearest evergreen tree to the base," Prowl stated.
"I'm telling you Prowl, it has to be special! It has to be a certain height, in good condition, with lots and lots of branches to hang stuff from!" Sideswipe looked up and around wildly, still scanning for the perfect tree. He had insisted on coming along to 'help', and no-one had been able to say no to Bluestreak.
"Well, how about these?" Prowl gestured to the forest in general that surrounded the Autobot base.
"Ha-ha! And people think you don't have a sense of humour!" Sideswipe held Spike's card out to Prowl. "See this? That's the kind of tree I want!" To Prowl, it was an ordinary tree with fancy decorations. He thought it best not to tell Sideswipe that, and kept on walking.
"How about we go into Portland and buy a tree?"
"A little pot-plant? No! We need something for our height. Otherwise, we'll never experience that Christmassy feeling, will we?" He grinned at Bluestreak, who grinned back in return and bounced up and down with the excitement of one who was not out in the cold and dark, looking for a tree in a forest.
"These are even the wrong kind of tree; we need a pine tree, not a fir."
"Ah, we'd never get a pine in time for Christmas – an evergreen's an evergreen, right?" Sideswipe shrugged and at the same moment, Bluestreak stopped and pointed. His target was an evergreen about a head taller than a dinobot. The branches were perfectly green and dotted with seeds; nothing was broken or dying. "Ooh! Nice choice, Blue!" Sideswipe slapped him on the back and Bluestreak returned his affection with the excitement of a child who had just completed his first pageant. To Prowl, it was just another tree.
"Alright, Grapple, Hoist: we've made our selection." Finally. "Cut it down." And thus, the bickering began over how to cut it down and transport it to the Ark without damage.
Jazz turned and whistled a long, low note at the dirt tracks that wended their way from the forest, through the corridors and into the common room.
"Any troubles?"
"It was muddy," Hoist complained.
"So what we usin' for decorations?" Jazz looked around and saw nothing. Every optic in the common-room turned to Prowl. Without ever meaning to, it seemed that he had become the 'Christmas Director'. Prowl turned to look at Wheeljack.
"Are those Christmas lights ready, Wheeljack?"
"The ones you asked me ta construct a few hours ago before ya went out? Sure, they're ready."
"And the tinsel and baubles, Perceptor?"
"Red and yellow tinsel and every colour of bauble imaginable. I'm currently finishing off the blue and violet ones though," Perceptor replied. Prowl could feel Bluestreak radiate happiness and excitement, and many of the other 'bots were not far from the same emotions. Prowl's smile slid onto his face. If they were going to celebrate 'Christmas', they would do it properly, and everything would be ready with military precision, come Decepticon attack or calm. Of course, Prowl knew better than to expect calm; the common-room Autobots were already arguing over who would decorate the tree and how it would be done. For some reason, Sunstreaker's foot had pushed Sideswipe back and had worked its way into his brother's mouth. Prowl did not realise it, but with all of the spats and stress and squabbling, they were about to experience a genuine human Christmas.
End.
A/N: Edited due to spelling error. Thanks to the reviewer who picked up on that!