Chapter 3
Karachna went down to the medical bay. He decided it was the best course of action after losing his lower right leg and suffering third degree burns. He turned the corner to meet an extremely long line. From the look of the people queuing it seemed to be the line for the apothecarion. Very impressive since the apothecarion itself was three miles further down the ship. It seemed that almost two thirds of the patients had extreme burns as well. Hardly surprising as 'The First Great Balloon Massacre' mainly consisted of Charon running round the decks of the ship with his flamers set to 'Crispy Fried Duck'. He must have taken the entire hold's supply of promethium with him as apparently there wasn't a drop left.
"I'll have to give him a good kicking." Thought Karachna shortly before realising (again) that his leg was missing. He suddenly remembered how that had happened. He had just 'encountered' Charon when Sergio came round the corner at high speed. He said he had been running ahead of Charon to warn people he was coming, when Charon had taken a corner that Sergio hadn't expected him to take. He was now running behind Charon to help take care of the casualties. Less than three seconds after saying this, Sergio's missile launcher misfired, removing Karachna's leg. It would probably take a while before Charon came back from the fortress depths, but when he did, boy was he in for a kicking.
Karachna opened his eyes to find the Apothecarion's ceiling staring back at him. Who had thrown those eyes up there he had no idea. From the looks of his surroundings he must have tried to escape again. Not because he was bored or anything like that, it was just that he wanted to get out of here before the Head Apothecary found him. He looked down at his new bionic leg to find half the chapter had carved their names into it with a power scalpel. That wouldn't end well for them. He attempted to sit up, failed miserably, and collapsed onto his pillow to find he had moved up his bed a little and fell off the end. He fell onto the hard concrete floor and slammed his head into the ground. He rolled over and tried to pull himself up with his bedcovers. All this managed to do was cause his thunder hammer to slip off of the bed and land onto his forehead, causing him to black out. Everyone else in the apothecarion heard the quickest ever 'HOLY FUCK!' in the galaxy's history.
Karachna rolled over. Three weeks since the accident with the thunder hammer and his head still hurt. He heard a faint popping noise and looked up to find an elder warp spider, white with gold trim and a dark blue helmet. He seemed to be furious with his warp pack.
"Oh for fucks sake..." he moaned, "...not another bloody hallucination." He reached for his thunder hammer and realised that the apothecary had taken it away to stop him getting injured again.
"Well while you are here you'd better tell me what you're here for before I come to my senses again."
"What the hell are you on about..." started the warp spider, "...oh right... hallucination." There was a sudden beep and the warp spider repeatedly jabbed his finger onto the console on his arm. He disappeared with a faint pop and Karachna rolled over again. 'Screw it...' he thought, '...I'm getting out of here.' He then rolled over, grabbed his armour and set off to find the nearest apothecary.
After a short search he found a small group of apothecaries having their lunch break. Karachna walked up and grabbed one of their donuts, watching the look on their faces when they realised he wasn't another apothecary. He slammed his bionic fist into the bollocks of the first marine to have looked up and ignored his squeals of pain as he rolled on the floor. He grabbed the next one by the throat and asked him where 'the bloody hell was his armour'. The apothecary replied by cowering away from Karachna (fairly difficult when he was holding him) and pointing in the general direction of a cupboard with multiple locks. Karachna prised the door open and saw his shining thunder hammer and plasma pistol, hanging on the rack. He lifted them up and looked at the inscriptions, 'Karachna's Strength' on the thunder hammer and 'Karachna's Temper' on the plasma pistol. About right seeing that Karachna's temper also went white hot and exploded quite often. He slipped them into the usual places, pistol on his hip and hammer on his back, and strode out of the room while the apothecaries tended to their workmate's crushed bollocks.