This is my first fan fic so please R & R! If people want me to I'll carry this on. So basically this is in Edwards point of view as he leaves Bella. Some of the original speech has been altered or omitted, there may also be slight variations between the book and my version. I do not own Twilight, or any of Stephenie Meyers creations. Enjoy!
Edward's P.O.V.
She meant everything to me; she was my whole life the moon, the stars, the earth and that's why I had to leave. I owed her that, the least I could give her was a happy normal human life but that meant I wasn't to be part of it, a vampire that's what I was not normal not human but dangerous. Alice had warned me that I wouldn't be able to stay away but I had to, I had to find the strength from somewhere, I know I always said you shouldn't bet against Alice but just this once I was.
I'd spent the last few days putting distance between us, I think she realised that something was wrong I just needed to confirm it and so it was set in my mind. This evening I would commit the single most painful act of my whole 100 years on this planet. I knew it would haunt me for the rest of my existence but she was human and it may be painful to begin with but she would move on, there was no way her feelings could compare to mine although they may be strong it would never be the same as a vampire's love. She would get through this and she would lead a normal life with college, children a happy future with a normal happy human husband I could give her that. And then the bell jarred me from my thoughts, not saved by the bell this time, so I began my steady pace towards the car park, towards her. For once keeping humanly slow was not so difficult. Each step bought me closer to the inevitable, what I wouldn't give to be human again. I looked up and there she was a vision, the most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on. If I could of cried I would have found it hard to fight back the tears, and in that moment the reason why I was doing this was absolutely clear how could I not deny her a future and with that I knew my future was set dark, lonely and never ending however as long as she survived I knew I would to.
I pulled up outside the house, she was just stepping out of her truck, time was going too quickly I sat there just for a second and drank in the image before me. The chocolate brown eyes, so loving and trusting of me, her soft brown hair that rippled in the breeze. I knew if I didn't do it now I never would. For once I didn't feel so graceful as she put it as I stepped out of my Volvo it was unusual this unsteadiness, foreign as I crossed towards her. I took her book bag this was normal a small smile graced her lips. I unintentionally took a deep breath in and was suddenly consumed by her scent, if I had a heart it surely would have been ripping in two now. I forced myself to place her book bag in her truck. She looked at me confused, she was always so observant she knew something was wrong and with that I began the most destroying conversation of my life.
"Come for a walk with me". I tried to keep my voice detached, unemotional otherwise there would be no way I could convince her. I wondered how many lies I would have to tell to make her believe the ultimate lie, in a way I hoped she wouldn't but that was selfish. I soundlessly led her into the woods that surrounded her house I made sure that we didn't go too far I didn't want her getting lost when I left her. Turning around her house was still visible, yes this would do. And so I began the most heart wrenchingly painful conversation of my life the only thing that kept me going was the thought of eventually it was going to make her life better and this fuelled me on.
"When you say we – " She didn't fully understand me, I could see then she would have dropped everything, everyone and left with me there and then, why did she have to make this harder. With that she confirmed it.
"Okay, I'll come with you". There it was 5 words confirming exactly what I thought. I had to end this now and with that I put on the best show of my life. It wasn't working no matter what I said she came back at me, her voice pleading, begging this was getting too difficult, I glanced to the floor my mind settled I had to finish this now.
"Bella I don't want you to come with me." The pain that crossed her face quickly made me question what I was doing, no I thought she'll get over this a little pain for her now was unfortunately a necessary step or she would never move on. I carefully construed my next lines trying to make her believe that I really believed them. I wanted her to see a flicker of doubt deep down, but again I knew that ultimately I couldn't let that happen. And there it was acceptance, I was a little shocked I thought it would have taken a lot more to convince her, this quick this soon my mind reeled. I knew I should leave now before I changed my mind but there was one thing I still had to ask of her. As I looked up to address her, the pain etched on her face momentarily echoed in my own and then it was gone my face once again set in a stone cold mask.
"Don't do anything reckless or stupid; do you understand what I'm saying?" I'd let a little too much of myself, a little too much emotion seep through my words and as quickly as it had come it left my mask set again. And as she agreed I made the single most difficult promise I'd ever made. I would make sure it was like I never existed, that's how it had to be that's why I promised her. My head suddenly skipped ahead to what I had to do next removing all traces of myself from her life, with a small glimmer of hope I was sure it wouldn't be as difficult as this. As I started to walk away, saying my final goodbye a second jolt of pain ran through me not only was I taking myself away from her but Alice, Calisle, Esme, Jasper, Emmet and even Rosalie. Despite the pain she was going through she noticed this, always observant Bella. I quickly explained, it was me not Alice that had insisted on no goodbyes, a clean break so to speak. If I thought she was in pain before it was nothing compared to now. I took a step forward and for what would be the last time I lightly kissed her forward, drinking in everything that was Bella.
"Take care of yourself" and with that I turned and ran, I didn't look back once, if I had, no doubt I would have gone back on everything that had just occurred. And so here I was on the edge of the forest, no Bella and my body started to heave like I was crying, but that couldn't be right vampires didn't, couldn't cry but I was wrong as I stared at the ground a single tear fell from my cold hard cheek onto the ground below.