A/N- This is just a quick update because I promised certain readers than I would have this chapter posted long before today. I know it is short, and that the action that will take place in chapter 8 could easily take place here, but to be honest this was such strangely hard chapter to right I would rather just post the damned thing. Besides, this is actually only a rough draft, and I already intend to rewrite this story when it is finished to make it, well, better.
In other news, a reader from another website told me that the flow of this story is off, and it lacks action. This is something I had not noticed until told so, thus, any advice furthering her comment would be appreciated, as I now agree with it. She also told me that Zuriel seems changed from when I first introduced him. I disagree on that one, considering Zuriel's introduction was when he was cooly pissed, and he has not felt that way since. Either way, opinions on that would be nice too, so I know what to work on :)
Chapter 7
Celine could not recall a time when she had fallen prey to a more fitful night. She lay in bed, frustrated that she could not sleep. There was no thunder, no howling wind, no bumps in the night. Nothing that nightmares were made of. But she could not forget that wolf call she had heard only hours before over dinner, which she had eaten very little of. She had only eaten what she had at all out of respect for the hard work that had went into preparing supper, though she noticed there was not as much food as normal. Or, at least, was normal for Zuriel's castle.
It was as if the entire staff knew that he would not be present.
The silken covers slid over her skin in a soothing way as she tossed and turned. Still, it did not calm her. She was unused to not seeing Zuriel at night. The routine they had developed took a large part in keeping her sane in this place. And she could not forget all that he had told her.
She was not sure what part was more upsetting.. Her father.. her mother.. Roland… The pain of the betrayal of each person washed over her in turn, relentlessly.
She did not believe Zuriel about her father. She could not. She was not ready to accept it. Father had always loved her. Had always treated her with the utmost care…
Until the night of her engagement ball, that is, when he had put riches before her..
No! She must not be selfish. He was tring to lift the burden of her caring for the family off of her shoulders. That was all.
Mother… How could she have sold off her daughter's heart to a man she did not know if Celine would love? Did she even ever really love Father? Was she protecting her heart or his when she ended the relationship between her and Lord Colne.
Celine's head spun.
Roland's secret was not so painful as it was irksome. To have been watched by him, to have been lusted over by him, all this time, and not have known?! Somehow the fact that Zuriel had done the same thing was more comforting that anything. This man, twisted as he was, had a good heart. For the most part, at the very least. He could have done anything to her as a child, and the passion that he spoke of that he held for her, it was far greater than any she had ever dreamed about… and he had never forced his touch upon her the way Roland had.
It was because he did not just lust after her… He loved her. Celine paused for a moment, stunned out of her physical discomfort for the time being. The realization of what was going through her head struck her all at once. Slowly, strangely, the pain of her family's arduous ways melted away.
She was loved? Romantically… truly loved?
Celine sat up in her bed, ignoring the shiver that tried to overtake her body as the chilled air struck her skin. She was loved. She had been loved for years, and had never known it. She felt a deep, sudden sadness fill her to the brim for a moment's time. She had been followed, she had fascinated this beautiful man, and she had never been able to actually experience the feeling of knowing she was looked after. It was bittersweet. She felt as if she had missed out on something bigger than she was.
A small smile graced her lips nonetheless, and she sighed, feeling very silly as she did so. Here she was, learning that her family may or may not be all she always thought that they were, she was trapped in a place that was not her home, and she was smiling?
She twirled a lock of her hair thoughtfully, and bit her lip lightly. It did not matter that she had not known before this day that Zuriel had been watching out for her. It mattered simply that he had done so at all.
But had she scared him away with her emotional reaction to all of Zuriel's secrets? Was he hurt? Was that why he had not shown up for dinner? Or was he simply unwilling to see her, viewing her as ungrateful?
Celine slid back down and lay on her bed, the covers tangled around her. This was too many feelings at once. She massaged her temples with long, delicate fingers, and inhaled deeply.
"Amara?" said Celine quietly. She knew the housekeeper was near, most likely right outside her bedroom. Celine had learned that in this castle, she was never alone. Her privacy was not often invaded, the servants knew how to keep their distance. But somehow Zuriel felt as if she may be unsafe in this castle, even with so may people living in it. Amara was not married, as far as Celine knew, and thus took no issue with watching over her the most often.
Her bedroom door opened slowly. Amara had learned as of late to be a little less hasty when moving objects around Celine, fearing she would frighten the child, as she often did.
