A Week in the Life of the Smashers
Ron Host and I are sitting at the same table that we were sitting at last chapter playing a game of Go-Fish.
"Got any sevens?" Ron Host asked me.
"Go fish." I answer.
"Dang it." Ron Host draws a card from the deck.
"Have any queens?" I ask with a sly smile.
"Dang it!" Ron Host hands me a queen.
"You have any tens?"
"Wait a second… you're the author, this isn't fair." Ron Host whined.
"I know." I respond with a Cheshire cat grin.
"Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!"
"Oh crud! The readers are here! Ron! The disclaimer!"
"Oh snap! Disclaimer: Nintendogeek01 owns nothing in this story minus myself and the story itself."
"And I am OWNing you at this game of go fish."
"Curses…"
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Day 2
Nana and Popo are in their bedroom on the third floor. Well technically it was two rooms, but Master Hand had a segment of the wall separating their rooms cut to allow a sliding door in its place so that they could share a room and get whatever privacy they needed. Popo's half was painted a blue color to match his park while Nana's was painted pink. Otherwise, the rooms looked like mirror images with way the beds, dressers and toy chests were arranged. Like all the smashers bedrooms, they both had a large window door leading to a small balcony, although they usually went out on the same balcony. The sliding door was currently open, Popo was pacing between their rooms while Nana was sitting on her bed clutching her stomach.
"When's breakfast going to be ready?" Nana asked.
"Breakfast is later than usual." Popo said.
"Attention smashers!" Master Hand's voice rang over the intercom. "Kirby and Yoshi got back late last night for unknown reasons and they had a midnight snack before going to bed…"
"THAT CONSISTED OF ALL THE FOOD LEFT IN THE MANSION!!!" Crazy Hand suddenly shouted.
"So all of you will have to either order in or go out to eat for breakfast." Master Hand sighed.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YA HA HA HA HA!!!" Crazy Hand shouted.
"DANG IT!!! WHERE'S HIS MEDICINE?!?" Master Hand shouted before the intercom cut off.
"Ooooooooohhhhh…" The Ice Climbers moaned before falling over in hunger.
Downstairs in the dining room…
Everyone was groaning over the lack of food. "That's it, I'm just going to eat out." Bowser said. He started for the door, looked up to make sure nothing would collapse on top of him. Then he bolted out the door before anything could hit him.
"Maybe I'll go grocery shopping." Samus sighed. C. Falcon instantly ran up and skidded to a stop right in front of her.
"I can drive you!" He shouted.
"Fine…" Samus sighed.
"Yes! Quick Samus! To the Blue Falcon!" C. Falcon shouted as old the old Batman and Robin scene change music played. C. Falcon and Samus blinked for a minute and looked around. "Ooooooookaaaaayyy… where'd that come from?" C. Falcon asked.
"Beats me." Samus sighed. The two shrugged and walked off toward the garage by entering the door on the wall to the right of the entrance.
"Well, I'm going to Hardees!" Ganondorf said.
"That sounds great." Link said.
"No way! I want to go to McDonalds!" Y. Link said.
"What! No way!" Link shouted.
"McDonalds!!!" Y. Link shouted.
"Hardees!"
"McDonalds!!!"
"Oh let's just take him to McDonalds." Zelda sighed.
"Whyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Link shouted as he hit his knees.
Everyone just ordered in various foods from various places.
Meanwhile…
Snake, Fox, Falco, Nana, Popo, Ness, and Marth were all in the rec room to kill some time while they were waiting on their food. Snake was shooting pool by himself and… doing quite badly. Fox was moping in a chair by himself with Falco sitting next to him, Marth was just watching Snake, and the three kids were playing Super Smash Bros. Melee.
"Sheesh Snake, you've been playing for ten minutes by yourself and you haven't even sunk one in." Marth laughed.
"You think you're any better?" Snake asked.
"Yes."
"Care to make a bet?" Snake asked.
"I'll bet fifty dollars." Marth said.
"I would have bet ten, but fine." Snake said.
"I'll be a good sport and let you break." Marth said getting his cue stick ready.
"Fine." Snake shot the white ball at the ball triangle, and sunk every last ball in one shot. "You my friend, have just been hustled!" Snake said giving Marth a half-smile.
Marth stared in disbelief at the pool table and blinked for a little bit. "Un…believable…" Marth said. He pulled out fifty dollars and laid it on the table. "I'll get you for that." Marth said.
"Oooooohhh… who would just destroy the Great Fox out of the blue like that?" Fox moaned.
