Author's Note: Whee, part two. Not like anyone cares but me.
Disclaimer: I don't own Street Fighter.
Street Fighter Beta
Part 2
Ryu and his little brat of a brother Shun trotted through the deserted, dirty streets of Kabuki town, looking high and low for the location of the street-fighting tournament they'd caught wind of. Ken had broken from the group earlier, stating he had to hit the ladies room to 'freshen up' before the tournament. Ryu and Shun were just grateful he'd gone and so didn't ask any questions (not like they wanted to know either way). As the search continued, Shun lost patience and ran forward to kick an empty can, which bounced up the road with loud clangs.
"Hey!" Ryu said sharply. "That is a five cents returnable! Gimme that!" He snatched up the abused can, crushed it in one fist, and stuffed it into his pocket. Shun raised a brow at his brother's miserly antics.
"Man, you're cheap."
"Hush." Ryu gave him a look. "Now go look in the gutters for more."
Three large thugs suddenly appeared before the duo. Ryu glared at Shun.
"I said find cans, not hobos!"
"This isn't my fault!"
The thugs leapt forward and attacked, Ryu and Shun obligingly reciprocating. And in case you couldn't understand what I just said, they fought back.
"Horray, brotherly violence! This is so healthy!!" Shun sang, smacking his thug around like a pimp with his whore, a birthday-boy with his piñata, a- okay, you get the picture, he's beatin' the hell outta this guy. Ryu quickly intervened as his brother became too violent and clearly enjoying the pain he was causing the bitch- I mean thug.
"Shun!" Ryu stepped forward, snatched Shun up, and flipped him over his knee. "DON'T – TREAT – PEOPLE – LIKE – THAT!!" He shouted, punctuating each shout with a resounding smack on Shun's deserving rump. Finally he placed him back on his feet and stared sternly into his face. "Now go think about what you just did!" There was a pause. "And find me some more cans while you're at it."
"Y…yes, big brother," Shun agreed, sniffling and tottering off in search of cans. As Ryu watched him go, a figure appeared behind him. Ryu turned his head and blinked.
"Hello, who are- CAMEL TOE!!"
"Nice to meet you, too," Chun-Li replied, narrowing her eyes.
-Elsewhere in Kabuki Town-
Elsewhere in Kabuki Town, Sakura had finally ditched her pathetic friend and was wandering the dangerous town all on her lonesome (she's an idiot). At a loss, she finally entered a dingy bar, where she asked the bartender if he knew the location of the street-fighting tournament.
"Hey, we'll show ya, girly," a trio of perverts snickered, sauntering up behind her. "Don't worry, come with us!"
Sakura stared at the pedophiles incredulously for several long moments.
"I hope to God Dateline with Chris Hanson is in here somewhere," she said finally.
"Nope, but you get the next best thing!" A voice called out of thin air. "ME!" The nearby phone-booth door crashed open, and Ken somersaulted out, pummeling the perverts with his righteous fists of fury. When it was all over, he straightened and smirked down at them. "Have a seat, please."
-At the Tournament-
Meanwhile, Chun-Li had led Ryu and Shun to the location of the tournament, and the three of them, along with Wallace but he doesn't really matter because he's a wimp, had entered a large, dilapidated building.
"I'm Chun-Li," the bun-headed Asian introduced herself, "and I'm from- for heaven's sake, will you please stop staring at my crotch?"
"It's not a good idea," Wallace whispered, leaning close to Ryu. "You'll go blind."
"He will not!" Chun-Li snapped, rolling her eyes and stalking forward onto a rather rickety-looking elevator. "Men…can't handle spandex pants…" The two men and one child entered the elevator as well, and after a moment, it began to rise with many groans and shrieks.
"Oh, Wallace, control yourself!" Chun-Li sighed, glaring down at her partner, who lay on the floor of the elevator curled in fetal position, groaning and shrieking in terror.
"Can't!" He choked out. "Scared of…elevators! Mommy, help!" He broke into sobs and covered his eyes. As Shun crept close and began poking him, Chun-Li decided to change the subject.
"So…you're fighting, too?" She asked Ryu, who shook his head.
"Um…no."
"What, you're just a spectator?"
"…More like a cheer-leader," Ryu muttered under his breath.
"Pardon?"
"…Forget it."
