I slammed the door behind me as I entered into my loft apartment. Still upset at what Vivio had told me, I angrily grabbed a pillow and threw it across the room before falling onto my couch. Hunching over, I put both hands to my face and repressed an urge to scream. The images kept coming back to my mind and animated against my will. Vivio groaning on all fours, panting as some faceless guy had his way with her. I shook my head to try and clear the thoughts, repressing the look on her face as she panted over me the other day. How many people saw that face? The expression I thought only I could ever see. The look of bliss and happiness, all of it ruined by the knowledge that she put out more than a cheap whore. As I moved my hands from my face, I noticed they were wet and a salty taste was in my mouth when I licked my lips. My arm quickly ran over my eyes and I sniffed, refusing to let myself cry. In this situation, I knew there was only one thing that I could do to make me feel better. Reaching into my pocket, I took out my cell phone and called my mother.

PornStar!Vivio VI

By: Satashi

Elena Virage looked up from her novel when her device decided to interrupt her reading. The tone told her that it was her daughter giving one of her late night calls. A small tap made a monitor appear in front of her with the words 'voice only' displayed across it. "Hello, Syn," she greeted cheerfully.

"Hey mom." The voice made the mother sit down her book at once. "I kind of have an issue."

"What is it honey?" Elena moved her light blue hair over her shoulder to try and get it out of the way so she could lean back.

"Lots of things, really..." Syn paced her apartment floor while trying to decide how to start. "You know Vivio?"

"Your girlfriend?"

"Ex." Syn almost spat the word. "She's a whore."

"Excuse me?"

"She works in pornography." Syn stopped pacing and sighed out in annoyance. "She slept with... She had sex with other people while we were dating!"

Elena had to think about this information before continuing. "That sweet girl you were telling me about?"

"Yes, her! She cheated on me! Several times! While being filmed and paid for it!" Syn fell onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. "I'm...oh god, what if she had an STD?"

Elena felt her heart almost miss a beat at hearing those words. "Honey, I'm sure they check regularly for that."

"Mom, I trusted her!" Syn continued where she had left off, trying not to think about what she couldn't change at the moment. "I can't believe this; she's a porn star! Not just an actor, a STAR! She had almost ten magazines on the table and who knows what she wasn't showing!?"

The mother rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I'm still having trouble seeing that girl doing something like that..."

"Well she did. While we were dating. While lying to me about it!" Syn hit her bed. "She lied to me! I trusted her! She blew someone then kissed me!"

"Syn, honey, calm don't, don't cry-"

"I'm not crying!" Syn screamed loudly, throat throbbing from the abuse of the sobs. Her hand rubbed her eyes furiously, voice breaking from the hard breathing. "Mom, she cheated on me!"

Once again Elena shifted, thinking hard on what to say. "Honey, take a breath." She heard a hiccup and hard gasping mixed with pauses where her daughter had to swallow.

Syn pressed her pillow against her face and wiped it. "She should have told me. She should have just said 'hey, I'm a slut' when we met." Her eyes closed.

"Would you have still hit on her?" Elena asked after a small moment of silence.

"I was drunk and lonely! I - I don't know, what kind of question is that!?"

"The kind makes you look at yourself a little closer," The older woman spoke gently. "If she had told you earlier, and still taken you home and fed you so you wouldn't be alone, would you have still been her friend?"

Syn stared at the phone in disbelief. "Why are you defending her!?"

"But sweetheart, isn't that what you wanted me to do?" The words were asked in a soft motherly tone.

Growling, Syn closed her phone and tossed it across the room, watching it land on her couch. As she fell to lay face first on her bed, she pulled a pillow closer and ignored her mother's ring tone from across the room.. 'How could she?' Her mind thought as her body buried her face harder into the cushion. 'After everything, after I fell in love with her, after... God.' The music from her phone finally stopped. 'Every time she couldn't come over, when she was working... when I couldn't meet her for lunch, when she was updating her web page... What was it to her? She could screw anyone she wanted, why did she have to play me?' Rolling onto her back, she looked at the ceiling with an arm across her forehead. 'My first time...'

~**~

Vivio slowly climbed out of her bed and stumbled across her apartment. The world blurred around her but the hope that Syn was behind the knocking on her door gave her the energy to make it the rest of the way. Once she managed to reach the door, she leaned against the frame and unlocked it. Instead of a young blue-haired girl waiting to talk to her, she instead found a more mature looking woman looking at her with a mix of shock and pity. "Hey Allquall," Vivio mumbled, eyes closing and letting her head fall against the frame.