"Yes, dear?" came Amara's voice.
Celine sighed, feeling very childish. She was like a witch's brew of emotions. She could not tell what new feeling would be thrown into the deadly mixture next.
"Will you… stay with me, tonight, in my bedroom?" she asked cautiously. She closed her eyes against the embarrassment that flooded through her. But somehow she knew that she would not make it through this night without Amara. The woman's presence was calming and maternal, something Celine had little experienced growing up, if at all. Tonight, at least, she needed her.
"Of course, child" said Amara automatically. It was as if she had been expecting this from Celine. Perhaps she knew that Zuriel was going to speak with Celine today about her past.
Ah, no, that could not be. Celine had been the one to seek out Zuriel. No one else could have known that their conversation was going to take place.
But then perhaps Zuriel had spoken to Amara afterwards?
The sound of Amara settling into a silver, tufted chaise in the corner of the room, near the entrance door, distanced Celine from her thoughts. What did it matter? Her closest friend here was now with her, in this room, and now, perhaps, Celine could truly rest.
The next morning brought sunshine and shimmering light and life to Celine's bedchambers. She awoke rather peacefully, all things considered, and strode over to the chaise to see if Amara was still there. She touched the woman's face lightly and felt that she was. Having successfully not woken her, Celine went into the bathroom and washed her face and cleaned her teethe so that she felt throughly refreshed. By the time she was done, Amara seemed to have risen, for her voice floated to Celine from the bathroom entryway.
"I am going to go sleep for a little while longer, dear, in my bedchambers. Fiona will be in shortly to help you dress for the day".
Amara's words brought guilt to Celine, though she knew that was not the older woman's intent.
"I am truly sorry to have asked that of you last night, Amara. I simply could not sleep.." she explained, feeling very much a child.
"Now, now, you are not to worry. With all the luxeries Zuriel bestows upon his staff, its only natural that we actually work for it. And by this time, I view you as more of a daughter than a charge. So either way you look at it, last night's sacrifice was not a sacrifice at all"
Celine thought this over for a moment. She took comfort in knowing Amara reguarded Celine as highly as she regarded Amara.
"Anyway, dear, I will be by your side at dinner, tonight, as usual". Celine's ears perked up at this, as if trying to detect a lie.
"Are you sure that Zuriel will come?" she asked shyly.
"Whyever not, child!" said Amara, as if such a notion was silly, and then she was gone, her quiet footsteps padding along the carpet on her way out.
As promised, Fiona entered the room moments later, and greeted Celine happily. She wondered if the girl ever had bad days, but did not dwell on the fact, as sadness was not something she wished upon her maidservant.
Fiona chided Celine for not having donned her robe, and slipped the pink, silky thing over Celine's arms. It was embroidered with roses, and Celine knew now that this fact must not be from Zuriel's fondness of the flower, but for his knowledge of Celine's.
The maid led Celine to her vanity and began brushing her hair tenderly while chatting away about some sort of gossip having to do with the newest cook, not that Celine was aware that there were any newfound staff members here at the castle. Celine watched her silver plated hair brush float gently up and down, dragging through her hair. Like seeing her food be served to her, Celine and Fiona's early morning routine was now just that: so routine that Celine was used to it and not disturbed at all by watching her posessions moving about without seen hands to cause them to do so. Besides, she was now able to sense something of an aura in each person here at the castle (or at least those she was most familiar with) and could almost, in a way, sense them coming from quite a ways off. That combined with her fresh knowledge of exactly how and why they all came to be this way, and their carefulness in sudden movements made living here much more tolerable.
Fiona had only just finished stroking Celine's tresses into a high shine when Zuriel entered the room without so much as a knock. Celine looked taken aback that Zuriel would dare enter a lady's chambers without first knocking, or even waiting for her to come out on her own. Fiona, however, seemed perfectly adapted to such behavior, as if it was normal of her master.
"Good morning, milord! She will be ready in just a moment if you will-"
"No no, Fiona, I would like to speak to her now, not later" interrupted Zuriel. His chiseled jaw was set firmly, and his gray eyes looked more icy than not. Celine felt nervous now, feeling that her suspicions were confirmed and he truly was angry at her.
Fiona said nothing and was gone in seconds, shutting the door quietly behind her.
Immediately the façade ended. Zuriel's eyesbrows went from high and prideful to soft and sorry.
"I must apologize, my love, for having not attended dinner last night" he said. His voice was still crisp and deep, giving away none of the emotion that his expression betrayed.