The ancient elevator finally ground to a halt at the top floor of the building, and the four of them filed out (well, Ryu and Chun-Li had to drag Wallace out by his ankles, but they got out alright!). As they walked down the hall and entered a cavernous, dark room, lights suddenly snapped on, illuminating the darkness and focusing right on…
Chun-Li's crotch.
"Okay, that's twice now!" Ryu complained, shielding Shun's eyes from the psyche-damaging sight. "Can't you do anything about it?"
"Leave me alone, I've tried!!" Chun-Li growled, dancing out of the spotlight's range.
Outside the building, Ken led Sakura to the site, following Ryu's manly scent like a hound dog after a coon.
"Hey, what's the deal?" Sakura asked, screeching to a halt when Ken led her into an empty lot. She stared at him uneasily. "You…you're not planning on raping me back here, are you?"
"Bitch, please," Ken drawled, rolling his eyes. "Maybe if you were male."
"Oh thank God you're a fairy-"
Back inside the building, recognizable fighters like Vega (and I don't know the other's name, guess he's not that recognizable, huh?) battled it out on a large chunk of rock that served as an arena illuminated by spotlights, while spectators stood at the sidelines, cheering and booing to their heart's content. The camera spun around to show-
"What the…will you get OUT of there?!" Chun-Li smacked the camera (and camera-men) away from her crotch and scowled. "That is three times! Three! I'm keeping count from now on!"
"Here, I'll write it down for you!" Ryu offered, pulling out a pad of paper and jotting it down. "Three…crotch shots…so far."
"Gee, thanks." Chun-Li's voice dripped with sarcasm.
"Welkies." Ryu stowed the pad of paper away and winked at her.
In the arena, Vega had triumphed as the victor of the match, mauling the other fighter viciously with his hand-claw thing. Chun-Li gasped in horror and looked away.
"Ryu, make sure to cover Shun's-"
"You see that, Shun, how he goes for the jugular like that?" Ryu was telling his brother, leaning close and pointing at the blood-bath taking place in the arena. "Now that's an athlete."
"Cool!!"
"…Should NOT have asked…" Chun-Li sighed and gave up.
As the now blood-covered Vega exited the arena and the rest of his opponent was hosed off the floor, another warrior entered the stage, itching for a fight. It was Zangief (I believe), the huge, hairy ox of a man, who threw back his head and laughed uproariously when Shun stepped forward as his opponent.
"Wha…you told me you had to go pee!!" Ryu barked at him from the sidelines. "You'd better win or you owe me one million cans!!"
"Way to cheer me on, brother." Shun rolled his eyes, then launched himself at Zangief. The fight had begun.
"Hey, hey, I'm here!" Ken sang as he finally arrived. "Alright, I'm just in time to see some hot man-on-man action!" He grinned, looked at the arena, and his grin immediately committed suicide. "What the…it's just that brat Shun and some huge, hairy ox! Booo-ring!" He slumped down on the ground and began to pout.
The battle between the titan and dwarf raged on. At one point Zangief gained the upper hand, and Ken was quick to voice his preference.
"Yeaaah! Go, man, beat his bratty ass! Kill him!!" Ryu shot him a scathing glare. "…I mean go Shun!" Ken sat back down.
As Shun began to lose the match, a dark, heavy air surrounded him, stifling everyone's breath and causing a sense of foreboding. It was…the Dark Hadou! But even with that forbidden power, Shun still continued to lose, until finally Ryu could stand it no more. Leaping into the arena, he ran forward and gave Zangief a mighty kick, throwing him off his brother and saving him from harm.
"Bro…ther…" Shun whispered, gazing up in adoration.
"One million cans." Ryu told him levelly. "Get crackin'."
"I hate you."
"Where are your manners? I'm your elder brother," Ryu lectured. "It's, 'I hate you, please.'. Now- GAAHH!!"
Ryu was suddenly ambushed from behind by Zangief, who'd gotten back to his feet and was now taking out his pent-up anger on Ryu, which was not only quite unhealthy for his inner self but not really fair to Ryu either.
"Do…do you want me to help you?" Shun croaked in confusion, still on the ground. "Or…go look for cans?"
"What do you think?!" Ryu sputtered, still struggling to fight off Zangief.
"I think I'll use the Dark Hadou again. Whee!" Shun was once again surrounded by darkness, the gravity around him distorting from the evil power. Zangief was quickly hypnotized by the light, and like a big, stupid bug, wandered over and began laying the smack-down once again on Shun.