"Eyes, you look like hell, what happened!?" The woman quickly helped the blonde walk back to her bed, where she slowly crawled into it and laid face first. "Are you okay? You never came back for your checkup and when I asked about you, I was told you haven't even come to work all week or updated your web page. I was worried!"

"Ah." Vivio stayed silent after the short mumble but reluctantly allowed herself to be rolled over and sat up on the bed. "I want to lay down..."

"You need me to check on you." The woman sat down on the bed and started giving her a one-over. "How do you feel?"

"Dead."

"Be more specific please."

"Throwing up, my throat hurts, my eyes sting, my chest is tight, I don't care about anything."

Allquall looked at the girl a little closer. The normally shining gold hair was dull and lifeless, and instead of the faint sweet smell of perfume, she smelt of sweat and neglect. "Eyes, why didn't you come in? Your cold got worse, I'm certain you have the flu now. Didn't you get pills to prevent that?" Vivio looked away. "Are you eating okay?"

"I'd just throw it up."

"Are you taking care of yourself? When did you last shower and change your sheets? You need to stay clean; you will feel better."

Vivio shrugged. "I dunno..." The hands keeping her up left and she laid back down on the bed, cheek on her pillow. "I don't really care."

"What's wrong with you?" The woman asked softly. "I've never once seen you not smiling and bouncing off the walls."

Staying quiet a moment, Vivio finally opened her eyes again and looked up at the woman. "Syn left me... After that I... I just got sick." She once again looked away and faced her pillow, fighting back the urge to cry again.

"You can't not take care of yourself because your girlfriend left you. If you don't get better you'll be in trouble."

"I know but...I don't know..."

Allquall stood up and tucked the girl in. "I'm going to prescribe you something and get your pharmacist to deliver it. She's your friend right?" She got a small nod. "Okay, I'll do that... Vivio, take a shower, you smell like ten kinda of ass." She got a small smile, but it was enough for her. "Really. I'll be back tomorrow to check up on you. May I leave your door unlocked for a few hours?"

"Yes."

"Okay, Angel will be by shortly. If she can't, I'll take it to you."

"...Thank you." For the first time in a few days, Vivio felt as if laying in bed and dying wasn't the only solution to how she felt at that moment.

~**~

Syn felt a small shake on her shoulder and jerked slightly in shock, blinking and turning to the side to see Riyuu looking at her oddly. "Huh?"

"You're spacing out again," the girl told her in a matter-of-fact tone. "You've been like that the past few days, what's up?" Her accented voice came casually while she stirred the dish in front of herself. "Are you having problems?"

"Yes." Syn sighed and went on autopilot, once again disregarding the recipe she was supposed to stick to and going by what she wanted to add to the meal she was preparing. "Girlfriend issues."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it works out okay."

"Already broke up." Syn declared her task done and walked away to plate it before anymore questions could be asked. "Wan, order up." She took the next ticket and went about making it along with one more dish on the side. 'I wish I could just go a day without having to think about this crap again.' Her mind went off again as she moved around, purposely trying to avoid the pity looks she was getting from her boss. 'It's already been a week and two days for crying out loud.' While her current orders were cooking, she stared at the food and thought to pass the time. 'She's probably with some guy right now, getting a load on her face.' The bitter thought both pleased her and pissed her off at the same time, leaving her with a knot in her stomach. 'Bastard touching my girlfriend...' Her motions got rougher while tossing the contents of a skillet around. 'I have have half a mind to... damnit Syn, stop thinking about it!'

The girl angrily kicked the bottom of the stove and huffed out. "I thought I saw a bug," she spoke out, voice clearly mad. "It wasn't, so we're okay." She closed her eyes and took a heavy breath, images of Vivio having sex with faceless people invading her against her will. 'Damn it! Why am I so mad!?'

"Syn," Wan's voice came, snapping the girl back to the present. "I have a customer out here who would like to speak with you."

"With me?" Syn tried to figure out who she knew that would request to see her. "A girl?"

"A guy."

Syn wiped her hands and walked out along with Wan, being left alone at a table where a tanned man was looking at her. "Miss," he began. "Did you prepare the meal I just had?"

Looking down at the mostly cleared plate, Syn nodded. "I did."