"Have I angered you, my lord?" asked Celine. She was cautious not to use his name as she has yesterday, fearing that her outburst had, perhaps, voided her of that luxery.
"Zuriel" he corrected her, showing that he forgave whatever folly she felt she had committed.
Celine nodded. "Zuriel" she said quietly, twisted a lock of her hair, which shone golden in the sunlight that streamed throught the window behind her. Amara must have opened the curtains while Celine had been washing her face.
"Why did you not come, then, if you were not angry with me?" Celien wondered aloud.
"I had other matters to attend to" he said truthfully, though it seemed to be only a half truth.
Celine's eyebrows knit in confusion. She wondered why he could not have simply told her before he left.
There was a pause in which each of them were lost in thought, unsure of what to say.
"I would never leave you if I had the choice, Celine" he said quietly. Celine was silent, shocked at the intensity of his words. It was a romantic feeling that spread feel her.. a feeling of being truly loved. Before she could fully identify this emotion, Zuriel, mistaking her quiet stance, continued.
"I am not like your father".
Celine's clear green eyes shot up to her companion's silver ones with a flash.
"My father is fine" she said calmly, surprised that Zuriel would bring him up again before her wounds reguarding her father were fully healed.
Zuriel sighed in a way that suggested he knew something she did not. This upset Celine quicker than she could keep up with. Her head spun with the burst of emotion.
"My father is fine" she repeated, voice still calm and pretty.
"No he is not, my angel" replied Zuriel, his passion still evident, though she was now unsure of what the source was: love or.. something else.
"Then let me figure that out on my own time, if you please" said Celine, her guard slipping ever so slightly as her voice shook with annoyance.
Zuriel shook his head. "No" he said simply.
Celine's eyebrows were raised now, in a way that reflected hurt. She was not a child. How dare this man assume she could not care for her own emotions. Granted he seemed to know more about her life than she did, but he had never experienced being close with any of the people he had insulted. Flawed they may be, but so was he…
And then something dawned on Celine.
"But.. I must admit, you have one other flaw. I daresay the two are intertwined. You are naive, my little beauty. Devastatingly so. You believe that those you love are flawless. They are not."
She recalled Zuriel's words from the previous day's discussion.
"You are not perfect" she said quietly. Zuriel raised his pale eyebrows, unsure if he had heard her clearly. Why would she be telling him such a thing? He knew all too well how very imperfect he was.
"I know that" he replied aristocratically, none of his internal shock refelcting externally. His broad chest rose in a prideful sort of way.
"What are your flaws?" Celine asked curiously.
Zuriel snorted, though somehow he managed to still play the part of a handsome gentleman as he did so.
"I cannot tell you yet" he replied.
Celine tilted her head to one side, all feelings of anger long vanished. That same warm emotion that she had felt last night, and moments ago, returned to her.
"You, Zuriel, cannot connect with humans as well as you think you can. You are a little prideful as well, and stubborn, I daresay" she said, a smile gracing her pink lips in a way that distracted Zuriel from her words. To kiss those lips…
He snapped back to attention, realizing what his little beauty had said to him. He smiled back, his cuved, full lips looking every bit as tempting as Celine's.
"I think you brought me here not only because you know that I need you. You need me too" she said. She did not taunt him at all, though it would take a fool to not see that her words rang true. She clasped her hands behind her back and watched Zuriel's reaction, hoping she had not gone too far.
Zuriel leaned his head back, observing her in turn. There it was again… She was like a little living doll, beautiful and childlike, but so full of wisdom, naive or not, that sometimes her words were apt to sting. Zuriel had not thought about it that way before. And perhaps that did made him.. prideful.
"Yes" he said after a moment, walking over to take Celine's hand. "Yes, I suppose I do".
He felt bonded with her then, more than he had since she had first arrived here. He never imagined Celine, in all her strange, shy yet bold ways, would ever say something like she just had to him. To adress a man who is not your husband in such a way was unheard of. Not to him, perhaps, but to others in this day and age, it was. Strange little thing.
He really did need her. Of course.. And what a foolish man he must be to not have known this before. For all the riches he could provide for Celine, for all the protection he could pit against the world for her, he could not see into her soul as easily as she could see into his. It was a daunting discovery.
And now he knew, without a doubt, that he had made the right decision when he had chosen his captor. She was perfect in every area that he was not. He wondered if perhaps he needed her even more than she needed him.