"Good Lord, what is this, the tag-team of shame?" Ryu growled and staggered back to his feet. "Hold on, Shun, I'll save you…" He began using the Dark Hadou as well, his breath deepening, his eyes glowing red, and a few other sinister side-effects occurring.
"Okay," Chun-Li finally spoke up from the sidelines, "this Dark Hadou power seems pretty damn useless to me." She crossed her arms and went on. "All it does is make your hair float, your eyes glow red, and you just stand there breathing really heavily. You can do all that just from inhaling car fumes." She paused. "Or heart burn."
Ryu suddenly let out a great cry and shot a beam of energy from his hands, decimating a good portion of the building into rubble.
"…Except for that," Chun-Li stated, ducking to avoid falling boulders. "That's pretty useful."
Miles away, in his evil lab, the evil Sadler watched the result of the fight with barely-restrained evil glee.
"The Dark Hadou…I must have that power!" He broke off to giggle maniacally and do other clichéd bad-guy stuff, like rub his hands together and count his money.
As the building finally stopped collapsing around them, Chun-Li struggled up into a sitting position and gave a sigh of relief.
"Phew, that was a close one. We almost- will you get OUT of here?!" She batted the camera away from her lady parts once again and swore. "That's four! Four, four, four!!" She paused. "Where's Ryu? I gotta find him, he has to write it down for me before I forget. Ryu? Heeeey! Where are you Ryu?" She moved away deeper into the destruction as the camera zoomed in on her ass. "I said STOP!!"
"Owwie!" Sakura sniffled, sitting up and wincing in pain. She and Ken had also survived the explosion. "That was- HEY!! What the heck is wrong with you?! I'm, like, twelve!!" She punched the camera away from her underage crotch and yanked her skirt down. "GEEZ!"
"Sorry," Ken apologized. "I was just trying to visualize Ryu wearing it. You okay?"
"Um…" Sakura tried to move, but flinched in pain once again. "Ow! I hurt my leg."
"Hm?" Ken crouched down next to her and felt her leg like it was a prom date. "Yup…yup, that's definitely broken."
"…Uh…actually, it's my other leg that hurts." Sakura stated.
"…I knew that."
"Can you stop touching me now?"
"Shh! I'm imaging you're Ryu. Don't ruin it."
"GET OFF, HOMO!!"
Meanwhile, in the epicenter of the destruction, Ryu swung an arm forward and caught Shun before his brother could plummet into one of the many gaping chasms that'd opened up all over the floor.
"Where did you learn to use the Dark Hadou?" He demanded once he'd brought the boy to a safer location. "Tell me!"
"…From…Oprah?" Shun answered uncertainly.
"What?!" Ryu sputtered. "How could- ah, well, it IS possible when Oprah is involved." He shrugged and considered the possibilities. "But seriously, where did you learn it from?"
"…From dad." Shun replied. Ryu frowned.
BAM!
Ryu whirled around to find a huge, hulking man with white hair and a long, dark coat standing behind him.
"Hmm…let me guess," Ryu said, eyes narrowing. "You're NOT here to redeem my cans, are you?" The huge man slowly shook his head back and forth. "Then let's fight!!" The two meat-heads hurled themselves at one another and began battling. As the fight wore on, it became painfully clear that Ryu was in deep crap. His punches and kicks were landing, but to no avail, as the huge man wasn't even getting scratched. As a matter of fact, he stepped back and fired a laser at Ryu. Who does that? Who fires a frickin' laser beam at someone? That's just low, man. So low.
Chun-Li was climbing through the destruction, stilling whispering "Four, four, four," to herself so she wouldn't forget, and-
"HEY! That's five now! Gotta remember! Five, five, five…"
Ken stood next to the injured Sakura, looking nervous and scared.
"This is too dangerous for me and my bangin' hair. Laters!" He turned to leave.
"Wait, what about me?!" Sakura wailed, still unable to move. Ken glanced over his shoulder at her.
"Ladies always come first in my book," he told her with a wink. "And by ladies, I mean me! Bye!" And he dashed off to find the exit.
"Fairy!!" Sakura hurled after him, then flopped down onto her front and began crawling across the floor to find a way out.