"Uh… Fox…" Falco started to say.
"I mean who in the world would be so evil as to just destroy it?" Fox asked.
"What if this person didn't mean to blow it up hypothetically speaking?" Falco asked.
"Well then that person would have to be one oblivious, heartless, cruel, degrading, inconsiderate jerk." Fox said while slamming his fist on his palm with each adjective, and Falco's head sinking lower with each adjective. "So you wanted to tell me something Falco?"
"Uh… Roy ate the last bag of cheese puffs you were looking for yesterday morning." Falco said quickly.
"What!" Fox bolted up and ran out of the rec room and ran down the hall toward the living room on the other side of the mansion.
"Whew…"
"So you were the one who…" Ness started to say when Falco tackled him and held his mouth.
"Listen you, keep it quiet and I'll buy you anything you want for lunch." Falco hissed. The Ice Climbers just stared at Falco, who smiled sheepishly and let go. "heh…heh…heh heh…" Falco laughed nervously. Suddenly he felt a message enter his head telepathically.
"Deal." Ness told him.
Meanwhile…
Mewtwo and Roy were in the living room. Mewtwo was meditating for some peace and quiet when Roy broke the silence by snapping his fingers. "I've got it! I'll call Lilina and set up a date with her." Roy said reaching for the phone on the side table next to the couch he was sitting on.
"Roy…" Mewtwo started to say.
"Yeah?"
"I'd hide right now if I were you." Mewtwo said.
"Why?" Roy asked giving Mewtwo a confused look. Suddenly Fox tackled Roy fiercely. "GAH!"
"So YOU were the one who ate my cheese puffs huh?" Fox shouted while wrestling Roy to the ground.
"!!!"
"Don't give me that surprised look!" Fox said while pulling a rope out of nowhere and hogtying Roy.
"Crud… how'd he know?" Roy wondered.
"Falco told him…" Mewtwo told him telepathically.
"But I never told Falco…" Roy whined in his head as Fox stuffed a pillow in to his mouth. "And why the heck aren't you helping me!!!" Roy asked him.
"Because… this is quite amusing." Mewtwo said while chuckling telepathically.
Meanwhile…
Mario, Luigi, and Peach were at a Denny's restaurant. The Mario ordered a lumberjack combo, Luigi just had a small stack of pancakes, and Peach ordered a salad, which is naturally quite odd for breakfast. Mario ate a little bit of his combo thinking to himself "Peach's-a cooking is-a much better."
"Say Mario, are you busy tonight?" Peach asked.
"Not-a really." Mario answered.
"Well would you mind taking me to see this new movie that came out?" Peach asked.
"Of course-a not." Mario said.
"What's-a the movie anyway?" Luigi asked.
"I think it's called "Twilight Princess." It's supposed to be based off of some game." Peach said.
"What-a time you-a need me to-a get the-a car?" Mario asked.
"Seven thirty." Peach said.
"Okey-dokey." Mario said.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Luigi suddenly screamed.
"What's-a wrong?" Mario asked.
"I thought I-a saw someone-a peeking around-a the corner." Luigi said. "Oh well."
Around the corner, Wario was listening in on the conversation while munching on his two lumberjack combos. "heh heh heh… I'll ruin Mario's date with Peach. That will prove my total superiority! Wah ha ha ha ha ha!" Wario thought to himself. Mario, Luigi, and Peach paid for their respective meals and once they left. "But… I need a sucker, a sucker so stupid, that he would very willingly help me with this endeavor. Wah ha ha ha ha!" Wario then looked around and found everyone staring at him. "Uuuuhhh… hi?"
Meanwhile…
Kirby and Yoshi were walking down the street looking around. Finally, they saw what they were looking for. "Yoshi!"
"Pyo!" Kirby and Yoshi immediately ran in to a barbecue restaurant. A few seconds later, Meta-Knight and Pit peeked around a nearby corner. And then DK peeked over top of the both of them.
"Donkey Kong… what are you standing on?" Meta-Knight asked.
"Oo."
"Nothing?" Pit asked a little worried. Then DK collapsed on top of them both. "Guh… my wing…"
"I'm crushed… beneath the both of you…" Meta-Knight groaned. The DK rolled off the top of them shortly afterwards. The three of them stood up and brushed themselves off. "Okay you two. Remember that we have to make sure that those two don't eat that place out of house and home. Thus we may be able to avoid last night's incident." Meta-Knight told them.
"And how are we going to stop them?" Pit asked.
"Oooo?"