"I heard that this place recently hired a new chef and that the food here was suddenly a lot better. The newspaper even reported complaints about people parking next door because your parking lot was full."

"Well... We have been busy lately." Syn tried to think where this was heading.

"Miss, My name is Tempest, I own The Shiny Sword downtown. I would like to hire you as my new chef."

Syn blinked again. "Wait, the really fancy place?"

"Yes, Miss." He nodded. "I could offer you three times what your pay would be here, and even creative liberty on creating new dishes."

"Sold." Syn stated before the man could even start his next sentence. "When can I start?"

"Tomorrow."

"What time?"

"One PM to nine PM." He stood and shook the girl's hand. "I look forward to it."

"Me too," Syn smiled and walked back to the kitchen. 'Finally! Something good in my life!' She looked at both Wan and Riyuu, who had questioning expressions. "Sorry girls, I just got hired on at another restaurant because I kept changing your recipes." The disappointed looks on their faces made her soften just a little. "I'll leave my changes with you, too." She got smiles and a few words of encouragement, and even a promise for a good reference if they called.

With a grin, Syn started finishing the day. 'I can't wait to tell-' Her hands stopped, hovering above what she was reaching for. '... Like she would care.'

~**~

Vivio smiled at the camera pointing to her bed and moved her hand back from the record button on it. "Hello, everyone," she greeted with her normal opening. "I'm sure a few of you are looking at your screen right now and thinking: 'A week of no updates and all we get is a video diary?'... Well, sorry, but yes for now..." She sniffed and laid her cheek back on her pillow, pulling the covers up to her neck. Her hair was still a little messy and her face was still stained a splash of red from her sickness. "I have the flu it seems."

After pulling her sheets up to cover her mouth, she let out a cough that she had been trying to repress. "I'm doing better, but I still can't get out of bed. I'd love to take some pictures or something for everyone but...Yeah, I'm really sorry. I know you pay for my site, and I should have some type of spare pictures in case of emergencies but... I never thought about doing that before. To make up for it, I promise I'll do a video every day for a week."

The sick girl sniffed again and exhaled a ragged breath. "Well, for the past week and some days, I haven't done much to really tell you about my life... I've stayed in bed for most of it... and..." She closed her eyes. "Remember my girlfriend? She found out about my job... No, it didn't go well... She dumped me and I haven't heard from her since. I know it is my fault for not telling her, but..." Again she sighed. "I won't talk about that anymore. I'm feeling a lot better than I did since I first fell ill, so I'm going to try and start updating the page in a day or two. Please send me emails if you have any ideas on what you would like to see done. I'm sorry again for the lack of updates."

Reaching down to the floor, Vivio picked up a sheet of paper. "I couldn't sit at my desk long enough to print out all the emails I wanted to reply to, so I just wrote down what I remembered. I'm sorry if it's not your exact question." clearing her throat, she began. "First, another one that has been asked many, many times. What fetishes do I have? Not many. I like it when the person I'm with moans, I'm not sure why. Besides that... I like tight clothes. I wouldn't really say 'bondage gear' but something like that. Latex, too-tight zipped-up leather, and...well, being gagged. Please, don't ask."

Offering a smile, she felt her spirits lift when she thought about all of her fans spazzing out over that information. "Next, I wrote... I can't read it, hahaha." Her giggle calmed her down and she squinted. "I need to learn how to write better... oh, this one! I laughed so hard!" Her lips stayed in a smile. "Someone asked what I saw my male co-workers eat to "Sweeten the load" so to say." She giggled again and shook her head as best she could. "Lots of things, but mainly there is a little packet that they put in their drinks that supposed to make it taste sweet. I'm sure people will ask so I'll answer: No it doesn't work. Honestly, I'd be scared out of my mind if I was going down on a guy and got a mouthful of strawberry flavored splooge. I don't know what I would think!"

"I got a few questions not about work, and I want to spend some time on these. Let's see, we have... My favorite food? Fajitas." Her gave a small bittersweet smile at a memory. "Also, what is my favorite movie? I'm not really sure on that one, so many good ones. I like the new comic-book movies that are coming out lately, so I'll just say that genre is my favorite." Sniffing again, she covered her mouth and coughed. "Someone else asked what I do in my spare time. That's easy, I watch a lot of movies, but I read the most. I have some reading glasses that I wear, I'll take a picture in them sometime."

