CHAPTER 4

I'm standing in front of that fuckin LOVE BALL poster and pull out my cell phone. I need to speak to that damn red head.

I'm nearly shocked when hear the unfriendly „What?" at the other end. Before Emily can say anything else, I'm speaking "Please Emily" taking a breath "I have to speak to you."

"What for?" - "Don't hang up..." I wait, and after a second she's still there and tells me that we should meet for coffee." I think a whole mountain just fell off of my heart. She hangs up and I smile. Maybe life's better than I thought.

10 minutes later I'm walking down the street to the coffee, we always met. Before I enter the building a look threw the window and I see a red head sitting there on her own. "You can do this, Naomi, you can do this."

I count fast to 10 and open the door. "Emily..." How natural it feels to say that name. This time I can't hide the happiness in my voice. I'm so glad that she gives me another chance. The red head turns around. The girl takes off her sunglasses and I nearly screamed. This must be a nightmare.

Katie Fitch grins at me. I groan with an unbelieving smile. I nearly have to laugh at my stupidity. I knew the voice sounded somehow different.

"You gonna sit down?" No....but well, I'm kinda curious what she wants to I take the seat across her. I look at her. I hate her, if she wasn't there, who knows, maybe I wouldn't be so scared, I'm mean I wouldn't need to be, right. One homophobic person less.

Shit, what if Emily sent Katie, what if Emily doesn't even want to see me again and sends her fuckin sister instead? "Was that you on the phone?" I ask, wanting to know for sure. "She shouldn't leave it lying around" Katie says as if she would have the right to do something like that. At least I know that Emily has nothing to do with this.

I don't know what to say, what does she want from me? "So..." I start. "Leave her alone. She's mine." What wrong with this family? First the mother, now the sister...they treat Ems like crap and know, when she finally comes out of her shadow they pretend to care. I don't get this.

"She can't help, who she is, Katie. Nether can I..." Have I just said that?

"Yeah? Seemed like she could help it when she was fucking JJ..." Suddenly I feel a sharp pain stinging inside of me. "What?" I must have misunderstood her.

"Apparently he's quite keen actually, you know after she sorted him good and proper."

Nonononono...This can't be...nonono NO....

"It's not true." It can't be, right? Emily was after all mine, right? I mean she was running after me all the time, why should she stop now, I mean if hurt her worse...right? It would fit, if Katie would have just made this up, to make me giving up on Ems...right, that's it.

"You hurt her, now she doesn't want you." Katie says. It sounded so...so true. I really really hurt her that other night, I mean, why does it bother me that much? It's not we are like together, cause if we were...I would have gone with her to that stupid prom, and she? She wouldn't have slept with JJ.

Shit, this is not logical, I'm so confused, and hurt. This hurts so much, did Emily feel like this when she left my house yesterday. Rejected?

Katie sits there, smiling. Then she gets up, I have to shut my eyes for a moment, this isn't happening, it can't.

"Why are you so horrible" I ask her. I can't believe that she and Emily are relatives.

"Coz i love her more than you ever can, now if you will excuse i have dresses to buy for a ball and you want be there, because if you are...... " She looks at me with an really ill I'll-kill-you-if-you look. Then she just turns around and goes.

I'm sitting there in this fuckin coffee shop, where this fucking nice music is playing. I'm shocked, it gets harder to breathe and tears a forming in my eyes. "...no she doesn't want you..." The words are spinning in my head. Was is really true. Yeah, I believed Katie that with JJ, but Emily not wanting me anymore?

I remember what she had said at the lake, when I just left her, standing there. "...I do want you, so be brave, and want me back!" Why wasn't it enough what I was giving her, why was she not content with having sex sometimes, holding hands in secret.

My whole live I thought I wouldn't need anyone, not my father, not my mother, no friends, no love, no Emily. But the truth was, I really did want her...and I really did need her to want me.

I let a tear find it's way down my cheek. Maybe it wasn't too late, maybe I could make it alright, maybe I could show her that I really wanted her. I got up and nearly ran out of that building into the next shop for dresses.

Oh god, dresses...I really loved them, but wearing them was something totally differently and buying them was another story in an foreign language. When I found some beautiful yellow short dress I nearly fainted. "3000 Pounds?" WTF?

I went home, with puffy red eyes, blurred make up, broken heart, but without a dress. Slowly I found my way into the kitchen, where my mother was sitting with a cup of tea in her hands.

When she saw me, she jumped up from her chair and pulled me into a tight hug. "Oh honey, what the fuck happened to you?" And for the first time since 7 years I cried in my mothers arms, maybe after all, I did need a mother too.

Special Thanks to Skinsfan2 , who really really helped me! Thank you so much...this chpt is for you!!

But I also wanna thank everyone who read this and who reviewed, you are amazing!!!

TBC....