"Ryu! There you are!" Chun-Li had finally found him and hurried to join his fight with the hulking meat-mountain. Even with their powers combined, they still couldn't leave a dent on the man. Just as the man drew back a fist to strike Ryu, Shun leapt in the way and so valiantly protected his brother from harm. …Are…are we supposed to care? Cuz I sure don't. *Shrugs*
"Shun, no!" Ryu gasped, watching his brother fall to the ground in agony. "You bastard!!" He rounded on the enemy, eyes glowing red, breath deepening as he used the Dark Hadou.
"You see?" Chun-Li complained loudly from beside him. "That IS all it makes you do! And STOP that already! Six!!"
Ryu, a dark haze surrounding him from the Dark Hadou's effects, cupped his hands together and gathered energy between his palms. It grew quickly, and after several seconds, he flung the power straight at the huge man, blowing him to smithereens…and the building, too. Nice going, Ryu. Way to blow up the building again.
As the building shook and more parts crumbled away, Ryu collapsed to the ground, exhausted. Nearby, a metal red eye clunked to the ground, the only thing left from the enemy he'd been facing seconds before. Ryu weakly stretched out an arm and picked it up, then slipped it into his pocket.
"I…can probably get…five cents…for this…"
-A Few Minutes Later-
Not long after, Ryu had recovered enough from his battle to sit up and have an inner monologue.
"I used the Dark Hadou…" he thought to himself miserably. "Am I becoming like Akuma?" A helicopter suddenly appeared out of nowhere and picked up Shun's unconscious body, but Ryu was too busy brooding to notice. Finally Chun-Li dashed up to him and startled him back to his senses.
"Akuma…why- CAMEL TOE!" Ryu jerked awake and shook his head. "Huh? What's going on, what's happening?"
"Ryu, now is NOT the time for your little self-doubting inner monologue!" Chun-Li barked at him. "There are much more important things to do right now! Like write down more tallies for my crotch shots! I'm up to six already! Hurry, write it down!"
"God, six? We're not even half-way through the movie yet!" Ryu looked bewildered as he pulled out his pad of paper and wrote down the number. "Those perverted animators…"
"Oh, and Shun's been kidnapped."
"Wow, really? Would you like the number six or Roman Numerals? Or perhaps tallies?"
-Later That Night-
Only later that night did the gravity of the situation hit Ryu. He was all alone now, Ken having disappeared in the destruction of the building, Chun-Li getting tired of him yelling 'Camel Toe' and leaving, and Shun, being kidnapped. He had nothing left now. Ryu wandered the streets of Kabuki town, ignoring the rain and darkness of the night. Hell, he didn't even stop to pick up any cans – that's how upset he was.
To make things worse, several punks began picking on him, beating him up, stealing his wallet, dogs barking at him, girlfriend dumping him- okay, you get the picture, Ryu is damn pathetic right now.
Ryu slumped against an alley wall and sighed. There was nothing for him now. His best friend/potential rapist was gone, his (fake?) brother was gone, his-
"CAMEL TOE!" Ryu blurted aloud before he could stop himself. Standing before him, Chun-Li glared and crossed her arms.
"Good evening to you, too," she said coldly.
"Lord, bitch," Ryu stated, half-heartedly covering his eyes with one hand. "Spandex and rain? You have NO modesty."
"You're just jealous," Chun-Li snapped, then whirled around and kicked at the camera-man behind her. "And you get away from my ass!" She turned back to Ryu and held out a hand. "Come on. Come with me." Ryu sighed and obliged.
Chun-Li took Ryu back to police headquarters, where they dried him off, warmed him up, and got him to talk about the Dark Hadou and its menacing powers.
"The Dark Hadou…so that's what Sadler's after…" Chun-Li murmured, standing before Ryu as he drank from a mug of hot cocoa. "If that's the case, Shun's probably there, too…" She stopped and looked at Ryu. "Anything else?"
"I…" Ryu sniffled, tears coming to his eyes. "I also have abandonment issues." Chun-Li sighed and sat back down.
-At the Hospital-
Meanwhile, Sakura had managed to crawl down the remnants of the building and reach a nearby hospital, where she was admitted for her broken leg and bleeding stumps of arms. Now she reclined in a cozy hospital bed, playing a Gameboy and muttering swears under her breath.
"Knock, knock!" Ken sang, suddenly sticking his head into the room. Sakura shrieked like a bat and whipped the Gameboy out the window with a crash and tinkle. Then she turned and smiled innocently at Ken.
"Hell-o!" She sang back. Ken made a face and took a step inside.