She sniffed yet again and looked back at her list. "Let's see...Am I satisfied with my life? Honestly... Yes and no. As far as my general life is concerned, I am happy. I have a lot of loyal fans, who send me kind emails, I am starting to get enough money to eat a little better, and all-in-all it's pretty good. Besides that... I'm not really happy with my love life... I'm still..." She shook her head. "I don't want to ruin this by crying about my ex-girlfriend. I'm going to move on, okay?"

Vivio skimmed her paper. "What do I do to relax? Reading relaxes me, but so does eating. I love chocolate. Chocolate is salvation. Other than that, I'd kill for a massage to relax me, but that's really expensive....let's see... If I could change anything in my life, what would it be?" She gave the camera a gentle smile. "I'd have been more honest with her...Okay, I'm starting to ramble. I'll upload this after I take a small nap. I hope everyone out there is having fun. Remember, my new movie is coming out this Friday, so pick it up okay? Please send in the comments and vote for me for the reason you bought it okay?" She winked and blew a kiss. "This is Eyes, signing off."

The camera was cut off and Vivio fell back into her pillow. 'I hope I was cheerful enough...' A knock on her door informed her that her friend Angel had stopped by again to check up on her and she pushed herself up and out of bed to go answer the door.

~**~

Vivio stepped out of the changing room and looked around the large gymnasium that her company provided membership with. One finger went to the hem of the leotard she was wearing and straightened out a small twist in it before she walked over to a warm up area. Her hair was bound in a side-up ponytail instead of her normal flowing-with-ribbons and her body was covered skin-tight by the one-piece swimsuit looking clothing. The leotard was bright pink with erratic white triangle designs on it, making her draw attention from the people around. Once she was on a mat she slowly slid her legs apart and sank down into a horizontal splits position. Once all the way down she bent over to her left to try and touch her toes before repeating the motion on the right. As the routine was progressed, she found her mind wandering yet again, eyes glazing slightly as she went on muscle memory to finish the stretching.

'It doesn't feel like it's been so long,' Her mind thought to herself as she moved to stretch her other side again. 'Every time I feel like I'm starting to get over all of this I just fall back into a slump. If I wasn't required to do this for work I'd definitely be at home in bed... I can't believe Allquall demanded that I get out of my house...' Her nose finally touched her leg with no discomfort and once she realized that she could go both ways easily, she stood up and began to go through her second round of warm ups. ' I just wish Syn would have let me explain better... Maybe I should call her...' Her mind pondered the possibility of Syn answering the phone as she walked over to one of the many poles on a section of the floor to begin her strip aerobics routine.

With one small hop she grabbed the pole and pulled herself up effortlessly, holding herself on it while moving her legs straight out in front of herself to hold there. 'Maybe I should just accept it and move on... like that's an easy thing to do.' Closing her eyes, she tried to focus on her arms supporting her weight and waited until she felt like they were going to give before swinging around to land on the ground just long enough to recoup and go back up the pole. This time she hooked her legs around it and leaned her body back so it was even with the ground. 'Syn... Why wouldn't you just let me talk to you? Why did you have to leave me...' Her body slid lightly, making her force herself to focus harder, bending her body and trying to touch her nose to the pole without aiding herself with her hands.

"You could do some really interesting scenes if you could bend down another few inches." The sudden words made Vivio falter, legs losing their strength and causing her to fall almost two feet to the floor and land on the soft padding. "Hey there, Eyes." The voice was matched to the body of the actor known as Spacebrotha and Vivio frowned up at him. "Oh come on, that was a good one." He offered his hand to the girl and helped her to her feet. "Where have you been lately- and holy hell, you pierced your nipples!"

Vivio crossed her arms over her chest and glared. "I didn't think you'd stare at my breasts so suddenly."

"Well you're wearing a skin-tight leotard and your headlights are on." He moved Vivio's hands from her chest and looked at the imprints on the fabric. "I can not believe this. What did they promise you? A pay raise? More scenes? It must be something big- they've been trying to get you to do this for at least a year. And when you say no, a snowball has a better chance in hell than anyone does in getting you to change your mind."

The blonde looked to the side and stayed silent a moment before answering. "Don't read too much into it, okay? They didn't give me anything for it."

"Then why? You were always so strongly opposed to this?" Space followed his friend when she pulled her hands back gently and started walking to the side of the gym.

