Chapter 1

Karachna woke to a large object smashing into the back of his head. He looked up to find himself in the middle of a pile of flaming wreckage, twisted and bent from a previous explosion. He was not surprised to realise his razorback, Duos Centum Quod Quinquaginta Duodeviginti Vicis Ego Semotus Ut Diripio Ex Vestri Splendidus, had exploded yet again. This time he really had to replace those lascannon power cell fans.

He slowly got up as his other senses came back to him. He retrieved his bionic arm with his plasma pistol still clenched in his fist and popped it back into place, the gyro-stabilisers regaining the feel of gravity and briefly squeezing the trigger, causing the plasma pistol to fire a fairly large bolt of plasma through a thick sheet of ceramite. This was met with a chitter of excruciating pain from the other side of the sheet. Now it came back to him. He had been on his way to the 96th claw beetle scouring on Corathia 5 when he had smacked one of his honour guard for making an insulting comment about his mother's sister's third cousin's barber's wife's uncle twice removed. Unfortunately at this point the razorback went over a bump, propelling the unsuspecting honour guard a foot into the air shortly before Karachna hit him and making it easier for Karachna's punch to drive straight into his groin and propel him across the Razorback and into the power cell, detonating it. Now he thought about it the power cell had been off so how it had exploded he had no idea. He would have to have the techmarines look into it.

He walked round the ceramite to find his thunder hammer lying on the floor with a pair of steaming jaws still attached. He picked up the thunder hammer, flicked off the remains of what he now realised must have been a claw beetle scout and holstered the plasma pistol. He decided to move further into the forest to see where, and when, the hell he was.

After finding a suitably large tree Karachna fired his jump-pack and launched himself into the lower branches. He scaled the tree by jumping from branch to branch or if not finding any branches within reach, slamming his thunder hammer (with the disruption field on) sideways into the tree trunk, turning it off, and using it as another branch. When he finally reached the top he checked his surroundings for any signs of his chapter. After checking everywhere else he turned around to find a solid wall of fungus stretching for miles above his head.

"How the bloody hell didn't I spot that?" he remarked under his breath while slowly climbing back down towards ground level. The giant block of fungus was in fact a claw beetle nest, filled with many ravenous, meat-eating beetles and their larvae. Upon reaching the bottom, Karachna carefully shuffled his way along the bottom of the tree remembering to only move one leg at a time as claw beetle vision was based upon the movement of multiple limbs (it is also based on paradoxes, but as Karachna wasn't thinking of any at the time, that wasn't important). Upon reaching the nest wall Karachna slowly withdrew his thunder hammer and swung it above his head, splatting it down upon a claw beetle lord the size of a land raider. This was a bad move as not only did it attract the lord's attention, but it attracted the attention of every claw beetle within a five mile area. The claw beetle lord reared up and dived onto Karachna, jaws stretched wide, swallowing him whole and plunging him into its stomach filled with extremely corrosive acid.

"Not the best of days." Said Karachna, pushing away a half digested marine corpse.

Sensing the claw beetle lord had stopped moving, Karachna flicked off the safety on his plasma pistol. Knowing that a flaming exit from their leader's stomach would scare the living shit out of anybody, let alone a half feral animal, he blasted three shots in random directions then removed his thunder hammer and ripped his way out. While the claw beetles fled in terror, Karachna made a swift turn in what he thought was the direction of the exit to find it wasn't him they were running from. His 'Dynamic Entry' (or to be more accurate, 'Exit') had set fire to the one, spindly, support holding up the five mile nest. Breaking out wouldn't help either as his thunder hammer would only set fire to more of the building, making it collapse quicker. He had about 60 seconds to get out. 30 after the calculations. And 29 after thinking those two sentences. He did thing the only thing he knew how to do well. He fired his jump pack, sending him flying towards the ceiling, and breaking the support sending the ceiling flying towards him. At the last minute he held his thunder hammer above his head, turned it on, and bored his way through the ceiling at fifty miles an hour. He flew 200 feet into the air and hurtled towards what (due to the many explosions) looked like the front line. The thousands of claw beetles had fled into (almost) an entire chapter and had the living crap beaten out of them with hellfire rounds. Karachna landed perfectly in the middle of the front line, slammed his foot into the last living claw beetle and jumped off to meet the first captain.

"Welcome Sir" managed the captain at last, "I trust all went well? I mean this kind of thing seems to happen every time!"

"Oh, shut the fuck up." murmured Karachna, shortly before punching the captain squarely in the face, striding off to his waiting thunderhawk and slamming his fist into the hatch close button.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S Yes the razorbacks name does mean the two hundred and fifty third time i remover that pillow from your spleen. because it has been. and sorry for taking so long to update. been asleep.