"…I would ask how you're doing but suddenly I don't really care," he admitted, rubbing the back of his head. "Seeing as how you're not male and not Ryu."
There was an awkward pause.
"Do I have to change your bedpan or anything?"
"NO!" Sakura hollered, chucking it at his head.
"Eww, I do!"
-Back With Ryu-
Ryu was back to brooding in the darkened room Chun-Li had shown him to. He sat on a chair, mind swirling with thoughts and doubts.
"Will I turn into Akuma?" Ryu thought, a thread of fear entering his heart. "No, I don't want to! I don't want gravity-defying hair, and I like my eyebrows! No, no! Help me!"
As if by magic (or creepy stalker powers), Rose appeared before him, pale hair shining and smiling mysteriously.
"I can see your-" She began.
"Cleo! You're back!" Ryu interrupted. "And I didn't even have to call your number or anything!" He paused. "Wait, this is gonna cost me, isn't it? …Do you accept cans?"
"Shut up and listen!!" Rose barked. "Your heart has lost its way, just as Shun's has. You must save him from the darkness, and-"
"You're not doing the accent," Ryu said tightly.
"Oh, mother of…" Rose cleared her throat and tossed her hair before continuing in a heavy Jamaican accent. "De dahkness or de light, it's up tah yoo tah choose!" She paused for a moment. "That'll be ten thousand dollars."
"Ten thou- you fraud!!" Ryu hollered as she faded from view. "Get BACK here!!" He angrily shot a Hadouken at her dissolving form, but instead hit the window behind her, shattering it and sending splintered glass shards flying.
"Ryu!!" Chun-Li burst into the room, eyes widening at the sight of Ryu in distress and the ruined window. "Oh, we are SO sticking you with the bill!"
"I have to go save Shun!" Ryu decided, standing up with determination. "But there's somewhere I have to go first…"
"The Redemption Center?" Chun-Li asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No, not the Redem- okay, yes, the Redemption Center, but somewhere else too!!"
-Later…-
"Yes, hello?" Ken spoke into the phone a bit more forcefully than necessary. "I'm looking for my would-be lover, Ryu. Here's a lengthy description of what he looks likes naked: He's got pecks like Pamela Anderson-"
"I know who he is, buddy," Wallace thankfully interrupted from the other line, which was located at the police headquarters, "but he isn't here. He left a short while ago with Chun-Li to go do something." There was a pause. "Probably each other."
"That camel-toe SLUT!!" Ken roared. "They could have at least asked if I wanted to join in!!" He slammed the phone down on the hook and stormed away in fury.
-Elsewhere-
Meanwhile, Ryu and Chun-Li had indeed embarked on a journey, but not to get friendly, for something even more important! As the boat they'd been traveling on finally docked on a small, unknown island, Ryu staggered down the ramp, his front covered in freshly-spewed vomit.
"I…hate…boats…" he gurgled. Chun-Li shoved past him, the front of her own clothes also decorated with regurgitated food. "I said I was sorry!" Ryu called after her.
The two of them, after cleaning their clothes and forming a truce once again, delved deeper into the topography of the island, apparently searching for something…or someONE. As they traveled more and more inland, they eventually came across a large, rocky canyon filled with creepy wooden dolls.
"What IS this?" Chun-Li wondered aloud, gazing about her in spellbound horror. Suddenly she noticed one of the dolls had buns. "Gah!!" She was so upset by the overall creepiness that she failed to notice the huge crotch-shot number seven, which Ryu was nice enough to tally down for her.
"He's here," Ryu stated quietly, putting his paper away. "Akuma!" The menacing warrior's powerful presence began overwhelming the pair, and they gasped at the untold strength and power bearing down on them. "Where IS he?!" Ryu growled, looking left and right.
"The true warrior enters the arena with all his powers at the ready!" Akuma answered, choosing to remain unseen and instead speaking through one of his wooden dolls.
"Wha…I came here to meet with you, not for a ventriloquist show!!" Ryu barked. "Who do you think you are, Jeff Dunham?!" Drawing back a fist, he quickly destroyed the wooden dummy who'd dare spoken.
"…Well that was just mean," Akuma said after a moment from yet another of his wooden dolls. "But what do you know! I've got another one right here! …Would you like to hear…a knock-knock joke?"
"Stop this!!" Ryu shouted angrily. "Show yourself, Akuma!! I need you to help me!"