"We'll… work that out in a minute." Meta-Knight said as they entered the restaurant. A few minutes later, the Blue Falcon drove down the street just within the speed limit, just as they started to enter some light traffic.
"Enjoying the ride Samus?" C. Falcon asked.
"I just said I'd go with you so that I could pick up groceries." Samus said quite bluntly.
"Sheesh, no fun at all." C. Falcon said. Suddenly…
RING
"Oh hang on, my phone's ringing." C. Falcon said. "Hello?" C. Falcon asked. "Hm? Who is this?" C. Falcon asked as he started to lose control of the wheel, starting to swerve in a zigzag pattern.
"Uh… C. Falcon." Samus said a little nervously.
"What! No way am I paying that much!" C. Falcon shouted in to the phone. The Blue Falcon was now starting to hit street posts and knock them over in to buildings. C. Falcon then passed a red light at a four-way intersection, causing several cars to break to a halt and some to crash in to the cars that hit the breaks.
"C. Falcon…" Samus said considerably more tense than before.
"I don't know how the heck you got this number! But I'm not buying! What do you mean why not?" C. Falcon shouted. C. Falcon then made another turn, only this time hitting a fire hydrant and sending water flying everywhere, blinding several drivers and causing cars to go crashing in to buildings.
"C. Falcon!!!" Samus shouted.
"Don't you dare keep trying to sell that to me!" C. Falcon shouted, now completely letting go of the wheel. This time, the car went flying over a hill.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Samus shouted as the car tumbled down the hill, eventually hitting a rock that sent the car spiraling through the air until it hit the ground, rolled over and land perfectly in a parallel parking place. "Aaaaaahhh…" Samus gasped.
"Goodbye!" C. Falcon shouted hanging up the phone. "Oh! We're here."
"What… was the phone call about…" Samus said still shaken up with her left eye twitching.
"Some idiot was trying to sell me wallets." C. Falcon said. "Say what happened to your hair?" C. Falcon asked.
"…"
"What's… with that look?" C. Falcon asked.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Samus lunged at C. Falcon and began strangling him.
"GACK!!!"
Meanwhile…
Link dragged himself in to the now empty rec room. "Man… stupid little kid instinct…" Link moaned. "Why does it always draw them to McDonald's?" Y. Link walked in playing a Nintendo DS Lite. Ganondorf also walked in holding his stomach.
"Man… I ate a little too much, oh well, time to catch the Monster Truck Derby!" Ganondorf said as he sat down on the couch in front of the TV, grabbed a remote and turned it on as a Monster Truck was about to jump a ramp.
"Hey! I was going to watch the fencing channel." Link grabbed another remote to the TV and changed it to the fencing channel as two guys were sword fighting with each other.
"Hey!" Ganondorf changed it back to the monster truck derby.
"Oh and I feel sorry for the sap who missed that jump." The announcer blared.
"Hey! I'm still watching fencing!" Link changed it back to the fencing channel.
"Oh and what a parry that was! What a shame it would have been to miss that." The announcer with a light British voice said.
"Grrrr…" The two then began hitting the previous channel button over and over again until finally. "THAT'S IT!!!" Ganondorf shouted. He and Link stood up from the couch and were nose to nose with each other.
"Uh… guys…" Y. Link said just now noticing this.
"There's only one way to settle this." Link growled.
"You guys don't mean… that?" Y. Link moaned.
"Oh yes Y. Link! That!" Link said.
"No quarter asked, no quarter given." Ganondorf said. "So… do you have a quarter?"
Later…
Link and Ganondorf were on the Dance Dance Revolution machine at the arcade. The song was set to the "Le Bamba" on Very Hard difficulty. Both of them were hitting the arrows perfectly as they danced. "You're… going… down…" Link said between breaths.
"No… you… are…" Ganondorf said between breaths.
"Ugh… they always take forever…" Y. Link said while constantly banging his head against an arcade machine.
"Hey kid, you can't hit the machines." A random worker told him.
"Fine." Y. Link said. He closed his eyes, turned around and hit his head against the nearest object, which unfortunately happened to be a decorative cactus. "OW! Stupid cactus!" Y. Link picked up the cactus, ran out the door, and hurled the cactus in to the air. And it went surprisingly far.
Meanwhile…
Bowser was walking down the street leisurely. "Aaaaaaahhh… so nice to go for a few pages without the author dropping something on my head." Bowser sighed. Suddenly Bowser noticed a shadow growing bigger and bigger around his head. "Huh?" Bowser looked up when…
CRASH
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! Get it off!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Bowser screamed. A cactus had hit him in the face and was apparently stuck as well. Bowser eventually hit a street post and fell on his back. "Ooooooooohhhhh…" He actually hit the street post hard enough to where it wobbled quite a bit before it fell back and landed on top of him.