"I dunno..." The lame reply didn't make the questioning look go away so she sighed and continued quickly. "Syn said she liked it, okay? There."

"Syn? Oh, that girl! Wow, she must be something special, huh?"

Vivio looked away again and answered with a soft voice. "She really is, yeah..."

"...Something wrong?"

"...We broke up. I'm... I'm not really taking it well." Saying the words alone made her lower lip start to quiver. "It's been over a week and... and I still..." Her pace picked up to a brisk walk, heading toward an empty side of the gym with benches. Just before she made it the first small sob came, making her cover her mouth and sit down quickly. Bending over, she tried to collect herself while her friend sat next to her and gave her a small pat on the back. "It's so weird," Vivio finally spoke again, her words wavering ever so slightly. "I'll be fine one moment and the next I just completely break down... I... I should be getting better, but every time... every time, my chest gets tight... it's so hard to breathe..."

"...Yeah." Space lightly rubbed the girl's back, giving her a moment to try and calm down before talking some more. "First love... fell hard, huh?" He got a small nod. "I take it she didn't like your job?"

"She wouldn't even let me explain!" The emotions came back all at once, mixing anger with sadness. "She should have listened!" Looking over at her friend, she ignored the warm feeling of tears freely coming from her eyes. "Why didn't she listen to me?"

The man thought about his reply a moment before speaking once more. "Vivio, what we do is very difficult to understand. The people who aren't in the industry don't see it the same way we do. Telling your girlfriend that you have sex with other people could never go over well."

"But I thought-"

"That she would understand because you love her, right?" The sad look her got told him that he had guessed right. "Yeah, I thought the same thing."

"...How did you and your wife finally solve the problem?"

"We each had to understand each other... Let me ask you something, what would you think about...Syn, right?" He got another nod. "How would you feel about Syn having sex with a guy?"

"...Honestly?"

"Yes."

"Turned on."

Space grinned at her. "Let me rephrase that. How would you feel if you caught Syn having sex with a guy when she told you she was going to be somewhere else?"

Vivio opened her mouth to reply but after a few seconds she closed it again. Her hands rubbed together nervously as she though about the question more before she gave her answer. "I'd... feel really hurt. Angry, mad, I'd want to... really hurt them."

"You see, that's the difference between on the set and off of it. Even if you can see her in a sexual way and think nothing of it, there is still that line that -once crossed- changes the emotions drastically, right?"

"Mmnn." the girl hummed, wiping her eyes.

"Normal people don't distinguish between those situations. You having sex on the set doesn't matter, you still had sex with other people."

"Yeah but-"

"But nothing. You have to see it the way she did, Vivio. Think about it carefully. Your understanding and hers are different, how did she see you when you told her?"

"Like... a whore." Vivio's words were dropped to a whisper. "She didn't understand the emotional aspect of it at all. I wasn't cheating on her, I-"

"In your eyes."

Vivio buried her face into her palms and stayed silent for a long while. Finally she moved her fingers so she could see again and looked back over at her friend. "I understand, but at the same time I don't... I know what you mean, but I also know that to me it didn't mean anything... but imagining her having sex with someone else..." she shook her head. "It's both erotic and infuriating at the same time... God I really am a slut..."

"No, you're just confused emotionally." Space scratched his head while trying to better word what he was thinking. "You can clearly distinguish Syn having sex as erotic and as cheating, right?" Yet another nod allowed him to continue. "So if you asked her to do it so you could record it, how would it be?"

"Erotic. Kinky."

"Because it was known by both of you that it would be done for that reason. Now, if you didn't agree or approve of it...?"

"...Painful, heart breaking." The girl looked down at the floor. "Which is why she was upset... I don't even have to try and explain it, I betrayed her trust...."

"...Yeah."

"So that's why..." Vivio felt her throat tighten again and knew a fresh set of tears would soon follow. "Can you take me to get some fresh air? Please?"

"Sure." Standing, he helped the shaking girl to her feet and put an arm around her, trying to hide her from embarrassment as they walked to a side door while she cried against him.

~~**~~

A/N: I have revised this section a lot from how it was originally written. I'd love to hear your ideas and thoughts about this story so far. Just because it's already written dosent' mean I won't change things or re-write some based on thoughts of my readers. If you have something to say, feel free to review, I'll listen. Also, thank you to DezoPenguin for helping me correct some things in this chapter, as well as pointing out some typos and weird phrasings.