"Maybe I would have before…" Akuma's gravely voice spoke through the dummy, "but you broke one of my dolls! Do you have any idea how much these things cost?! I had to get a part-time job as a cashier at 7-11 to pay for these bitches!! Me! Akuma! A cashier!!"
"You think I care about- Auuuuugh!" Ryu broke off as another attack of the Dark Hadou…or is it heart burn this time around? Oh, well, they're both pretty much the same, anyway. He's in pain, alright?
"Ryu!" Chun-Li gasped and ran forward. "Here, take some Pepcid AC! It's supposed to help!"
"No…I can't, it's too powerful!" Ryu choked out, struggling to control himself.
"…Tums, then?"
"No, too chalky!!"
Akuma simply chuckled, still unseen.
"Do it!" He taunted. "Throw your voice like me! Come on, it's fun!"
"No! I won't! I'm not like you!" Ryu continued to struggle valiantly.
"Then leave me!" The overpowering presence began to recede, and Ryu could see Akuma's back as he turned away in disgust.
"Wait! Answer me!" He called at the lone warrior's back. "Do you have a family, a son?"
"Where I go…I go alone," Akuma answered enigmatically. "Where I fight, I fight alone…"
Ryu watched the warrior stride away in silence.
"So…is that a yes or a no?"
"Where?" Akuma ignored Ryu and continued to retreat into the darkness. "Where is one that can stand against me? Against me, and my ventriloquist skills…"
Finally his stifling presence was gone, and everything was back to normal on the island. Ryu took a deep breath and sighed in relief.
"That was Akuma," he told Chun-Li. "The man who mastered our fighting style…and ventriloquism." Chun-Li just stood there quietly, contemplating.
"I…I'm taking this," she stated, ambling up to the wooden doll with buns and sticking it under her arm. "It'll look real cute in my front lawn."
"Hey, he forgot your camel-toe."
Chun-Li chucked the doll at him.
-Later…-
Later that day, Ryu and Chun-Li stood in the island's surf, talking about their experience with Akuma and his superior voice-throwing talents.
"You mean you'll turn into something like that?" Chun-Li was saying. "But that's-"
"Can you PLEASE put some pants on or something?" Ryu interrupted her, squinting one of his eyes closed. "Your camel-toe is really distracting me."
"Oh, come on! It isn't even all that-"
"And that's crotch-shot number nine, bitch," a voice cut in. Ryu and Chun-Li turned to see Ken standing behind them, arms crossed and looking even more miffed than usual. "You moving in on my man?" He asked dangerously, glaring at the Asian woman.
"Excuse me?"
"What do you want, Ken?" Ryu intervened before a cat-fight could commence.
"You know what I want," Ken answered silkily, removing his top. Chun-Li gaped at them.
"Wha…what do you two think you're doing?!" She sputtered. "You two aren't going to have gay sex right here, are you?!" Ken cocked an eyebrow and looked at Ryu.
"…Are we?"
"NO!"
"No," Ken told her, disappointment in his voice painfully obvious. "I'm going to fight Ryu to try and turn him gay-"
Ryu shook his head back and forth.
"-Change his mind!" Ken corrected. "Let's go!" The two best friends jumped at one another, fists and feet flying. Chun-Li watched in awe as they battled it out on the ocean-soaked sand.
"…Hey…this is kinda hot…" Chun-Li sat down and pulled out some popcorn, enjoying the show. The fight didn't last for much longer, as both men collapsed on the ground with exhaustion, black and bruised.
"…I love you, man."
"Get off!" Ryu shoved Ken away and sat up. "Ken, remember, if I can't break free of the Dark Hadou/heart burn, I want you to-"
"I know, I know," Ken sighed. "You want me to fu-"
"ENOUGH OF THAT!!"
-Meanwhile…-
Meanwhile, in a secret, evil lab (appropriately called Sadler's Secret Evil Lab of Evil) far, far away in some remote sandy-desert place, Sadler giggled evilly to himself as he conducted several evil, secret experiments.
"Hee hee," he tittered evilly, "soon I shall have the Dark Hadou! The world will be mine!! Hahahahahahaha!!" He continued to laugh evilly as the camera panned out, the sand from the empty desert swirling in the wind and- "GAAK! Sand in my throat! Gak!"
-End Part 2-
Disclaimer: I don't own Street Fighter.
Author's Note: Wow, this is stupid. Still, it's fun.