BONG
"Ack… I'm stuck…"
"Hey Bowser! Get the post off of you so I can swindle… I mean make a deal with you!" Wario shouted.
Meanwhile…
Kirby and Yoshi were now ordering their tenth round of food from the restaurant. "Okay, now Pit!" Meta-Knight whispered. Pit walked over towards Kirby and Yoshi's table right next to the waiter, when he flapped his wings so that the waiter was knocked off balance.
"Whoa!" The waiter's tray went flying through the air until…
"Man! This is great Falco! Let's order thirds! I'm starved!" Ness shouted.
"Ugh…" Falco moaned. He was about to call the waiter when a plate of barbecue landed on his head. "This… could not get any worse…" Falco moaned. It was then that a glass of water went flying until it hit him as well. "Uuuuuuhhh…" Falco moaned.
"Oops, sorry Falco." Pit said peeking around the table. "Please forgive me." Pit begged.
"You're okay…" Falco sighed.
"Uh-oh…" DK's grunt came when he accidentally tripped a waiter as he stood up and sent a tray full of various food flying until it hit Falco.
"Now him… HE'S DEAD!!!" Falco shouted getting up and chasing after DK.
"OOOO!!!" DK ran for his life out the door with Falco in hot pursuit.
Meanwhile…
The three pokemon were sitting on some street corner completely bored out of their minds. This segment shall be translated. "Any ideas?" Pichu asked.
"No." Jigglypuff answered.
"Now?" Pichu asked.
"No." Pikachu answered.
"Now?"
"No." Jigglypuff.
"Now?"
"No." Pikachu.
"Now?"
"No."
"Now?"
"No."
"Now?"
"Yes!" Jigglypuff shouted.
"Really?" Pichu asked.
"No." Jigglypuff answered.
"Oh wait! I know!" Pikachu shouted.
"What?" The other two asked.
Later…
"Pikachu!" Pikachu shouted with a ski mask over his head pointing a water gun at a bank teller.
"Okay okay! Just don't shoot!" The teller handed over some money as Pikachu ran out of the bank. Back to translating.
"Floor it!" Pikachu shouted.
"Right!" Jigglypuff floored the pedal, to a small car the size of a little kid's toy car that just fit the three small pokemon.
"It's the coppers!" Pichu shouted. As a bunch of police cars began following them.
"You'll never take us alive coppers!" Jigglypuff shouted as she slammed the gas pedal again.
"I'm going after them chief!" A random police officer shouted.
"Don't do it Johnny!" A policeman with a gray mustache shouted as the police officer known as Johnny sped ahead. The three Pokemon then drove off the cliff C. Falcon drove off of earlier and began tumbling down a hill while the police cars so stupidly followed.
Meanwhile…
"Sheesh, that took forever." C. Falcon whined.
"Well we have enough food for the mansion for now." Samus said. "And we managed to pay for it."
"Don't you mean I paid for it." C. Falcon moaned looking at his empty wallet. That's when the Pokemon's car and all the police cars drove over them and began crashing through the parking lot.
CRASH
BAM
KABOOM
C. Falcon and Samus blinked at this sight for a second, turned to look at each other and both said.
"Don't want to know." They somehow managed to shove all the groceries in to the Blue Falcon and drive off.
Meanwhile…
"Hmmmmmmmmmm…" Mewtwo chanted while meditating in the living room.
"Sheesh-a… Falco tied-a these tight." Luigi said as he finally untied Roy.
"Heh… heh…" Roy said gasping for breath. "Now to call Lilina." Roy reached for the phone and dialed her number. "Hey Lilina… you busy tomorrow, I can come pick you up and we can go have lunch tomorrow. Really? Great! Okay, I'll see you tomorrow at eleven." Roy hung up the phone. "Yes! Have a date with Lilina!" Roy said.
"I'm sensing… a disaster… tomorrow…" Mewtwo said slowly so that everyone could hear him in their heads.
"Do you-a ever use your-a vocal cords?" Luigi asked.
"Uuuuuuhhhh…" Mewtwo thought for a minute. Now that he thought about it, he never had used his vocal cords before. "Well… oh dear…" Mewtwo's usually hard expression kind of softened to a more worried look as he floated out of the living room. "Hm… never really… geez…"
Meanwhile…
Link and Ganondorf had both tied in their last ten dance offs, and they still decided to go again. "You'll… never… beat me…" Link gasped as the "Le Bamba" started once again.
