A/N: Lucky number 7. A brief little snippet of Mark coming to some conclusions and more importantly closure. I was on the fence about 8 or 10 chapters but I think 8 is all this little gem can handle before it becomes redundant. And, to be honest, before it overpowers me and I end up abandoning it. So, it's this chapter and then an epilogue and that's it.

Oh, and I don't go with the '89-90 time period the movie suggest, I figure maybe RENT (the stage version) is set at least '92-'93 somewhere in there. So, that's were I work from as for what year this takes place- it would be '98 ish. So, therefore, Roger was born in 1970 if him and Mark are the same age. My math is pure crap though, so just roll with the punches.

I own Dr. Sutcliffe but nothing else.

XXX

" I never went to his funeral." Mark says out of the blue at one of his sessions with Dr. Sutcliffe. It's about a year since Roger died; the anniversary is approaching fast and this thought dawns on Mark out of the blue.

"Whose? Roger's?"They'd been talking about the up coming day but had moved away briefly.

"Yeah. I couldn't make myself. I made it April's, to Angel's, to Mimi's and to Collin's . But not the one man who I considered my brother in all but blood. I couldn't make his. I think I sat in the old loft the whole time. I...don't remember much between Roger dying and about a week afterwards when I first started living at Maureen and Joanne's. It's like he was there one week, then there is a week of blank, and the next thing I know, I'm living with my ex-girlfriend and the female lawyer she left me for, and AIDS has destroyed the world I worked so hard to build up. And then from there, I started to really loose it."

"That happens to a lot of people when they go through some sort of trauma- they blank part of their memories out. In a few years, it's likely you won't remember much of the past year." The good doctor dashes something down on a note pad. This used to make Mark uncomfortable but now he hardly notices it.

"That's just it...I don't wanna forget this year. I feel like it will ultimately make me better. Or something new-agey like that."

"Trials and tribulations do build character. But, you can't stop your mind from trying to protect you. But, weren't you telling me you film?"

"Yeah. Well, not as much any more but occasionally, yeah."

"Then make a film about all this. I know from experience that what your went through, and still go through, is common. Maybe you took escape to an extreme but you aren't the only one. Maybe if you made a film about this experience, you'd help yourself and others along the way."

Mark considers this for a while, as he and Dr. Sutcliffe sit in silence. "Where do I start?" He murmurs, and doesn't realize he's spoken until she answers.

"Just start. You can always edit it later."

Mark nods. The hour is almost up. He makes an appointment for the next month, which is already a sign he's healing. When he first started, he came once a week, sometimes twice.

XXX

The day of the anniversary, Mark wakes up incredibly early. He realizes, as he stretches out aching muscles, that sleeping on a couch is no place for a 28 year old. He has to find a job- or sell a film or something- and get a place soon. The loft, he's realized, if it is still available, just holds too many memories. Not that he wants to forget that chapter in his life- it lasted for nearly ten years for crying out loud. But shelve it away in his memories and start to form a life as Mark Cohen- dude in his late 20s with some past baggage that doesn't weigh him down and is a fully functioning human being.

So, he realizes he needs personal closure. And the film Dr. Sutcliffe suggested will be one step. But he realizes there is one more thing he needs to do. Taking a deep breath, he grabs his camera and heads out. He's gotten past the point of leaving notes- he's built up enough of a trust with Maureen and Joanne that he won't go running off to random parts of New York unannounced again.

He wanders to the cemetery. Toward the very back, he finds his friends. He briefly touches April's grave- even in death she scares him a little. Then Angel's – he lingers there for a minute. Then Collins' and Mimi. Finally Roger.

He stares at the headstone. This is honestly the first time he's seen it.

Roger Davis

1970-1997

Found his song and his glory

Mark nods in approval. Maureen and Joanne and Benny did fine coming up with what to say.

He winds up the camera, and murmuring an apology, turns the granite slab across from him into a makeshift tripod. The filming will be a little sideways but he can edit that so much easier now. Computers have advanced so much from when Collins pulled his little MIT stunt. Joanne has agreed to let him use hers to edit his new film. She thinks it's a great idea.

Sitting down, he talks like the headstone is just a shut door between the two men.

"Hey, man. I hope you don't mind, but I'm filming this little meeting. I've kinda got a plan for a film, based on my twisted mind. You were probably really pissed at me for not going to your funeral...maybe not though. You weren't too keen on them either. But if you are pissed at me, I bet it's because of that shit I pulled in Brooklyn. I can almost hear you now- 'Mark, you fucker. You saw what drugs did to me, why would you do them now?' and there would probably be a punch to accompany that statement. Or five. I would have deserved that. Maybe that's why you were the one strangling me during my bad trip. I..I'm sorry. I did the exact thing I was so pissed at you for. I ran. I probably would have kept running too if I hadn't fallen so flat on my face there." Mark picks up the camera and winds it again, and replaces it. "So...I'm still staying at Joanne's place. And yeah, it's weird still. But, I'm 28 now. So, it's time for me to grow up. And part of that involves being honest with myself and others. Even if that other person isn't still alive. I ...miss you. I detached all those years because I was afraid to miss you. But, you've been my best friend since we were 10. I miss Collins and Mimi and Angel and even April like hell but you going...man that did me in. And, truth be told, it's probably always going to hurt. God-Dammit, I miss you." Mark lays his head against the stone. He expects to cry but he doesn't. He expects to be angry but he isn't. There just is an overwhelming since of peace. And he hears, almost as if the songwriter is standing next to him, Roger's words on the day of Mimi's funeral … "tears won't bring her back." And tears and empty grieving and self distruction really wouldn't do Mark any good. It dawns on him that while the pain will always be there, and he will always miss Roger- his partner in crime, his polar opposite, his best friend and brother- and the rest of his friends too, he will be fine with out them. He is allowed to move on. And he will, starting that very day.

As he sits on his knees, looking across the row of graves, he feels suddenly lighter. Like a burden has been lifted. He smiles a little and turns off the camera. He says his good byes and walks out of the cemetery, smiling, truly smiling, for the first time in years.

XXX

Alright. That's that. Sort of. There is an epilogue coming ( I like even numbers too much to end at 7 chapters) But, I told you I would pull Mark up and over. And I have.