"I'll… take you… down…" Ganondorf gasped as they started to dance to the steps perfectly once again.
Y. Link then came in through the door with Zelda. "See!" He said while pointing at the two.
"Ugh… not again…" Zelda sighed. Link and Ganondorf were completely oblivious to Zelda standing behind them as they continued to dance. "Din's fire…" Zelda made a fireball sneak slowly over toward the machine until it was inside the machine when she ignited it.
KAAAAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Link and Ganondorf went flying out of the arcade and in to the pavement unconscious.
"Let's take them home." Zelda said, now dressed as Sheik as she had two shadow clones drag them down the pavement back toward the mansion.
Quite a while later…
Mario pulled the modest car from yesterday out of the garage and up to the end of the mansion walkway and stopped to allow Peach to climb in. "Here you go." Mario said.
"Thank you." Peach said. As they drove toward the Movie Theater, Peach took notice of the crescent moon out tonight. "It's quite a lovely night wouldn't you say?"
"It-a sure is." Mario said while driving. As the car drove off, Wario drove up from around the corner in the Wario car from Double Dash.
"Heh heh… you won't enjoy your night soon Mario…" Wario snickered.
"And Peach will be mine after this." Bowser said darkly.
"Wah ha ha ha ha ha!" They both laughed as Wario drove after them.
After quite a while, Mario and Peach walked out of the Movie Theater. "Hungry Peach?" Mario asked.
"Yes, I am actually."
"How about-a something to-a eat?" Mario offered.
"Okay then." Peach smiled.
"Now Bowser." Wario whispered from the bushes.
"Koopa fire burst." Bowser breathed a light flame on to a fuse attached to a Molotov cocktail and rolled it toward the car. However, Mario's foot kicked it so that it spun back toward the bushes slowly. As the car drove off, "Oh no…"
KABOOM
"You idiot…" Wario said.
"It was your idea." Bowser retorted.
Meanwhile…
Snake was in his bedroom. It was a rather dull room. Completely gray and the bed looked like a cot. Plus the closet was just full of his weaponry and other gear. The only thing interesting was the window and balcony, which just seemed to clash with the room. But Snake didn't care about these things. Snake looked out the window and thought to himself. "You know… I could use some fresh air." Snake opened the window and stepped out on to the balcony.
"Through yonder window breaks! 'Tis the east, and Solid Snake is the sun!" Shouted an all too familiar voice.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING OUTSIDE OF MY BALCONY???" Snake shouted looking down to see Mr. 2 standing there.
"Well, that's no way to reply." Mr. 2 answered back. "And after I was given a key to the front gates. Can't I visit you every once in a while.
"OF COURSE NOT!!!" Snake shouted down.
"Awww… you're so cruel snaky boy. But that just makes me more determined to win you over!" Mr. 2 shouted.
"WOULD YOU GET OUT!!!" Snake shouted
"Ta-ta snaky boy." Mr. 2 called back as he danced off in to the night.
"Who the hell gave him a key anyways?!" Snake shouted.
Nearby…
"And that's what you get for hustling me." Marth snickered.
Meanwhile…
"This is a lovely place Mario." Peach said as she took another bite of her fresh salad. It was a very lovely looking Italian restaurant. Mario had ordered a bowl of spaghetti.
"Thank you very much." Mario said. The two had a seat outside on a dining balcony that had a lovely view of the moon.
"Okay light it." Bowser whispered from the bushes below the balcony.
"There we go." Wario lit a fuse to that trailed to some box full of rockets and such. When it reached the box.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
"Huh?" The two looked up to see the rockets launch in to the air leaving multi-colored sparks behind as they did so. The rockets then exploded in to brilliant colors and patterns.
"Oh how lovely." Peach said.
"Mama-mia. What a good-a show." Mario said.
"Bowser! You didn't say those were fireworks!" Wario hissed.
"Uh… oops…" Bowser said sheepishly. Then one of the fireworks went astray and launched itself toward the two and exploded.
KABOOM
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"My fingers are sore…" I moan.
"That's what you get for beating me at Go-Fish." Ron Host pouted.
"What was that Ron?" I ask threateningly.
"Uuuuuhhhh…"
"Three two one…" I clap my hands.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" A trap door opens up beneath Ron Host's chair and he falls in to a deep pit.
"It's good to be the author." I say while nodding and smiling.